concrete. part 1.

putting on some greg ashley and working on concrete is pretty good stuff.. until one part of a song gets stuck in your head.. and you can't really remember what song it was from.. and then you can't exactly remember the wording of what's stuck in your head.. i think it was. 'you're my medication.' after playing the album over again to find that single verse. i was slightly less distracted by it. it was actually 'you're medicine for me.' which i think is brilliant.. a lot better sounding than what i had. but the album is called 'medicine fuck dream.' it's pretty good. why do i feel so tired?

my brother gave me this really great jacket. so i told him to shut up. and then he told me he was getting a headache from the psych-folk music. and i told him to shut up again. and i changed the music before he punched me in the chin. what did i eat for lunch?

it always takes me a couple seconds to realize that my phone is ringing and it's not just some random noise from outside or something. is the guitar in tune?

today is saturday right?

grainy poop.

while i was sleeping i had to deal with a dream where some guy was talking about grainy poop. i don't even know what that's supposed to be. i don't know. it probably feels awful.. like pooping sand.. or sand paper.. the coarse grained stuff. but yeah. the dangers of grainy poop. don't eat any sand is probably what it means.

not anymore.

i've always felt that kids are getting stupider. and it had something to do with the lack of cartoons being shown in the mornings. because when i was younger, they had cartoons every morning. not the news. but this evening around 8:30-ish.. it finally got to me. no cartoons means kids have no motivation to wake up before school.. if they aren't up before school they act like retards at school and don't learn anything. the way i was.. wake up.. eat breakfast while watching the cartoons.. and then going off to school ready to beat the other nerds at their own game. and then after school there were more cartoons. like a good 3 hours of cartoons. maybe it's the combination of the two that made me such a freakin' genius.. so some sociology studying socialist needs to study this.. because i think that's what they do. give a couple of kids their cartoons before and after school. and give the others either no tv.. or the news. i bet the kids who watch the news will end up vomiting in their own cereal and eating it.. or if it's oatmeal they won't know the difference between the stuff that's gone back out and the stuff that's supposed to go in.

thee makeout party's kids is not stupid though. it's obviously seen it's share of cartoons.

after talking about the thing where you stick your car in drive when you expect it to be in reverse.. i did just that a few minutes later. that's like the 5th time i've done that.

i should probably stop listening to the velvet underground while i'm driving.. i don't know. that stuff keeps getting stuck in my head. and then i hear certain things and think about other things and i end up with a giant web of thoughts.. and i hate spiders.

stupid italian food. i feel like i'm going to throw up. why does it have to taste so good? i'm not going to throw up though. i don't watch the news anymore.

some things i do never come out right.. like this concrete project. and if you listen to thee.. lonely phone calls never come out right either. go listen to their song, pauline, right now... now!

drunken emails that get bounced back always come out right.. but they're never sent. and by that time.. you feel too sick to fill your belly full of wine again.. uh.. the beatles.. her majesty or something like that. or her majesty the decemberists.



concrete. concrete. concrete. concrete. concrete.
concrete. concrete. concrete. concrete.
concrete. concrete.
concrete. concrete. concrete. concrete. concrete. concrete.
concrete. concrete. concrete. concrete. concrete. concrete.
concrete. concrete. concrete.
concrete. concrete.
concrete.concrete.
concrete.
concrete. concrete. concrete. concrete.
concrete. concrete. concrete.
concrete. concrete.
concrete. concrete. concrete. concrete. concrete. concrete. concrete. concrete.
concrete. concrete.
concrete. concrete. concrete. concrete. concrete.

play pretend

i'm listening to a cassette tape right now. it's pretty rad. they made 2 ez 2 luv u even more sexy sounding than before.

lights.

the thing where you turn off the lights and walk right into a wall.

or the thing where you take off the latex gloves and your hands look like you've been processing cocaine all day.

or the thing where you stick a ball of cotton in sulfuric acid to watch it disintegrate.

or the thing where push your notes off your desk.. and think. 'i'm not going to worry about this.'

or the thing where you feel so happy. and then so sad when you remember how much stuff needs to be done.

or the thing where you let yourself forget about the things that need to be done for a moment..

or the thing where lou reed sings about what candy, lisa, caroline, or stephanie says..

or the thing where you had a really good dream. but can't remember it.

it's one of those.

fff..

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.


looks like i ran out of space.

fuck.

a couple more hours of this before i'll be forced to tape my nose shut before i sleep. hopefully the nose is the only way for the brain to escape.

and you don't know who i am. but i know where you live. so you better stop what you're doing if you know what's good for you..

now i'm paranoid.

