Presale Hearts: December 2008

You're going to vomit.

Saturday, May 14, 2005
studying part 2
Current mood: sad that i'm not living with oscar the grouch
so i'm doing my studying.. and my mom comes in and starts talking.. just random stuff as always.. and i forgot what she had to say as always. but i do remember what i said.. i don't know why.. but i said it. and it was great.

so, in chinese i said, "i went from the trashcan, to prison, to the triads, to being your son." of course you really need to know some stuff about me.. or else you won't get it.. which you probobaly don't.

my mom tends to tell me that she found me in a trashcan. and i might add that i twist her story saying she wanted to eat me because the chinese love eating babies. but she found me in a trashcan.. and i'm really not her son. then the prison and triad thing is really because i tend to say 'fuck' a lot in chinese and a bunch of other stupid stuff that my mom says i can only pick up in prison.. or from being in a triad. of course her way of saying it is, "people are going to think you're from prison and that you're uneducated."

then i started saying 'you learn all the bad stuff and never the good.' which she says a lot to me.. but then she started correcting me, because my chinese was incorrect and then i went on to explain that i was just improving it.. which i am.. and then she said forget it and keep studying which i did until it got really hot.. which is now.. but i've opened the windows so it's getting really cool like some kind of opened ice box full of ice and beer but the beer is gone because that fat drunk guy with the beard took all of it and drank it all and now he's running around in the parking lot without any pants screaming, "i put the pee in peace." because he's really drunk and has to pee but there's no bathroom so he's really really trying hard to hold it in but he's drunk so he really isn't and then the cops come to arrest him and he takes a whiz in their car... where do i get my ideas..
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studying.
i are study all week.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
i'm on it.. the drugs that is..
Current mood: moist
somebody's putting antidrugs in my food or something.. i'm all screwed up. i mean, something has to be wrong with you if you aren't dreaming about wierd crazy stuff or stuff that'll never happen. why the heck is my brain thinking about school? boring.. for some reason my brain thought it would be a great idea to dream about school.. what a stupid dork ass.

so i'm at home.. and, oh no! i'm late for my midterm. two of them! ohh no! some engineering one and a japanese one. and i have to ride my bike to irvine.. and it's really dark.. and the mexicans were heckling me. then i woke up.

what kind of antidrugs are you people giving me to dream of stuff like this. the closest thing to crazy was that i don't even own a bike.. or the fact that mexican hassle not heckle.. that part was pretty good.

what happened to my usual craziness of me being run down by our great governor schweinwartzenieneighnigger in a hummer. or the one where i couldn't walk so i swam through the air. now that's entertaining.

finished what i could of my study guide.. only because the teacher wants to be a slacker and not put up the rest of it. and cleaned up the room.. but i'm not done yet.. there's a big pile of trash in the middle of the room right now. and i'm also getting down on some of this country music. woo! paint me white and get my white bedsheets and overly startched night cap.. let's go burn some crosses and burn some black people.. but you can't really burn them because they're already black. but seriously, at the next klan meeting we'll be discussing how to achieve maximum starchiness in our hoods and how to get those bbq stains out of our white robes.. times have changed.

to the kkk: fuck you
Monday, May 16, 2005
you're a faker.. i mean fucker.. sorry.
Current mood: full of liquids
that poop that i flushed down the toilet this morning should be arriving at the irvine water.. reclaimation district.. is that what it's called? forget it.. it should be arriving to be treated for use in someone else toilet.. or in some kind of sprinkler system.. love those irvine purple pipes (that means i'm in the biz, you dig?).

of course the note i left myself was to take a piss before you go.. because the water stuff will get you going. so i did that.. and by the way that's also arriving there to be treated about now also.. but then i took another piss after the tour.. so.. i don't know where the extra liquids came from.

so i went on the 'field trip' to the water place. smelled like china half way through the tour.. you know, that sewage smell.. like some kind of rotten ass with a dirty hick cooking a possum on it.. that smell. wasn't paying attention half the time.. and the other half i wasn't listening.. so basic math would tell us that, 1/2 + 1/2 = 1. therefore the 1 time i was paying attention or listening i was watching the water do its stuff.

sure.. it doesn't make sense.. but if you're stupid it does. i need to put my mind to better use.. i wasted today. it's great. not really.. but fakely it's awesome.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
abcde = badec
um.. all i can really think about now is the name 'jermaine dupree.' i don't even know who this guy is but his stupid name is stuck in my head.

anthro was quite interesting today.. transexuals and the sort. the uni-boob thing was just brilliant. god is a funny guy.. but he sure is messed up pulling that kind of stuff. it's funny though..

i'm still waiting for the day i lose my overactive metabolism and become some type of human slug. anyone remember the old conan cartoons? i'll be kreevax. classic. none of that starmetal stuff will affect me.. if it's 'effect' and you want to correct me, shut up.. no proof-reading needs to be done here. this is the real stuff. it's fresh like warm manure. no chemicals added. 100% organic writing.

it's been getting hot lately. i only say lately because it looks like i misspelled recently.. right? well, forget about spelling too. maybe i should stop using the backspace key.. you now to cuonfuse the hell out of you people.

so first the day began at 8 with stupd e5 clsass.. which was relleally boring. something about sludedegdge being shit and stuff. i dont' know. then the math quiz. killed it with two l's. then anthro. but you already know aobuout half of the clss. the uni-boob is all you kneed to know. a...

now i'm tired. like a hws.. weheel.. as usual.. and i can't seem to type coherently.. i'm sure i misspelled that. and i'm not even sure if i'm spelling smisspelled right. but forget it. i need sleep.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
i'd be stupid not to say no.. or is it yes?
Current mood: no.. it's yes
what's with it being so hot? and what's with me being so tired.. you tell me.. because i don't know. nobody know's what happened yesterday.. and i really can't remember much of it. but you get two days for the price of one read.. that is unless you're distracted and end up reading this 3 times.. then you're just paying to much for the read.. and you shouldn't do it.

so i got some food ('chinese food' in case you're not chinese). and drank lots of kool-aid ('smiles' if you live with me).. and somebody's keys were involved in being locked in somebody's car.. it wasn't me.. it really wasn't this time. but i won't say who.. because i think he said he would kill me with one of those huge pieces of meat that rocky used to train. now back to the matter of locking keys in the car.. i've done it three times. top that stupid.. it could've been four. but it wasn't me yesterday.

today was just as forgetful as yesterday was.. nothing much.. just another hot day.. but without the makeup it really wasn't much to look at.

??zoom~!
Saturday, May 21, 2005
i eat tofu. does that make me a beaner?
Current mood: yo soy!
e5 paper is done.. though it seems like a pretty bad paper. although that's what i thought when i was in writing and i did fine.. stupid uci.. stupid chinese writers.

i'm out of ideas. and i don't even remember if i wrote stuff yesterday. but if i did i'm sure it was full of pink dogs being chased by a giant green elephant with a top hat.. no? really? hm..

it's hot. the little mexican kids don't shut up. they're having some sort of siesta.. or.. um.. i mean fiesta.. because they won't shut up. but there wern't any guns fired toward the sky.. so i guess they weren't mexican.. why did the chicken cross the road? because the little mexicans wouldn't shut up.. and they needed pollo for the fiesta.

time for a siesta. and i don't know what 'yo soy' means.. so it would be nice if somebody told me. unless you're going to say something about tofu.. then don't.. beucause that's what i'm thinking right now. making tofu is a very interesting process no?
Sunday, May 22, 2005
i'm not potable. like the water.
Current mood: i feel like throwing up
i had a really awesome dream last night.. but i forgot what it was really about.. it was either somebody was chasing me to kill me or beat me or jack some stuff from me.. or it was someone else that was going to get killed, beated, or jacked. and by the way.. it's not beaten anymore.. if you say beaten you're backwards. if you say children and not childs.. you're also backwards. get with the program.

if i do happen to remember what i dreamed.. i'll write about it later.. but i have other stuff to do now.. like clean the stupid turtle who doesn't stop eating his own shit.. my turtle's mexican.. but that doesn't mean mexicans eat shit.. their food is actually quite nice. taco taco. frijoles (pronounced freedgols). make me the mexican ambassador.. i'll contaminate the water the way my turtle does.
Monday, May 23, 2005
funny for the tummy
Current mood: not touched.
so there's these two pirates. and one of them has a steering wheel attatched to his belt buckle. so.. the other asks, "argh, what that steering wheel be?" and the other says, "argh, it's driving me nuts."

whoever thought of that is brilliant. but if you don't get it.. maybe you need to see it.. watch robot chicken. if you still don't get it you're stupid.. or some nerd that only laughs at stupid nerd stuff.. like if i say han solo was frozen in carbon instead of carbonate or ite.. or whatever that junk was called.

and going through the moods.. i saw 'touched.' it took me a while to realize that it didn't mean physically.. but the other one.. although i'm not quite sure which one i'm referring to.

bon jour.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
donald duck.
Current mood: i put the grrr in grrrouch
"why don't you pick on somebody your own size.. you big boob!" - donald duck.

you really don't know what he's saying.. but that's what it sounded like. it was from the museum of modern inventions cartoon.. probably the best one that i can remember. there's this robot that keeps jacking donald's hat.. and all sorts of crap happens to him. but the real good stuff is in this mickey mouse cartoon when he meets his cousin or some dick rat.

so the dick rat says "do you want that button?" pointing at one of mickey's buttons on his pants. and mickey says, "yes" in that high pitched voice of his.. so dick rat pulls the button off.. and sticks it in mickey's hand and says, 'well there ya go!' then he says, 'do you want that button?' so mickey wises up and says, 'no.' so dick rat pulls the button off and throws it away. greatest trick in the book if there ever was a book with tricks in it.. this dick rat breed is really clever. not like the normal rat breed who eats the chicken i leave out but not the peanuts that are stuck on a trap.. phil says hi.. he likes rats.

if you like mickey better you're retarded. donald duck is the best. and if you like goofy.. then you're some type of super retard who likes other retards.. especially ones with extra retarded names. if they stuck with the original name 'dippy dog' then that's another story.. but they didn't stick with it so we don't need to worry about that.
Friday, May 27, 2005
nordic fest 2005
Current mood: garbanzo beans
well.. now i know why those cds were so cheap.. they smell. like ginger and plastic and ass.. and if you tweak ginger you get a special word.. but that's not what the cds smell like.
what's the latest craze here? why it's pokemon snap. best $3 we've ever spent. who would've thought that taking pictures of a bunch of mutated animals would be so fun.. of course since i don't remember most of the names it's a lot funner. like that little penis looking one that i thought was called dolemite.. but it turned out to be diglet or something gay like that. it's exciting. you can't go 2 seconds without screaming, 'get that fucker!' or 'got that fucker!' or 'oh, he got fucked up..'
it would appear that monday would be the annual chili cookoff here.. and did i say monday? well.. i didn't. you just can't read. it's tuesday dummy. tuesday will the the 9th annual 'hot in the pot' chili cookoff.. but we already know the winner.. me.. because nobody else has entered. but the real winner here will be whoever doesn't eat the chili.. because it'll probably make you get really sick and poop some sort of worm.. which you will later find out is your small intestine.. which means either your large intestine has vanished.. or your intestine has imploded and your small and large intestines are caught in one of those snake eating its tail things.
to all my white supremecist friends. see you at nordic fest 2005 and you're all a bunch of fuckers. www.kkkk.net/nf05.htm

and for those of you who are stupid.. i don't have white supremecist friends. unless you count phil as one. but then you'd be wrong because the guy is black as coffee.. and i guess that really depends on how you like your coffee.. but none of that frech vanilla stuff.. you're an american.. you use freedom vanilla.
home for the weekend.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
congratulations!
Current mood: nevermind
i'm not sure if that was a dream or a nightmare yesterday.. but i do know it was damn entertaining.
and it would appear that i missed nordic fest. well.. good thing i don't have a camera to take pictures of not going.. because that would be boring. and you know me.. boredom is like opium.. it makes you all lazy. so here's some stuff that i pulled out of my ass.. if you want the other stuff you'll have to wait.. pulling that stuff out can't be good for you.
i wore some bed sheets and a klansman's hood to get in. but since i forgot gloves people began to wonder why i had this so called 'yellow skin.' so one white guy who looked a lot like my junior high school principal asked me, 'why your them skins be that there color from yeller?' so i replied 'darn tootin' brother. the only thing yeller bout me is the belly on you.' i had no idea what that meant.. but it sounded right. that's when i broke a bottle and stabbed him. and he cried. and he ran all the way home to his white family to show him his red blood.. which in turn made them pour bleach on him to whiten his blood.. like that superior white blood they keep hearing about. it turns out that the bleach sort of blinded the guy.. so now this racist can't see a thing. it's sort of ironic in a way.. in what way i'll leave that up to you.
my grandma is the best.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
postponed due to rain
Current mood: i forgot to feed my turtle
so 'hot in the pot' 2005 was postponed due to rain.. and the fact that it's tuesday and you get deals on tuesday. mainly from del taco where you get 3 stale tacos for 99 cents. aren't mexicans fantastic?
so here's what's going to go 'down' or maybe even up if you feel that way. chili will be made tomorrow. rain or shine or even if the mongolians invade.. but the wall should take care of that. as it has been.
this movie game that we got going.. 'scene it' i think it's called.. is just awesomely fantasteriffic. i don't know my movies.. but when you get a question about back to the future.. it's a good game.
p.s. jesus loves you
p.p.s. it's hot
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
happy smiles and moonpie and forks with pins.
Current mood: fantersupemazing!
due to my great amount of greatness i closed the window which contained some writing for this junk. annd due to my great amount of laziness... i'm not re-writing it. that's moot for you. moot indeed.
i won the cookoff.. and bribed the judges..
Thursday, June 02, 2005
do not read.
Current mood: poko-poko-poko!
aren't you the rebellious one.. reading something that's labeled.. 'do not read.' for shame.
so here's what i learned from playing halo 2. rushing in is a good way to get yourself killed.. or scare the crap out of other people.. or confuse the shit out of them.. either way they're going to have a mess on their hands or in their pants to clean. nerds are very interesting animals.
rule #661: be sure to wear lots of garlic and carry a cross at all times. and a bit of holy water and a whip will help out a lot too. you can make dracula your bitch.. or if he bites you then you're his bitch.. and you're dead.
rule #1011: pants is spelled with a pan and t and s. but has nothing to do with t.s. elliot.. why i remember that name i don't know.
my head is full of rules like that. that's why i'm sooooo rad. shame!
Saturday, June 04, 2005
HA Ha Ha HA!
Current mood: like a kite
so i was like, "hey mom. can i laugh like this, 'HA HA HA HA!'" i was really trying to imitate some evil laugh.. but sort of got one of those unibrow top hat wearing evil guy's laugh.. but it worked because my mom said no.. because i'd sound like a bad guy. that just forced me to ask her if she was reading her newspaper.. and she replied yes.. so i stole it and ran.
i'm going to watch back to the future now.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
oh. rgiht.
Current mood: still cough. coughing.
oh right.. i went to pick up some stuff from my mom yesterday.. mainly my belt which i forgot at home. and i got some other stuff. including those damn brain oranges. she tells me to stick all of it in the refrigerator.. you know. so it doesn't turn gross. and i act stupid and ask her if i should put the belt in the refrigerator too.. she then quickly replied. 'the belt goes on your pants.' why and how my mom puts up with me i'll never know.. i'm surprised i didn't get tossed in a trashcan a long time ago.. or tossed in the woods to live with some wolves. thanks mom.. i could be terrorizing campers right now.
yesterday we went to chili's for phillip's late birthday dinner. and. i'm sure the waiters hate us now. phil wanted the fajitas.. so.. if you know me.. you know how i like to pronounce that stuff.. i got some chipotle thing.. and messed with the way that's said.. so here's what i said to the waitress. 'um.. yeah. can i have the chicken mushroom fadjaitas and a chipotl (pronounced chi-pot-l) something burger..' and some other stuff.. we got out laughs and giggles in.. and about 3 minutes later she comes back and says 'ok guys i'm going on break. this will be your new waiter. have fun.' showed her.
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the, pronounced 'the,' willowz
Current mood: cough.
if you're reading this.. stop. and go to the itunes store thing and type in. 'the willowz' and buy the stuff.. in fact.. go to some garden store and pick up some willowz there too. and then go to hollywood and give willow ufgood the finger.. little people are funny. then you can pick up the newest rollingstones magazine and read the review.. and if you can't read. have someone read it to you. and if you're deaf learn to read. and if you're blind and deaf.. get that one person who did that 'miracle worker' thing to help you. or become a computer and learn your 0's and 1's.
i forgot about the oranges. oranges are going to take over the world. i opened one up this morning and there was this huge brain.. i ate it.. so i stopped one. but didn't have enough room to stop another from taking over the world.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
about time.
Current mood: it's a kick in the knickers
i will be writing about time. not 'about time.' but about time. not like.. 'it's about time i'm writing something again..' but.. like..
finals are finished. school is done.. medium rare.. but i'll have the waiter take it back and make it well. and i'll say, 'thanks. you're fanntastic. with two n's.' grades don't come out until tomorrow.. at 8PM because UCI is full of slackers. i could curse up a storm about how stupid UCI is.. but i'm sure a lot of you don't like the rain. and the sun would just burn up my little storm. and did i mention that it's extremememememememly hot lately? i've been lactating in the form of sweat. the doctor said i'd be fine and it's normal.. but i don't know.. he's japanese..
long story short.. i've been kicked out of UCI's engineering because of a 1.9 GPA. and the counselors are a bunch of fuckers who don't know what the hell is going on.. so yeah. i could stay and change majors.. but i'm sick and tired of seeing you all. and i can't take the randomness of other majors. if you have any reason that i should stay.. too late. and it's rather difficult to get me to change my mind.. you'd have to cut open my head.. find a brain to switch with mine.. and believe me, whoever gets my brain is going to be messed up.. then you have to stick everything in the right spot and make sure my heart and lungs are hooked up to el part of brain that makes those work.. then you have to clean up all that blood.. and if you don't like blood it's going to be really really hard for you to do.. and finding some vampire cleaner isn't going to be easy either. so. let's just not try to change my mind. i like it how it is.
Monday, July 04, 2005
totally awesome. tubular. radical. far out. reaganomics!
Current mood: yes. nelson has the current moods.
seeing as how i seem to have all the time in the world.. even yours. and even that little chinese kid who's making some nikes. i've decided to put my time catcher on the market. however, the fcc said everyone having one of these devices would clog up the airwaves leaving us with no tv and radio and we'd probably all melt due to the large amounts of microwaves traveling around the world.. so i scrapped the time catcher deal.. and for some reason i still have a whole lot of time.. we can thank albert einstein and his theory of relativity for that.. and maybe even give a little credit to that french guy who did something along those lines. to the .01% of you who actually get this.. you're probably not reading this.
i have the jury duty tomorrow. at 8 AM. but since most of you won't be reading this till tomorrow i'll have jury duty today. but since today will be yesterday tomorrow and since tomorrow to most of you is today.. i'll be stuck in time and won't make it..
... and that's why you don't let me sit on my ass and have a back to the future marathon. great scott! this is heavy doc! oh.. and about this july 4th thing.. um... i seem to have forgotten to run around waving the american flag screaming 'USA! USA! USA! USA! U! S! A!' and for some reason nasa has decided to send one of their probes at a comet to let it blow up... let the probe blow up.. not the comet.. USA! USA!
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
jury duty.
Current mood: current
so here's what happened. i stepped in and let everyone know.. "i've served on 6 juries before. and i did my job as a juror. 6 convictions!" is what i said. and some guy decided to say, 'it's not your job as a juror to just convict.' and i said 'fuck you man. you're old.' and a fight broke out.. and in the end i was sent home after about 8 hours of sitting on my ass. fanntastic. the extra 'n' is for the news that i memorized in those 8 hours of watching it. it seems like the major story today.. which they wouldn't shut up about.. was about that little girl who was kidnapped and found at some denny's with a pedophile. and they don't know if the brother is dead or alive but we all hope he's alive and that this stupid pedophile goes to jail.. so some scary black guy will call him mary and make him his bitch. and about the jail thing.. martha stewart's nickname in jail was 'm. diddy' i don't know why.. that's just what the news said.
so i spent my day in some crappy room with a bunch of old people.. the stupid city owes my a day. so i can waste. i don't want people telling me how to waste my time. i want to do it.. all i did there was read that stupid stephen hawking book (which is like reading a simplified version of my physics book.. which is stupid because i read the stuff already) and listened to the willowz, pink floyd, and audio karate over and over again. time well spent? no.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
bookstore a go go.
Current mood: power/voltage = current
so i kicked the door down. and then you heard a POW! pow pow POwPWOPWOPPWWPWOWOWOWP! and then i bought my stupid summer school book at el cypress college.. with a solutions manual. for some reason uci doesn't sell the solutions manual.. so if you're still at uci and taking retard physics.. i got the answers.. but i don't think anybody i know is taking retard physics.. because either you're done with retard physics or.. you're not taking it. oh. and it's the solution manual for retard physics.. not that super retard physics uci also offers.
if you're bored.. go ahead and call: (760) 723 - 8996. and let them know that their website: www.resist.com is fantastic. and after that tell them you're chinese or black or mexican or english or something..
here's a good one from the site:
how do you know if a chink robbed your house?
your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, but two hours later the chink is still trying to back out of your driveway!
you got that right white man! fuckers don't even get it. if that's what robbing someone is now then someone needs to come over and rob my house right now. my computer is acting up. and they also go on and list the top 10 reasons why black people aren't in NASCAR.. don't need to say much about that one..
if you want to up your racism level for some reason. www.resist.com is the place to go. and if you really are racist.. fuck you.
sending them hate mail or junk like that isn't going to do much.. these people are nuts.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
toot toot.
Current mood: it's heavy.
if you can talk some sense into me.. please do. if my mind starts to wander while you're talking.. then you're not doing your job. better luck next time.. whenever this may happen.
and so begins my sorting of the music on my computer.. all 2500+ songs and stuff. yeah.. you're probably saying that i'm stupid for having so much. well beans and frijoles for you. it's fanntastic.. and that's with two n's. because it's that good. but it's going to be a bitch to sort them.. if the ramones did it it'd be done in about 2 hours.. but they aren't around.. and i need them sorted. not played.
'horse's ass.'
well.. i thought i'd never say this twice in one sitting but, 'horse's ass'
where's that from? you should know dummy.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
el ferns
Current mood: fluck
seeing as how i seem to have so much time.. and i'm also entitled to 1nd a free shirt.. i got creative. my computer is acting up yet again.. so if you haven't seen it.. here it is.. and fluck! www.theferns.tk is what i forgot. fluck!

