less

-"I didn't know it was loaded" is not an acceptable excuse. "I wasn't there" or "I never met those people" are better excuses.



i could've put less thought into this. as well as other things. and that's exactly what i'll be doing now.

ok

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...


uhhhhhhhh...


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uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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ok.

feeling the awfuls

what a terrible night to have a curse.

knife

what's going to end up happening is.. a knife is going to be stuck in my left hand. not stuck.. like i'm holding it really tightly.. but stuck. like it's through my hand. and it's a very serious medical situation type thing. i'll probably leave before the ambulance arrives though. because i think gauze will fix everything. what do you mean it doesn't? don't tell me i need leeches.

and that's what's going to happen when you get me, a watch case that won't open, and a knife together. hey. if there's anything as thin and rigid as a knife i'd like to know. well. surgical tools maybe.. but i'm not that stupid.. well. i am. but i don't have the money for surgical tools.


i'm somewhat affraid of sleeping. after thinking that you're pretty much half dead while you do so. also my mind can be a terrible place to spend 6-10 hours every night. but seeing as how i lose my mind when i don't get at least a couple hours of sleep.. i guess it's worth dealing with thoughts like.... um.. dwight from the office chopping your arms off with a katana.. or governor arnold chasing you down in a hummer. those stand out for some reason. or that one dream i had when i was little.. where a couple of robbers were in the house. and i tried pulling some home alone type shit.. by pouring a bunch of sunny delight.. across the floors trying to make them slip. it didn't work out too well. also we had those western swingy doors instead of our regular ones.

yeah right this is 10% of my brain at work.

watch

i need a new watch battery. but instead of that.. i bought a new watch. a better watch. mickey mouse is on this watch. so when i want to know what time it is.. mickey mouse will tell me the time. he lets me call him mick sometimes.. i'll say. 'hey mick, what's the time?' and he'll point towards some numbers and show me. then i'll ask him again an hour later.. and he'll be pointing at the same numbers.. because this watch also needs a new watch battery. and he doesn't let me call him mick anymore.


the blob is a winner. and we're not.

quiz

yes. today was a good day. top of the morning and stuff. i said. 'take that, thermo quiz!' obeyed the hell out of the first law. and used proper engineering problem solving techniques to arrive at the conclusion.. that quality is the mass of the vapor divided by the total mass. which is equal to the mass flow rate of the vapor divided by the total mass flow rate. people like to overthink.. i'll start overthinking as soon as somebody tells me i'm thinking too much. so far.. all i've gotten was my history teacher telling me to write in complete sentences. which is understandable.. because my answers look really retarded... or not really.. i really think she doesn't like my group.

cardigans are very fashionable. oversized. normal sized. undersized. full of holes.. etc. and the other etc. but none of that zipper shit. buttons are the way to go. buttons are also very fashionable.. except for the button fly pants.. cause if you need to pee. and i mean.. really need to pee. you panic. and buttons become difficult. but it sort of makes the urination more enjoyable with all the relief and stuff.

sound

i believe i'm no longer making noise. i am now making sound.. not quite music yet though. but sound is much more pleasing to the ear than noise. i blame the more sophisticated music i've been listening to recently. not really.. sophisticated. but i didn't know what else to say.. if you want.. i can say this. it requires no thinking. unless you're reading it.

music i are listened to is being good of the nature for ear tone. highly standard lacking not awful notes now with three and more playings. find me out when in the morning. tomorrow for me is will be good for fingers when i cut them to the nail get shorter. do. re. mi.

ass graft

and when i thought i sounded bad.. this thai guy on youtube said to me.. 'nelson. no. this is how you sound bad.' and i was just blown away by such shitty sound. like his playing made my speakers grow a digestive system.. just so they could produce the shit that he's making with his voice and guitar. mainly the guitar. and then he has a little video of him sounding very good.. because he's faking the playing and singing. he has some cd or something of the choir's it's cold outside. and that's just a brilliant song. so it was upsetting to see him do that.

and to top it off.. he says. 'I don't think I ever played so good. It is a great song it just has so much energy.'

if i ever see this guy get famous.. i'm telling my doctor to take some of my ass meat and graft it over my ears so i won't need to hear his garbage.. and if you ever see me get famous.. i'll pay for your ass grafts.. or send you a postcard. whichever you prefer.

