powerpearls

if your ears were to separate from your body.. and not die from the lack of blood and nerve endings and or whatever the hell it is that keeps your ears warm and functional.. they'd go from record shop to record shop until they've found this Powerpearls series. or at least.. that's what my ears would do. your ears might.. join together and fly around like a butterfly.. see. they're much more difficult to find when they're like that. and they'll buy gas cans and burn things. so. either don't let your ears separate from you.. or listen to the Powerpearls series so your ears will have something to look forward to when they're free.

propaganda

i may or may not have cut my hair too short. and i may or may not have noticed that i cut my hair too short. i'd say.. mostly may. but toss in a couple not's and we'll have an argument because i really did cut my hair too short. oh well. at least the hair does what it likes to do... grow. and be black. and not take bird shit.

i think something's wrong with my ears. like i'm hearing stuff. but it's not as loud as it should be. also it's somewhat delayed if i'm not focusing on it. i blame einstein. i already made relativity my bitch.. no need to go through that stuff again. but um.. the photoelectric effect.. that's another story. no bitch making there. or maybe i did make it my bitch and i don't know about it yet. like.. you.. are not my bitch.. yet... and now my ears want to make things all loud. music is just brilliant stuff.

isn't it strange how a 5 week history course will tell you most shit you ever heard in a 5 week span? just relax. everybody needs to relax. if i ever found a college of some sort.. the whole mantra thing will be.. 'can you relax? just relax.' and i'll tell anybody who applied to UCI to fuck off. unless they're upset about not being accepted. then hey.. let's go vandalize some stuff and steal their rabbits. nerds at UCI are no help.

i think that the signs around campus that have the warning about high voltage is brilliant... there's this electric monster shocking the hell out of some person retarded enough to touch dangerous electrical stuff while not grounded... but what do i know about electricity.. i shocked myself when i was unplugging my printer. my pinky wouldn't stop moving. who needs drugs when you go electricity to make you do stuff you don't want to. in the future drugs will be replaced by super controlled electricity that'll just re-wire your mind momentarily. or not. i know nothing about drugs.

see. chinese poets would get drunk and do their poetry thing. i say.. 'no beber' to reclaimed water. and that's what the signs on campus tell me. i do as they say. if they ever make a sign that says. jump here.. and it's at a cliff. i just may do it. i just won't jump forward like retards will.. and i'll live.

drug music

i like drug music. you should too.

i'm making history my bitch. time machines for sale.

eggplants

i thought eggplants were poisonous. i don't know why. probably because of that eggplant fucker from the kid icarus game on the nintendo. he'd toss eggplants at you.. and if you got hit you'd have to walk around with this eggplant stuck to your head. and you looked like a dork. don't ever go near one-eyed eggplants that are wearing robes and shouting at you. eggplants are weird.

i happen to be very far ahead with my readings and stuff. like.. i'm so far ahead that when i turn around.. i see myself. what does that even mean? if i ever turned around and saw myself.. i'd just freak out.. and my head would explode or something. note to self.. never travel through time to surprise yourself.. myself.

chase

my nose is runny. i think i'm getting sick or something. but it's cool. as long as i don't sneeze in anybody's face it's cool. or maybe i'm too cool. and that's why i'm getting sick.

leave all such chasing to the police.. and the people behind me because i'm fast. and when you get those high speed chases.. those are the best. they usually end with people laying on the hot pavement and burning themselves because they decided to drive around in circles thinking the 50 police cars.. and the helicopter. and the thousands of people watching.. would get tired of him driving around in circles. but they don't. it's kind of like nascar.. except the driver isn't getting paid for driving in circles.. they get to go to jail.

and.. if you're drinking and decide to try out a high speed chase you'll just end up splashing yourself with.. i don't know.. battery acid. because you enjoy the taste of it. either that.. or. glue.. you drink some really messed up stuff. so you know what. just leave any sort of chasing to the professionals.. they're called the retarded kids from the lucky charms commercials. you can't catch a leprechaun named lucky.. who has hearts, stars, clovers, horseshoes, and blue moons. pots of gold and rainbows, and the red balloon. i think that's all of them.

endorphins

more things need to be like those old timey bikes with the big wheel in the front.

less things need to be like US history. especially the kind you learn in 5 weeks.

the sun needs to relax a little. or greenhouse gases need to relax. you know.. like spray some endorphins up there or something. how many zombies do we need, to gather up the correct amount of brains, so we can spray the sky with endorphins? and even if it doesn't do anything for global warming.. at least people will be feeling pretty good about things.. unless their brains were used for the spray. or if i have my biology completely wrong and endorphins aren't made in the brain.. and they make you feel like you're eyes are under very intense pressure. like a fat man is sitting on them while farting.


dear biology,

i don't like you.

love,
nelson

it smells like cheese. french cheese.

what am i going to call it? rice krispies and lemonade? that's how it all sounds to me. at least through these headphones.. that's how it sounds. it has the same snappingly, crackingly, poppingly of rice krispies. and for some reason i think that sounds english. like.. english muffins aren't as nice as regular muffins. and not quite as nice as this big muff pi that i spent my money on. very crunchy sounding. like.. somebody stuck their leg in a bone crushing machine. and out came this wonderful sound of chopped up soundwaves with a dash of mrs. dash.. she's such an asshole. everybody likes distortion right? like. your face is distorted and it's extremely attractive. like you stuck a magnet in your face.. and i'm made of metal. that sort of thing. or the other way around.. with the metal face and magnets being me. dr. doom is so sexy..

i managed to find this series of superstastic powerpop called powerpearls. 10 volumes of the best music you've ever heard.. but you haven't heard it yet.. because this stuff is extremely obscure. like.. you get this german powerpop. and you have no idea what they're saying.. but it's like.. fuck. you fucking nazis know how to make stuff extremely bubble-gummy. and you get japanese powerpop. tojo knows how to make stuff move. so basically.. world war 2 knows how to play some nice powerpop. this stuff is fantastic. trashy.. yet extremely catchy. usually you throw trash out. i tend to let it pile up.. and then throw it out. i'll say it's a good 3 feet high now. or a yard. or exactyl 91.44cm. because the metric system is the best system ever.. right after the super nintendo. and maybe the other nintendo systems.

i've grown slightly fond of the whole 'whiskey and gin' thing. let's all drink to the death of a clown and such.

i want to say.. something smells like cheese. but nothing does.

!

finals

you always tell your finals not to fuck with you. but the first thing they do is.. they fuck with you.

if you really don't want to take your finals.. you can always bring a lot of soup to class. and instead of taking your final.. you'll have 2 hours to enjoy some soup.

or you can study. or not study because you're such a genius like me and spend half your studying time staring at the price of a guitar hoping it will magically change for some reason. i did manage to get it to $1400 from $1999.. but no magic was involved. i just found a new place to stare.

energy drinks make me pee.