530 kips.

i are hasing such much fun. the concrete made good well purpose of my mind of the head. who have the finish for the other one of 'lateral loads.' i find but did not find. i make myself very headache and now are the boxed. shipped to the already delivered area. i share with you. me and mine. 'lateral loads.' to reach to maximum.. 530 kips! far too maximum it reaches. i tell myself that are too maximum for build structure to be taken. now i lesser in the mind of head. and when i look more at far great maximum 'lateral load.' i get so such hot.. does i know what why other...

the brain says. 'stop acting like a retard. and fix your retarded asnwers. and while you're at it.. learn to spell answer or i'm crawling out of your nose while you sleep and leaving you..'

now i'm going to sleep.

'you're so far up his ass that when he talks we can see you smiling.'

the sun will shine when.... something. a song from limestone country.. i think. yeah. i'm pretty sure of it. i'm not even going to check. that's how sure i am.

sometimes i wake up and my heart feels like it's trying to punch its way out of my chest. or some alien type thing is happening where the little fuckers inside me are working to pop out and scare whoever's watching. this tends to happen when i nap in my car. it feels weird.


i swear that i love you/meet me in the twilight zone/feel me slip away/because..

if i could make out what they say next i'll be pretty happy.. but i can't. i spent about an hour yesterday trying to figure it out. turned the volume way up and still got nothing.. well i felt a bit dizzy. but that's the mummy's curse.

i should probably go to sleep now. but i'll probably just stare blindly into the dark for about half an hour before i actually do fall asleep. so i'll hold off on that for now. my foot's asleep though..

i don't remember adding simply saucer to my itunes.. but they're there. and their song 'bullet proof nothing' is the song i heard. my old english teachers are proud now.

sure. you could consume more alcohol and hope it all goes away.. but keep the toilets. you'll need those.

now i'm going to sleep.

something.

i poured myself a glass of water.

i still have not taken a sip of said water.

until now... !!!!

i really hope the light or something else is making my water look yellowish.. because if this is some sort of liver failure water then i should probably stop drinking it.

i'm supposed to take words about time, family, and greetings and make it funny. how the fuck am i supposed to do that? the only way i can do that is to make it so stupid and ridiculous that it's funny. i'm thinking dinosaurs. and businessmen. and maybe the inclusion of a drug dealer. and some other person..

'excuse me. may i ask what is your honorable last name?' asks the dinosaur.
'my last name is mouse. my whole name is mickey mouse.' says the drug dealer.
then the businessman shows up and he's like.. 'what time it be?'
and the other person will say.. 'it's 2008. may 29th. 8:56.'
and then the dinosaur will say. 'oh fuck this. 2008? i should be extinct. i'm outta here.' exit dinosaur.. and the drug dealer will ask the other person. 'how many people are in your family?' and the other person will respond.. 'i have 3 people in my family. my dad. my mom. and myself.' then there will be something about opium. and then something about someone working as a prostitute.

i don't think the teacher will give me extra points for the use of 'fuck' and any other such profanities i may feel necessary to include.. there's going to be a lot. because i'm lazy. my mom tells me i sound like an uneducated prisoner that she picked up out of a garbage can. but i'll need to write something better than what i have now.. what i have now will get the teacher very upset.

i think the indoor air pollution is getting to me..

but now.

i have a headache. it's stupid.

but now the headache is gone.. but the building looks fucking stale. don't try to eat it.. because it'll taste awful.

but now i fixed it. it's much more palatable... so go ahead and eat it godzilla..

not washing your hair for a couple days causes it to do strange things..

but now i'm going to sleep. i'll probably have that underwater-look in the morning..

thee makeout party/audacity split 7"

i got this in the mail a couple days ago. it had the plastic outside with a handmade sleeve and a little personalized note that read... 'Hey Nelson! SAME ZIP CODE! Yeah! thanks for buying our record! ♥BURGER' that alone is worth the $6 that i spent.. you'll probably get some other form of love if you have another zip code. so pretty good for $6.

the art on the sleeve is pretty awesome. i see some t-rex armed siamese twin that's joined at the spine hanging out in a womb.. and that got me thinking.. has there ever been a case of siamese triplets? i guess that doesn't matter right now.. the handwriting on the sleeves is rather intimidating.. i think i'm getting a headache by staring at it.

