traffic.

i felt very tired today. around noon i managed to sleep with my eyes open in class. this is probably why people drink coffee.. to avoid stuff like this.

there was this lady driving behind me today. she's a terrible person. and i'm basing all this on the fact that she talks to herself and waves her arms around while driving because she was pissed. sure. there was traffic. but she was getting really upset. and i'm sitting there.. smiling. i don't know why angry people are funny. unless that anger is directed in my direction.. 'directed in my direction.' that's awful.

mental vomit.

bring one of those hairy spiders to the test tomorrow. just so you shit your pants while carrying it around for the 8 hours before the test. that way.. you'll test lightly. or am i confusing this with dog racing.. well. maybe the spider will be awesome the way anansi is awesome. and if i can remember a book from 15 years ago.. i can certainly shove 3 chapters of rocks and minerals into my brain then mentally vomit it out afterwards. the aftertaste is going to be awful.

sick.

i'm sick.. at first it was like. hey this is cool. i haven't been sick in a while. so this is kind of nice. but now.. now it's all just.. being sick. and that just takes all the fun away. the fun.. of being sick. i don't think i'm making any sense.

i'm in the f-ing zone!

if nature's nuts were as good as human nuts.. i'd be terribly affraid of aliens coming after mine. or yours. i'm sure they taste awful though. something in them has to make them taste bad.. because.. aliens haven't come down in like 50,000 years in search of nuts. but let's give nature credit here. nuts are pretty good stuff. and peanuts... both the comic strip and the nut.. are the king of all nuts. unless we start talking about crazy people. because then people like edward h. gein are all over things like that. fucking lunatic.

i need to find some new music to listen to. not like.. 'new' music. but music that is enjoyable to the ear. if i can stand it for 2 minutes.. it's good music. and these new headphones allow me to hear things that were once unheard.. and at the same time they look extremely sexy. those bose headphones you have totally want to sleep with these sexy headphones. just wait for the lawsuit after it happens.

anybody who loses their sense of typing when they're drunk needs to work on their typing. or drinking. it's probably easier to work on the typing. and more hazardous to the liver to work on the drinking.

i'm still somewhat upset about not realizing that it was lou reed's wild side song playing in that gatorade commercial.. i just never thought a song about a cross dresser would get people to buy a sports drink for off-field activities.. maybe it's a drink for cross dressers.. i don't think they'll make that much money if that's their target audience.

and i have the hiccups. what the hell....

oh. and billy mitchell is an asshole.

rain.

again. why does the news feel it's so important that we know it's been raining? less emphasis is put on whether or not it's going to rain. but the second the raindrops hit the ground they're standing out 'live' in the rain reporting on how.. rain falls. and makes things wet. any retard could do it. 'today the rain fell vertically once again.. downward in the direction of gravity in most areas...'

see. it felt good today. next time the sun is beating the shit out of me.. and drying it very quickly.. i want to hear some crap about how the rays emitted by the sun tend to heat things.

and they win emmy's for this stuff because people are like.. 'holy shit. that's all new to me.'

house.

i told myself to stop watching house while eating. and i didn't listen. and what happened was.. i got to the episode where some girl shits out of her mouth. since then i've stopped watching house while eating.

learning is fun.

moment.

my head's spinning.. in a non devil possessed way.

brain damage.

all i wanted was some brain damage. that's all anybody really wants right?

the wild side.

i was almost certain that the song gatorade was using in one of their ads was a rolling stones song. i was thinking it was the intro to sympathy for the devil or something. but.. i was wrong. very very wrong.. not even close. it ended up being lou reed's walk on the wild side. i knew i heard it before. and it bothered me enough to think about it for about 40 seconds.. then i went and played a bunch of rolling stones songs thinking i'd find it.. but then i finally went and looked it up on google. and it was like.. lou reed!? fuck! why did i think it was the rolling stones...

sure is a strange choice though. they can't go anywhere near the main part of the song about cross dressers and stuff that goes on in the public bathroom when you don't need to go to the bathroom.. uhh.. something about never losing your head..

remember that choice i didn't like being forced into a while back? i made a pretty damn good choice. aside from the cork. it's pretty solid. like.. a crystal clear case that gets all scratched up and looks like shit.

the soda pop kid's shots of whiskey decided to play on the itunes. it's pretty brilliant. i'm going to say.. it's the philo farnsworth of songs. or maybe television should be the philo farnsworth of songs.. except they're a band... why i remember that i did a little report on him in 8th grade english right now.. i have no idea. but it was awesome. we made these little trading cards out of 3x5 index cards. ha.. and in 7th grade i totally did a report on hitler. copied the hell out of that time magazine article.. and i cited my source. or i didn't. that part i can't remember.

i don't like this feeling of not being sleepy at night.. and not wanting to wake up in the morning. and i'm not going near those sleeping pills.. because they do awful things to my dreams. it's like.. woah. this is slightly too vivid.

i never thought holding a bucket could be so hard. and i never thought i'd be sore from doing so. it was very intense bucket holding action.. which then forced me into controlling the fibers due to injury. they listed me as doubtful for the bucket holding.. and questionable for the fibers.. because they kept saying i forgot to put them in. no. i'm not like that. or i am.. but i'm pretty sure i wasn't when i was doing the fibers. i fibered the hell out of those mixes.