somehow without drugs my mind makes this stuff.. which is why you probably shouldn't get me on drugs. a cigarette is playing the keyboards! woah!
el summer school stars tomorrow. my computer needs more memory.. and it better use it on good stuff. unlike me who wastes it on remembering stupid stuff like.. don't lock the stupid keys in the stupid car if your car breaks down in compton. and remember to call dr. dre 'dr. dre' and not 'mr. dre.' he has that phd for a reason.. that reason being so people can call him doctor.
Monday, July 11, 2005
free!
Current mood: not so fishy
free small chinese child with purchase of large chinese child combo.
i forgot to mention the stupid vending machine that made me use a stupid dollar because it didn't want to make change from 75 cents. the end result was some juicy fruit.. which wasn't so juicy because i had 40 cents left over.. you know i don't like change.
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happy independence day Niger
Current mood: fishy
today marks the death of alexander hamilton.. who is known for appearing in one of the first 'got milk?' commercials as the man who lost a duel to aaron burr.
i'm in a class full of retards and people who want to be nerds.. but they just can't do it because they're so stupid. it's not that i don't like these people.. i actually enjoy having them in my class.. but this one person likes to think outloud.. and if i know me.. which i do. i'm going to want her to shut up in about 2 weeks.
of course the best part of it all was when the counselor told me 'i'm going to help you get back on track.' which caused me to say 'fuck you. i was never on crack.' and i punched him in the neck and said 'mother fucker'.. and then came the lawsuit..
i need to buy some fish accessories and fish for the fish tank.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
find the 'hight'
Current mood: pink. like pink floyd.
perhaps i've been listening to a little bit too much pink floyd.. that's probably why my brain is acting like a retard. or maybe it's the large amounts of physics i'm putting into it. it's pushing other stuff out. it's like that time i learned how to fly.. but then forgot how to land.. so then i fell and forgot how to fly but remembered how to land. good stuff. i should listen to some 2pac. because he's a genius.
my physics teacher would like to know your 'hight'
Friday, July 15, 2005
no cheating.
Current mood: cheerio.
in order to please that one girl's mormon god. please don't cheat. she got really huffy when me and this korean guy were cheating on the lab. it wasn't even real cheating.. we did the work. and we didn't get caught. but oh well.. screw her. perhaps i should apologize for cheating by offering her a coke.. and when she says she can't drink that i'll say. 'don't worry. i thought about this ahead of time..' and i'll pull out a pepsi. so yeah. i know you've already cheated by highlighting the text.. so you should probably do the same thing and offer a mormon a coke or pepsi.. because nothing says i'm sorry like cola. and please take my 10 hours of physics and donate them to that drug dealer who needs to do community service for smashing a 40 on his best friend's head.. i've also changed my name to george clinton. because i'm black and full of funk. and i smoke a lot of crack. from monday i've put in about 45 hours of physics. so don't fuck with me. i'll draw vectors around you then push you off a cliff.. then calculate the time it takes for you to fall down that cliff (without air resistance).. then run down and catch you by countering your force which will be equal to your mass times g. then you'll thank me for saving your life by giving me $5. which i will spend on some type of candy. so if you don't want to go through with this ordeal.. or you don't want to lose $5 for the saving the life thing.. i suggest you run away when you see me drawing a bunch of arrows around you.. those will be the vectors. couple days ago i thought i felt my metabolism working.. it was great. but not as great as getting a whole bunch of plastic tree.. 15 hours of it to be close. not exact. and if you still haven't gone blind. congratulations. or i'll see you in hell for cheating. that negro-ish color doesn't make you blind.. and it's really really good at sports. unless you're talking about hockey. all this asian color is good for is being yellow. nothing but a bright ass color.. if your ass is for some reason yellow.. do a better job wiping. and maybe change your diet.and you should probably see a doctor if your crap is going all over your ass.. if it's naturally bright yellow like a highlighter, i envy you. and go moon somebody.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
cereal killer. no more cheerios for you.
Current mood: i know it's serial.
so i have this physics quiz today.. which is going to get killed by me. so if you see me on the news for murder don't be shocked.. because i already told you it was going to happen. the teacher is giving us a bit more than 2 hours to do 6 problems.. that means i get to leave about 2 hours early. supertastic!
i called up prince albert and invited him over for tea and crumpets.. it didn't go well.
oh. the new harry potter book is out. great. more kids will be going nuts like this 9 year old kid..
'i was so interested in this book i couldn't stop reading it. the book is about a boy, harry potter, and a triwizard tournament. he does not put his name in the goblet of fire but ends up getting picked to be in the tournament anyway. harry, ron, and hermione have to find out who put harry's name in the goblet. to find out who wins the tournament and who put his name in the goblet, read this book!'
i’m sure the book is great.. but do you see what it's doing to the children? this little bitch thinks he can tell me all that crap and then make me look in the damn book for the answer.. and he pretty much ruined a good portion of the book for me. if he were older i'd tell him. 'hey you little fucker. fuck you and keep your damn ideas to yourself.' and then i'd steal his candy.. but then he'd tell his mom.. and the mom would yell at me and make me feel bad. so i probably won't do it. screw harry potter and his super flavor jumping mexican jelly beans and chocolate filled chocolate toad ass.
it's not that i don't like harry potter.. but it's making some people go nuts.
Monday, July 18, 2005
or something like it.
Current mood: zzzz* raaaah!
i'm dying. or i'm just tired. or i have cancer of the self. fixing the super mobile today. so that it can go nuts with the power steering and broken speedometer. also reinstalling the flux capacitor.. but still need to find something more cost efficient that will produce 1.1 Gwatts. touche.
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wizzed. with a k.
Current mood: noodles.
um.. about that killing.. what i thought was going to be like.. me going in rambo style and shooting the hell out of some physics problems.. turned out to be more of a stab in the ass for the physics problems.. so i don't know.. they have two holes in their ass now. this only happened because the teacher put on some wierd stuff.. that i think i got right but i'm not sure.. mainly the ratio of times thing.. and the one about the po-po being 25m behind you. but i did finish first.. with about 40 minutes to spare. so those stupid nerds can take that and smoke it in their nerd pipes.
what's great is that i thought i was going to finish in 30 minutes.. but what i forgot was at uci.. it takes me 15-30 minutes to do a two question quiz. so.. i was stupid and forgot about this quiz being 6 questions.. that and i tend to spend a lot of time during test staring at the paper and thinking 'what the hell is that?' of course today i was thinking that i really had to pee.. and all my fidgeting probably distracted the other people so it all worked out..
test taking tip #904: make yourself really hungry. that way your growling stomach will distract the hell out of the people next to you.. giving you the slight edge you need to beat them. either that or fart.. a lot.
that piss was great.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
king me.
Current mood: checkmate.
i should be king. king of all the stupid people.. because i'm the stupidest of them all.. well.. it's either i'm stupid or something's wrong with you.
note to self: don't fall asleep in class.
we watched some video in class.. the same one's i saw in high school.. and.. it just happened to be the one that made me laugh for the whole period in high school.. so i had the giggles today.. the shits part was already done.
mr. bush and i are going to see the wizard of oz. because he needs a brain. and i need.. something to help me focus. or maybe a lot of money. one of those would probably do me some good. but yeah.. i try not to focus too much.. mainly because i think my brain will explode and spew out of my ears and nose.. and then i'll have to drink up the brain juice to regain the knowledge i lost.
note to self: set alarm.. and don't fall asleep in class.. or the russian or iranian teacher will stick you in a rocket. and send you deep into the heart of the sun.. where you will see a phoenix.. and you ask, 'hey, weren't you in that cartoon called conan?' and then you'll toss a.. pono.. pomo.. spelling please.. pomegranate.. but when that happens you'll burn up.. because the days are sooooooo hot. like some kind of an oven used for making bread.. or what the mexicans like to call 'pan'
as king i'd also like to say that baseball is boring.. and living on earth is like cheating for when you go live on the moon.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
top o' the mornin' to ya..
Current mood: my eyes are sour
...and the rest of the day to you too.
i'm tired.. like a wheel. somebody needs to invent some kind of wake up device.. i mean. in the future they have sleep rays.. so why not make a wake up ray? i'll get cracking on it as soon as i'm done with this.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
done. finished. complete.
Current mood: cobralalalallalalala! La!
my wake up ray is complete. or finished. or done medium rare. however you want to say it.. it's great and it works. patent pending.. so don't steal my ideas.. or go ahead if you want to look really stupid.. you know you do.
introducing the wake up ray! it's pretty much a gun.. but this is just the prototype. it basically shoots you if you don't get up. so you can sleep in that extra 5 minutes.. and risk being shot. or you can get up.. and wake up. and if you're still not awake because you 'haven't had your coffee' take the gun and shoot yourself in the ass.. that'll wake you up. or don't do that.. because then you won't be able to sit. and you'll probably have to eat a bunch of ice-cream like forrest gump did.
i think i felt one of my brain cells die today.. i'll make a new one later.. out of leather. or maybe.. no. better not.
did you see the new supreme court guy? he worships satan. and he's the reason why you're so depressed. now that's some damn good slander. i've never been a big fan of the supreme court.. nothing like the taco supreme at taco bell. with the supreme court.. you get a bunch of old people.. who do wierd sick things according to family guy. with the taco supreme you get a taco.. and tomatos. and sour cream. super-dee-duper! but for the amount of extra cents.. it really isn't worth it..
now back to this guy.. my biggest problem with him is that he opposed saving an endangered species because it only existed in california and killing it off wouldn't matter.. just like killing everyone in texas won't matter because they're in texas.. and killing them wouldn't be a problem for me.. i don't even know the guys name and i think he's an ass.. and that species happened to be some kind of a frog.. and frogs are very entertaining. without frogs where would the WB network be?
Thursday, July 21, 2005
lab due monday. quiz thursday. chapter 5-8.
Current mood: upset.. because i can't smoke opium.
my eyes have fallen out of their sockets and onto the floor. and i can see my extra toe.. and it looks wierd. extremely wierd. what's with all you people saying it's cool? it's damn wierd. i have an extra toe. it's not cool.. my stupid shoe came apart at the seams because the stupid extra toe is so MASSIVE.. like truckasaurus would be. stop saying it's cool. or 'kewl.' if you're a dork. i need to find somebody that'll look.. and say 'dude what the fuck is that!? it looks like an ass instead of a toe.. and there's nails growing on it.. ewwwww. you're fucked up man. fucked. i mean.. i've seen gross before but.. god.. do you got a bag? i think i'm going to throw up.. god.. shouldn't have had that six dollar burger for lunch.. uugh..' or at least.. 'what the hell is that?' stop lying.
my mom says i can't smoke opium because it's too expensive.. but she really never said 'no' when i asked about crack.
when i was about 8 or something.. me and my brother ate a lot of cheese popcorn in one sitting.. and about an hour later.. one of us.. i can't remember who.. threw up.. which made me or him throw up.. so now i think cheese popcorn is really fun to eat.. although.. when i threw up an egg mcmuffin.. i don't remember when.. i didn't find that as funny.. and i really didn't have a liking toward egg mcmuffins after that.. don't tell me that stuffs psychological.. because i'm nuts. probably like a peanut.
go see the fersn.. although that name change might not swing with them.. so go see the ferns. and make sure you yell 'foo! foo!' a lot.. so when they ask, 'are you guys saying 'foo' or foo-erns?'' you guys can scream that stuff even louder and angrier.. and i can say. 'i was saying foo-erns...'
and back to the extra toe thing.. i actually enjoy it. it makes me that much more unique than you.. my fingers are thissssss clossssse. i've become a snake. you can call me slithers.. but then some people will start calling me sthithers.. because they're stupid.. so i better revert back to human form.. i'm all over the reverts. it's revert madness.
Friday, July 22, 2005
L.A.M.F
Current mood: lamf
so i tested the water in my fish tank today. and.. it looks like i need to work on fixing up the water. it seems like everything tested landed under 'danger' or 'unsafe' or 'are you trying to kill your fish?' so. in order to save my fish from ass water and the little chinese voice in my head that says 'eat your fish. they're terrific!' i'm going to fix up the water. and if i know my chemistry.. which i don't.. the remaining 6 fish won't die.. and everybody will be happy.. except for the mainland china part of me that wants to eat them.
i need some new music to listen to. seeing as how about 60% of the people i listen to are dead or not making music anymore.. and the other 40% either don't have the money or the time or the stupid CD costs an arm and a leg and about $40.. that.. umm.. where am i going with this? oh. yeah. forget about getting me new music to listen to. i know this one guy who listened to green day's american idiot for about 15 weeks straight. help him out first.. i suggest helping with a bat. or smash a bottle over his head.
newspaper says that the UC system will be increasing costs or something by 7%.
i'm putting my ideas on paper.. and in the form of 0's and 1's. if it all comes to fruition.. we'll all have fruit to eat. and some stupid stuff to look at like a mother fucker.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
sure.
Current mood: like toast. with jam.
i believe that every person in the world should own a gun. that way.. there would never be any shooting.. because the second you pull your gun out.. every single person will be pointing a gun at someone else.. so you'll be pointing a gun at a person.. who's pointing a gun at somebody else.. who's pointing a gun at that other guy.. who's pointing a gun at fidel castro.. who just so happens to be pointing a gun at me.. but i also have my gun pointed at him.. and of course.. if john woo has taught us anything.. besides the fact that holding your gun sideways makes you look cool.. nobody will shoot. because nobody really wants to die. and yes.. i'm holding my gun sideways.
Sunday, July 24, 2005
it happened to me 4 years ago.. and 2 years ago..
Current mood: pants :?
lying is easy.. it's getting people to believe you that's hard. like.. if i said i was related to chairman mao.. who the heck is going to believe that? i did...
why aren't my fish anemic?
today's chinese lesson: 'long time no see.' and 'can't see good beer.' sound alike.. which makes it extremely difficult to communicate with people you haven't seen in a while. they won't know if you're talking about them.. or some beer that's vanished.
it seems like my imagination would like to run wild. but i just don't have the knowledge or the right tools to let it do so. so... soo... so.. in the mean time. i've decided to allow my imagination roam around freely in the backyard much like those free range imaginations you hear so much about.
i'm going to have a physics quiz thursday.. so if you're psychic.. make sure i pay attention in class and don't let my mind wander.
song for your head.
dir en grey - jessica
the ferns - black tongue
song for your ears.
pink floyd - echoes
song for your self.
x japan - blue blood
and if you're psychic you should probably work on getting songs like these out of my head.. mainly jessica.. which seems to find it's way into my head a lot.. what's its problem?
Monday, July 25, 2005
feeling fine.
Current mood: fine.
all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. are you. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. really. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. reading. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. this? all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.
all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.
all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.
all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.
all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.
all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.
all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.
all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.
all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.
all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.
all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.
all work and no play makes jack a dull boy.

you're shining! look at you! not you.. the sun. the sun told me that it only has a billion years to live.. so it needs to start living each day to the fullest. meaning we get our asses burned. but at least the sun will be happy.
by the way.. those twins are creepy.
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memo.
Current mood: moxy. gumption. kapow!
dear brain.
please work on making better dreams.
your supervisor,
nelson pi

my brain has gotten lazy. i dreamed about washing my car for some reason.. probably because it needs washing.. but it wasn't just washing.. i was washing it with bars of soap.. and i had to do it fast before somebody saw because it was some kind of prank i was pulling.. possibly on myself. i'm going to go ahead and blame the heat.. or the lack of drugs.. or some drugs i don't know i'm doing.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
why oranges grow on trees.
Current mood: blonde hair. blue eyes. SUPERIOR!
i sat around in class again.. zoned out again.. but this time when i came to, the teacher was talking about the same thing. he's like a stupid circle or something. just blah blah blah blah blah.. over and over again. no begining and no end.. so while he was doing that i was watching a cigarette dance in my head. it was dead.. and then i lit it up. then it started dancing because i gave it life. that was entertaining.
and it looks like the brain got the memo because last night's dream was great. tiger woods and some english guy were playing golf. and i was in charge of keeping 'the green' nice. but the green turned out to be a sand trap. so they were putting in sand.. and that just didn't work. so tiger and i went to a japanese market. he got a energy drink or something.. but the store wouldn't sell me some of those wasabi things for some reason.. good job brain.
what does that dream mean? japs are evil and don't want chinese kids buying wasabi.. because i'll eat it all at once and cry and get that wierd feeling in my nose.
i also went to see another counselor today. 'alice payne.' and we're getting the ac fixed today.. and the brandname happens to be 'payne.' and i also happen to have a pain in my shoulder.. from smashing it through a window pane. what does all this mean? jesus loves you.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
white out
Current mood: light headed.
can you even call it white out now? you can't even sniff it and get light headed and see giant pink elephants run around in an infinite limbo.
so i sat in class for about 3 hours.. not getting what the teacher was doing. something about energy and work and forces.. i didn't know what was going on.. then after 3 hours i understood what was going on. pro-style understanding too. the sum of all the work done will equal the change in kinetic energy. work = force x distance. so i don't know what was going on in my head during those 3 hours.. that bastard bluto must've been up to his old tricks.. he was probably holding that nerd in my brain who does all of my work in some kind of a cage.. to sum it all up. i listened to the ramones and bluto let the nerd out.. and i understood my physics. so.. listen to the ramones. they'll help free the nerd in your brain.
towards the end of class i couldn't stop thinking about this one time in 5th grade.. when during recess i told some kid, 'hahaha.. asshole!' only to have one of those security ladies tell me, 'heyyyy.. you can't say that.. don't say that. that's not nice.' had she known what was going on i'm sure she would've understood why i used such language.. the fucker probably stole my ball or he was on the swing too long.. all i know is he deserved it.. and it was probably phil so you know he deserved it. i had another case of the giggles because of this.. hopefully nobody noticed.. because i'd look like an ass laughing at some math equations..
and along the lines of music.. i was listening to some switchfoot.. and i've decided to become christian. just like people who listen to 2pac want to shoot the popo. i was also pulled over today by the popo for some unknown reason. so i pulled over to the side.. rolled down my window. and said, 'fuck the po-lice' and floored it.. unfortunately.. i was in park.. so... they gave me the second degree.. or the third. i don't even know what that means.. so don't pay attention to that.. they then rammed my car giving me whiplash.. i haven't seen a cop that crooked since that time i saw one with rickets. zoom! rickets are funny.
and no. i wasn't listening to switchfoot.. but everything else is true. especially the part about me being christian and voting for george bush and donating all my money to the churches so they can buy a bunch of bibles for the starving africans.. who really really need some food.. and not bibles.. yep. that's me... it's not that christians are bad.. they're actually really good people. but some of them are stupid. keyword is 'some.' don't get angry. i know how people like to get angry.. i'm talking to you bruce banner.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
'throwing up' isn't the opposite of 'throwing down'
Current mood: not as dizzy as when i started writing this.
i feel extremely dizzy for some reason. like there's a centrifuge in my head. which is why i'm listening to plastic tree.. to make it spin faster so i throw up. i think it's working.. and it's not a good feeling so i should probably stop. i'm going to blame that twinkie i ate. and the almost expired milk i had.
things i need to do:
1. kill hitler's clone (if hitler hasn't been cloned go to #5)
2. join the kkk and ruin their reputation by being chinese and a member of the kkk
3. kill hitler's 2nd clone
4. kill the people who are cloning hitler
5. buy some fish

i feel really. really. really sick. that's twice as extreme as my usual 'i feel sick' saying.. and like i said before.. i feel like throwing up. but you've all heard that one so much that when i finally do throw up you're all going to say 'took you long enough.. retard..' and then you're going throw up.. because throwing up has that domino effect thing that goes along with it.
i just killed a mosquito. and i'm sure it was a mosquito because it was small. those giant mosquito-like things aren't mosquitos.. they're 'crane flies' so please don't kill them. unless you don't like insects.. then by all means kill it. or run away from it.. i'm not going to tell you how to deal with your fears.
i've discovered a new unit of power. whale power. much better than horse power. 'how much whale power you got under the hood?' then i'll say, 'oh.. you know.. 1.'
Saturday, July 30, 2005
swell as a bell.
Current mood: alive and ssswell. extremely swell.
is it still lying.. even if you say it's a lie? if i say it's slander.. can i still be tossed in jail for slander? like.. hey, here's some slander.. george bush came over and sniffed cocaine with me all afternoon. we then went to hell for being such assholes.
i'm 110% percent chinese. my chin-o-meter said so. that's pronounced 'chine' not 'chin' and it rhymes with 'pine' and not 'pin'
ever call some company to ask them about a bill or something.. and then they hang up on you? hey, fucker who hung up on me.. fuck you. i'm sure you're busy and stuff.. but.. it's your job to talk to stupid people like me. i called back and a very nice indian lady helped me out.. let's all thank god for making indians.. or maybe the indian monkeys for evolving.
i'm always looking to change my name.. mainly to get my mom angry or something like that. my latest suggestion to her.. Bastard Fuck. she told me that a name like that would make me look stupid.. but then i told her a name like that would make her look stupid.. other unsuccessful suggestions.. penis pi. butt pi. and wiener. why she hasn't chopped off my tongue yet.. i don't know.
... i've got nothing. yep. nothing. usually i have more to say.. but.. nothing this time. and it's not like those times where i have a stupid idea going through my head.. but just don't have the words to express that idea.. this time i've got nothing.. i should start drinking or doing drugs. that'll give the old thought cage a rattle.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
i liked the part when the mexicans crossed the border.
Current mood: pig meat
remember that episode of batman the animated series where mr. freeze is trying to save his wife or something like that? of course you don't. that's a great episode. it's called 'heart of ice.' my brother's decided to purchase all of the old batman episodes.. the animated ones.. none of that pow! zip! pop! zork! huff! puff! and blow your house down stuff.
i've been groovin' on some mozart recently.. well mostly mozart.. the other classicalers do show up.. but the songs tend to get skipped over because some of the composers don't know how to calm down.. canon in d is like some kind of great car.. and it has that new car smell even though it's not new.
nothing much today.. just a bunch of physics.. i could say 'a shit load' but for some people 'a shit load' just doesn't seem like very much.. and if you happen to be constipated it's nothing at all.. and if you have diarrhea.. is that spelled right? i don't care.. if you have diarrhea.. your shit load turns out to be a really gross load.. so.. i said a bunch.. just so i wouldn't need to deal with any sort of 'shit load' criticism..
i forgot to fill the shuffle with new songs.. not sure what i'll be filling it with.. but vinett will be on there.. go listen to some vinett. that is.. if you can find some vinett to listen to.
Monday, August 01, 2005
crackers don't go well with milk.. and cookies don't go well with soup
Current mood: pregnant.
my head feels like it's going to explode. physics is stupid..
every scale should go from 0 to negative something.. that way the fat people will be considered the lightest and the skinny people will be fat. how much do i weigh? -130 lbs. how much does that skinny person weigh?
-500 lbs.. wow. i'm fat compared to that person. that person weighs a good 370 lbs less than me. and if my math is wrong.. too bad. and if you're double checking it right now to see if i really messed up.. stop and spend some time doing that thing you've been trying to do but haven't found the time to do.. and if any physics nerds say negative weight can't be done because it violates some law.. fuck them and their knowledge.. and their law.. this is america.. we have our own laws. so get back to physics country you dork. and screw the laws of physics. our constitution is better too.
so yeah.. i'm a bit frustrated. when you have a quiz tomorrow and and 5 of the 50 something homework problems are saying 'you're a fucking retard because you are.. HAHAHA!' that'll get you going.. and then when you say fuck you back to them.. they don't respond.. because it's just a damn piece of paper.. and just when you think things couldn't get more assed up.. they get even more assed up. so then i start screaming 'OH NO! DON'T ASS THAT UP' but then it just ends up getting assed. that's when you realize that you just crumpled up and threw away a piece of good information on work and energy or something.. and you say.. 'fffffffffffffffffffFFFUCK!'

i love you physics.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
not that gay
Current mood: gay
since hair takes so long to grow back.. that could only mean if you chopped off my arm.. it'd take a good 10-20 years or so to grow back. but i don't have 10 years to wait for an arm to grow back.. so i won't be cutting my arm off.. but then again.. who knows why i do the things i do.. so i might cut off my arm someday.. i'm sure it'll be an accident.. either that or i'll lose it in a fight with a california black bear.. the thing will be sniffing my jar of honey and i'll be like 'hey. go away.' and then it'll stand up.. and i'll go for it's leg.. but then it'll sprawl.. then bite my arm off and run away.. and i'll have to wait 10 years for a rematch.
i need to find a homosexual and ask how to make hair grow faster.. water and homemade fertilizer doesn't help.
you know how i freaked out yesterday? it turns out i forgot to divide by 2. i could explain.. but i hear the ice-cream man.
people are strange... which is a pretty good song. dum dum dum..
get listening to some plastic tree. their music goes.. aaAaAAAaaaAAAA.. like that.
'ding ding diing ding. ice cream man ice cream man.'
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
nothing to see here.
Current mood: gichi gichi
before class today i had to go get some candy.. because.. i like my candy ok. so i go into save-on because it's the only place i can think of that has candy and is open at 7:00.. and i wanted to get my save on.. so i grab some candy and go pay.. i say, 'good morning.' and the cash person said something that i can't remember.. '$2.49' she said.. i give her a 5.. the bill not the hand slap thing.. and she hands me my change and says 'i get the feeling you like skulls.' she probably saw my rings.. and i stand there and go.. 'uhhh.. yeah.' then she laughed.. so i laughed even though i had no idea what was going on.. then i said 'thanks. have a nice day' and left.. i don't know.. it was awkward. when's the last time some old person commented about some random stuff you were doing.. it's just wierd because you don't know what the hell to say.
like that time in my last anthro class. there was some 30 year old lady taking the class for some reason.. we learned about homosexuals and transexuals during the lecture.. and me and my friends couldn't stop laughing when there was a drawing of a person with a uni-boob.. makes me laugh just thinking about it too.. so we walk out of class giggling about the uni-boob. and we're talking like 'hey did you see the uni-boob..' 'yeah that's why i couldn't stop laughing..' 'ha..ha..haaaaa.' then the old lady walks by and asks us 'so. what did you gentlemen think of the lecture?' what the hell man.. just ruin all our fun.. i think i said.. 'um. it was was interesting.' when i could've been saying 'hahaha.. ha.. hahaa.. uni-boob.. haha..' i mean.. i wasn't going to ask her 'hey. what did you think of the uni-boob..' although i think i should've.
my writing seems to be a bit too proper today for some reason.. i'm going to stop.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
chinese hate you. and i are chinese. so chinese love you.
Current mood: candy stripper.
today i learned that time goes by very very slowly when you're hungry.. and even slower when you need to pee. and being extremely active in class doesn't help speed things up either.. but i made it through.. with some rather fancy ideas to put into the thing i'm doing.. don't think like that. you're gross.
i thought of something very funny in class.. but i forgot what it was. and i don't have that eternal sunshine machine to find out what it was.. or i do.. but i don't remember that i have it.
i like having nerds in my class. because when they get an answer wrong they tend to get all huffy and upset. me? i just say things like.. 'oh.. so that's where that 2 went.' or 'what the hell is this? i don't remember doing this..'
2,406+ frames.. that's going to be a female dog.. all you're going to get from me is constant female dogging about how assed me doing this is going to be.
and about that lying thing.. it looks like it's only a lie if you mean it.
lie2
n.
1. A false statement deliberately presented as being true; a falsehood.
2. Something meant to deceive or give a wrong impression.
so.. say whatever you want now.. and if somebody says you're lying.. just say you didn't mean it. and if you're accused of lying.. punch that person in the neck and run.. then hand write a letter explaining how you're not lying.. deliver it personally.. punch them in the neck again.. drop off the letter and run again.
how about this vinett? quite poppy.. like the stuff opium is made of. which is probably why i like it so much. or is it heroin? oh well.. vinett and plastic tree stuck on repeat for me. the songs are really catchy.. like.. the flu. or chicken pox if you haven't already had it..
i feel like i have something really really important to do.. but i don't remember what it is.. again. well.. it probably isn't that important since i forgot about it.
bibliography:
www.dictionary.com, 2005.. the internet. nelson pi.. america. california 92805. anahiem. what else am i missing?