but if you get passed all that and stick your hand inside you get this folded picture of a bunch of white dudes in a tree. which is pretty good.. because you never get white dudes in trees. usually i see like.. thai people racing monkeys up trees in a mad dash to grab a bunch of coconuts.. but not bananas because the monkeys would always win.. but yeah. you get your choice of 8 white guys to look at. pick out your favorite or something. and if you're not into white guys.. the tree is pretty nice to look at. tree hugging has become very popular lately.. so a lot of people are into that sort of stuff.. not me though. i'm trying to read what all the vandals carved into the tree.. i can't quite make it out though.. but i think all that staring i did earlier really did give me a headache.

if you do some other stuff a little 7" record should slide out. it was grey.. i thought it looked weird.. like a good kind of weird. like that girl you like.. turn her skin grey. that's what it's like.

but now you need to stick it on your little turntable thing. it doesn't really matter which side you have it on.. just don't stick it on the edge side. it's probably a lot easier for you to get it on there.. i think i'm missing some piece. but if you have it you're in good shape.

and for the music part.. uh.. you get two songs. one from audacity and the other one from the other band with the longer name.. thee makeout party. they're both good songs.. so if you're into things that are good you'll probably like this. if you're not into things that are good.. you can always spend your $6 on a gallon and a half of gas.. or i don't know how you spend your money.. obviously not on things that are good though.. or you would've already bought the record.. but the songs are called 'slack!' by thee makeout party.. and 'twilight zone' by audacity.

slack reminded me of the velvet underground.. or one part did. pretty good thing to be reminded of. and the twilight zone thing... unfortunately was not like that one episode of the twilight zone with the guy in the carpet suit playing a gremlin.. but it was like flying to mars. and then laying on the martian ground staring up at that weird pink sky.. and it's like hey.. there's a fucking floating door. and then that girl you like falls out of it. and her skin is grey.. and you're happy.

go here to buy it. and listen to some other stuff. and look at pretty pictures. and read what people write.
burger records

or don't listen to me if you've already bought it.

rain.

did anybody else feel like running out into the rain? when i saw the rain that's how i felt. like.. fuck geotech lab.. it's raining. let me run around out there for a while. and when i come back i'll be sick.. and i'll feel less positive about the rain. but i'll really earn that sickness.. so it evens out.


i feel very tired. i'm going to sleep.. after i melt and sink into the floor. that's what sound does.

wang zhizhi.

the basketball team from LA that wears purple and gold and sometimes white won today. they beat the team that wore black and like.. silver or something. or white. or grey. or gray. but seriously.. where is wang zhizhi? you can't even call it basketball if he's not playing. and if you don't know who he is.. he's only the greatest chinese player ever.. and maybe even one of the greatest to ever play the game. just imagine shaq and kobe having a child that's chinese.. hit him a couple times with a bicycle. and then dip him in that achilles water.. but hold him by the face.. that's wang zhizhi.

'after facing numerous death threats by me.. the lab report decided to write itself.'

broken ankles.

today is about failure. the way that steel frame swayed about given the right frequency was crazy. but all i could think about was standing on the shake table. let's see you reach my natural frequency you stupid oscillating plate! then my ankles will probably snap. and then every time i step on a basketball court the crowd will laugh. 'nigga done got his ankles broke!' then i'll probably go to sleep. because i'm tired.

pale blue eyes.

pale blue eyes is a lovely song. what makes it even more lovely is when maureen tucker sings it. you remember how you felt when koolaid came out with new flavors? it's not really like that.. but that's the only thing i could think of at the moment. yeah.. last flavor i remember was that red powder that gave you blue water.. but the stuff tasted like lemonade or something. the kool-aid man is a very deceptive pitcher like that. you really need to get yourself some kool-aid. and you also really need to hear maureen tucker sing pale blue eyes. it's off of that searchin' for my mainline album.. try your usual illegal sources.. because getting it legally is probably impossible.

there's a lot of stuff that goes on in that song.

'HEY KOOL-AID!'
'OH YEEEAH!!'

now you have a broken wall.

radio's buzzing.

the circle is the asshole of all shapes. the triangle is the strongest.. but the square is probably the best shape there is. 'i'm a mother fucking square bitch! count them. 4 sides. 4 right angles. don't fuck with the square..' says the square.

similarly.. the asshole of all letters.. is the letter 'k.' the best letter.. is probably.. L... that's the only letter i can think of right now for some reason. but i think it's a pretty solid letter. it shows up a lot more that you would think.. and it's pretty awesome to say. lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll... try doing that with the letter K... kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.... and you'd be labeled as a racist.. or maybe a really good pitcher.

and holy shit. the saddest song just started playing. i don't know what they're saying exactly.. because the song is in french.. but it has this drowning organ in the background and everything else just injects large amounts of downers in you. and then the violins come in.. and it's just ok.. you french canadian assholes are making me sad. but with the title of 'salive' which translates to salivate or something.. i'm like.. how can there be a sad song about salivating.. i mean it sounds like it would be sad. i really need to learn some french. or have some french person translate the song for me.. or you know what.. translate all of chocolat's songs for me. they're all good and i don't know what's going on in any of them. so... listen to chocolat's ep and album.. the album is called piano elegant.. the e's have those accents above them. uh.. just using my fancy american knowledge of the french language.. piano elegant probably translates to piano of the elephants.. no it's elegant. i'm not a dick like that. french people are great. and french canadian people might be even better..