hey.. does the kkk take the day off tomorrow? if they feel they shouldn't acknowledge dr. king.. and work.. that's cool. they should help me finish up my homework and write up. or.. maybe not. i'd just get a bunch of shit. all the numbers for hydraulics would be replaced by a couple swastikas and a paragraph about how water was created by white people.. so only white people should be able to use it. and my lab write up will be about that one time nathaniel forrest pretended to drink 50 gallons of water and scared 3 families of black people on the same night. people can be such fuckers.

i hope that spider doesn't bite me.


the 'wild' side is pretty good. clint eastwood would do the same thing.

wet towel.

i smell like wet towel. you know. that smell. i walked into the room and somebody said.. 'who got my towel wet?' and when they checked their towels and they were dry. i ran away. does it make any sense? it doesn't need to. i smell like wet towel. so i need to shower to produce an actual wet towel smell... on a wet towel. not me.

cold.

i'm like a nice bottle of beer. cold. and i want to be drunk. and in time.. converted to urine.


they're definitely putting me in a situation i really don't want to be in. and they're forcing me into a decision that really has no 'right' answer.. because they were all out of it. except for the larger more expensive 'right' answers.

muh..

the alarm goes. "beep! beep! beep! beep!"

and i go, "muuuuh..."

chortle.

i don't need to say much about that.. writer's from the 50's were awesome.

more of that stuff is here..

http://www.superdickery.com/

but come on.. joker's boner can't be beat.

my number.

i've managed to confuse myself with large amounts of repetitive numbers and variables. i knew i messed up when my answer wasn't 4 times the original amount.. the way it should be. no. my answer was the arnold schwarzenegger of numbers. something like 160 times the original amount. it can't be beat.. but it's still wrong. and i knew i really messed up after redoing the problem 4 times with 4 different answers.



ok. today i figured it all out now. apparently i've been using something called.. "super-mathematics!" with an exclamation point. 20 x 16 x 10 = 32,000! i guess 3,200 wasn't super enough. but that extra zero really really gets it there.
but what makes my math so super is the whole degrees and radians thing. applying units to a unitless number will get you really really far.. so far. that your numbers end up being huuuuge. 'next request, please!'

super bowl.

here's what's going to happen. i have two contractions in a row. i thought i had three in a row.. but right after i thought it up. i forgot it. it certainly sounds better than.. here is what is going to happen. and i ate too much today.

all these stupid teams are playing football. but you know what.. screw the nfl. i can't open a restaurant and have super bowls on the menu or they'll sue my ass. but what's the point of having a restaurant if people can't come in and say.. 'i want a super bowl of spaghettios!' so there goes that idea out the window. back to the get rich slowly schemes.

nelson's 88% awesome superbowl prediction (the other 12% is for more awesomeness):

green bay - a safety and all the other stuff they did
the losing team (new england or something) - the losing score

just wait and see.

ultraman.

ultraman is cool. don't say he isn't.. anybody who tosses short armed monsters around like that has to be cool. note to the monster.. grow your arms longer before trying to bite those yellow eyes out of ultraman's head. and note to everybody else.. find a short armed monster to toss around so you can up your coolness.. but maybe use gloves. because those spikes will probably poke holes through your non ultra hands. and if that happens, chop your arms off and smash up some cardboard cities so ultraman can throw you into jupiter's red spot.. who needs nasa? and i just ultramanned the hell out of 3 homework problems.. so... i think there was caffeine in my drink.

urinals.

i want to know why the urinals next to the music department are so low. if certain adjustments weren't made i would've pissed all over the pipes and that nifty sensor that flushes the toilet when you step away. yeah. they were pretty low.

hydraumics.

i.

had.

3 too many cookies.

and.

3 too many reese's peanut butter cups.



yesterday my veins looked extra blue. i totally freaked out. i was taking these deep breaths.. i mean. there's a huge blue vein on the palm of my hand. what would you do? it looked like it was going to pop.

today my left leg hurts. only when i walk though. so i'm not walking. i'm rolling around in my rolly chair.

my brain turned off shortly this afternoon. seeing as how i couldn't get the word.. 'hydraulics' out of my mouth. what did i say.. hydraumics or something. hey.. patent pending fuckers. or was it something even more messed up than that.. hydromogy..

see. that's like.. some steel construction bible. i goes for like.. $120 - $400 depending on how you buy it. i got it for $120.. because i signed up to become a member and i'm a student. but for nonmembers and stuff.. your arm and your leg. and maybe a couple of those doubled up organs are tossed in the price.

and then... there's this.

so these religious types where handing these bibles out for free. green covers and all. free! i didn't take one though. but seriously.. how the hell can they afford to give these out for free? just pick up those boxes of bibles and say.. 'fuck you heathens, we tried. those of you who already have your bibles we'll see you in heaven. to everybody else.. we won't see you in hell. but you'll see each other.' see. after that.. everybody would pick up a free bible. but it would be better if they would go feed some starving people. that'd be pretty good. or save the whales. because whales are huge. i could really see myself living inside one comfortably.

101

it's all black and white for me.. now.

back to the story.

rain.

where's the rain? i probably shouldn't ask that.. we'll see in an hour though. when i get washed down the street or something.


color it in.

m&m's (the last m before the second one)

i think i'm done organizing. now if only i could be so relaxed when breaking somebody's arm.

m&m's (the other m)

still organizing my music. but no longer planning on organizing crime. i don't have any good suits for that. nor do i have the capacity for endless amounts of m&m's.

m&m's

i'm organizing my music. because it needs to be organized. i also need more money. while i'm at it.. i should organize some crime too. some sort of bootleg m&m's scheme sounds best. but i'll just end up eating everything.