.... it means i'm happy.
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chopping onions makes me smile
Current mood: late for class in 1 hour.
looks like i've made a habbit of waking up at $:30.. i mean 4:30. i don't know why.. and i don't like it.
don't hire me as a minesweeper.. because it seems like getting the job done fast is more important than your safety. hey.. 7 seconds is pretty good even if you get exploded 50 times. and for anyone who's still confused about solitare.. try right clicking.. and if you still don't get it you're a retard.
one more class for the week.. hopefully i won't spend it staring at the wall.
Friday, August 05, 2005
'dup dup dup' goes the hammer
Current mood: head cut off
ok.. so either i got drunk with water.. or two pieces of candy is enough to make stupid. problem solved. i don't know what i was doing to make it not work.. but i tried it again and it worked. so everyone's happy. aren't you happy? i'm happy. if you're not happy get happy. i suggest a bag of dum dums.. that'll get you happy. right until you reach in and pull out popcorn.. the guy who thought people would enjoy sucking on popcorn should have a stake driven through his heart because he's probably some vampire and that's the closest thing to ass blood he can get.
i emailed the white house. i asked them where the love was for george bush. and i told them i was america's #2 citizen.. because we all know america's #1 citizen is that little cuban kid.. elian.
9:23 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

'grarrarbll' says the stomach
Current mood: crayola. crayons.
it looks like this program i'm trying to use is a lot more complicated than i thought it would be.. so.. i'll have to lower my expectation levels because this thing is so complex to use. i want it to move and zoom.. not move skip and blow up. it looks like the only thing i can do is make it look like it's been vomitted one rather than just plain vomit. which is what i try to do with myself. yeah.. so the reason i look like vomit is because some guy threw up on me.. that guy probably being myself when i feel sick.. which i don't right now and it's nice.. although a spider bit my leg last night and it sucks. unless i have super spiderman powers.. which.. it looks like i don't.. but i still haven't checked to see if i can shit webs yet. but as far as the super strength and wall climbing.. ask me after i get a couple more bites.. then we'll see. and whoever invented these spider things up in god's office should be fired.
Saturday, August 06, 2005
that doesn't count.
Current mood: my shoulder hurts.
so i was playing some golf with tiger woods.. when i sneezed while he was hitting the ball and it really messed him up.. so he tells me 'that doesn't count' and i told him.. 'of course it doesn't count.. it's a ball not a counter.. retard.' then he picked up the ball and launched it about 500 yards or soemthing.. then i accused him of cheating.. and he told me to fuck off.. then i caused a ruckus.. and they threw me out.. but seeing as how i really wasn't playing with tiger.. but following him around.. i guess they had a good reason to throw me out. and on my way out i saw the black half of tiger woods smoking crack as well as dealing crack, stealing a car, running a marathon, and asking everyone where the love was.
people who read to pretend they're in a rocket ship or killing pirates have a really lazy imagination. give your imagination a good run everyday.. and don't let it sit on its ass all day while you read. and i just so happen to be writing this while in a rocket ship.. which has lasers so i can kill pirates.. space pirates.
don't ask me about center of mass.. but do ask me about momentum.. and in about 2 days you can ask me about both.. but just momentum for now.. because the book does an ass of a job of explaining stuff.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
1-2-1-2
Current mood: gray. grey. greigh. grrrrrrreat!
uppers:
-vinett and plastic tree and pink floyd
-getting enough sleep
-understanding the physics and blazing through the homework
-happy fish
-candy
-tomorrow
-bears and monkeys
downers:
-tomorrow
-1.5 weeks left..
-having an ass of a sleep because it's hot
-not enough candy
-spider bites
Monday, August 08, 2005
a winner is me today.
Current mood: sugar rush.
today is a great day.. or at least it will be a great day. but you'd only know this if you were chinese.. and even if you were chinese you probably didn't even know it. because you're not super chinese like me. and with all these indian mascots being banned and such. i suggest a couple of those schools change their mascot to the chinamen. that'll make everybody happy. especially me and chairman mao.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
ha..
Current mood: in.sane.
ahahahahahh. HAHAhahahaa.haahahah.aaaaa.a.ahahahahaa.haahahahah...
haha.hah.hah.hahahahahahahaahaa.hahahaahha.HHA.HAA.HahHAAHHAHAHAhAAAHHAhHAhHAahHAh>ahAHahah. jahhahahahahaaha.HAHaha> jahajahajahjaahhahhjaaja.a. haajafahahahahah.

... i need some sedatives no?
Monday, October 25, 2004
'i'm not going to get the fruit there's a ghost right there..'
Current mood: pie-like
seeing as how this thing wants to be troublesome.. all i have to say is this. the family guy movie is great. so go buy it. and all that talk about me and a time machine.. well you can forget about it because i'm not re-typing it.. and no i'm not going to use my time machine to buy you a copy either.. plutonium is expensive.. which is why i've converted my time machine to run on uncle sam's good old fashion homemade american freedom gas.. which is damn expensive these days.
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'i'm not going to get the fruit there's a ghost right there..'
Current mood: pie-like
the family guy movie has given me a case of the giggles. it's goood stuff. of course.. most of you won't be seeing it till later because most of you don't have access to a time machine like i do. so in a month let me know if you bought it and saw it.. or i can bootleg you a copy.. of course that would be waaay too expensive because plutonium doesn't grow on trees.. i use it to power my cd burner.. the time machine runs on uncle sams good old fashion american freedom gas which is damn expensive now.
Friday, August 12, 2005
'i'm not going to get the fruit there's a ghost there.'
Current mood: pie-like
seeing as how this thing wants to be troublesome.. all i have to say is this. the family guy movie is great. so go buy it. and all that talk about me and a time machine.. well you can forget about it because i'm not re-typing it.. and no i'm not going to use my time machine to buy you a copy either.. plutonium is expensive.. which is why i've converted my time machine to run on uncle sam's good old fashion homemade american freedom gas.. which is damn expensive these days.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
i ate the last cookie..
Current mood: but there wasn't any milk..
i just remembered that in 7th grade i did a report on adolf hitler for my english class. i thought it was funny. but the teacher probably thought i was some hateful freak who loves hitler.. which would then make me homosexual and heartbroken because they tossed hitler's brain in some freezing chamber so i'll never see him again.. and that would be just awful.. awful as in me being that person.. not missing hitler. hitler is a bitch. like i've been saying.. he's ruined the square mustache for us all.
why is it that when some asian shaves their head.. he's a monk. and when some white guy does it.. he's a skinhead.. and when a black guy does it he's michael jordan? isn't michael jordan great? you've all seen how he balls the asses off those reverse niggers.. that's why reverse niggers don't have any butts.
"now i never thought before.. that part. that part sounds like pink floyd to me. yeah it sounds like pink floyd to me. i always wondered what that sounded like. the-the-they-they're from another planet anyway. i always wondered what that meant to me... i have a problem. i have a problem with the business world. the business thinks i'm crazy. shush.. i'm not talking about dealing with the chinese.. i'm talking about dealing with the yanks.. excuse me.. the mets. anyway. i have this problem. i have this bad reputation that i'm disgusting, horrible, i shoot up on stage i drink vodka i smoke a joint. but do you know what they do in their offices? they snort more cocaine than i can afford. first of all.. joints they throw away.. vodka it appears magically.. but i think it's down right discriminating that's all i'm trying to say.. and you can make your daily response tomorrow on channel 13. uh.. did you hear enough.. i will leave? i mean are you humpless, homeless.. dickless.. what's your problem? you want what? oh.. well you ain't going to get rock n roll with a fucking acoustic guitar and a saxaphone. i'm trying to give you.. i'm trying to give you some fucking class.. it's like going to the opera to come and see me and jamie. it's like coming to the opera. i mean you expected to see two guys going.. duh duddhdh dudh dudh.. no no.. this is a.. this is my new experience. i'm trying opera. oper-opera. if you don't like it you could all leave.. of course i still rock n roll.. i'm glad someone has a brain.." -mr. thunders
Saturday, August 13, 2005
i ate the last cookie..
Current mood: but there wasn't any milk..
so.. i remembered that i did a report in 7th grade english on adolf hitler.. it wasn't my fault.. he was in time magazine.. so it had to be ok right? well i turned in the paper.. i thought it was funny but i'm sure the teacher was sort of freaked out by it.. she was reading off people who the other kids wrote about.. 'oh.. ghandi. hey. george washington.. um.. adolf hitler..' that's when she stopped.. so i guess it wasn't as funny as it should've been to her.. and i'm sure she probably thought that i loved hiter.. which would be just awful because then that'd mean i'd be homosexual and heartbroken because hitler's brain is frozen in some chamber and that means i can't see him or something. hitler is a bitch.. like i've always been saying.. he's ruined the square mustache for us all..
why is it that when an asian shaves their head.. he's a monk.. when a white guy does it.. he's a skin head.. and when a black guy does it.. he's michael jordan? isn't michael jordan great? i'm mean we've all seen the way he balls the asses off of those reverse niggers.. that's why reverse niggers don't have any butts.
"well you ain't going to get rock n roll with a fucking acoustic guitar and a saxaphone.." - johnny thunders
Sunday, August 14, 2005
the monster in my closet says hi.
Current mood: sllllllide!
i'm the greatest.. only great people like me spend the whole day doing the wrong homework assignment. nobody else is that great. luckily about half of the problems i did were the right problems.. and luckily the bitch ones that i wasted.. or spent a lot of time on were on the list of the to do's.. but now looking at the real list of to do's i've realized the ones i didn't do are a bitch also so.. i called animal control and they said they don't do stuff like that.. what the hell? it's a bitch and i don't want to mess with it.. you're animal control. do your job.
the fish count has risen from the fantastic amount of 6 to 16. some would argue that the number 4 is more fantastic.. because of the fantastic 4.. but come on.. they're retards. and if for some nerdish reason that you want to pull out fantastic 4 issue #356 and point out that it clearly states that "no. gentlemen. the fantastic 4 aren't retards. but it is nelson pi who is the retard.." then get your head out of your ass and.. well.. after that there really isn't a wrong way to go.. unless you stick your head back in.. you should probably get some help.. with the keeping your head out of you ass.. not help with putting it back in.
i have nothing against nerds. it's funny when they start pulling out the facts from their comics and shows. the only nerds i don't like are the asses who don't help you with your nerd classes. fuck you man. you know who you are.. i asked some nerd named pierre for some help with my programming class.. so we go to the library and he starts showing me pictures of women in star trek.. so i'm sitting there.. saying 'yeah.. that's nice..' but i'm thinking.. 'what the fuck?' then i ask him about the programming stuff and he says 'well.. i really can't help you there. you see we all need to develop our own programming style..' fuck you man.. it happened about 2 years ago.. but still. fuck you. funny story though..
Monday, August 15, 2005
"the game, gentlemen, is crrazy 8's."
Current mood: nukegara.
one more day and one more quiz. after tomorrow this nelson pi will as free as a negro.. as long as the white folks don't see.
the korean guy says.. 25, 41, 61, and 56 will be on the quiz tomorrow.. we'll see if he's right tomorrow. he probably is. good thing i got stuck with him for labs and not some other nerd. we go nuts with the cheating and i'm sure it makes that mormon girl pissed.
hmm.. the quiz that i thought i did the worst on happened to be my best quiz so far.. i thought i'd be getting like a 45% but then it just so happens that i got (17.5/20 x 100%) = 87.5%... so.. i really don't know what happened.. you tell me.. but then you'd just tell me that i'm a retard.. so let's not tell me then.
if it were up to me.. baseball would just be one big mound visit.. and a brawl at the end. and steroid injections will be mandatory.. and if you don't want the steroids you can always get hemroids instead.. but believe me.... i don't know what the hell either is like.. so i couldn't tell you which to take. although the hemroids will get you lots of endorsements and such with preparation h.. but then you also get the hemroids.. with the steroids you get the muscles.. but then you also get the broken liver and broken testicles.. so today's lesson is don't play baseball..
one of my fish picked a piece of shit right off another one's ass and ate it. that means anything he eats after that has to be good.
there's something about plastic tree that i seem to enjoy.. but i don't really know what it is..
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
plan B:
Current mood: go fish. go fish...
you're terrible at this game aren't you? go fish fucker.. i don't have any 1's.
so the korean guy was 50% right about the problems being on the test.. good thing i just said 'thanks' instead of 'thank you' to him.. and before he could say 'you;re welcome' i said it and jacked my thanks back from him. then i flipped him off and said 'jukes.. juked bitch!' and ran to my car.
so today ass ears asks the teacher 'um.. did we turn in our cetripetal force lab yet?' then i stood up and pulled out a phaser.. or phazer.. that gun they use on star trek and i screamed 'Ffuck you! ass ears!' and i shot him and he melted.. and then everyone cheered and the teacher said 'free ice-cream!' and we had a ice-cream party instead of a quiz. you're a bitch ass ears..
i asked my mom if i could have ice-cream for dinner.. she said 'ok. but it's your own fault if you get hungry later..' then i said.. 'ha.. if i get hungry later i'll just eat some more ice-cream..' well.. it turns out ice-cream in chinese.. is the same as rice in chinese.. not really. but i had rice for dinner..
the thai guy no longer carries that frog food in the little packs that he says look like soy sauce packs. for some reason most of his cutomers hang out in the back.. where it's dark and the ass salt water fish are. so those times that i thought the place was empty.. people were probably back there doing drugs or soemthing.. i'm not going to correct that.
i got some swordtails today from the thai guy.. i should sue them for false advertising.. or i should sue god or darwin.. or whoever gave these fish that name.. swords are supposed to be sharp and pointy and stuck in some guy who tried to mess with a knight.. these fish have swords made of fish meat which makes them soft and slippery and slimy.. that's not going to kill anything.. so plan A of making a superbreed of killer fish has gone to.. hell.. or shit... or something like that. on to plan B.. thinking of a plan for plan B.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
w w w dot my space dot com
Current mood: "this is crayji"
so.. phil tells me that nick "swears by my blogs.." like these were some kind of super great thing. i don't know.. people usually swear on things like the bible or the koran or the book the buddhists don't use. nick.. stop reading this and get me my 1% and another free shirt.. because that's what a manager does.. bitch.. bitch.. bitch.. unless i'm the manager of some baseball team.. then i'd have a really big ass.
now would also be a good time to mention that i'm making a little animated doo-dad for black tongue.. because it's a great guy.. and i meant to type 'song' but my mind enjoys skipping ahead every now and then to keep me on my toes.. it's going to be about some guy who loses his beer or whiskey or something and he goes nuts.. and all this junk happens to him.. then in the end he finds it and drinks it and he passes out or something like that.

uppers:
-healthy happy fish
-chris haslams part in 'almost round 3'
-chris haslam skating to the cardigans 'my favorite game'
-finally done with summer school
-solved rubik's cubes
-shirts that fit me
downers:
-school starts monday
-gas prices
-shirts that get fatter and not longer and don't fit me
-smelly taiwanese cd-r's
-what they're doing to st. college
Thursday, August 18, 2005
cut with a 'l'.. so it's 'cult'
Current mood: lemony
right. and if somebody could tell me why i seem to get cut and not remember how i got cut.. that would be nice. i got a cut or scrape on the back of my arm.. how the heck did i get messed up back there.. i can barely even see the back of my arm.. and i sure as hell don't remember getting jacked with some kind of knife back there. but one thing i do know is.. that it stings when the cotton on my shirt touches it. which is why i have that 40% cotton 60% polyester thing going.. although it still stings about 40% of the time. but seriously it would be nice to know.
to the chinese people who are still pissed at the japs for what they did during ww2.. get your ass in gear.. and step on the clutch too. you should've started your bitching a long time ago. which is why you should shift into 5th gear or something.. but what do i know.. i drive automatic because my car's a luxury car. shifting is for sporty cars.
to republicans, democrats look like the stupid crazy ones.. to democrats, republicans look like the crazy stupid ones. and the green party just sits back and enjoys the show. if you happen to be republican.. please talk to that lady who chased me in her SUV because i stole her bush sign.. and her baby was in the back seat. what the hell kind of parent would chase some hooliganish chinese kid around with a baby in the back seat? a stupid one that's who.. she doesn't know who she's messing with. the second i see a baby i'm going to turn rabid and eat the kid or something.. it's in my genes. i can't help it. luckily i took the old serum that morning.. so nothing went down or up or left or right. but there were about three u-turns pulled by that lady to chase me down.. and one ugly smile she had. fuck you lady. i hope you come to your sense soon.. and realize america will never be safe or any of that other stuff george bush said. we have negros in compton who could take over america if they'd stop killing each other. but we all know that'll never happen because people are retards and hate a bunch of random stuff for no reason. but if the blacks take over it'll be awesome.. like a party all the time. pull out the couches and toss them on the porch the negroes are in town.
the willowz. aug 25th. amoeba records.
1:53 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

"shut up lubik this is for real.. excuse me.. fo' real"
Current mood: doped out of my gourd
seeing as how the dirty hong kong kid ho-yan anson chad 'the montery park bad boy' kwan and that guy who's says he's the media stud at best buy named phil and that chinese kid who wishes he were mexican so he could trill his r's and yell 'viva la revolucion!' without getting spat on by real mexicans named me.. yeah.. um.. where am i going with this? oh right.. we need to finish that movie we started to make.. but not really started.. but since we have footage we could just say we started it.
homosexual whistlers. two and not one.. but two chinese kids. retards skateboarding down hills and tearing up their shoulders.. ufc fighting. eating contests. free coffee and for about a month free fancy juice and other thievery done at the office. retards patting security people's stomaches are running away like a cheetah. staring contests. trying to hit your head on the roof. couch diving. playing risk with homosexuals and getting flanked.. playing risk without homosexuals and deciding not to play because the homosexual might want to play.. breaking into the akido studio and starting a fight by asking 'you think akido is better than kung fu?' like bruce lee does. the most one sided illegal street races.. so one sided that they shouldn't even be legal which is why they're illegal. this movie is going to have it all.. we just need to get it finished.. or at least really started..
next time somebody asks you 'you want fries with that?' just say 'yes.' and nothing more.. and if they start asking you about sizes and stuff.. tell them.. 'no i don't want the large.. i just said i wanted fries.' and if they call the manager out.. you tell him or her.. 'yeah.. ok. this fuckstard asked me if i wanted fries.. so i said yeah. then they ask me if i wanted 'the large' then i told them no.. i just said i wanted the fucking fries' and when you get kicked out for some odd reason.. pull a gun out and say 'ok everybody don't move this is a robbery.' and slowly back out the door.. just don't do it if this guy happens to be running the place.

‘Picture’
Friday, August 19, 2005
Invalid Subject line, you cannont leave the subject blank.
Current mood: bright black. light white.
while talking to myself the other day.. i said i noticed how fat america's children have been getting. the other i responded by saying. 'yes.. indeed.'
you know what.. old country music is great.. or at least most of it makes more sense than this new country music they got going. i'm not saying new country music is bad.. because they're doing something right if everybody in nashville love them.. even ozzy osbourne got in trouble for pissing on the alamo.. and that thing about rick james which nobody wants to shut up about.. but if some country star pissed on you in nashville you're like the chosen one.. then you decide not to wash yourself to preserve the piss.. then you get a skin condition.. which can't be cured. then the country stars will hold some fund raising concert and you'll be like.. 'yeehaw! a free concert because i got pissed on. i'm dog gone lucky.' right..
and since these new simpsons episodes are so terrible i've decided to let my penis write one because i know it would be a lot better than the crap they have going.. you know.. just get me some snow and lots of water. and while i'm writing things with my penis maybe i can write some lyrics for 50cent.. i think you got shot nine too many times 50.. you should quit while you're ahead.. which means you should've quit before you started.
and the fish count has gone from 18 to 17 because one fish just couldn't take the killer fish training.. i paid no attention to it because i thought he was just doing it to get attention.. well.. he showed me.. or she.. i knew i should've gotten the other fish with the mickey mouse logo on their ass.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
nelson pi's 100% superbowl predictions.
Current mood: 1 year
with the football season coming up. i've decided to put my psychic powers to some good use.. turns out that brainwashing retards to run for president is considered a bad idea to some.. sorry mr. bush. well.. here's the prediction.
falcons - 27
ravens - 20
the ravens will set a new record with 10 safeties. while the falcon's michael vick will end the game on a run which lasts the entire 4th quarter and his saying 'that's not in the playbook.. but it should be.' becomes the new 'i'm rick james bitch.' whether i'm 100% right or wrong.. it's still 100%. and please stop saying that..
"greetings earth livers. take me to your leader." but with so many leaders to choose from.. we were unable to decide who to take the alien to. so we shot the alien.. and then the earth exploded.. the alien was trying to warn us.
newspaper says the police found a huge marijuana farm thing.. and said the 'street value' was half a million dollars.. or $500,000.00.. which ever seems like more money to you.. i never got the street value thing.. is it different in the office or some other place.
'hey jim.. did you get the memo? yeah.. looks like casual friday has been changed to casual monday.. what a drag. so.. you want some weed?'
they need to start finding more cocaine and less marijuana.. because last time i checked.. cocaine makes you nuts. and let's hope they never find that huge stash of opium.. because chinese people need their opium.. that's what makes us chinese.. it's the opium.. not the genes or the chromosomes.. it's always been the opium. we had a whole war about this.. so don't get me started on how opium makes people chinese.
yeah. and if you happen to be some little kid.. who for some reason is reading this and not playing with your pokemon or.. playdough.. you can't just take opium and become chinese.. you earn it... by having parents who have done so much opium their children grow extra toes. don't do drugs you little fucker. and don't eat your playdough.. it's salty.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
aren't you george lopez?
Current mood: they really need some better moods.
while cleaning out the frog tank i came across a black widow in my back yard. i was expecting something like a 'yo, yo, yo. my husband be dead nigg-AAAaaa.' out of the black widow.. but instead got a 'oh shit!' out of me. at the time my neighbor happened to be in the backyard and i heard him say 'que?' so then i said, 'esa pinche arana de negra' and then i heard 'ai way! esa pinche arana de negra. pinche chinito...' and i heard him drop a bunch of bottles.. possibly beer bottles.. maybe corona.. and he kept yelling until i heard the door slam.. long story short.. i grabbed the raid and poisoned the hell right out of it. then i smashed the hell out of it too. so.. it was completely hell-less after i was done with it..
next time somebody says. 'let's get the hell out of here.' make sure you stay.. because if you leave that makes you hell.. and that means people like hitler and mr. capone and charles manson when he dies are living in you.. and the way women complain about dragging around a fetus for 9 months. dragging around millions of evil souls can't be good.. unless you're into that stuff for some reason. so.. if you are hell and are reading this.. please jump into a tank of liquid nitrogen. i want to do something and i need hell to be frozen. thank you.
and that reminds me. how many retards does it take to light up that thing to get the heater going? 3. me and phil trying to light almost anything we see and come really close to maybe exploding the house.. and anson to feel very sick after eating del taco.
school starts tomorrow for me. let's hope no nerds are in my class.. because that'll make me sit and laugh.. then everyone will start staring at me.. then i'll have to say something like.. 'sorry.. i just remembered a funny joke my brother told me.' but instead 'dude.. why are you guys wearing pants?' will come out.. and then i'll realize that i'm the only one not wearing pants.. and i'll think.. great.. the one day i decide not to wear pants everyone else decides to wear them.
Monday, August 22, 2005
it seems i've let things get out of hand.
Current mood: way out of hand.
the only good thing that came out of today was the fact that i'm the minority again. awesome. but the parking is terrible. my teacher is some super awesome nerd.. but that's the only nerd in the class..so far. and.. you're not listening to hank williams. and it's hot.
so if my math is right.. 4 negatives make a plus. unless you add those negatives. then you get a super negative. but i'm going to multiply them and get the fact that school is damn close to downtown fullerton which is great. you know how i like that old junk. i should step into that walker '47 store.. but i'm afraid those people will kick me out or yell at me and send me back to working on the railroads or they'll call me yeller or something.. and shoot me with a colt 45.. the devil's right hand.
i should go buy those bright red gloves at straycats.. or that store next to black hole records. there was this awesome punk guy with a mohawk. he opened the door for me. and he was talking to the owner who reminds me of a blonde dee dee ramone for some reason.. and they were like, 'blah blah blah.. singer for the adicts..' 'oh yeah.. i know him..' then i looked at some random objects.. and then i left and he opened the door for me again.. and i said thanks. and he was either staring at my super hide necklace or he was staring at me trying to get his laser vision going.. but he couldn't. necromance is the place to go.. and remember.. hide is pronounced hee-day. and it should not be confused with that homosexual day they have in san francisco. hide is the guitarist. not the day.
"there's a tear in my beer cause i'm crying for you, dear.. you were on my lonely mind. into these last nine beers i have shed a million tears. you were on my lonely mind. i'm going to keep drinking until i'm petrified and then maybe these tears will leave my eyes."
go listen to some hank williams.
charles manson who is anson says mr. mui or miu.. i still can't seem to remember which it is.. will be holding a gala event on saturday. or so he thinks. the last time he did some thinking.. things turned out rather nicely. last time i did some thinking.. things turned to ass penises and it was terrible.
why i thought there was a kinko's at the block is beyond me.. that means it's really really far away from me.. so don't tell me to grab it because i'll get tired. and anyplace i thought there was a kinko's a starbucks was there instead. so either i'm crazy.. or starbucks is replacing printing with coffee.. which i don't drink. so my awesome super printer will be and antique.. an antique which needs toner after almost two and a half years of use. luckily downtown fullerton is full of antiques. maybe i can find some antiques there.. um.. i mean toner. that's why i'm retarded folks. and when people call me sir it's funny.
the mexican invited his grandchildren over and they won't shut up. perhaps i can invite them over tomorrow to have them translate what's going on in 12 corazones.. or maybe jose luis if they have time..
the last time i watched jose luis.. or maybe it was 12 corazones.. they kept saying pene.. or phil said it to me. so i asked the mexican kids outside my window at the apartment 'hey what does pene mean?' then phil ran away.. so i ran away.. and he told me it meant penis.. and i thought he was lying so i looked it up.. and.. it turns out it does mean penis. how the hell does it not mean pen? 'no' means 'no' in spanish.. and taco means taco. so why does pene mean penis. crazy mexicans. park must mean something like 100% pure mexican land in spanish.. because they love their parks.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
go kill hitler
Current mood: soar. like a bird.
lines are stupid. i spent 1 hour in one to get my books and junk. it wasn't too bad.. for me at least. because the people behind me had to wait even longer.. and they people behind them had to wait outside because the line was becoming a fire hazard.. they called in a fireman and everything.. and he took out his axe and started walking through chopping people.. 'clear the... WAY.' followed by a chop. he almost chopped me.. or so i thought.. turns out he did chop me. my extra toe. i should probably thank him.. but seeing as how i was losing a large amount of blood.. and you know how i get when i lose my blood.. i had a doctor re-attatch it. i had them call a doctor.. and the circus or the zoo or something.. because i thought a monkey had escaped.. but it happened to be that vietnamese girl in my chemistry class who looks like a monkey and is really really annoying.. ole!
i have this old indian guy in my physics class. he smells somewhere between spicy and awful. he walked in today with a smile on his face and his zipper down. i don't know.. i thought it was funny.. he asks wierd questions and i don't know what he's saying.. but i'd rather have 8 of him surrounding me than that monkey girl and her ass friend.. sure i might throw up from the smell.. but anything's better than having to deal with people who don't shut up. anyone who starts gasping and going nuts during one of those lab safety thing is retarded. that's you monkey girl and ass friend. the part where the bottle falls and shatters and a bunch of acid goes all over the person makes you laugh.. no go.. gasp! 'oh my god!' whoever was in that video was going for the oscar though.. i'd given it to them.. that scene in the supershower where the person looks like she's going to die because she's getting some acid rinsed off.. brilliant.
for some reason i wanted to say holy shit all day.. so 'HO-lee SHIT.' and after how dead i was yesterday.. it appears that i won't be able to go see the willowz tomorrow.. because tomorrow is yet another penis dick day.
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penis day.
Current mood: cured.
yesterday smelled. smelled in a bad way. but people do tend to use 'smell' to mean something like you smell like ass.. and not you smell like super fruit. yeah. this 10:30 to 5:20 thing of class every tuesday and thursday sucks.. i couldn't think of a better word. sorry.
yesterday's theme. 'there are no stupid/dumb questions.' then i asked 'is this a stupid question?' and they said 'no.' so i guess there really isn't a stupid question. but how can a question be stupid? i mean.. they don't have any brains or that thing people call mental capacity or something.. get the japanese made capacitors. they're the best. and i guess this means i can't be stupid.. because the zombies got to me.
my mom drank a lot.. so i was born with ups syndrome. which is why i'm so messed up. thanks mom.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
g-zus
Current mood: berry
this sucks. and i have nothing more to say.
that's all there is to it.
Monday, August 29, 2005
ear muffs are for people with ears. introducing the head muff!
Current mood: zzZzzZZZzzzzzzzz.
'well. i'm quite all right old chap. see you at tea time. have a jolly good day. cheerio.'
where's our tea time? i'll tell you where our tea time is.. america has stuck all of our tea time into that extra leap year day thing. and even then people don't get themselves some tea. so what's wrong with you people? get your ass some tea. i suggest getting the kind picked by monkeys in china.. that'll give you something to talk about.. but you really don't want to drink it.. because it taste bitter.. prossibly because the monkeys don't wash their hands.. or you have dirty chinese people picking the tea instead of monkeys.. and when you try and sue the company because they got some false advertising thing going.. you find out the CEO is a monkey.. a really big one at that.. and he steals your bananas.. and you're like.. 'hey!' and he shoves you and you fall on your ass.. and he pounds his chest and walks off with his hands in the air laughing.. hahaha!
to those republicans who support the war.. and.. for some reason.. some really retarded reason.. are outside of george bush's ranch right now.. holding signs saying 'george w. bush. the W is for Winner!' or 'i do not support cindy sheehan. i support the big D. dubya~!' you're a bunch of retards. go get your kids killed and see how you feel fuckers. and if you still don't get it.. get yourself killed and see how you feel.. you'll feel dead stupid.
chem lab tomorrow means.. i don't know.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
minerals added for taste.
Current mood: flip.. flipped.
my frosted flakes turned really soggy and gross. but the milk was very sweet and frosty tasting like the snowman. he asked for it.. standing around on my lawn like that. making me act like an old man and getting me to say. 'hey you crazy punk. get off my lawn.' so i ran outside with a blowtorch.. i had one leftover from the vietnam war.. and he started screaming and crying because he had no legs and couldn't run away. then he hit me with that broom i gave him and laughed. the fucker tricked me. so i bit his arm off.. and then was diagnosed with diabetes due to his large amounts of frosty-ness.
uppers:
-box of stolen pens from my brother
-finding the right buttons on my calculator
-finding parking under a tree
downers:
-tuesdays and thursdays
-the fobs in my chemistry class
-the sun pissing on us
-random dead fish
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
red gloves.
Current mood: non-diabetic.
who wants to do my homework for me? i've done this so many times i'm starting to forget how to do it. word! i need some ice-cream or candy or something.
in the sun. in the sun...
7:29 AM - 1 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