'i'm picking up bad vibrations/everywhere that i go...' so that psychedelic horseshit song entitled 'bad vibrations' is pretty good. i mean.. it's better than good. it's gooder than good. and then the line.. 'i'm picking up bad vibrations.. from. everybody.. that i know..' ha! those columbus ohio fuckers are brilliant. and then 'oooh ooooh ooh ohhhh..' seriously.. why can't more music be like this.

here's what i've learned in the past couple days about music.. it's ok for you to make things sound worse.. but not ok for you to make things sound better.. you make it sound right the first time. don't pull the tricks where you make yourself sound better with a computer because you sound like a dork. you just go out and sound like a dork. and say.. 'fuck you all. i need to urinate now.. please tell me where the bathroom is..' and you'lll arive to those awful urinals where the urinal cakes are gone and it smells like duck pee.

i've ordered my first vinyl record. it better not melt in the sun. or i'm going to have some pretty weird sounding stuff.

yeah. i don't get it too. my radio likes to have a bunch of static to it. i have to move the wires around because it's pickup some retarded electronic feedback type stuff with impedance or some crap with the current and induced something.. why didn't the just skip to the good stuff at uci?

ink blot tests.

i spilled my drink over my mouse pad. now my mouse pad has a stain on it. it looks like half of one of those ink blot tests. so how would a psychologist react to a patient saying.. 'that looks like an ink blot test.' during an ink blot test?

so the music i've been listening to has certain elements to it that make me hear things that aren't really there. i was almost certain somebody was outside revving up their car engine.. over and over and over again.. it's not there anymore though. because i paused my music to see if somebody was really out there doing that..

i'm pretty sure you could get some sort of sound type ink blot test going. sure.. by the end of it the patient would probably be throwing sinks against brick walls to break out.. but you'll know for sure that they're nuts.. and they're really strong.

that's mighty childish.

'... but decorations are wayy sexier.'

'what a horrible week to have a curse..' is what i would say if i had a curse.. the bad kind of curse. not like one of those... gris gris things i've been reading about. those work out a lot better. and if you're listening to gris gris or greg ashley.. well who cares if you're cursed. it's like listening to decorations.. totally sexy stuff.

i had a dream. and somebody was telling me to listen to a band called psychedelic horseshit. i mean.. i've seen them floating around. but i've never gave them a listen. but after that dream and a persuasive.. 'listen to psychedelic horseshit' by and individual in my dream.. i gave them a listen. and they're great. i should listen to my dreams more. like.. i should fear arnold schwarzenegger. and.. like sapphire blue spiders next to door knobs.. unless i have a ruler.

and spiders.. i was supposed to kill one. which i did. but i'm not sure if it's the same one i saw earlier. so i keep looking up around the top of the blinds.. because that's where the little fucker is hiding. i'm just glad it's one of those little ones. the big hairy ones are scary.

doo doo dooo dooo dooooo... i wish i could do that stuff better.

and one more thing. that's mighty childish.

vomiting.

i threw up this morning. and you'll say, 'just don't look in the mirror.' but no.. seriously.. vomiting is funny stuff.. unless you're doing it on purpose. then it's kind of gross.. but not if you vomit out a key you swallowed earlier to escape from a russian prison.. that's ok. just don't eat something you like beforehand.. you have no idea how many years i avoided cheese popcorn after a certain incident as a child..

i think i fixed my brain with that liquid substance.

gimme shelter.

i have good ideas sometimes. not always. but sometimes. usually my ideas are pretty awful. but there was this lego character next to my desk. dressed in black and stuff. i had the fantastic idea of coloring its neck with a sharpie. but yeah. it totally looks like lou reed now. well.. minus the hair, the shades, and the plus a pretty happy smile.

i should think out loud more.. half the time people will think i'm nuts.. but the other half will be pretty brilliant stuff. like 'we assume the frame to be rigid, so both deflections are the same.' that's the stuff that never leaves the squishy center of my head. and that was totally the right answer. i'm saying 'totally' a lot.

