needles and pins.

have you ever had one of these magic cups that keep refilling themselves? i keep drinking from it. and it keeps refelling itself. it's wild. reminds me of some benny hill thing i saw on a chinese airplane.. the guy could fill his glass with beer by using a remote control.. i must have watched that and all the other crap like 6 times going to china. now if this cup was one of the cups from vegas that holds quarters...

so it begins.

one of the worst feelings.. if the not the worst. is wanting to sneeze.. but the little fucker just won't shoot out. that along with all the other bad feeling. just aren't groovy. and if you want to talk about groovy.. hey. bread. bread is fucking groovy. dinner rolls. sliced white bread. those fancy breads you never knew existed at subway. bread is absolutely awesome. i envy the ducks and their love of bread. if only i had such love for something so brilliant. where are my carbs? uh.. yes. carbs. not crabs. i prefer lobster. and i'm going to get some bread. and 20 seconds in the microwave was way too long for this bread. man... just give me a beak right now. i'll hang out with donald duck all day and raise hell. that one cartoon where he visits the museum of wonders or modern marvels or something along those lines.. is probably one of the best written cartoons out there.. uh.. outside of mike judge's stuff. that's pretty good too.

i get hungry. and i eat. if i can't find something to eat.. i do something stupid.

cloacina. i find some weird stuff sometimes and it makes me happy. goddess of the sewer is a brilliant name for a water filter. come on. if you disagree. then you don't know your goddesses.. or your water filters. i don't know about either.. so it all sounded good to me. if you called it 'shit remover' that would've been good to me. or even. 'hyper ultra pedophiliac waste removal from water system with fancy super processes to remove contaminants (but keep your children away from it) filter' that one takes a bit more time to say.. and explain. just keep your children away though. it's like that one guy from prison break who's missing a hand.

1:49am

who knows. i've been slowly approaching a similar point from a few years back. so hey. let paranoia set in. when it's dark.. i can think somethings there. when there's light. i can see things that aren't really there. with the sounds the way they are there is no way of knowing exactly what's going on behind me until i turn around. the floor is a good place to lay.

12:03pm

soda pop kids - shots of whiskey [write home]

from behind the amp.

adventure.

cure.

garfield minus garfield

Garfield minus Garfield

i don't know why it's funny. but it is.


always look on the bright side. unless you're on the moon.

laying on the floor. staring at the ceiling.

laying on the floor. staring at the ceiling. the same kind of easter but in a different way.

two beards

that guy had two beards. i don't know how he did it. but there were two. and it wasn't one of those things. like the guy had a beard that had a beard. or he had a beard and another beard made of bees. no. the guy had two beards. i was really surprised about that.

big fish. little fish.

this is what the new briefcase does. and one of our fishes died. uh.. fish died.

oh. and what the hell. there was a white bird just laying around on the sidewalk because it was dead. i didn't see a head on it. and it looked like somebody took some sandpaper and went after its neck. or somebody took out their teeth and chewed on it a bit.. it was gross. why would you leave it on the sidewalk and not take it home for lunch? gross.

bird eyes.

ok. seriously. i saw this bird like 2 weeks ago. and it had some eye disease. its eye was all crusted over with white stuff. and for some weird reason i'm driving myself nuts trying to find either the same bird.. or another bird with the same freakish eyes. i mean.. it looked like this.. but it was white. and it had a really uniform pattern. like it wasn't random at all. freakin weird.


or i was seeing things.

finals

this always works.

ron artest.

ok. i've heard some brilliant stuff before.. but this one. might be the single most brilliant thing ever.

'stuck to me, like my balls when it's hot. makes me want to call the cops.'


tell ron artest he's awesome.

live at the gymnasium

sometimes you get gutted. and you spend a couple weeks looking for your lungs. and when you finally find them.. you realize that they aren't yours. but you take them anyway because you're tired of looking.. then after a couple weeks pass by.. you finally find your lungs. and you feel awful because you've left somebody else lungless for a couple weeks. so you go looking for the person who the stolen lungs belong to.. whom the stolen lungs belong to... and in return for using their lungs for 2 weeks.. they give you a fancy bootleg of velvet underground live at they gymnasium. and it melts your ears. and you're happy. just like sister ray said.


i mistyped blogger. and went to blooger.com. for a few seconds i wondered why the page was blank.. after i found my mistake i wondered why it wasn't full of boogers.

woops.

woops.

ducks

the ducks are back on campus. i have to carry bread around in my pockets now.

petrol.

i need to get petrol tomorrow. it makes the car go.

daylight savings

daylight savings time is an asshole. it 'borrows' and hour now. and returns it like 6 months later. even whimpy got stuff back to you sooner than that. and he gladly pays you. none of this sneaky.. 'kapow! here's an hour of extra sleep or insomnia for you to deal with. go eat a lemon.. because you look like a pirate with scurvey. and i ate your cat.' see? what an asshole.

box

the box is so far from where me and my thoughts are.

'hey box! get back here!' but it can't hear me. because i'm too far away.. and it's a box.

suggestion box.
shoe box.
tackle box.
pencil box.
cardboard box.
paper box.
ice box.
music box.


now doesn't the word box just look weird to you? it's like it cheating or playing some sort of trick on you.

say it right.

arkansas.. and kansas.

should it be 'ar-kansas' or 'aurghkeinsauh'. or should kansas be pronounced.. 'kansaaaaaauuuuuu..'

mushrooms.

this will lead to some very sporadic choices. like the choice of using the word, 'sporadic.' it just sounds like you're addicted to mushrooms or something. and if you happen to be addicted to mushrooms.. you either have some pretty good meals. or you're constantly hallucinating.. or you're dead if you're addicted to the large part of the mushroom population that happens to be poisonous. if you're cool with 33%.. then go ahead. you'll end up like that little dork, toad.


they want to push my buttons.