homework due thursday.
Current mood: speech due friday
don't forget to do your statics homework. for me.
go buy me a cat with a lion's head, a tiger's body. some siamese cat eyes. claws from that cat that enjoys tearing up the furniture. and the soul of that one cat. you know the one i'm talking about.. and if you don't.. well you're missing out. the car went vrrooom. and the cat went. meow. for you.
i like wednesdays now. you get the trash taken out. and i have a short day of class. i used to hate it when the camel came out of his hole or cave or that place he lives and just started laughing at everybody.. "hahaha.. it's humpday and all you retards don't have any humps." then when tie day finally came around.. i was ready to go kick the camel in the balls.. but he crawls out with a tie on.. and it's the same tie i have on.. how the hell does a camel put a tie on? they have these huge hoofs or feet.. it's like bigger than their face and stuff so they have cancer. well we sort of got into a nice little scuffle... and things happened.. let's just say.. all those stories you heard about the camel's hump being full of water.. well.. they're wrong. it was gross.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
1+1 = two. not 2
Current mood: bathroom.
well. the pre-lab stuff was due. sort of makes sense i guess. why would they call them pre-lab questions if they weren't due? well.. what i thought was that.. pre.. actually meant. please read everything. which i also didn't do.. so i guess i deserve losing those points.. but i did get 2 bonus points in class because the other students are some breed of ultra retards.. and they can't do basic algebra. but then again.. i'm like jesus when it comes to math.. the only difference is.. i'm not jesus.
remind me to pick up some frog food for the brother's dwarf frogs.. so they don't die. also remind to to find out why my fish are dying.. i'm probably going to blame it on that liquid cat in my fish tank. i should probably purchase a liquid dog to even things out.. or maybe even a liquid mouse. then after all that's settled i'll get a liquid chinese person and the cat dog and mouse will be done with.. and i can tell the liquid chinese person that there's a bunch of mongols coming inside.. so he better get outside. and when he does that.. the sun will get to him and evaporate him.
so the speech is due today. and rather than having something written.. so it all sounds hyper scripted. i've decided to make some stuff up. but it's not going to be exciting at all.
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lincoln blocks and building logs.
Current mood: pink string.
i'm not sure if my lab stuff is due today.. but i don't care.. because i finished my statics homework and decorated the paper with swastikas and iron crosses galore. the teacher is some german lady. so i'm sure she'll enjoy that.
if my lab stuff is due.. then.. damn. i won't get to eat lunch then. because i'll be doing calculations.. and the way i am.. i don't think i should miss lunch. so let's all ask.. that person you worship to help me out. unless that person is richard simmons.. i don't need that kind of help.
i also need to write a speech.. about 'my most dangerous moment' because the other topics are lesbian.. the bad way. the way i see it is.. it's not really that dangerous if you've got nothing to show for it. so.. i'll be telling the story of how i went down the super hill on my skateboard and pretty much left a bunch of me on the pavement. some would say that's dangerous.. but since it was my fault it's just stupid. zooooooooooooOOOM!
Friday, September 02, 2005
get cultured.. agricultured!
Current mood: mei hua.. mei hua.. mei hua.. mei hua.. mei hua..
for the zero people who will actually get this.. wave the chinese flag and sing.. 'mei hua.. mei hua..' that has to be the greatest thing ever. but since half of you aren't chinese.. and those of you who are chinese still don't get it.. you really need to work on that.. or you'll end up like some vietnamese kid in my physics class who says this really really wierd stuff.. and i don't know what the hell to say.
and with a great thing to do comes a great question. in the chemistry lab scene.. we're doing out calculations and such.. but before that my lab partner asked the greatest question ever. she asked, 'is nelson your real name?' so i was like.. what the hell? minus 'the hell' and plus a '!' so i was like 'what!?' then i was like 'ohhh.. yeah. it's my real name..' that was awesome.
my speech has been postponed to next friday.. rather than friday. and the next speech will be done.. friday after next.. which i think should be called next friday's next friday.
these online chemistry quizes are like extremely fat chickens with that bird flu that's going around... does 'quizes' have two z's because that's how the teacher spells it.. i mean.. i don't care.. i just need to know.
how about this labor day fad. and why has my vocabulary increased from my usual 1 word for everything junk to this so many words to choose from stuff? what the hell happened to everything being fancy.. maybe because i happen to be doing more reading.. rather than looking at the pictures.. even with these new words in my head i still can't think of a better way to say 'fuck you.'
Saturday, September 03, 2005
merrily. merrily. merrily..
Current mood: life is but a dream..
if i did drugs.. this would be the time where everything just flips out.. and starts jumping.. but i don't do drugs.. so everything is flipping in.. and i don't like it.
if you happen to be extremely wealthy.. like.. really really really rich.. like some kind of english beer. donate some money for this hurricane thing. and if you're thinking 'fuck that. i'm rich. that's not how you make money..' well.. fuck you. because like i said.. i can't think of a better way to say fuck you.. than fuck you. the karma bug is going to bite you right in the ass. and that bite is going to itch.. and you're going to spend the rest of your days scratching your ass because you couldn't donate that $572 change you got when you bought your endangered bird egg breakfast. in the end.. sure. you'll go to heaven. but to you it'll be hell.. because you'll see 2pac up there. and when you see him.. you'll be looking for your glock.. but you won't be able to find it.. and 2pac will be like.. 'i fucked your bitch. wessst side nigga fo' life!' and you'll just break down and cry.. because you didn't help. and if you are rich.. and you like 2pac.. and you're thinking not donating will get you a ticket to see 2pac in heaven.. think again.. i'll make sure that you see me.. so i can shovel shit in your face everyday.
i have dreams.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
new coke.
Current mood: rob a bank.
remind you of anything?
it's one thing to act plastic. that's fine. you can fix that with fire. but if you look plastic.. that's just awful. fixing that with fire.. will lead to more awful-ness.. and i'm starting to think i misspelled awful. and maybe even misspelled too. i should probably look that up.. because every time i type it.. i start wondering.
i left my phone in my car.. and i just remembered now. that's memory for you.
i'm all over the place. did you see that ad in the magazine of me? no. not that magazine.. why would i be in that?
these classic disney cartoons are great. donald goes.. 'waaa.. hahahahahaha. waaaa.. hahahahaha!' and then i go 'waaa.. hahahah.. waaa.. hahaha..' because it's funny. 12,000 pictures for a 6 minute cartoon.. that's.. get your calculators and check my expert in head calculations.. 2000 frames per minute.. which is.. 33.3333333 frames per second.. so that's my problem.. i'm stuck doing stuff at 5-11 fps.. and.. that number is an awesome number which i've just come to realize.
everyday of school is like a great adventure now.. you have to kill mexicans.. and crazed vietnamese fobs. and the white folks.. don't get me started with the white folks.. but just remember the black people are there to help you.
i miss a lot of things.. like.. when i just so happen to be the super villain.. and the hero starts running off.. i shoot where he is.. and not where he's going. and when he's standing still.. i decide to shoot where he's going and not where he is..
let's not give me a time machine.. because i'll probably end up dead.
Monday, September 05, 2005
cats with stripes
Current mood: not postal.
from that scene during the time really close to finals.. until now.. my hair has grown a mind boggling 2 inches.. that's.. almost 5 centimeters! so at this rate.. i'll be growing a foot of hair a year.. that's about 30 centimeters.
this organizing my music thing is the worst thing i've ever thought of. my music somehow exploded to an astounding.. 7378 songs.. which will keep me busy for almost 20 days. so i'm like.. hey. when the hell did this happen? and my hard drive likes to complain.. 'i don't feel good mr. pi.' and i say.. 'stop calling me mr. pi!' and it goes.. 'yes sir.. mr. pi.' and i throw a fit.. and start crying. then a stick about 100 more songs on my computer.. and my computer complains some more.. and the whole thing starts over again.
that candy.. is starting to smell like piss. did somebody piss on my candy? it had to be the sun. the sun is always taking a leak.
i seem to be full something.. and something else in me enjoys turning that into this crazed hyper happiness i have going. and it's like.. word dog.. word. and that stuff also takes happiness and just sticks an exponent on it.. so it just zooms right off of the graph.. and you don't even know where it goes until you zoom out.. but by the time you zoom out.. you'll be zooming so much you won't even care anymore. get yourself more catalysts and less bases.. that means.. well. it's better for you to find out yourself. it's not drugs. so don't start there. chemistry is a good place to start.. but all you'll be doing there is learning.
i was rubbing my eye.. and my eye.. farted. do they do that now? or is it like a mutant eye that needs to be taken out and replaced with a glass one so i can stare at you even though i'm looking way over to the left of you.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
cats with no more stripes
Current mood: crystal fresh purified water.
today's far worse than i thought.. bob denver is dead.
yes i have been listening to too much 2pac..
huey p. newton.
!
Friday, September 09, 2005
kinetics.
Current mood: fried eggs.
today is like my lucky day or something.. but it's not marked on the calendar.. so i don't know. more about this some other time.
uppers:
-fruit snacks
-clean frog tanks
-more classic disney cartoons
downers:
-hurricane stuff
-smelly dirty frog tanks
-two tests before some people start class.
-people.. minus their imagination.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
even i have an odd feeling about this one.
Current mood: going happy.
i went to the nuthouse the other day. and i left about a minute after i arrived.. why would you call it a nuthouse if you don't even have peanuts? i threw a fit. and problems solved.. or so i thought as i lay face down on the concrete with a syringe full of sedatives stuck in my ass.
about those speeches. i talked the hell out of them.. and i don't even know how. for some reason.. people are entertained by my antics for some reason. i liked the part where the teacher said my hand gestures were really good.. of course those hand gestures were just me being nervous as hell.. which is probably.. not too nervous.. so let's say.. i was as nervous.. as hell is hot. that'll do. and that fob who gave me feedback.. quy.. or thuy.. i'm sorry man.. but i had no idea what you said other than the part.. about me stalling while i was not finding that brilliant nazi pepsi drinkers quote from my notes.. oh.. and maybe i should stand with my ass facing the crowd next time.. because that's exactly where my speech was coming from.. straight out of my ass.. with a paper with a couple of stats and quotes. top that mr. president new george bush.
i think i know why i'm so skinny.. i laugh too much.. and i can't stay still unless i really try to. being skinny isn't really a bad thing. i enjoy it.. right until those shirts don't fit because they want to get fatter and not longer. so.. introducing the nelson diet.. or perhaps the pi diet.. but that might confuse some people.. and then i'd get sued. so the nelson diet will work.. for now.. anyway.. eat all the food you want.. but you have to find every single thing in life damn funny.. so you laugh your ass off constantly.. going AAHHhhh...hahahahah hoo..hahaha zzzzwahahahahah.. ptttththth[thththt hahahahaha.. and when you can't laugh.. move around.. a lot.. like you really need to take a piss.. and you'll start losing those unwanted pounds. and if you wish to decrease in mass.. it's the same process except you'll be shedding loads and loads of slugs right off your body. and that's why we need to get the metric system in america. dude.. we're missing out on some crazy brain tumor-ish fun. so call now for the nelson diet. just $4.99 plus the price of food.. which is a lot cheaper than that lindora thing.. which has you doing what? eating a bunch of stuff you don't want to.. so you're sad.
the music has shifted again.. to something with a bit more.. rrrah! and the music will probably stick with this rrrah music until october.. when we get a few clips of new audio karate stuff. ole`
i've also been having the thoughts of riding into the sun.. or sunset.. like a cowboy. the good cowboys.. no. not the football team.. i'm a redskins fan because it's like having a team called the niggers.. and not these yeehaw! pow pow pow.. cowboys either.. i'm talking about those mutant cow boys.. with utters on their heads.. that's really gross no?
Sunday, September 11, 2005
not crackers.
Current mood: cookies.
i need some cookies.
2:51 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

dorque. that's classy.
Current mood: hungry?
good news and bad news. if you want the good news first.. read on. if you want the bad news first.. skip ahead until you find it. which makes me think of those make your own story book things.. if you want to fight the killer dragon.. turn to page 19. if you want to run like a girl.. turn to page 21. and when you turn to page 19.. you read something like.. the dragon has slayed, you, the dragon slayer. go to page 28 for your funeral.. and when you say 'oh. shit.. i don't want to die..' and turn to page 21 instead.. you read.. 'the king has you executed for running like a girl.. which means you are a witch in these backward days.' please turn to page 28 for your funeral.. so you read page 28.. and you're done with the book.. then you flip through the book and you find all these wierd random pages with pictures of elephants with pitchforks.. and you start wondering.. how the hell do you get to that page.. so you read the book again.. but you still end up dead.. except this time a little rat elf tricked you into whoring yourself for those shiny ass crystals.. and you end up dead because there's one of those crazed serial killers who preys on hookers. awesome books.
so.. the good news is.. i've found a nice combination of foods to come out to exactly $3 for lunch at jack in the box..
the bad news.. if you're still interesting in my 'news.' i only have $1 in my wallet. so.. i need to go to the bank.. which is all the way over in brea.. and my car is an ass and the a/c isn't cold.. so it better not be hot.. or i'm going to get really gross feeling.
onto some other news.. the tony hawk soundtrack was released some time around this time. word. the stooges.. the misfits.. some of those buzzcocks. that's awesome.. but from what i'm reading is.. that songs by those bands are going to be covered by today's popish punk groups.. like.. my chemical romance.. or taking back sunday.. or thursday.. the only bad thing about that is today's retards are going to get really confused.. and they're going to sound really stupid when they start asking my chemical romance what inspired them to write astro zombies.. and take off that bulletproof vest.. it doesn't look right.. and stop naming your band after days of the week.. good job with the music though.. you know i'm not ok.
i'm sure i make my mistakes.. so point them out to me when i do and punch me in the neck and call me a retard so i learn my lesson.. that's what that english guy did.. i sort of stuck the mozart tag on one of bach's songs.. the next day.. some guy from the london philharmonic is at my door.. saying stuff like.. 'good day sir. may i have a word with you?' so we start talking.. and he has his bag with like a tuba and a bunch of horns.. so he steps into my house.. and pulls out a frech horn and hits me in the head.. and i'm like.. 'dude.. what the hell? that hurts man..' and he keeps hitting me.. then he pulls out the tuba.. and the clock goes over to 4:00 and his eyes light up.. and he says 'tea time!' and he sticks shoves me into the tuba.. and i'm stuck. then after tea time.. he couldn't pull me out.. so he worked my legs.. then he said.. 'don't ever lower sir mozart to that of the lowly bach..' and i'm like.. crying because it hurts. and the firemen take me out with the jaws of life.. and that's when i realized.. that fucker stole my crumpets.
9/11... let's not forget about that either. we need william wallace as president though.
and let's also not forget that football season is starting.. so.. don't talk to phil.. because he's going to want to talk to you about brett favre.. which isn't a bad thing to talk about.. but.. nobody wants to hear about brett favre's glands.
Monday, September 12, 2005
"hand some nuts over here!" that'll go zoom!
Current mood: wheed whacker.
man.. this final fantasy vii movie.. what is wrong with the music.. who sticks piano music in during a fight.. it is not like classy piano music.. but it is like doped out style music played on a piano. that composer has really has really.. yes that much has really.. lost his edge. it is rather pretty though. like some kind of naked man carved by michelangelo.
chemistry test tomorrow.. and if it is anything like the homework.. or sample problems. this one will be in the bag. what bag that may be will depend on the test. if it is a person.. it will be in a body bag. if it is some groceries.. it will be in a grocery bag.. paper or plastic you ask.. no thanks. i have brought my own. who really brings their own bags to the store? they will not even let us take out bags into the damn store because we need to leave them out in front.. writing without contractions is hard.. and it makes things sound too jagged.. like the rocks near every single waterfall in the world.
upon talking with miss writererer of human stories.. i've learned that 36.5% of today's writers of fiction.. really need to make things fiction. so.. if we have 100 writers.. 36 and a half of them need to do better work. and we really really need some more stories about bears and cats creating mischief. these stories about people are boring.. we're people.. if we wanted to hear stories about ourselves we'd go outside naked and dance around in the fountains at the mall.
birds are always letting out warm ones. it's been warm lately.. so some people really don't know if it's a wam one.. or if they're just warm. luckily it's starting to cool down.. unfortunately.. americans have been known to let out cold ones.. it's miller time!
i'm just trying to bring you people some class.. but it appears that the un-classy people don't want it.. and the classy people don't need it. touche`
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
since when is it ok to drink egg nog in july?
Current mood: testicles.
what's going to be really awesome is that my stomach is going to be growling and grumbling during the test today.. the people are going to be doing their 1+1 on their calculators and i'm going to let out a.. 'grrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRaaarararrarraargggragargarrgggggGGG!!!!!' and they're going to hit the wrong key and stuff and not realize it. that's phase 1. now on to phase 2.. finishing way early to make other people really nervous. like.. dude how did that guy finish so fast.. i better hurry and mess up somewhere. if you do that.. and i guess if you study a bit.. you're bound to get an A.. not like tied down bound.. but like fo' sho' bound.
life is like a box of chocolates.. fat people eat it way too fast and die.
and leave it to the fat cats to get rid of my favorite candy.. i'm going to bitch and complain everyday.. if i can.. to starburst.. and tell them you dirty fat cats have my candy and i want it back.. or something like that. i don't want starburst jellybeans.. nobody likes jelly beans after what harry potter did to them.. that fucker and his ass flavors..
Thursday, September 15, 2005
(max 95 characters)
Current mood: moOOoood.
outside of me.. today was awesome. but inside of me.. the cracked out metabolism was going nuts. where does it keep getting its crack? i'm not giving crack to it.. but if i do find the supplier.. i'm going to have to hire some people to do a number on them. maybe.. the number 72. because they've been selling my metabolism some bad crack.. i tasted some of it.. and i got nothing out of it. good crack is supposed to make your tongue numb or something like that.
so.. i get out 2 hours early from lab.. because i'm like a superstar when we're in the computer lab part.. which is sort of good because i had a test at 4.. but it's bad because i already studied a lot before.. and it showed because my test taking routine went off without a hitch except for the stomach growling part.. so i basically sat around staring at my book and getting some second hand smoke from the ass smokers. i need to find out how to fart smoke so i can blow a huge puff of smoke right at them.. but i have to make sure it's not too huge.. or.. you know.. you lose a good pair of pants.
and that's when it hit me.. that oreo shake i had for lunch which gave me the ups.. went through my system and i started getting the downs. and you know me when i get my downs.. wierd stuff happens..
this reading for that speech class is terrible.. it's not teaching me how to communicate properly.. in fact.. after reading today's assignment.. i'm an even bigger asshole than before. man.. on the plus side.. seeing as how saying 'korean doctor' is racist.. because not all doctors are korean or something like that.. the kkk has to let me join now. grand wizard here i come.
1:46 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