i feel like quoting something out of catcher in the rye.. but i'll probably end up looking like the guy who shot john lennon. but it's the one from the last couple lines of the book.. the one about missing everybody. and no.. i didn't shoot john lennon. he was my favorite beatle. what kind of asshole shoots john lennon? it's the same person who gets asked the question.. 'who died and made you king of the dicks?' and they'll probably have an answer like.. 'i shot john lennon.' dude.. john lennon wasn't the king of the dicks. it was that one guy who was in charge of the country called dicksville or something..

so i went back and looked at the poetry i wrote for my poetry class at uci.. and what a bunch of shit. but hey.. the one where i just let my mind wander about.. that one still holds up pretty well.. i was absolutely brilliant in that. the part where i have 'Later, please take me to the other side,/Where the grass is always greener./So i can steal a bit of green, to keep in a jar,/which i will keep to use on a tree.' my mind is very capable of very strange things. stuff i don't even know about.. and i can't make out what my professor wrote on them.. some crap about being from boston or something... poetry is even weirder than english.

the first time i heard guess i'm falling in love by the velvet underground.. i knew that's what i wanted to sound like... if i had the proper knowledge of how the guitar works... but any band that draws comparisons to the velvet underground is a pretty solid band.

i dropped my ritz crackers. ritz crackers are the best kind of crackers.. and the ones with vegetables in them are pretty awesome. but they're pretty salty for vegetables.

sure love is strange. all that stuff about hearts.. they pump blood.

with these headphones i hear stuff i've never heard before. and this is exactly why the audiophiles push for decent sound quality. i'm not one of them.. but it's pretty awesome to hear the stuff that's supposed to make up a song.

things looked blurry.. and then i remembered i wasn't wearing my glasses.. my spectacles. hello governor. fish and chips and petrol and the lift. and other englandish terms.


but ok... even with my glasses my vision is quite blurry.. i should probaly stop moving my head.

the '\' key is not the backspace key.

i'm using a mickey mouse cup made in spain. 'pau gasol!' says my dad.

and i feel absolutely fantastic. it's the magic of the liquid cure. brought to you by this colin oberst character in his song about landlocked blues.

the one things i'll always use from my writing 39B class.. 'times new roman looks like ass.'

and me under the influence can produce better writing than these retarded fobs.

the magic of turning the radio off. and listening to the sounds of nature. the conversations of individuals on their cell phones.. i'm sure they know i'm listening.. but they don't care if i hear them talking about some guy who can't say anything to anyone because that information will spread like some wild monkey virus... AIDS.

music does wonders to your current state. as well as the addition of certain outer sources of intoxication. while my mainline remains unfilled with more hazardous forms of intoxication... my body is currently under the influence of other intoxicants... which is much more enjoyable since i trust my livers to do its work.

yeah... i don't feel good.

74

make sure you sleep on your side or something so you don't choke on your own vomit. but only if you've done things that would be vomit inducing. i have a few examples. but parasites is probably the most entertaining one.

i got a 74 on my midterm. and i feel awful about it. so awful that it has bled into today and maybe even tomorrow to give me a strange bipolarish effect that i really can't handle. it's like.. this is fantastic.. and then holy shit. it's not fantastic. but then it is again.

rather than pills i'm trying a magical butter knife. to evenly spread things out.. i like bread.

the chills - kaleidoscope world

bootleg coffee sucks. kaleidoscope world, however, is much better. if it came in liquid form rather than audio form, i would be drinking it instead of this stuff that does nothing to keep me awake. well.. the part where it makes me want to pee keeps me awake.. but that comes later. i feel tired now.

zombie.

what's wrong with being a zombie?

you smell like fish.

lou reed's berlin and a band called ganglians.

i have scars from all the stupid stuff i've done. jumped down a set of stairs and didn't stick the landing like a gymnast would. rolled down a rather large hill on a skateboard and then rolled at the bottom of the hill without the skateboard after things got too 'real' for me with the speed wobble. and most recently diving behind a bush.. branches are sharp.

berlin is not about these scars. it's about other stuff. stuff that sounds good.

i stumbled upon the wonderfulness of this band called ganglians. and in the process of stumbling i stepped in a bear trap. but i'm not complaining about it. very enjoyable musics.

driving.

i forgot how to drive today for about 5 seconds. the light turned green and i just blanked. then i remembered that the right pedal makes the car go.

go dog go.

walls.

walls are weird.

sometimes they look like they're moving. but they aren't.