dreamt

did i dream how the world was going to end? it was really weird stuff. like.. it started out really normal.. then it's like the future wanted to fuck with us.. so they sent this frozen explosion with a sign next to it for us to look at.. i forgot what it said.. but there was this explosion outside my window and it was just stuck there. sort of like a mushroom cloud.. but it wouldn't go away. it was motionless. then later after that went away.. there was like a cult outside my window. all these people and cars and stuff. and they were being very cult-like.. then we had to get on a train.. because something was going to happen. and i saw my brother. and we really really looked terrible. imagine us looking like shit.. we looked worse than that. and i woke up after getting on the train..

when i fell asleep again.. i was like.. a security guard or something at big lots... or whatever the new pic and save is. and i locked my keys in my car or something. or i got into a fight in the parking lot.. something happened in the parking lot. i don't remember. i should write this down when i wake up.

i think melatonin does more than help me sleep..

last time i took it i dreamed about a sapphire blue spider with fangs on its ass. and it was really big. and it was next to a doorknob. and i had to open the door.. but the spider was there. so i took a ruler.. knocked it off the doorknob.. then pinned it down with the ruler. and its ass popped. and i didn't even open the door after that.


dreams are rather bland without it.

monster

there must be some leaf monster outside.. because all i've heard for the past 3 hours is somebody's leaf blower. i just don't know if i want to go out and help. if they happen to be eucalyptus leaves.. i'll need to get a koala. or fire. either one will work. monsters hate fire. unless it's a fire monster. and koalas aren't cute at all.. they look all grouchy.. like somebody's made them drink too much coffee and they haven't slept in 9 weeks. they're the real monster.

lines

i get it and i don't get it at the same time. these sleeping pills are supposed to make some brain juice that makes you sleep or something. but how do they know that this particular brain juice makes you sleep? biology is an ass for an assless man. i don't know what that means. and i really don't care. as long as nobody is drinking my brain juice.. and the pills aren't the kind that make you see weird stuff. really weird stuff. seeing that line on the floor move doesn't count. and that acid test shirt that my professor wore doesn't count either.. but that shirt was just a bunch of stripes. but they really looked like they were moving around. my eyes really don't like to keep things still.. especially lines that have absolutely no reason to be moving around. unlike lines of cocaine.. which the extremely rich enjoy moving into their nose and through their bloodstream.

rotate.

i got a 20/20. and an 'excellent!' on my homework. then i noticed i had a bruise on my knee. must have been from when i kneed. kneeed. knee-ed. that's really confusing. but it must have been from when i kneed that car during one of those street fighter bonus rounds.. or i probably got it from rotating around in my turny chair and banging my knee into the junk under my desk. i blame the chair company for making my chair rotate. and i blame myself for finding enjoyment in rotating around in a chair.

and that's why the side of my knee is blue. internal damage is the best.

voodoo

my leg felt funny. and when i looked down at it there was a bunch of blood on it. and it was all coming from this really small cut. i don't think that makes any sense. small cuts shouldn't produce large amounts of blood. or maybe it's some conservation of mass type thing.. where a shit load of blood needs to pour out so you don't screw with the laws of physics.. we need some amendments to that stuff.

but yeah. i cleaned it up and stuff. but i still don't know how i got the cut. so if you're pulling some curse type stuff. with voodoo dolls and pins and knives or something.. it would be nice if you wouldn't give me random cuts. also stick a couple hundred bucks in my hand. and stop sticking pins in my eyes in the morning.

this is probably what i get for picking baron samedi in goldeneye all the time.. or not so much anymore. but when that used to be the game to play. hey. anybody who can run around in a tophat and no pants.. and just shoot all sorts of breathing holes in you is pretty fantastic.

stolen chair

i stole this chair and it smells like urine. there's no such thing as good smelling urine.. unless you're a monster that pisses oranges or something. if you happen to be that monster. please piss on my chair. and remove the armrests.. but what the hell. the armrests are keeping the chair together.. so i can't take them off. so i have to hold my guitar at such weird angles because the armrests get in the way. or i'm forced to make noise on the guitar while standing up.


the black & whites - you're the only girl
it's brilliant. only if you're into that stuff. most people aren't because they don't use their ears properly. ha!

quatro de Julio

somebody's fireworks sound like a really really thick fart.. the kind that's extremely dense gas that emits some low pitched bass fart. or you know.. maybe it wasn't some fireworks. maybe somebody was standing outside of my window letting out identical sounding farts a couple seconds apart. i'll never know though. because i didn't look out and check.

above the influence

how much is being spent on these above the influence commercials? because you could just take that money.. and really do some good. cancer research is always nice. we need more cancer research commercials. but why don't we ever see cancer research commercials? because they don't want to fuck around with our money.

i need either more power outlets. or less plugs. either or. i bite my thumb at them.