i need to use the toilet.
Current mood: toward the bathroom
that was the greatest sleep ever. but the wierdest dream ever.. i was driving and making a bunch of illegal moves which would be legal in china.. and stopped at a store that had a big sign that said. 'bear meat.' and i was supposed to be buying stuff for dinner or something.. so who wouldn't go and try it out.. it's bear meat. so i went in.. and they were selling video games.. and i was like.. 'where's my fucking bear meat, constable.' well.. i really didn't say that. but you get the picture.
you really need to read some calvin and hobbes if you haven't already.
Friday, September 16, 2005
more boring than a boar.
Current mood: opiumed
those stray cats that are running around my house are great. cats are always better than dogs.. because dogs are bitches.. well.. at least the female ones are.
so.. i finally tracked down some translated doraemon comics.. because we all know my japanese is like.. super good. and.. for a robot.. doraemon is really fat.
i really don't like those fobs in my chemistry class.. and when i say fob.. well.. you really don't know fob until you've met these fobs. eewwwwjd.
i'm surprised my mom hasn't killed me.
uppers:
-doraemon
-no studying.. at least not for tests
-about 2000 files of organized music
-getting the ups from sugar
-those stray cats
downers:
-shirts or clothing that requires reading
-the remaining 4000 files that need to be organized
-the story of the dead cat.. that i'm sure none of you know about.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
the hair longer.
Current mood: they do good work.
is something wrong with my taste in music.. or is something terribly wrong with you? it's probably you..
you people don't deserve ears.. you know who you are.
i'll yell about this later..
Sunday, September 18, 2005
eat a fish. kill the mermaids.
Current mood: rubik
the mockingbird is a good looking guitar. all the other guitars are jealous. they all go.. i wish i looked like the mockingbird.. but their wish doesn't come true because they don't have a genie to grant wishes. so everyday all the ugly guitars go and vomit to try and make themselves prettier but it only makes things worse. all they can do is take pictures of my guitar for their own personal use.
when i play my ass guitar.. it sounds like i'm hitting a cat with a whale's ass because i got the top of the line.. $150 guitar. that's money well spent. i could've spent $900 more and gotten a better one.. that's made of some sort of imported wood from england land.. but hey.. when you look this good.. nobody seems to care what you sound like.
perhaps i should work on my guitaring.
max genius is brilliant. i'm max genius.
current projects:
-guita-ring
-dra-wzing
-enginee-ying (to the max!)
discontinued projects:
-uci (it's awesome)
Monday, September 19, 2005
you like breathing.
Current mood: midas touch
i also like breathing. it's a wonderful pastime. screw baseball.. breathing's a lot better.
i find it hard to understand that.. we live in a 3 dimensional world.. but we tend to think in 2 dimensions. ever try and draw something that's 3d? if you're not good at drawing and stuff you'll probably end up drawing something that looks like 3 asses when you only wanted to draw one ass. and you'll be sad.. because you don't want 3 asses because 3 asses means that much more shit.. and that many more times to wipe.
which brings me back to the music thing.. some people are retards and don't even know it. i'm not going to tell you if you're a retard.. you're going to have to figure it out yourself.. well.. here's a hint.. music doesn't mean those 97 bands that sound the same.
i've learned to think in 3d.. maybe that's what's wrong with me.. or what's wrong with you.
after reading about that black dahlia murder thing.. and seeing pictures.. i feel sick. it's mainly the pictures that got me..
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
"Nazi hunter Simon Wiesenthal dies aged 96"
Current mood: hair-chi
there's thunder and lighting going nuts in my backyard.. and i didn't even have my frankenstein style monster ready yet. looks like i'm going to have to go with plan b.. and stick it's finger in the electrical socket. but.. i probably won't.. because my monster will probably kill me.. and god will punish me for playing god. oh. and my monster will also kill that little girl with the flower because he gets pissed because he's a monster. there goes that project.. don't dig through my trash.
and looking at that "there's" up top.. you don't know which one it is.. there is. or there was. what's the rule on this english stuff? the way i see it is.. there's no need for rules. which is why during that one year of newspaper.. i didn't edit a single article that was thrown at me. i read through maybe 1 or 2.. but it's not my job to edit.. even if i was the editorials editor.. that wasn't my job. my job was to get 5 articles to fit on 1 page by shrinking them and adding colourful pictures.. which are much worse than colorful pictures because we printed everything in black and white. and i also had to respond to 'mr. mysterious' because he didn't enjoy the stuff that was going on with the newspaper.. so i pretty much called him a bitch. and next year as a senior i found out he was a little mexican kid who failed japanese (which is the easiest class ever if i'm in it). yeah.. so forget about editing.. what's the point of making everything perfect. if you want that go to france. if that makes any sense at all. it just happened to be the first country that came to mind.. actually china was the first.. but that would make even less sense.
my hair is just totally cracked out right now. perhaps i should have it cut.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
it's like a cow without utters.
Current mood: ramones.
i found some rather rare music.. and i have to say.. it's not like rare meat.. which is all bloody and stuff.
isn't the rain great. i don't need to wash my car.. which is awesome.. and i got soaked on my way to lunch.. so i spent about 7 hours in moist clothing.. and that just made the day that much for (i meant to type more.. not sure why for came out) enjoyable. we've all had our days being dry.. today was something different. a day of being moist.
i got major points taken off for not putting in a free body diagram on my homework. and some of you are probably thinking.. 'free body diagram? at least hookers make you pay.' on the plus side i killed my first test rambo style. they're calling it a midterm.. but it's just a test. and how i've already finished 5 weeks of class is crazy. but you dorks at uci.. and ucla.. and the other ass schools haven't even started. oh well.. i'll piss you off during finals week by visiting and bringing random objects from those random place i enjoy going to. wound & wound toy co. you bet!
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
bang bang bang! i shot you. you're dead.
Current mood: learning to fly
i was bored in class.. so my mind wandered off.. i decided to go along with it this time. so.. here's what i picked up from my thinking.. if 'of' is pronounced 'ov' why isn't dof.. pronounced dov. and maybe lof.. pronounced lov. but we all know love is spelled l-u-v. and what would you think if i typed pornounce. that'll be a new unit in my measuring system. 'yes.. you weigh 3 porn ounces.' what the hell?
remember that story of that prince who got messed up by some magic and turned into a frog.. and he had to get kissed to change back.. my brain took that.. and twisted it so much.. that kfc could sell it as one of those twister things.. if they still sell those. so i was thinking.. about some frog who was really a frog.. saying stuff like 'hey. kiss me i'm a prince..' or maybe even something like. 'hey.. homosexual.. kiss me i'm a homosexual prince.' then some desperate person would kiss the frog and it'd go 'aaaahahahaha.. you kissed me.. and i'm a frog.' and that person would run home crying or something.. that's not the assed up part.. this is.. i got to thinking.. if a frog could trick a human.. then surely a human can trick a frog.. so some guy would be running around some sewer pond full of frogs.. going.. 'hey. hey there.. i'm a frog.. could you kiss me so i can change back?' then some frog would kiss the guy.. and he'll be like.. 'aaahahahaa.. you're stupid. i'm a human dummy. and i'm a homosexual. hahahahaha!' and that's when i realized i should be paying attention in class.. because i have a test on monday.. and as entertaining as my thoughts are.. they're just really really assed up.
vaya con dios.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
fishsticks.and.more.
Current mood: exploded
hells bells.. i woke up this morning.. and it felt like somebody hit me.. right in the chest with a bag full of rocks and hard blunt metal.. and other such objects. who the hell carries a bag full of that stuff? hey.. boogy man.. i'm going to kill you.. fucker. damn.. i'm going to blame my lungs.. or maybe my heart.. but i can't stay mad at that thing.. it does such good work with keeping me alive and all. but the lungs.. puh.. they'll get you tired and stuff like that.. but the heart.. woo! it goes.. dum dum dum dum.. and blood just shoots around you. and you're like.. hey.. this is supertastic no?
i was chosen to be the 'guest lecturerereerr.' these retards in my class are going to learn all about acids and bases from my review.. then ask me stupid questions because they won't remember anything i said.. or what the teacher said today, because they're retarded.
but yeah.. went to my 6-7 hours of class today.. and my chest hurt for some reason.. and it sucked. i'll read me some calvin and hobbes and make everything better.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
donkey kong.
Current mood: donkey kong
i've decided to live life a bit healthier.. mainly because.. the way i've been living would probably get a fat guy killed. but luckily i'm rather thin. like a stick. or some kind of paper that isn't as thin as real paper.
but i do like how things work out for me. so.. i'm not going to uci anymore.. that's fine with me.. the newspaper says the uc system is going to take a super hit. not like.. smoking-wise.. but like kick-in-the-ass-wise. but either way.. i guess they're screwed.. except with the smoking.. you get a couple minutes of super fun.. until it goes away. so the newspaper said.. that the uc system is going to go emril style.. and kick tuition up another notch. but what won't be getting kicked up is 'teaching quality' which is going to get kicked down.. way down.. because it's going to get knocked down that low. and if you ask emril.. that's pretty darn low.. like something without garlic.. or.. pig fat or some junk like that.
it would be nice if people used their brains to think more.. rather than just storing information. i think the hell out of my brain.. and it thanks me everyday by giving me the finger when i wake up. and that's why i wake up so early.
uppers:
-3695 strips of calvin and hobbes
-people starting school
-"ohh! my neck is broken!"
-playing donkey kong..
downers:
-smelly farts
-people complaining about starting school
-playing donkey kong.. instead of doing homeworks
Monday, September 26, 2005
i got shot in the thorax.. with a gun. by a white guy in a suit.
Current mood: not like orange juice.
as the chairman of nick's band's engineering department. it's my job to inform the general public through the use of mind control devices and childish fun flyers even though they don't tell me to do these things.. well.. i really haven't done much for them.. but they haven't told me to stop.. so they're just going to have to deal with it. and it looks like mind control devices haven't been invented yet.. soooo. i'm probably going to have to stick with the flyers.
soooo.. the ferns (that's the band) are going to play instruments at chain reaction on october 5th. and one of them sings while he plays his instrument.. so you know you're getting a good show. tickets are $8 or something.. which is my lunch money. i'd go to www.theferns.tk because i'm not a good source of the information.. like orange juice is with the vitamin c.
always with the antics for me.

puh.. and i thought i made something up by saying thorax.. turns out it's something in the lungal area. it sure looks gross when the surgeons are chopping it up.
10:14 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

rrRRrrrr... RRrrrr.. vr.. vrrr.. Vrrroomm
Current mood: peter pan syndrome
safety pins are great. you can stick them through stuff.. then close them. and not get poked.
and on the matter of getting poked.. i have a physics test today.. a chemistry test tomorrow. and a 'speech' test on friday. and i have homework due for statics tomorrow and thursday. and probably some homosexual lab to do in physics and chemistry.. the ones that involve rainbow flags.. and saying gay guy.. is redundant. good thing i did my prelab. that's some ultra pokage going on.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
hijinx.
Current mood: horseshoe.
oh.. what the hell man. this physics guy gots some explaining to do a la 'i love lucy.' i'm going to raise my hand tomorrow and say.. 'you're bustin' our balls.' i'll say it more like.. bawls though. and this girl in my lab group really needs to stop being so retarded.. attatching 2 wires.. or switching the order of the connections at the same node doesn't change anything.. stop trying to make it change.
for some reason i couldn't help myself from repeatedly telling my mom.. 'if a guy has one gun. he's superman. if he has two. he's god.' everytime i saw her.. i'd say it.. one gun.. superman.. two guns.. god... blah blah blah.. i probably told her at least 20 times.. i'm sure at least... and she still hasn't gotten it.. i ask her.. if a guy has 2 guns.. what is he? and she says some junk like.. 'a mugger..' as opposed to her guy with one gun being a robber. so i'm like.. 'no, no no.. you got it all wrong.' and went on to explain to her.. that with one gun.. a man.. a superman can only go.. bang.... bang... bang... bang........ bang..... ba....ng... whereas with two the god can go nuts like.. bannganannbangnanbnangnagnnbangnnannbngngnagnann!!!nagnagn!!bang! she doesn't get it.. i then asked her for a door god.. the chinese have some kind of door god.. and i also asked her for a police god.. the one with the red face that the police in china give thanks to everyday. and if you know where i got this 'one gun superman. two gun god' thing... i'll be quite surprised.. and you'll also understand that the man who created mario isn't a bad guy.. he's just in it for the thrills and kills. he let the sick people get out right? and all of this was done in 'flawless' chinese.. you just don't know that because my chinese is so great.
i know. i know.. you're thinking.. what the hell.. just take that 'what the hell' and add it to my 'what the hell' and i'll have a super 'what the hell' for my physics teacher tomorrow.
uppers:
-itunes update
-ducktales
downers:
-3 test. 2 quizes. 3 homeworks..
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
it's all relative.
Current mood: moot
this is homosexual. i'm working on my 'presentation' which is like a review.. but there's just so much crap to put in.. that i'm leaving stuff out. yeah.. i left the room to take a piss.. and i came back.. and i swear the two transparencies the teacher gave me to use where humping each other.. so i'm like.. awww.. no.. man.. homosexuals? good thing i'm not a transparency. and it's a good thing i'm not sure how to spell that.. or else i'd have to check. and i'm probably not making any sense to you right now. but that's fine.. because the homosexual transparencies gave me some fashion tips so i'll be fl-aming tomorrow.
i told my mom my shit smells like cake.. it doesn't.. unless you really don't like cake and would rather eat shit.. then i guess to you my shit does smell like cake.
i'm running out of my mind..
Thursday, September 29, 2005
two. for peer editing.
Current mood: phan-tostic.
did i already mention that i think the mexicans at jack in the box spit in my food? well if i didn't.. i think they did.. i'm not going to get angry or anything.. because i didn't get sick or anything.. and the me feeling sick was probably going to happen anyway.. so.. i think it's best to just not do a thing about it.. mainly because when i went into the bathroom to take a piss.. somebody clogged up the toilet.. and it looked really gross. and one of the employees are going to have to clean it up. then i started thinking about peanut butter.. and thought.. peanut butter is a lot like shit.. nobody likes the chunky kind.. and now i probably won't be eating peanut butter for a while.. even those nutter butter things i'll probably have trouble with.
so during the hour i have between lecture and lab.. i consumed two of those hershey's cookies and cream things.. so during lab.. i was completely wired.. and started doing strange calculations which confused me.. so.. i did the next best thing.. i started taking shortcuts. the thing about shortcuts is.. it's either a shortcut.. and you're happy.. or it's not really a shortcut.. because it takes longer.. and you don't get happy as quickly.. but you'll still get happy because you took the shortcut. so when the teacher said to put your problem up on the board.. (that's how we roll).. i stuck up my shortcutted problem with the right answer.. but with lots and lots of holes. so it was like swiss cheese.. but without the swiss.. and the cheese.. but major ups on the holes.
so.. at around *:30 or so.. *8.. if you're daft like that. i'm going to start studying for this speech test i have tomorrow.. which i think is really stupid.. i know the difference between right and wrong.. and i'm the last person who'd get pissed at hearing some junk some other person is saying.. i tend to find it funny.. but they want me to memorize a whole bunch of terms that describe how to be 'open minded.' so i'm like.. aaaAawwwawwW.. memorizing is the worst way to use your brain.. or that's what i think. some of you might think.. memorizing is great because you get your A's on your test.. but what's the point in putting your brain through all that if you aren't going to use the stuff again? this is probably the reason why tomorrow.. i'll be saying i went through the test rather fuckily.
Friday, September 30, 2005
10 of spades? ha! 11 of diamonds. i win.
Current mood: kool.aided
so.. i learned today. the best way to get weed out of your system.. without spenind (you know what i mean) money and such.. is to drink a lot of juice. or at least that's what the people in class were saying. so the black girl turned to me and asked.. 'do you smoke weed?' and i said.. 'uhh.. no.' and she was like.. 'shoo.. man. an' i got me a dr-uuug test on monday.' she went on to describe that she was really stressed yesterday so she 'hit it'.. which caused the black guy in my group to just burst out laughing. then he said that he failed a drug test once and spent 6 months in jail.. then he said he was just kidding. he says there's something they sell at GNC that'll get the stuff right out of your system.. but you have to be 21 to buy it.. then the guy named marvin suggested she go on a 'juice fast.'
if cigarette's (they're quite possesive) are legal why not make weed legal? at least you get something out of weed (some quality beats composed in the a.m. for example). i don't know a thing about actually smoking the stuff.. but i do know the government is wasting way too much money trying to get rid of weed.. just legalize it and let people start a business.. and let them make some money.. instead of trying to look like a hero and sticking all that extra money from taking bribes up your ass like the greedy bastards you are. where'd that come from?
Saturday, October 01, 2005
rocket-star champion
Current mood: fuck no
my thumb hurst.. or.. hurts. that's just how much it hurts. so it appears that i've cut my nails a bit too short.. and it feels like somebody's sticking pins under my nail.. but it's not really getting under.. so it hurts where nail meets finger at the end. or.. maybe it hurts because when cleaning out the fish tank today.. i've uncovered that secret stash of shit the fish were hiding from me.. the water turned really cloudy and olive ass green brown. so maybe i've got some sort of parasite that's trying to burrow in under my nail but can't quite get under so he's throwing a fit.. and making my thumb hurt. long story short.. i'm going to say 'fuck it' and play video games or something.
there's this person named 'phuc ngo' in my physics class.. that's just too much. looks like i'll have to stick with the 'hell no' when i want to modify my no's. unless i want to call phuc ngo and express a highly negative answer toward somebody at the same time.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
leslie harrison belives i produce B+ material.
Current mood: pill.zzz
i finally gave my hair a much needed trimmery. and my mother scolded me for not sweeping the chimney. so i turned and looked for the cricket named jiminy.. because.. he's a real good.. something..ery.
i'll be 3 steps ahead of you. so.. you can stare at my ass.
new doraemon comics.. weren't as good as the other ones i have.. but still pretty good. i need some of that flattering lipstick. so i can go.. 'wooo!'
other sorts of randomness later.
Monday, October 03, 2005
yao ming's armchair
Current mood: fired
i think i pulled something while doing that fancy trick kick this morning. so my pants were on the floor.. and i wasn't going to reach down and get them.. so.. trick kicks! and now my leg hurts. but damn.. what a kick.
my brain.. completely checked out this morning in class.. i know this because the little soaps and shampoos that i have kindly supplied for the visitors to use were gone.
i don't remember what it was.. but that girl in my lab did something or said something that made me want to say.. 'what the fuck is wrong with you?' or 'what the fuck is your problem?' i'm trying to rush through things and get the hell out of lab and go home.. she on the other hand.. likes to do things with 500% caution.. which is 400% too much.. and spend as much time as possible before getting the hell out of lab. she enjoys grabbing tape. to tape down paper and other objects because she's affraid it's going to move. she makes everything so difficult.. so i guess that's why i wanted to say 'what the fuck is your problem.'
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
yesterday was like two weeks ago.
Current mood: headach ache
so my car decided to go on strike for a while.. it wants health insurance or something like that.. but it's not going to get it.. because that extra dollar a day or something buys me a chicken sandwich for lunch. and those chicken sandwiches let me answer questions like.. 'was your chicken moist?' and i can say.. 'yes. yes it was.' so my car isn't going to be getting health insurance.. i'm going to hire some scabs to work as my car until this guy cracks... this means my car is broken. and the guy who came to tow my car decided to use caveman techniques to try and revive my car.. but all that smashing and banging was probably making things worse.. although he got the car to make a pretty nice 'click' noise when i turned the key. i think he was happy about that...... let's not tell him.. but it was making that noise before.
i also got a nice amount of second hand smoke from the guy. 'do you mind if i smoke?' today was full of random strangers.. like those fat kids at in and out.. they were talking about how 7-11 or something had the best food.. or something about food.. and fat kids.. hahaha. zoom. like that. go ahead and set your brains to sad... because the next stranger asked me. 'could you spare some change so i can get something to eat.' i then responded.. 'yeah.. i don't got much..' he then said. 'every little bit helps.' and i thought. 'god damn. this guy is brilliant. i don't even care if he spends my 12 cents on drugs.' so i gave him my 12 cents i got as change from in and out.. then contemplated or.. thought about giving him $5. but then i didn't.. then as i ate my lunch i felt like a dick for having something to eat and people like him didn't.. but then i started thinking.. it's not my fault.. it's those depressed eating disordered freaks. they're getting all sad and eating all the food. if they were all happy. then maybe we'd have more food to go around. but because of them.. we're all running out of food. and no i'm not serious.. but if you are sad.. cheer up you fucker. by the way.. the guy was black. woo!
there's something that rolls by my window every night. and it smells. it;s only at night though.. so i don't get it. it smells like.. urinal cakes or sweet tarts that have been corroded by piss. i try and fart so cover up the smell.. but that doesn't always work for 2 reasons. now you can use your imagination.
gooo see the ferns tomorrow.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
mexicans say i'm jellow.
Current mood: fake plastic trees
i don't know what they did.. but my car feels like it's on drugs. bad drugs. the kind where you go.. wawawwwwoo.. or maybe taking my mom's car to school has got me doped out of the old gourd..

one more homework problem.. and my two step action will be complete. these nerds won't know what hit them. i also wrote up the error analysis for chemistry lab using physics terms to confuse the hell out of anyone who asks me about it. yes.. i'll say.

the pH meter reads the voltage difference across the two probes. however due to the fact that the acid is liquid and the resistance in the liquid isn't consistend you can get varying voltage differences. we also know that the electric field is dependant on the change in voltage over the change in distance. and because of the fancy jewelery i wear that, apparently, create magnetic fields.. the electric field is affected.. or effected.. thus changing the dV value and changing the pH reading.

something with that many words may not be right.. but at least it sounds right. my ring really isn't a magnet.. but it like to act like one. i was wondering why the compass always pointed toward my finger. but that doesn't matter.. because i'm sure my analysis is wrong.

my ferns shirt totally shrank. i can only hope that they pop the amps up to 11 to get maximum sound going. hey.. stop screwing us and sticking it on 10.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
R = thursday
Current mood: tossed cookies.
i want to say someting about wesley snipes.. but can't think of anything clever. so i'll just say this. wesley snipes is very very black. black like some sort of charcoal monster with marshmallows for eyes. marshmallows are homosexual.

uppers:
-the ferns going.. duhh, dun dun dgdgdddd.
-quality sideways drummery by nicholas larson
-reading a hard problem and deciding not to do it
-happy shit free fish

downers:
-dismal bassery by nick larson
-losing points for not doing hard problems
-hot dry dusty weather with no cowboys or showdowns.

hint:
the only reason the bassing was sub-par.. was because nick was playing and not nicholas. nicholas is at least 8 times cooler than nick. also i'm not even sure if i spelled 'larson' the way it's supposed to be spelled... like larsen or larghsehn.
Friday, October 07, 2005
'they can't even think straight'
Current mood: it's like prison.
i came home today and i swear the frogs were haveing some sort of homosexual sex that looked like the bigger frog was killing the little one. so.. i'm like. holy shit. so i start tapping the tank trying to get the big frog to loosen up this bear hug type hold it had across the little ones waist-al area. so after about.. 3 or 4 taps.. which is why i say about. i gave up on the tapping and decided to look for something to poke the big frog because he was being a bitch.. but then about half way down the hall i decided that i needed a picture of this.. because everybody likes to see homosexual frogs. but.. they decided to stop being homosexual.. so you're left with a 'meek' description that can't boast the thousand words a picture can. so.. the big frog was giving the little frog the clamps.. like it was about to give it one of those german suplexs. well.. now it looks like they want to be homosexual again.. so here's what you get.

you really can't see the little black one.. and you can't see the quality of the clamps the big frog has on the little one. but at least you get your thousand words. that's good for two 500 word essays. the little black one is that skinny little black frog that's keeping the big white frog from humping the rocks. and the clamps.. don't get me started on the clamps.. brilliant. if the black one happens to be female.. and little tadpoles start swimming around.. then awesome.. except.. i don't think frog reproduce like mammals.. i think there's some egg laying that's supposed to be involved.

the fire drill went off in class today.. which did nothing but make us stand outside for a while. where we discussed how in elementary school we had little disaster bags full of granola bars and other such materials to keep us from running back into a flaming room to grab a ball for kickball. and it's the fire kind of flaming.. not the flaming kind of flaming.

and the big frog is totally sniffing the little frogs ass right now.... and now it gots the clamps on again.. i'm going to have to seperate them.
Monday, October 10, 2005
rock-pockets
Current mood: bearish
we got to use some oscilloscopes in lab today.. and.. guess what? that girl in my group started messing with it.. 93% of me wanted to tell her 'can you stop fucking with the switches.' but the other 7% of me.. which contains my vocal chords and other such materials.. decided to vibrate in such a manner to produce something that went.. "...." which means i didn't say a thing. being angry and acting angry are two very different things. she also mentioned that she had a 16 year old daughter.. which made me think.. 'what the fuck? or should i say.. what the hell.. no no.. what the fuck is right.. what the fuck?' and people who type wtf.. or... people who say wtf.. and they're serious.. are really pressed for time.. so don't waste their time or they'll kill you..

'all that work and it doesn't even work.'
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
fack!@
Current mood: pants.
i'm hungry. fish are awesome.

i need to finish my homework later.

my brother is also awesome.

and now with my homework finished.. i'm happy. what's also great is that a new plastic tree single came out today. this would be great news.. except i didn't know that it actually came out.. until today.. right now to be exact.

and i'm sure some of you are a bit upset about the angels game.. but here's the way you need to look at it. some umpire is going to get his balls smashed with some sort of large hammer. and even if it went into extra innings.. that doesn't mean the angels were going to win. so let's go ahead and give the white sox the win.. and we can all be happy that some retarded umpire will be testicle-less the rest of his life..

the best part of life is the jukes.. although i've learned that juke as a noun is very very different from juke as a verb.

juke: A roadside or rural establishment offering liquor, dancing, and often gambling and prostitution

which is nothing like when i say, 'my nigga. clinton portis. is extremely proficient at pulling and completing jukes. as well as first downs.' i was going to say 'chad johnson.' but that guy's niggaoscity is off the charts.

my 'how to' speech.. will be on 'how to predict the weather' which i think will be a lot better than some other junk... like.. how to play poker.. or breed show dogs.. always be thinking about others before you think about yourself.. that's why i always parked so far at the apartments.. and that's why i'm speeching on weather.. because everybody can relate to weather.. my speech will include such useful tips such as.. buying or stealing supplies. constructing a barometer. and i have no idea what this stuff is.. my original idea for the 'how to' speech was 'how to rob a bank.' but seeing as how that's a bit illegal.. i don't think that'll get me an A.
Friday, October 14, 2005
simple mechanical machines.
Current mood: full of [insert noun here]
the frog water looks like somebody pissed in it. i'm going to have to clean that out later.

perhaps i'd be less nervous if i actually planned for things. but nobody has time for planning. people with those fancy yearly/monthly/weekly/daily/hourly planners need to stop showing off.. or.. wait.. continue showing off because in the time it takes you to write down what you're planning on doing.. i'm already doing. giving me the slightest of edges.. which will really help out when i try and get 'home field advantage.'

i bet the people in my speech class think i'm homosexual. i keep telling them of borderline homosexual acts of males touching males and stuff. and even today i went on to tell them that gender is what you believe yourself to be. and sex is determined by the gizmo that's in your pants.. gizmo! after i told them about the gender thing.. i thought to myself.. 'wait.. that has nothing to do with.. what we're talking about.' i then went on to tell them that gangs lead to violence, drug trafficing (spell checking is for people with low self esteem), and unity.

i also learned that there's 10 steps in preparing and delivering your speech.. which is 4 more than the 6 steps there is in writing. in my head there's only one step for both.. you either talk for a speech.. or you write for writing. revising something.. is useless because even if you fix that one problem somebody else pointed out.. someone else is going to find another problem.. and when you fix that.. somebody else is going to find another problem.. and after 15 people have told you what's wrong with your paper.. and you fixed all those problems.. you hate your paper because it's like 15 people wrote it instead of you. so here's what you do.. write your paper until you like it. print out the two copies so you don't fail the class. get the peer editing done.. and tell that fob you exchanged papers with to keep up the good work.. but remind him that everything isn't plural.. and just stop right there.. because that's all we need to do. tell the fobs to stop sticking S's at the end of everything and we wouldn't need these writing and speech classes. but hey.. at least its funny when they say something like.. 'i cuts the paper for my works job' so let's keep these classes.

my intestines are going nuts.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
sock-pockets
Current mood: other
my organizational skills are equal only to a giant prehistoric kangaroo.. or a giant prehistoric mike tyson. because they'll box the fuck out of things.

i'm tired of seeing the angels lose. and i'm tired of reading about electric fields. i also think that whoever opposes replays in baseball because it would 'cut into the flow of the game' is probably really old and constipated and don't want to be reminded of their constipation every time a play goes into review. but there is no flow in baseball if you really think about.. so maybe they like being reminded of their constipation.. but affraid of being reminded that their constipation can get worse.

blah blah blah.. matt leinart. matt leinart should be in the nfl right now. and with the way things are going reggie bush is going to take over the world.. at night.. and we won't even know it. or be able to see him. did you see him shove matt leinart in the right direction to get the touchdown? that's when the sound guys should stick a clip of denzel washington saying..' my nigga!' and then maybe snoop dogg saying, 'motha fuckin' crack, man'

the world needs it's sports.. and a lot of other things.. like.. warm blankets when it's cold.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
bullet of knowledge, the
Current mood: it smarts.
i went ahead and put a bullet of knowledge right into my head this weekend. unfortunately that bullet of knowledge has killed me. so i may not do too well on this physics test.. because i'm a zombie. unless i manage to extract some nerd's brain.. and put it into my head and fight the urge of eating theh brain. the extra 'h?' why it's for 'hell out of.' as in.. i'm going to kill the hell out of my zombie-self by drinking some caffeine-free holy water.. mixed with sweet-n-low.

uppers:
-pink floyd
-tony hawk on tuesday
-not washing the car and letting nature take care of it
-less baseball on tv
-colder weather which leads to warm blankets and a great sleep

downers:
-listening to too much pink floyd.. and letting the mind run wild
-still some baseball on tv
-using the wrong bullet of knowledge.
-colder weather that leads to.. cold

the stuff in the middle:
-statics test being moved to 'R' (that's thursday)
Monday, October 17, 2005
goodbye. blue sky.
Current mood: rained
rather than testing like a testicle. i was tested like a testicle.. let's just say my test didn't go as well as i thought. but still better than what should've happened.

i woke up this morning and it was sunny and dry. most of you probably woke up when it was already wet and rainy. but i woke up when it was dry. and walking out of class into the rain was awesome. because it was like taking a shower.. while you're fully clothed.. so it just didn't make any sense. but it was damn nice. the only bad part about it is that you have to take a shower after that fake shower you took in the rain. then the stupid traffic light at orangethrope and st. college wanted to get all crazy. i stoped at the railroad tracks and a mexican guy waved at me as he ran across.
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'z' is for zombied.
Current mood: gr. ouch.
i feel grouchy this morning. so i called oscar the grouch and asked him, 'hey, oscar. how do you deal with being such a grouch?' then he told me 'a can of worms a six pack and an open mind.' i'm.. not going to listen to him.

testing.. like a testicle would test. it's fannntastic.
Currently reading :
Physics for Scientists and Engineers (with PhysicsNow and InfoTrac)
By Raymond A. Serway
Release date: 21 July, 2003

Tuesday, October 18, 2005
big ben is a clock.
Current mood: sleepr
the shuffle ran out of batteries today. or the amount of charge on the battery has been reduced to such a small number that the resistors in my shuffle were not able to convert voltage or current or one of those things into power in the form of 'heat.' it's been a while since i've heard my own footsteps. so it was nice.

looks like 'release date: oct. 17' actually means the stores get it on the 18th.. but of course the distributors send it out on the 17th. why not just call it 'release date: oct 18' that way the people who do get it on the 17th can feel really special. damn you corporate america.

we have way too many lists that list things that are 'hot.' and occasionally 'not.' i've decided to make a list of my own.. but can't seem to stray away from a title which contains hot and not. i'll figure something out.

andrew jackson must be turning in his grave right now..
Friday, October 21, 2005
like a fox.
Current mood: clutch.
i was like robert horry on thursday. i totally looked like will smith.. and touched up my last two problems for my statics test right before she said time was up. and the first time i went up to do a problem for chemistry.. i stared at the board the entire time.. but then the next, and last time i went up.. i killed everyone and finished first. then threw up some gang signs and said.. 'dear momma don't cry your baby boy's doin' good.' being robert horry is great.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
i'm probably the person you'd most want to shoot
Current mood: l.l.l.lemonED
the brain has decided to take an early vacation. but i still managed to finish all my homework.. but haven't really got to finishing the so called 'problem solving strategies notebook' the teacher wants us to do for chemistry. i'll end up doing it later tonight.. or maybe tomorrow. all i know is the chemistry test that's on tuesday isn't going to be hard.. it's just going to be filled with so many different kinds of problems it'll make your head spin. which isn't really a bad thing.. i'll jerk my head around during the test and maybe the centripetal force will give me whiplash.. if that's how it works.. if not.. at least people will start thinking 'what the hell is wrong with that guy..' and focus on me rather than the test. it's always the little things. never forget about the little things or else they'll sneak up on you and stab you right in the back with a large butcher knife.. and it'll be like 6 of the little things that stab you because that's how many little things it takes to carry a butcher knife.

the sun finally decided to show. you can thank me because all morning long i've been calling it yeller. and a coward. we had a duel set to go at noon.. and it showed up 2 hours late.. so basically the judge gave me the win.

this is exactly why everybody needs to know how to predict the weather.

i zipped through the new tony hawk in about three days. part 4 is still the best.
Monday, October 24, 2005
a thousand pictures.
Current mood: bu.sy.
this chemistry stategies notebook thing is taking up less time than i thought it would. which is good because i have so many other things to do this week.. but bad.. because i know i'm going to spend that time screwing around. the way i see it is.. the day shouldn't be longer so we could screw around but the day should be shorter.. so we can sit around in a circle and talk about the days when we had 24 hours in a day instead of 12 hours. but when the days do decide to get shorter i'll be the first to say.. 'the fuck with this. i'm going to mars.'

i have a speech due friday.. and i haven't done a thing towards actually preparing a speech.. although i have gone over what i'm going to wear since dress is actually part of the grade. i'm guessing i'll talk about being stuck in china and not being able to trust the chinese weather forcast. so everybody will have to learn to read the weather themselves. i really don't want to tuck in my shirt..

pictures are worth a thousand words.. so why don't writers work harder toward making their writing worth a thousand pictures? i'm not a writer.. so i don't need to worry about this.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
ooh. radishes.
Current mood: still busy.
six hundred million. something about forrests.. no forrest fires. a fox on a leash. a fish with a cigarette. guitars and something about toes. showering and smelling of a 'fresh irish spring' let's thank mr. braun for that one. i coughed, maybe i need new lungs.. then i thought i couldn't think of anything. but when i thought about not thinking about anything i thought of something. radishes. happy marked gumbo.

just sit back and let your mind go nuts. it's a great show.

today's winner of county-wide man test. me. but only because alan man is over on the east coast. so i picked up my semi-boiling beaker in lab and poured out the boiling water that i needed. and cut off about 40 minutes of my lab time.. my hand was quite red after that. but hey.. that's exactly what you get into when you do a man test. i'm not quite sure if it was called a man test.. but i'm going to call it that. for alan man is the man who created the man test. that's a hall of famer right there.
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super. stupor. stup-or.
Current mood: frosted flakes. or cheerios.
today is not going to be enjoyable. although it would be more enjoyable if i had a tatoo across my stomach that said 'thug life' and of course a hitler mustache.. or possibly a handlebar mustache.. hmm.. a hitler handlebar mustache.. we all know that's not going to happen.

i'm not going to eat breakfast.. just to see how crazy my stomach goes during the chemistry test. that'll be good for a laugh.

goals for today:
-finish chemistry paper
-finish physics homework
-start preparing speeching materials

i'm going for the hat-trick. because i'm a hat-trick hero.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
that's what you said.
Current mood: superdupertastic.
that's what i said.

it's language's fault that everything goes wrong. if we didn't have a word for something we wouldn't know what the hell was going on and some of us might even enjoy it. but since we do have a word for just about everything. life is boring.

i wouldn't be procrastinating.. if we didn't have the word 'procrastinate.' or if the word procrastinate meant something else.. like.. super-dupertastic. well, then i'd be super-dupertasticing the hell out of my work.

i should work towards getting things done today. and maybe even work towards getting some work done.. which in turn will lead to getting things done. but at the same time it will get some work done as well.

i like how i leave words out when i write.. like when i turned in my paper for the speech class i typed.. '... i were a girl' which is great because i meant to type.. 'if i were a girl'
Thursday, October 27, 2005
speeches are homosexual.
Current mood: aaaahahla.
well. fuck. looks like the speech has to be about something that's actually useful. the fuck with this speech. it's on drugs. i'm going to ass my way through it and hope for the best.

homosexual.
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the extra 'n' is always good
Current mood: extremely behind in my work
or maybe i'm not behind.. but it sure feels that way.

well. since i'm such a great guy. i have given myself half a day to complete something the teacher calls a 'major speech.' i've scrapped the weather idea and went to penicillin. that's right penicillin. good old world war II style penicillin. made directly from moldy bread and cheese and fruits from your own home. my only problem is figuring out the dosage.. it looks like the only way to find that out is to spend another four years in school.. for some sort of medical degree or something. so the hell with that. dem niggas goin be learn bout that mold growin shit.

hans moleman presents, man getting hit by football in the groin. doink. that's the funnny stuff.

does anyone else want to thank god? thanks. and stop acting like you don't know me.. you're god.
Friday, October 28, 2005
good day.
Current mood: woops.
some sort of insect bit my foot. and now my foot is itchy.. i totally going to kill the next bug i see. unless that bug is a lady bug. they do such good work. or maybe a black widow.. because it may kill me first.

although i do remember for show and tell back in the first grade.. me and my brother actually caught a black widow.. and i brought that in. we had it sealed up in one of those plastic prize ball things you get from those 25 cent turny prize giving machines. and i had that in a paper bag.. and the teacher just told me to put it back in the bag and not open it up. or wait.. it wasn't show and tell.. it was some sort of insect project. yeah. all the other dorks brought in rolly pollies.. and smushed insects. some mexican kid even struggled to grab a snail on the other side of a chain link fence.

so here's the deal with the speech thing. i'm in a bit of a predicament as to whether i should be happy or not. about 75% of the class commented on the way i dressed.. rather than on the way i speeched. the teacher even said something about my fashion sense.. so i don't know what to think.. was my speech so terrible that the only good thing was the way i dressed? no.. no.. they got it all wrong. next speech i give i'm going to wear socks on my hands and a skirt. that'll teach them to give me queered up homosexual feedback about fashion.

the black guy in my speech class made the class ice-cream. he also wore this awesome apron from the fbi.. which was just brilliant to see a black guy wear.

i also saw certain peoples whom i haven't seen in a while. or should it be who?

the mexican culture is great. the best part is the artwork done for dias de los muertos.
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blargh!
Current mood: un-tired
2 hours to speech time.. i have stuff to say. but i still don't know if it will take up 5 minutes.. since i haven't really timed it and such.. oh well. i'll shoot myself in the foot while i'm up there. that'll keep everyone entertained.

i feel like playing tetris attack. that's a quality game. the best guy is that lava monster.

why am i up so early? because i'm awesome.
Sunday, October 30, 2005
marry. your halloween
Current mood: hells bells
what kind of clock changes both your time and your alarm at the same time? it's like the clock from hell or something.. it's totally possessed. and when i woke up the time was flashing 6:66.. so i was like.. holy shit. it's the apocalypse.. so i ran outside to kill some demons.. you know for demon soup and stuff.. but there were no demons.. so i picked up the newspaper.

man.. i totally forgot to stick on monocle on the rich guy on the right. oh well. here it is. give them a listen if you enjoy your tunes. and if you already gave them a listen but don't like them.. try listening to them while you're on drugs.. that way you'll find them extremely enjoyable.. even though you think they're not.

yeah. they got a new drummer or something.. so i was thinking of sticking the line 'new and improved' on there. but then i thought.. how could something be both new and improved? so that's what you get.. smoking dinosaurs hanging out with rich people and a trashcan that's doing i don't know.. looks like it's foaming at the mouth.. oh. and the lochness monster up in the back who can't handle his smoke..

marry your halloween. be sure to keep a gun handy in case some little fuckers decide to be funny and go about with the tricks rather than the treats. so hike up your pants and run outside.. fire off two shots.. preferably in the air. and tell them to get the fuck off your lawn. but yeah.. happy halloween.. marry it if you love it that much.. but that'll probably get very awkward after a while.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
dias de los muertos
Current mood: a loop.
uuuug. so we all know what today is.. we do know. and if you're mexican.. hey you know the hell out of today.. but today is an awesome day. there was this artist that did some awesome work that is totally relevant to this day.. but i sort of forgot his name. so i'm pulling rabbits out of my top hat and looking on google right now.

and. i found the guy. jose guadalupe posada.

and don't even start with the halloween was yesterday stuff.. this is day of the dead. the chinese have a day like this too. except it's not as aawesomely flashy as the mexican one. the extra 'a' there is a typo..

i don't like the idea of coming out of class when it's dark. it makes me feel like i wasted a whole entire day at school.. which i sort of did.. but it didn't feel that way before. maybe i'd enjoy it more if the stupid stars would shine past this homosexual light pollution we have.. but that won't be happening. oh. and stars are the ones that twinkle. don't ever forget that. or i'll call you stupid. the other things you think are stars are actually planets and the sort.

don't ever forget about the dead.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
where the brain goes on vacation.
Current mood: old beans.
today was good right? watch this.. you don't know what's going on. but you'll find out. school is for dorks. which is why i am not fond of it. i got maximum points on my lab which was fantastic. that girl who sits up front had stupid things to say. my stomach said. 'yo. go grab a can of tuna buddy. you don't want to put up with this shit.' on a path into my brain is a 'colossal' amount of physics.. and a touch of salt.. what's good about what i'm doing is.. i can still say damn. and shit. and fuck. and bitch. and.. i don't know. i put my lunch in my stomach. so it said. 'wow. you sooo cool. i must show you around town on a random day. fo' sho'' and i told it. 'oh. word. word..' if i had a job i wouldn't kill any cats or dogs.. but i'd kill a big fat pig with a ribbon on it's tail. following that.. i'd roll down a hill and crash into a barn full of hay. and i'd say.. 'holy shit' if i had a hat it would say 'MAX' in big symbols similar to that. pink floyd has quality sound for my audiotory things. you may think.. 'this is random as fuck.' but i'll say.. 'no way. this isn't random. but you must not grow up. or mr. jackson won't touch you.'

the letter 'e' is a crutch that writers use way too often. and of course thinking like this will come in handy when the boss tells me to give him a reason why he shouldn't fire me without using the letter 'e.' i'll tell him.. 'i'm fantastic boss. your company will fall apart if i go.' and he'll promote me to cheif executive officer of candy engineers. and you'l all be like.. wow.. CEO. that's amazing.

we have something like.. 2 more years of this george bush fellow. i've decided to stop with the 'fuck you george bush' stuff because.. one.. there are millions of others saying the same thing.. and two.. i really don't think it's doing anything. so let's all start with the new 'i love you george bush' and that way.. we'll pull some reverse psychology with the republicans. they'll be like.. 'oh. the democrats love him? oh then we hate him. he's like osama but american..' oh. and when you say it be extra homosexual about it if you're a guy. like pull that wrist thing after you say it and grab his ass or something. george bush loves homosexuals.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
what are the hours?
Current mood: eating dinner
my watch battery died yesterday at 6:50. of course had it been in a rocket ship traveling at some large fraction of the speed of light.. perhaps it would still be running.. or it would've been dead faster.. i still haven't gotten that part down to the point where i don't need to think about it.. but hey.. if it was in a rocket ship going really really speed of light style fast.. something would've been up with the time. get reading on some relativity folks.

i have a test tomorrow in the speech class. and i didn't start studying. i got a 77% last time without studying.. and those who did study got like.. a 88%. so i'm not going to spend my time trying to get an extra 11%. i already got 11 toes.. no point in making them feel left out trying to stick another 11 in my life.

these are always good for a laugh.. of course if you haven't seen the movie you wouldn't get it.. this is spinal tap.
DIBERGI: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
TUFNEL: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
DIBERGI: I don't know.
TUFNEL: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
DIBERGI: Put it up to eleven.
TUFNEL: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
DIBERGI: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
TUFNEL: (Extremely long pause) These go to eleven.

Nigel Tufnel: [on what he would do if he couldn't be a rock star] Well, I suppose I could, uh, work in a shop of some kind, or... or do, uh, freelance, uh, selling of some sort of, uh, product. You know...
Marty DiBergi: A salesman?
Nigel Tufnel: A salesman, like maybe in a, uh, haberdasher, or maybe like a, uh, um... a chapeau shop or something. You know, like, "Would you... what size do you wear, sir?" And then you answer me.
Marty DiBergi: Uh... seven and a quarter.
Nigel Tufnel: "I think we have that." See, something like that I could do.
Marty DiBergi: Yeah... you think you'd be happy doing something like-...
Nigel Tufnel: "No; we're all out. Do you wear black?" See, that sort of thing I think I could probably... muster up.
Marty DiBergi: Do you think you'd be happy doing that?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, I don't know - wh-wh-... what're the hours?

Friday, November 04, 2005
up.
Current mood: down.
myspace has decided to switch all the 'embed' things in the code stuff to some sort of 'blocked content' thing. apparently people enjoy giving others viruses with the 'embed' thing. so i guess it's nice of them to be looking out for us. i don't know what i'm talking about so don't ask. but i did find a solution my problems.. although it is not what i had intended to do. still don't get it? nevermind then.

i'm going to kill my speech class in two weeks with some awesomely super speech about something. i don't know what that something is though.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
cheese.
Current mood: swiss cheese. actually.
the brain feels like it's rolling down a hill. sometimes that's a good thing. but this time it's a bad thing because that hill is covered with jagged rocks and broken glass and death bombs and rabid dogs. so in order to get things.. back in order.. i've made a goals of the week list. not like.. soccer goals but the 'goal' goals. don't fuck with my vocabulary.

goals for the week:
-don't snort any cocaine
-don't eat any yellow snow
-breathe at least once a day
-wear clothes to school

and while all of you are setting yourself up for failure. i'm setting myself up for success.. at least now i am.

and yes. cheese is great. if you get it moist and stuff you can grow some penicillium and if you're great you can pick out some penicillin and ruin your body by eating it because you don't know what the hell dosage you need. but nice try though.
Monday, November 07, 2005
the zog machine.
Current mood: i need to pee.
i have homework due tomorrow.. but i just don't feel like thinking. and it's hard homework so that's just going to make things a lot worse. what i've decided to do is skip the hard problems and maybe.. just maybe they'll magically complete themselves. but with the way today's magic goes it'll probably disappear or get cut in half and put back together or turned into a homosexual white tiger.

i'm tired of getting phone calls from dorks who want me to go vote tomorrow. i'm trying to be real nice about it because i'm sure the callers get a bunch of shit from impatient people who like to complain about getting those calls and on the weekends they hop in their luxury cars and run over kittens.. and of course the people who tend to complain the most are the ones who are actually going to vote. so it's sort of a funny thing. ha.. but it's not that funny.

i really don't like peole who ask stupid questions. and those tend to be the people who kiss so much ass that they believe the teachers when they say, 'there's no such thing as a stupid question.' of course if you're joking.. then it's ok. but buttface in physics is dead serious about her questions. so i don't like her at all.. but she does have a D in the class.. so that's what she gets.

i should really make an effort towards finding a nice place to throw away my trash after lunch..

i decided to place my old circa's in the trunk just in case i should feel like skating and falling on my ass for some reason. and after about 2 months of not using my trunk.. i remembered just how bad it smelled.. it smells like soy sauce.. because that's what i spilled in there. and don't waste your money on a bottle of that carpet fresh stuff.. because it doesn't work on soy sauce.

i've been groovin' on some frank sinatra and elvis.

and it looks like i'll need to re-take my chemistry class that i passed at uci. ffantastic. the extra 'f' is for 'fuck!'
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
retards.
Current mood: fuck.
there is a non-radioactive spider somewhere in my room.. and i have the feeling that it's going to bite me and not give me super powers. this is awful.. just awful.

so i've been getting this racist thing in the bulletins.. people are stupid.. and they really need to think more. so in bold is the bulletin.. and in normal is my commentary.. because people need to stop their bitching and complaining and do something about shit if shit needs to be done.

You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction.
You call me "Cracker", "Honkey", "Whitey" and even "The Man" and you think it's OK.
But when I call you, "Nigger", "Kike", "Towelhead", "Sand-Nigger", "Camel Jockey", "Beaner" or "Chink" you call me a racist.

if you say it and you mean it.. you're a racist. and since when is being called 'the man' a bad thing? i want to be called 'the man.' "did you see what 'the man' did to his pants?" that's awesome.

You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you, so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live

this is really an opinion thing. i think living on the sun is more dangerous.

You have Martin Luther King Day.
You have Cesar Chavez Day.
You have Yom Hashoah
You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi
You have BET.
If we had WET(white entertainment television) we'd be racists.

who or what the fuck would want WET? all it would be is CSpan and 7th heaven all day. you wouldn't be racist.. you'd be stupid. and if you're complaining about holidays.. you have something called president's day..

If we had a White Pride Day you would call us racists.

well yeah.. i don't have a yellow pride day.

If we had white history month, we'd be racists.

you just assume that we'd call you racist. and there really is no such thing as 'white history'

In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights.
If we marched for our race and rights, you would call us racists.

right.. today's top story: a group of white activist protested outside the white house because they're tired of sitting at the front of the bus.

You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it.
But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists.

orange? but it's mainly because when you say it.. you're usually wearing some bed sheets and a pointed hood.. and you're burning a cross.

You call each other "niggas", but when we call you that, you call us racists.

we let you call each other crackers.. and 'the man.' isn't that enough? and there's a big difference between 'nigga' and 'nigger'

You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us.
But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society, you call him a racist.

i'm sure you deserved to be robbed, car jacked, or shot at..

I am white.
I am proud.
I am an American.
But, you call me a racist.
Why is it that only whites can be racists?

yes.. i'm an american too. honestly.. jesus's dad gave us all brains for a reason. use them fuckers.
Friday, November 11, 2005
straight up.
Current mood: weary.
"You know what gang violence is, mostly and the people dont want you to hear this.. somebody shoots your family member so of course you retaliate, You know what i mean. Same thing the U.S does except nobody even shot their family members you know, they see that, somebody bomb a school and all these people get killed so the united states feel like ooh thats messed up we gotta go show em who the real killers. this country was built on gangs, you know i think this country still is run on gangs. republicans, democrats, the police department, the FBI the CIA, those are gangs, you know what i mean the correctional officers, I had a correctional officer tell me straight, we the biggest gang in New York state straight up" - 2pac

it makes you think.. and if it doesn't the zombies probably got to you.

i've decided that i'm going to do my speech on revolution. which one.. i still don't know. of course i'll probably change my topic 3 hours before the speech is due.. and still talk the hell out of it.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
ho-hum.
Current mood: solid.
today the brain decided to fill the day with mindless chatter.. which was extremely distracting while i was studying. so i spent about an hour looking for mozart's double piano super sonata.. or something like that.. well.. let's just call it k.448. and my brain shut up. hooray for the mozart effect. of course a few minutes later it was back to doing this.. 'zoom. zap. is it chicken or fish? i sure am glad that's over.. why didn't you take out the trash? did you take out the trash? if you did then why am i asking..because i've had it up to here with your attitude.' my brain sucks at stuff.

wednesday.. the 16th. we get ourselves a new plastic tree album.. and i'll be going.. 'that's radical man.. absolutely tubular.'

hit play on the music thing and you can groove on the ferns. under that.. i think i stuck some stooges on there. so you can groove on that too. don't like it? then hit the stop button or pause.. or cut off your ears.

and yes.. it's the stooges - tv eye. which is just an supertastically aawesome song. the extra 'a' is for another awesome. i'll try and make a habit out of sticking an aawesome song in there every week.. and if you hit play every week.. you'll be listening to some odd things.

oh. and you can also.. visionally groove on the calvin and hobbes. and if that's not your cup of tea.. you can stare at hide.. who is quite pleasant to look at.
Monday, November 14, 2005
no way.
Current mood: mass.
today's physics test went better than i thought.. but worse than what i hoped. so score one for thought.

my hair has become extremely flaccid.

i totally gained 10 units of force.. that means pounds. and then magically lost 2. then gained 1.5 back after i ate lunch. now.. there's gaining weight.. and then there's getting fat. i totally got some fat going. that's what i get for sitting on my ass.. and the fast food thing can't be too healthy either.

stop motion animation is extremely interesting.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
rotten milk
Current mood: hungry.
let's just say that rotten milk isn't my favorite drink.. in fact.. it shouldn't be a drink at all. so i'm going to say that rotten milk isn't my favorite.even oreos couldn't fix this milk.. it was pretty close to becoming good cheese.. but it was awful. note to self. check the expire dation thing next time. and yes. 'dation' isn't actually a word.. and if it is.. it probably doesn't mean what i think it does .. so you can feel special.. much like my intestines will feel special very soon.. or not.. i tried to dilute the rancid milk with food and sunny delight.. i think it worked.

people try wayy too hard in my chemistry class. up for grabs today was 2 extra credit points.. all we had to do was answer some stupid question on the board.. so while everybody was pissing their pants and trying to get the answer as quickly as possible.. i relaxed and looked over my notes.. and punched out an answer.. even though the answer was wrong because of a 'silly mistake' at least i didn't waste a bunch of energy and a good pair of pants trying to get the answer. rock on. right. i kicked everybody's ass in lab though.. how do you finish all your charts and graphs in less than 10 minutes.. just like that.

it has been brought to my attention.. that the ferns show is this sunday. well hell's bells. my teacher seem to enjoy sticking tests very close to their show dates.

cartoons are great. i like cartoons.

let's all thank iron maiden for allowing me to vent some anger. rock on kids. rock on.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
fuuuuuuck.
Current mood: fat fish.
one of the workers in my brain thought it'd be funny if they switched the meaning of 'value' to mean 'units.' so when i took my physics test.. i didn't find the value.. i found the units. and that little mistake cost me a whole letter grade. rough huh? so instead of getting an easy 80% dropped down to a 70% yep. i fired that guy this morning.

and of course.. i'm sure most of you would probably bitch and complain about something like that. but you have to realize that you fucked up.. and it's your own fault. i totally fucked up. fucked up with a capital F. so it's like.. Fucked up. although i should probably tell the teacher i made a stupid mistake instead of having him think i'm a retard.. unless he already does.. because then i can't do a thing. now that i have that out of my system.. i'm happy again.

hooray for no statics class tomorrow. but booray for the major speech due friday. i'll be speeching on the mozart effect.. which has pretty much melted my brain..

my brain suddenly turned off yesterday after listening to a large amount of mozart's k.448.. which is like the song to listen to if you want to get your mozart effect going.. so yeah.. i listened to some iron maiden to even things out.. and it worked out nicely.

my dad purchased some more fish today. he got these one's called balloon mollies.. and they're really fat.

i found out how much a piece of my childhood is worth.. that little book called 'yellow yellow' that i checked out almost every week while i was at edison goes for about $40 now. there's even one as high as $250.. what the hell man.. it's been so long i don't even remember what it's about.. and when i try and find a copy of it.. they tell me i have to stick it up my ass and give them $40.. stupid fat cats.
Friday, November 18, 2005
flame
Current mood: pants.
how great was thursday? well. maybe yours was bad. but mine was great. i totally ran a red light.. and probably could've gotten into a real serious accident because i zoned out while i was driving.. shut up. i was tired. and my mind was wandering about. but luckily i didn't get killed. too bad for you huh? yeah. halfway through the intersection the light turned green.. but i seriously wasn't even looking at the traffic light before that. rock on. not that running a red light is a good thing.. but living is. hooray for living.

my speech went rather nicely today. i didn't eat breakfast and was somewhat nervous.. and that led to my hands being extremely shakey. and also the stupid computer didn't want to detect my shuffle.. so i couldn't show my power point to the class.. and if you've ever been in a class with me.. and seen my power points you can bet your socks and shoes that it's good for a laugh. of course i was being graded on how well i presented a visual aid.. so i drew a graph on the board.. and people seemed to enjoy it because it looked like a giant boob. and in the feedback somebody thought i said 'yeah' to much.. but i do think it's better than saying 'no' a bunch. so.. yeah.

i saw some seagulls on campus today. it's been a while since i've seen some seagulls.

this week's song is great:

hide - flame [psyence faction version]

a fancy piano version of flame. hide is great. they released this song after he died.. so it's like.. woah.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
rocket.starship.destroyer.
Current mood: no.
i'm quite a character. i got the ups from the candy i ate today.. which is great. but now i'm starting to get the downs.. because of the biological processes which occur in my body. so i'm hungry.

finished a lot of homework today.. but still have more to do. the brain keeps telling me to do other things.

the ferns show was cancelled. which is bad.. even though i wasn't planning on going.. it's still pretty bad. and you know i mean the bad kind of bad. and not the good kind of bad.. because i'm not saying 'hey. that's fucking bad eh?'

after rattling off profanity to my mom in chinese. i struck a pose and ran away.

i really need a rocket ship.. and as soon as i get past the vomit tests i'm blasting myself off into space.

yyess!
Monday, November 21, 2005
easy reading.
Current mood: /:.
i don't feel good about this chemistry test tomorrow. and i don't feel like going to the statics class either. let's all see how it turns out tomorrow.

i feel like laughing. and smiling. like i just ate some of that joker fish from batman. however.. the day just doesn't feel like one of those.. hahahha days.

i learned that downers are a bit more powerful than the uppers when taken at the same time.. or maybe they actually did cancel out and i'm just tired.

doog night.. actually. good night. as i'm looking for a song to put me to sleep.. my brain is telling me to eat a chicken..

i really haven't been myself lately. which makes me think that i'm actually somebody else. vincent van gogh was right.

i stuck a sticker that the red cross sent me on my computer. it says. 'live out of your imagination.' i've taken things quite far.. possibly too far.

being able to solve the rubik's cube isn't something to wow about.

i miss them. i miss them all.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
today sucked.
Current mood: .
that's it.
Friday, November 25, 2005
1=2
Current mood: 1=1. 2=2.
yes. i'm feeling better. but i'm starting to feel really dizzy.

up at the top of the page there's this ad for that esuvee thing. and it says something about play the game. i enjoy my games.. and i was bored. so i clicked it.. and i was thoroughly disappointed. it tells me that i need to stick my seatbelt on before i start.. so i do that. then i start going. and i think. 'it's a game. i'm going to have some fun.' so i crash into a wall.. 10% because it looked like fun.. and 90% i didn't know how to stop.. and the game tells me about driving recklessly and keeping my esuvee 'on all fours.' cars don't have fours to stay on.. wheels aren't fours. so the brain says.. 'the fuck with this.' and i see a hill that looks climbable.. so i charge at it.. and the game stops me and tells me about reckless driving again.. what the hell.. it's a damn suv. this shit is supposed to be made for off-road stunts. well.. after that got boring.. i decided to speed down this nice strip of open road.. i see the speed limit signs say. 65 mph. so i speed up to 70.. but then the ass monster that i'm driving around decides to crap out and stop. what's wrong with this damn thing? well.. that's enough of that.. how can this stuff be legal..

today's shave didn't feature the area under my nose. let's see how long this 'hitler mustache' of mine lasts.. but.. i am lacking in the facial hair department.. so this probably won't go as planned. i also gave my hair quite a chop this afternoon. i trimmed off at least half a pound. and i'm back to the no styling one inch of shortness hair.. of course with the longer fancy if you style hair.. i rarely do style it.. so.. all i really did was make myself look less lazy by chopping down to a length that is unstyleable.. or at least in my opinion it's unstyleable.. homosexuals might say otherwise.

and just to get you thinking.. if you haven't already.. the proof that 1=2. of course a math nerd will tell you right away why it's wrong.. a math dork will see why it's wrong.. and those who aren't good at math won't care at all because they hate math already. rock on.. here it is.

if x = y, and x and y are greater than 0, then 1 = 2

1. x = y
2. xy = y²
3. xy - x² = y²- x²
4. x(y - x) = (y + x)(y - x)
5. x = (y + x)
6. x = 2x
7. 1 = 2

and if you can't follow that..

step 2: multiply both sides by y
step 3: subtract x² from both sides
step 4: factor both sides
step 5: divide both sides by (y-x)
step 6: substitute x for y.. because x = y
step 7: realize that you fucked up..

no. i didn't find this out myself.. but i did find where the mistake is. rock on kids. rock.on
1:46 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

throwed up. throw uped. threw up.
Current mood: much better.
nelson didn't feel well yesterday. in fact. after eating his thanksgiving meal. nelson threw up his thanksgiving meal. it was gross. but i'm feeling much better now. thank you.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
rabbits and steroids
Current mood: lost
i stuck an old bitter and grouchy sound card into my computer. and things are sounding.. better than before. but it still got that ass thing going.

i finally figured out that i goofed on calculating the concentration of my iron solution.. i realized this when my þ in the solution came out to be.. 174% which would be great it this was an exam or something.. but it's real life.. so things should only come in 100's or less. my new correct percent in solution is 7.14% which would be bad for testing but fine for real life-ing.. thug life.

there's this guy named art monk.. and he's just great.
from the bcc or something i found..
the top ten Britons in order of greatness:
1 Winston Churchill
2 Isambard Kingdom Brunel
3 Isaac Newton
4 William Shakespeare
5 Charles Darwin
6 Diana Princess of Wales
7 Queen Elizabeth I
8 John Lennon
9 Horatio Nelson
10 Oliver Cromwell
it's nice to see john lennon up there. and i also like how they ordered them by greatness. i should start doing that. and even though sir isaac newton is the biggest ass ever.. he should be number one. these bloody wankers are kick in the knickers. ole.

uppers (in order of greatness):
-sounding nice
-homosexual frogs
-being correct. and not right.

downers (also in order of greatness):
-short hair
-snowman vs. bloodman
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
assless.
Current mood: dusted.
i'm thinking about taking the underpants business by storm.. with thunderwear. it's like underwear.. but with lightning bolts across it so it looks really cool (not really) and it makes you really fast. i got the idea after this car with flames painted all over it gave me a large amount of dust to eat.. i thought sticking the lightning on underwear would be best seeing as how sports are cracking down on steroids and other forms of performance enhancing stuff like.. being black.

right around 4 i was prepared to have my ass handed to me.. because there was this test.. and i didn't study at all.. and there was homework due.. which i didn't do. then a couple of students complained.. and the test was moved to thursday and the homework was also moved to thursday. so as of right now i'm assless because.. my ass wasn't handed to me and i don't know where it is.

if you take the so-called 'calories' on a package of ice-cream.. and calculate the amount of calories your body needs to heat the ice-cream to your body temperature.. you actually get negative calories.. which means you can burn calories just by eating ice-cream.. but if you really want to know the truth.. and you probably already know.. you're just going to get fat if you just eat ice-cream.. and you'll get one of those brain freeze things if you eat it fast enough too. for some reason the nutrition people decided that their 'nutritional calorie' will be equal to 1000 normal calories. so screw them. they should just fix it over night.. and literally scare the shit out of people with 5000 calorie sticks of gum and super billion calorie cake.

"i like candy i like cake i like jam but goodness sake.. there's nothing as sweet as my baby."

hank williams is awesome. again.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
bad week and monstro
Current mood: monstro!
the week really ends on thursdays. friday doesn't count as a day. and the weekend is just an excuse time has for not having better days.

and so ends one of these bad weeks for me. the fuck with it. where's next week? next week is taking it's sweet time and will be here in about 3 days. what a selfish bitch. save some sweet time for us you mother fucking week.

since i was completely drained at 1.00.. i went and bought an energy drink.. the first one i saw this amp stuff that mountain dew makes..well next to it was this 'no fear' drink.. but since i was looking for the 'no tired' drink i got the amp instead.. and after i tasted it i probably should've looked a bit harder to find a monster or redbull.. it was el terrible. totally the terrible.

did you see what happened to dumbo when he got drunk? you people who really want to get drunk need to get some of that stuff he was drinking. and monstro needs to learn how to smoke better. how are we going to get kids to smoke if the cartoon whale can't handle his smoke? a whale like that should be smoking.. like.. giant septic tanks full of tabacco. monstro is great. monstro always makes me smile.

and for those who have nothing to really look forward to with mr. bush.

what america needs is a swift kick in the balls. what george bush needs is a face melter.. so he can melt his face. and where the hell is my people's republic of america? oh. and how about that clinton character? and when the did the embassy get bombed?
Sunday, December 04, 2005
opium.
Current mood: opiumed.
i finished things rather early today. and now.. i don't feel like doing anything. so i'm going to go to sleep and hopefully when i wake up.. i'll remember that i forgot to do something so i can freak out.. and now.. i'm wondering if you can actually remember that you forgot.. so i'll put sleep on hold. and maybe transfer the call to my supervisor who will decide what to do.

i really need to learn how to cut hair with scissors.. or find a clip that's longer than 1 inch. short hair is boring.

i got a kick out of listening to chinese radio today. they were talking about sports. and how yao ming is assing things up and being boring to watch. and how the lakers are 'upsetting.' they also refered to brett favre as the 'iron man' which i thought was funny.. because everybody knows tony stark is the real iron man. and they kept mentioning some team called the 'yellow horses.' it would be nice if things translated properly.. but since we live in america.. they can say whatever the hell they want. then they started talking about cooking and stuff.. and people were calling in. they then said something that sounded like 'smoke' but i don't think they meant smoke.. until the next caller said she 'smokes black pepper.' i then realized the show wasn't about cooking.. but about drugs. and that lady was a 'black tar' opium addict. the chinese sure do love their opium. every sunday at 5.. the chinese go over the day in sports.. then go into the world of opium. fanntastic. with two n's.

uppers:
-opium and chinese history
-1 more week of schooling
-speeching about human cloning
-organizing my music

downers:
-the actual smoking of opium
-2 weeks of finals. ending on the 21st
-running out of things to do.

everything else:
-the sun
-the moon
Monday, December 05, 2005
quite aware.
Current mood: you're in denial
all the stuff that i thought would go wrong didn't.. but everything that i thought would go all right.. went wrong. lab was a bitch. homework is going to be a bitch. everything.. is turning out to be female dogs. which means the stupid dog pound isn't doing its job.

a paper stuck to a tree in the neighborhood where i park for free said:

lost dog
boxer
reward!

and some other stuff that didn't catch my eye. so some guy who fights dogs is lost.. mike tyson must be turning in his grave.. or he would be if he was dead.. well he's dead on the inside.. so his insides are turning. which is giving him some very unpleasant bowel movements.. and again.. the dog pound isn't doing its job.

it's not that i have something against the pound.. or maybe i do.. but i'm in denial. and i'm aware that they were talking about a dog.

gerry and the pacemakers - you'll never walk alone
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
general tojo. the hero.
Current mood: cloned.
i don't like what we're doing in chemistry right now. this stuff is on drugs. and it's completely doped out of its gourd.

in science we use latin slang that totally throws people off. silver? no.. we're talking about argentate over here. you look really stupid if you say silver.

can anybody explain to me.. why there are sheep along the outskirts of campus? i walked by them the other day.. and they totally smelled like ass. one of my classmates suggested that we bring random bits of food to feed them.. like in napoleon dynomite. eat the fucking m&m's you fucking sheep. and they won't eat it so i'll eat the m&m's and i'll be happy.

into the rock 'n' roll hall of fame.. black sabbath. blondie. sex pistols. and lynyrd skynyrd. and miles davis. but that's not the point. the point is.. lynyrd skynyrd is spelled with all y's. so phil was wrong. but everybody was wrong on that day.. except for richard.

i found out i don't need to take retard level writing. so i'll have 12 units.. which is.. easy as pie? or maybe a piece of cake. which is good because i'm really skinny and need to add some mass to myself.. hopefully in the form of.. like 4 extra arms and another set of legs.. and maybe a tail would be good too.

so i'm trying to make this pamphlet about human cloning.. of course that's a lot of work.. and i have about 2 days to do this stuff along with other things. so maybe a simple flyer will do.

the tojos got america today. december 7th you retard. and so started a huge wave of racial cartoons which were very funny at the time. and even funnier now. thank you general tojo.
Monday, December 12, 2005
zzz
Current mood: number 9.
sometimes you just don't feel like doing anything.

'you may say i'm a dreamer.'

now playing:
billie holiday - strange fruit
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
strange fruit.
Current mood: not strange fruit.
i'm tired. or hungry. i'm not sure which one..

myspace or geocities is chopping up the songs i upload. or maybe it's something else. today is full of uncertainties.. like the fact that i didn't know what to wear to school today because i had no school. finals week is great.. until you have your finals. but then after that it's great again.

well.. go ahead and give the billie holiday song a listen. it's about somebody getting lynched. not that lyching people should be some advertising gimmick.. but it's quite haunting in a person dying type of way.

the song's called strange fruit. and the strange fruit is referring to the white folks.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
square mustache
Current mood: chee
i need to wake up. but idon't drink coffee. the idon't is the latest thing from apple. they make such wonderful things.. but only rich nazis can afford them. hitler had an apple.. people look down on him a bit too much. i'm not saying we should all be skinheads. but without him where would the world be today? half of us wouldn't even be here.. but then without him.. there's another half that would be here.. it's quite perplexing.

hitler's still a dork. so let's not follow him. and he's dead too. but we should really respect a guy who can grow a square mustache.. or any mustache for that matter. it shows his manliness. he could be a lumberjack if he grew a beard.

and if we do plan on cloning him from his brain that's in a jar in the archives in russia.. the cloned hitler.. won't actually be hitler. sure they'll be the same genetically. but his personality will be completely different. after doing a fancy speech on human cloning.. i would know. so you stick some of your hitler cells into an egg.. zap it alive.. then stick them in some lady. and out pops a baby hitler. then you stick baby hitler on a farm. and the new hitler will become a farmer. and we'll be able to buy farmer adolf's extra spicy breakfast sausages. of we could let wang 'the flying great wall' zhizhi raise him. and we'll have a 3 point shooting god-child.. fun.

where's my fucking sovereignty?
Friday, December 16, 2005
driving.
Current mood: pork.
i was hauling so much ass. how much ass was i hauling? thiiiis much. because i haven't worked my ass off. so i still have ass to haul.. that sounds pretty gay. i'm going to stop.
Sunday, December 18, 2005
fack. part 11
Current mood: prime rib
sometimes you want to say.. 'fuck it' or 'the hell with it' or 'the fuck with it.' because sometimes.. you feel like you just got hit with one of those turnips from mario 2.

yao ming is in town to play some basketball. and i'm always in town to watch some basketball. of course football is on right now. and those redskins are doing quality work. a bit of football history for those of you who care.. back when the nfl was just getting started. like in 1940.. the redskins beat the bears 7-3. the redskins owner george preston marshall talked a whole bunch of shit after the game. possibly because he couldn't find a toilet.. and it just had to come out some way.. or something.. and two weeks later in the championship game... the redskins would play the bears again.. and this time the redskins got totally raped.73-0.. for the most lopsided defeat in nfl history. i should rewrite history.. because the one we have to read about is boring.. and probably inaccurate.

tony hawk is extremely fun again for some reason..
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
i should do more reading.
Current mood: hm.
one of those ads up top is telling me to 'get the rapper and get your free cell ringtone.' and there's this ugly white guy moving around the screen. if you click it.. the guy's head gets blown off. i really don't think that's the proper way to get things.

yao ming's toe is messed up. he'll get better after eating some ancient chinese remedy which consists of tiger penis, monkey ass, and elephant legs. wang zhizhi is totally jealous.

del harris is funny. and he says.. 'i'm fucking funny... you wish you could fuck funny.'

i just did the math for my physics grade. if i don't take the final.. i'll get a C. but i think we actually need to be there or something.. or we fail. but that doesn't matter because i don't want the C. to get a B i need 56 points.. which is a 36_n the final. to get an A i'll need 154 points.. which is 100àand that'll get me an 80.1_n the class.. which is just enough points in this class where 80_s an A.

there are a lot of mistakes in this book that the teacher wrote.. let's hope everybody else hasn't noticed. i wonder why i didn't say 'let's hope nobody else has noticed.'

i'm going to be like frankenstein and create a monster that picks flowers and kills people.

hi george bush.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
no idea.
Current mood: ?
i don't know what the hell happened to my page. all i know is the html and css stuff was acting up.. probably because i added an extra period somewhere.. but i don't know where. so i got rid of it all. i'll fix it later.. just like i fixed the 2004 presidential elections... take that america! i guess that makes me a terrorist.. because you're totally fucked now.

¡wow!
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
cho!
Current mood: a
finals are over. the car didn't flip over. and relatives from canada are coming over. lots of things are over.

perhaps i should look into buying a larger clip for the clippers.. or maybe learn to cut hair with scissors.

i couldn't sleep last night. it was awful.

have you ever seen a movie called king of masks it's pretty good. bullet in the head is also pretty good. they're in chinese..

nothing special about the physics final.. i'm pretty sure i got my B.. although i'm still somewhat optimistic about my A.. not that A.. the letter grade type A. i'm always optimistic about that A.. but there was a couple of questions that were like.. what the hell ben? ben is the teacher.. that's what we call him. why can't electric and magnetic waves lie in the same plane? eh. that's not the good stuff.

during half of my finals the teachers offered us free food. that's nice of them. the best thing was those after-the-shot style lollipops you get at the doctors. i didn't take any.. but i found that amusing. ben gave us donuts. and again.. i didn't take any or it would ruin my test taking strategy.. it's bulletproof.. but it really doesn't work that well when there isn't a curve. we were also offered cookies.. that were not made by the teacher. she wanted to emphasize that part for some reason. the class before us got water and muffins..

i got a B in chemistry because i assed up the scantron part. so instead of increasing my grade by the 3 percent that i needed to get an A. i decreased it by 4 percent to get a B. how great is that? getting about half right on the scantron? yep. that'll do it.

the speech teacher told me that i didn't seem credible during my last speech. but she didn't give me a reason. she could've just said.. 'you're chinese' and i would've understood perfectly.. but instead.. she didn't say anything.

seeing as how we were never going to be tested on 1984 in high school.. i never read it. it was assigned.. but i didn't read it. so i'm going to read it now. since a lot of people like to refer to things in that book. and maybe when people talk about big brother.. i won't be thinking.. skateboarding magazine.. or jason pi.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
out of control.
Current mood: van
my dreams are wierd. i was going to eat a bowl of snakes.. they were like.. fried or something. but then one of them jumped out and bit my hand and i freaked out and woke up. if some psychologist dream expert could tell me what a bowl of snakes means.. that'd be awesome. although i did watch the second indiana jones again.. but that was like 2 months ago.. i don't even like snakes. perhaps my brain thinks that i'm going to china.. where they serve that snake wine.. with a snake in it. then when i fell back asleep.. some person was getting yelled at for driving an rc-car around.. and i got really excited when i found out where to get a snapple (they were 'over there'). then i ended up at the apartment.. and i don't know if i was moving in or out.. but there was something about wine and newton's cradle.. i don't remember exactly what.

'my old man can't get a beer because his old man won't give another old man a bear. let's get him!'
Friday, December 23, 2005
people with shovels.
Current mood: terrified.
perhaps i should learn how to ollie.. or actually learn the names of certain chords. or maybe i should do all the reading that was assigned to me in high school.. but i never actually did. as of right now.. i'm getting a good mix of all of this junk in. getting the board off the ground is still pretty tough. the chord thing would be easier.. maybe if i knew some theory.. musical theory.. i'm full of other theories. and the reading is boring.. so i'm substituting almost everything with a large amount of video games..

funny story. though.. or maybe it's not such a funny story. i want to write storry for some reason.. but i finally finished gta: san andreas.. but before i finished i had to do some firetruck mission where i put out fires. it's timed and stuff. so i'm crashing through traffic.. probably killing more people than i'm actually saving.. but i crashed into this one car.. and i was stopped putting out a fire. and some lady with a shovel somehow got on top of the firetruck.. so i'm like.. 'oh shit. i'm going to end up like that adolfo kid...' so i put the fire out.. the lady starts smashing the top of the firetruck.. so i start speeding and pulling all the tricks out of the bag and my sleaves to try and get her to fly off. but she's like glued on the top or something.. so i tried spraying her with the hose that's on my firetruck and she still wouldn't fall off. so i finally said screw it.. and continued with the mission.. with a lady smashing up my car with a shovel. about 20 seconds later.. the lady falls off. and i'm about to put out the last fire.. and i get really excited.. so i don't know if i hit the r3 button.. or if i accidentally ran over the person i was supposed to save.. but the screen said. 'mission failed' or 'mission ended' or something.. more games should be like tony hawk.. things are less complicated that way.

a person chasing after you with a shovel.. might be one of the scariest things in the world. why exactly would a person carry a shovel around in their car? because it's damn scary. absolutely terrifying. next halloween somebody should be the guy with the shovel. and just scare the shit out of everybody.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
merried. married. buried.
Current mood: skin of the red
i'm just going to say merry.. because all this talk of christetmachannukwanzramamaseastpatvalenweengivingday.. has really gotten out of hand. so be fucking merry. and not just now but all the time.

oh. yeah.. how 'bout them redskins?
Sunday, December 25, 2005
to you. from me.
Current mood: low
murry chrizmiss.
Monday, December 26, 2005
tiger shoes.
Current mood: melancholic.
when i was little my grandma made me a pair of tiger shoes.. they were shoes.. but they had these stylish tigers on them. not like.. some stupid logo of a tiger.. like a pair of nikes.. but real tigers. the head was at the toes.. so i could run around.. and people wouldn't mess with me. and i said. 'don't fuck with me fucker. these tigers will kill the hell out of you.' actually the shoe might have had a lion on it instead of a tiger.. or maybe it was some other killer cat.. but whatever it was.. you were fucked.

i tire. like a wheel.

now playing:
plastic tree - rocket
Thursday, December 29, 2005
no coke.
Current mood: mormon.
doom 3 is absolutely terrifying. i turned a corner looking for some health.. and a zombie was there and it started moaning and stuff. and it slapped me. it surprised the hell out of me. so i shot the hell out of it.

i feel like buying something.. but i don't know what to buy.

i tried playing the guitar today.. but put it back down after i kept hitting the wrong string.

if i made hooks. would that make me a hooker?

i like how my grandma is doing better after she got a pacemaker put in.. although i thought the doctor that told her to drink beer probably would've come up with a better solution.. and i'm 100% serious about the doctor telling her to drink beer. and she did it too. my mom would bring her a bunch of beer every weekend.. usually budweiser.

sounds good. unless you're deaf.
Friday, December 30, 2005
doom3.
Current mood: aiii~!
ok. i'm going to stop playing doom 3 now. because, one.. it's scary. and two, it's making me freak out whenever something happens. i'm going to blame those spider things. they're constantly scaring the shit out of me.. maybe i can try playing while i'm in the bathroom..

the guitar playing sounds extra nice today for some reason..
Saturday, December 31, 2005
new.year
Current mood: easy.
i'm going to try my best to keep this year.. nice and shiny and fresh.. the way a new year should be. i'm not going to let it get old.. and rotten like those tomatoes i found in the refrigerator that one time.. of course.. i still have about a month to prepare for the real new year.. this non-lunar one is like practice.

happy new year. let's try and keep it new. and if you mess up your new year.. at least take out the year polish and make it look new. that means you mr. bush. no more fucking around.

and it says, "remove all types of unwanted mass from the body. or replace with wanted mass."
Sunday, January 01, 2006
wilson says.
Current mood: c.old
my body decided to bring in the new year by producing large amounts of urine.. that's the price you pay when you're the souper bowl mvp.

it's very cold. i feel the need to put on mittens.. but all i have are gloves. i should buy myself a pair of mittens.. and sew them to the ends of my sleeves so i can look retarded.

i have to remember it's 2006. and happy 2006.

i'm sure people will pay money to see a kangaroo fight a baby elephant. people will probably pay money not to see it too. so what i need is a kangaroo and a baby elephant.. then after that the only thing i'll need is a tophat.. and a fishstick company because i'll be rich.
Monday, January 02, 2006
"dang ol' mittens."
Current mood: a cold one.
my mom was looking through some old pictures and there was this guy that looked like chairman mao.. so i asked her if it really was chairman mao.. and she said 'no. how can it be chairman mao? we're not related.' but i said we are.. because he's like the father of china.. but if you really know your chinese history.. you'll be telling me that this sun yat seng character is the real father of china.. you're probably right.. but chairman mao is just funny.

if you're lucky you'll get to see this mexican guy called 'raper' under the cool new people thing. i clicked on it.. wondering who the hell would want to be a raper. then after seeing a picture of him in a bulletproof vest possibly rapping a rapping tune.. i came to the conclusion that he meant 'rapper' and not raper.. well, maybe he does want to be a raper.. but i don't know. thug life!

i'm becoming less and less spooked by doom3 the more i play it. but those spiders still freak me out. although they're starting to be replaced by these babies with wings.. somebody over there likes their drugs. and it seems that the guy with those eyes has some sort of evil plot for the world.. i'm also stuck at this one part because i can't find some code for the computer.. and the guy in the monorail won't let me back in for some reason.

how about this rain we're having? it's great. people forget how great the rain is.. in fact. people forget lots of things. we live in southern california.. we should be happy when it rains. there's no risk of getting skin cancer, you don't need to wash your car, we get to use umbrellas in a way they weren't intended to be used, and the sun comes out right after the rain rolls through and it looks extra shiny because of all the water. still want to complain about the rain? well fuck you. why don't people complain about the sun? it's killing us with cancer and we still love it.. i'm quite aware that the chinese rain can really mess people up.. but we live in anaheim. the only thing we need to worry about is mickey mouse.. and mexicans.. mexicans who want to be rapers.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
super pants.
Current mood: hi-ho.
necromance has such interesting things. and the lady who works there is super cool.. but i think it's wierd how she pets her taxidermied animals.

i just read this article that says jesus was a cannabis user. that could explain a lot of things.. too bad i don't know what i'm talking about.. so nevermind.

i don't know why.. but my brother got me one of those criminal type ski masks. it's funny and stuff... but i can't wear it.. because people will start calling the cops. he says.. 'here.. it's illegal in california.' he's funny.

and along the lines of things illegal in california.. why can't people buy those giant conan type swords? this is exactly why we don't get any good larping groups in california.. and i'm kidding.. but if you need a good laugh.. you should find out what this larp thing is.. at least they're getting exercise.. i think..

music sounds good. i don't know what happened to 'punk' music.. punk used to mean prostitute. which i find very funny.

now playing:
johnny thunders and the heartbreakers - chinese rocks
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
postal money order
Current mood: bear-y good.
all people want to talk about is the rose bowl.. well.. the rose bowl and people getting shot. but they talk about people getting shot everyday. you'd think we'd be tired of this stuff by now, but people are extremely interested in people getting shot. why else would 50 cent be so popular? i'm pretty sure it's because he got shot.. like.. 9 times or something. i mean.. sure other people get shot like once.. but they don't get anything for it. have a friend shoot you in the leg or something. you'll be in the paper. and you get all the free hospital ice cream you can eat. it worked for forrest gump.. but that friend might have to move to mexico or something..

let's talk about the rose bowl.. roses smell nice.. that's all i have to say because all these sports 'pundits' won't shut up about everything else. and in the paper today there was this painting of matt leinart.. and they made him black.. superb.

i went to get a money order made out today.. and the guy at the post office was on happy pills or something. he gave me the wrong change and stuff and he was saying all this stuff.. and i just laughed. more people need to be like him.

i think it's really classy to stick the 'e' at the end of words.. like theatre. or centre. those are the only ones i can think of right now.. but isn't that classy? that's what you spend your money on when you're rich.. you spend it on moving all the e's around so you look extra classy.. you don't spend it on truffle.. because truffle tastes like rotten yogurt. yes.. i've had both. and you also don't spend it on that shit coffee from some animal's ass. that's gross. and call me nlsone.. when i'm rich.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
i'm cool. like a refrigerator.
Current mood: new york steak.
utah's state bird.. is the california seagull.. the same ones that had us worried about getting pooped on in high school. how does that work? maybe there's a reason.. they do have that lake.. but some of this state stuff is pretty retarded.. it looks like a couple of states i've been looking at have state fossils. arkansas pretty much has the best state motto.. "the people rule." i think that rules. then there's state drink.. where just about every state has milk up there.. and also under state dance.. a lot of them have square dancing. maybe we need to get this stuff updated. and i ate california's state bird. how bored am i? pretty damn bored if you couldn't tell..

i'm pretty awesome at the junior college. two A's and two B's. i got a B in physics because is this electromagnetic stuff.. that i'm not good at in the first place. and the other B was in chemistry.. which wasn't that difficult.. but after i got an A on that first test and the teacher told me to keep doing what i was doing.. which was nothing.. i ended up with a B.. i also missed certain parts of the first semester because uci doesn't like me. i'm taking what i missed this semester. and an A in speech.. where i thought i'd get a B.. i must've really killed that final.. even though i was rushing my way through it because i wanted to get the hell out and go pee. and the other A was in statics.. which wasn't really expected.. but there was a good chance that i'd get the A. fannntastic.

it's great because i can spell stuff with my grades again. there's not much i can work with.. but at least i got a vowel.. let's make that two vowels.

and i don't think i've said anything about this orbit citrusmint.. which is 'the best gum ever.' i'm sure i'll offer you some if i see you. but feel free to ask for some of 'the best gum ever.' lebron's lightning lemonade is a funny gum.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
pills.
Current mood: took.
here's what you do with drugs. you take them. vitamins. you take those too. those pennies by the cash register at the 7-11.. you can take those too. but then you have to leave one.. so things aren't as simple as the drugs and vitamins are.

this album i'm listening to is 'good for your ears'.. that's what the doctor told me. but then i found out he wasn't really a doctor.. but he was right about it being good for my ears. give it a listen if you want.. there's this thing about not being able to put your arm around a memory.. and it's great.
Currently listening :
Hurt Me
By Johnny Thunders
Release date: 07 October, 1997

Monday, January 09, 2006
instant winner!
Current mood: hospital bed.
these under the cap things are awful. i'm pretty sure they used to say.. 'sorry. please try again' or something.. i'm pretty sure there was a sorry in there. now we're getting these ones that just say.. 'please try again.' they aren't even sorry anymore.. that's really not cool. but it's really refreshing when you get your liquids.

i played some street fighter with my brother yesterday.. he kicked my ass..

'i' messages are.. the best form of communicating or something. stuff like.. 'i hate you.' instead of.. 'you make me hate you.' and then there's something about some other stuff that i forgot.

i wonder what would happen if i told a black guy that his hair looked like a field of corn.. or if i told some skinhead that their head looked like an ass without a crack. i'm pretty sure the black guy would be cool with it. and the skinhead would kick my ass and tatoo a giant swastika on my belly.. then kick my ass again. the world sure is a fucked up place.

i just got a butt-load of music. and it's one of those large butts that black people like.. so you know i got a lot.

the whole 'pill' thing is really great. ever play dr. mario? if you did you should know what i'm talking about.. if you haven't.. it sort of like.. what fat people go through when they see candy in a magazine while they're stuck on a desert island with nothing to eat.. well.. not really.

so this new york dolls song got stuck in my head.. it seems to be really stuck in there too.. like somebody put that gorilla glue on it.. and just stuck it in my head. i actually never tried gorilla glue.. but it's usppoes.. supposed to be the 'toughest glue on planet earth.' my fingers have a mind of their own..

now playing:
new york dolls - pills
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
i say 'hell' because it's cold. [take 4]
Current mood: lasers from my eyes.
well. damn. in 6 days i have to be at school.. in about 10 minutes.. i'm really more of an afternoon person. this is way too early.. how the hell was i able to get to school by 6 in high school? the hell with this. i'm going to watch some cartoons.

some nerds decided it would be a good idea to release the new yellowcard album a bit early.. which is good for me. but i guess really bad for yellowcard. i'm sure people who like yellowcard a lot will enjoy the album.. and maybe even think.. 'yeah. i'm sooo fucking punk rock. yeah!' what the hell happened? vivienne westwood would be turning in her grave if she were dead. but she's not. but seriously.. does this stuff count as 'punk'?

since there are so many hours and even a couple of couple of minutes. that's not a mistake.. between 7:00am and 3:04pm.. lots of things can happen. such as.. today's run went rather well. but after the run my left leg felt rather odd. also, drinking water from a plastic cup doesn't taste as nice as water from a paper cup. i don't know why.. but things out of paper cups taste better for some reason. then there's the whole glass cup thing.. where you don't know if it's a cup or a glass.

i finally got my itunes working again.. so things won't sound like you're stuck under water.. i fixed the sound before.. but after i updated everything itunes wanted to be really cute and reset all my settings.. that's what it wanted to be.. but it wasn't.. sort of like one of those ugly dogs that sniff your ass. that's not cool.
11:50 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

bird sars.
Current mood: gallbladder.
i tend to get pasadena and pomona confused.. they both start with 'p'.. they both end with 'a'.. you'd have to be pretty stupid not to get confused.

today's news featured very few articles about people getting killed. they were still there.. but there was a lot less of them. sort of like the united states a bunch of years ago.. with most of the chinese being stuck in china smoking opium and inventing paper and gun powder.

our governor.. the governor of california (because it's too hard to spell). was riding a motorcycle without a motorcycling licence. and the picture in the paper was just brilliant.. the last time i remember him doing something like that was when he had to save john connor.

people make guitar playing look way too easy..

and yes. things in doom3 are getting less and less and less scary. although having a giant spider jump out at you when you're fiddling around with some security cameras can really force you to change your pants.

i'm going to go for a run later. maybe break a lung. kill my toe. or give my heart the jumps.

we all know what's coming.. it's pretty obvious what's coming next.. bird sars. so since we know it's coming.. what we do is just get really really sick now. that way when bird sars season comes around.. our immune system will be super tough.. and that's why i shouldn't be studying bio.. or trying to become a doctor.. or even a male nurse.
Friday, January 13, 2006
the 13th.
Current mood: siamese.
i had a dream where i was in a family guy episode, not really since brian was the only one there.. it was pretty awesome. there were a bunch of german nazis who were driving vans and stuff. i think one got out and we ran him over and everybody was happy. it was some guy from ww2 that was supposed to be in charge of killing all the jews or something. that's what you get fucker. what the hell does that mean? i may have spent a little bit too much time playing call of duty and watching cartoons last night.. just a little. also toward the end of my dream.. usc was in the nfl..

so today is friday the 13th. and while i wait for some guy in a hockey mask named jason (who is not my brother. my brother is jason pi) to try and cut me with a knife.. or chainsaw.. or some other killing device.. i'm going to say fuck you friday the 13th. i never even saw that movie.

ok.. george bush. what the hell is that guy's problem? even though i'm a little late for this.. after texas won the rose bowl he calls the texas coach at 6 in the morning. who the hell calls people at 6 in the morning to tell them they did a good job? then he starts tossing up the metal sign (which looks nothing like a longhorn) and he says.. 'hook'em horns.' what does that mean? it means he's a fucker.

after watching this michael moore thing when clinton was in office.. i've learned that in those three states up in the northwest where idaho and all those potatoes and rain and stuff is.. there are more 'weapons of mass destruction' than in the uk and france combined. that means. don't fuck with america or we'll kick your ass. or if you do want to fuck with us.. get somebody to hit one of those bombs in that area with a hammer.. and you blow up the whole world. why doesn't the UN come inspect us? the people in charge up there say it's because we store our bombs so much better than iraq and we have guys that looked like my fat friend, gregory, from kindercare taking care of the bombs. if that's our reasoning.. then why don't we give iran a better way to store their nuclear stuff and a fat white guy to take care of them. problem solved. if we want the whole world to be so much like america that's exactly what we need to do.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
drunk. with a capital C.
Current mood: what did i say.?
i'm feeling pretty odd. nelson pi drunk? ha. ask phil. or maybe anson. or adrian. don't ask kyle though.. because he cheats at golf and plays some fucked up 13.. adrian does too.. but he's better. if feels warm and happy. i don't shut up when i'm drunk. i strange odd things. although the thing of the day just might be me calling bill gates homosexual.. or maybe when i put on my ski mask in the albertson/del taco plaza in irvine.. and then having some lady scream.. 'oh my god.. why's he wearing a mask.' my hand eye coordination is pretty much shot.. with a 12 gauge shotty. all through my body. but i was still able to manage a couple of wins in street fighter 3. i even got in a couple of parries.. or parys. or mabye even parry masons in.and i talkded a whole buncho f shit for doing so. i actually got the whole aunblockable akuma thing where the giant symbole for sky; in chiese appears on.. one of them.. i can't exatcley rememter who. but we all have to give phiil a big hand for beating me.. i was this guy that looked like adre.. andre the giant.. yeah. i was throwing my ass at him and he stillbeat me. then i picked ken.. and can you spell k.o.? phil will tell you how. i'm pretty sure anson and adrian got a couple of wins in.. and i pretty much blamed it on phil. scapegoats are cool. i'm probably not as drunk as i should be... but god damn. my brother gave me some shots. shots with the fist. which is why i have cuts around my collar bone area. we like to scuffle. we're some rooble rousers. and he's pretty tough. he aslo thinks phil chased him around a classroom. and it's the other way around.. sorry. but thinking is pretty difficult. as is taking off your shoes while standing on one foot. see. this is fun. and my tyopeing is pretty messed up. you can't even eimagin the times i've hit the backspace button. it's pretty much inunmaginalb.e.. so i gave fup on it. the backspaec key is a crutch much like the rickets are on a perosn with crutches. what the hall? or hell?

nelson's favorite thigs:
-saying 'cool.' or 'probably.'
-repearting thigs my dad saysd.
-not shutting up.
-asking adrian if he's cool when he's asleep.
-laughing.. a lot.
-firgettubg ntmy ski mask. then finding it one the futon.. possibly because phil put it there..
-bears.. 19239. panthers. 2
-patriots 2. denver.. 81
-i hpe the lakers onw today. and kobe shot at lest 58 times. for a csore of 12. although that might not be good for the team
-clots. 88888888. steelsers. 97.
-and the redskins won the wuper bowl by default because clinton portis be my niiga.

there mihgt even be some more stuff. but i can't recall everything i said.. because i said a bunch of stuff. like i said.. i wouldn't shut up.

also..

stuff nelson doesn't like..
-rum/ that's reppreyyt myuch it.

maybe i need some sleep. but i need ot apologize to adrian for maybe keeping him up while eh. he was trying to sleep.

i'm cool guy.s.
Monday, January 16, 2006
mlk.
Current mood: tmnt
we all have dreams. but most of the time our dreams are so messed up they just won't come true. like that one dream i had where i was swimming through the air trying to find my car. or maybe the one where i stopped some mobsters with a gallon of juice and a sheet of plastic (they stepped on the plastic.. then i tossed on the juice and then they slipped and fell). wouldn't it be nice if they did come true? this one guy had a dream that was a pretty good dream. and it probably would come true if we didn't fuck around so much. mr. king. i'm sorry. we're all a bunch of fuckers. even if every single person in the world turned the same color we would still find a reason to hate each other. so fuck you. fuck you all. don't like other people? then shoot yourself and hope that hell is empty.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
school 3: school's revenge [take 4]
Current mood: f sharp
i'm awake.. it's about 6.30. this isn't that bad. sure is cold though..

i got out an hour early. something's wrong with some login thing i have to do..

just one more class to see new faces.. and the best part about it is.. no fobs! there's a bunch of nerds.. but no fobs. i'm pretty happy about that. i could be completely let down though.. my last class could be full of fobs.. and it's a critical thinking class so i won't know what anybody is saying.. awful. awfully awful.

i need to purchase books and supplies on friday. i have a lab and homework and retard quiz tomorrow for physics. hells bells.

the lightbulb for my desk burnt out. i took it out and examined it.. the top was a translucent black. spelling correctly is for nerds. i guess you could call it greay. because so many people spell it either.. grey. or gray. i guess i also could've gone with graey. but here's something we all can agree on. the light bulb sure isn't white.. anymore..

i went for a run. then afterwards i decided to catch my breath.. with mason jars. i had a couple lying around.. because mason jars are so fucking lazy. i say.. 'hold my peaches' and they're like. 'sures things sirs.' and then they go lay around some more while holding my peaches. they're worse than those lazy asians with their yellowed beyond yellow skin. that's not a racist remark. i was talking about the lazy ones.. so i caught some of my breath.. and felt very refreshed.. so i decided to go run again.. that wasn't a good idea. most of my ideas aren't.. i had already used all the mason jars i had to catch my breath.. so this time there would be no catching of the breath.. and now my lungs feel awful. awful is the word of the day.

'you dummy. you're stupid.' - nelson pi
'how do you open this stupid thing?' - jason pi
'what a stupid store.' - james pi
11:34 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

school. part 2. the return of school [take 2]
Current mood: i need a nap
i think it's funny how microsoft word told me that there were too many grammatical errors to keep track of.. so it was going to turn itself off. then a couple minutes later it told me that there were too many spelling errors.. so that was going to turn itself off. cool.

i still have 3 hours until class starts for me. the schedule is like a boat with all sorts of ups and downs. so maybe i'll get sick and throw up.

while taking phil to his car.. we hit a red light.. when an old guy in the car next to us decided to stare at us. it wasn't even your normal stare either.. this was like the stare from hell. so he stared.. phil told me to look.. so i looked.. and right when i looked i saw him stare.. then the old guy and i both looked away at the same time. so i was thinking.. maybe he was looking at something else.. like not my car.. then he started staring again.. and that's when the light turned green.. and i just went zooming to the right turn. and probably might have ran over that mexican guy on his bike if he were riding faster.. but that stare is just something you have to get away from.

1.5 hours until class.. time is hard to kill.

it was nice of teacher ben to let us out early since we know how he does things. we being his former students. he told us.. 'get the fuck out. i can't stand seeing you.' not really.. but if he didn't know physics and a bunch of programming languages.. that's probably what would've came out.

now playing:
the velvet underground - all tomorrow's parties
Thursday, January 19, 2006
crn: 20057
Current mood: pencil.
um.. school sucks.

i've been playing this doom3 expansion pack to kill time. it takes me about 10 minutes just to walk down an empty hallway since i'm so paranoid.. and i think spiders are going to hop out of the floor vents.. which they didn't.. because they came down from the roof.. tricky fuckers.. or it was only one.. so i should say tricky fucker.. well. long story short.. i picked up the spider with this 'grabber' gun that i stole from this dead guy.. then launched it toward the wall where it exploded.

i was making some breakfast when my dad comes in and says.. 'wet. back.' and then he asks me.. 'why do the white guys call the mexicans wetbacks?' i told him the reasoning behind it... then he asked me.. 'so is it bad to say it?' at least he knows his electronics.. or at least what goes on inside them..

i have physics lab today. i'm going to inhale mercury vapor and stuff.. not because i have to or want to.. but i know some retard in some other group is going to do something stupid. and poison me.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
you don't have the gall.
Current mood: i have the gall
seattle.. pittsburgh? that's not how you make a superbowl.. that's not even how you make a.. glass of lemonade.. did i mention how great lemonade is? i got this lemon tree in my backyard.. it's great.

i feel like throwing up. i dranks some milk because i had some cookies and stuff.. but i probably would've been better off with some water or something because milk doesn't taste very good. it does a good job.. it just doesn't taste very good. there's also about 7 pounds of cheese in the refrigerator right now.. i don't think that's helping..

i really wish the nerds in my class stop worrying about everything.. because when they worry.. they're not funny.. they just keep asking questions on how to get an A. there's this one guy that sits in the front of the classroom that reminds me of kyle.. he spent 5 whole minutes on a quiz that's supposed to take you less than 30 seconds to finish.. and maybe even half that time if you don't write your name in. then the teacher sets up this demonstration.. and he leans in really close and blocks my view.. fuck! but yeah. these nerds need to stop worrying about grades.. in fact.. everybody needs to stop worrying about grades. wouldn't be the first time for me.

i'll see light pollution in hell.

i got around.. 30 hours of sleep over the weekend.. so you don't need to feel bad for me or anything..

why are they remaking all the cartoons i used to watch as a child and really messing things up? transformers is just fucked. cobra commander from gi joe doesn't have his klansman hood anymore.. and what the hell? baxter stockman is black. what kind of name is baxter for a black man?

did i mention how plastic this free 'digital camera' is? well. it's pretty plastic.

i heard a really good song.. but i have no idea who done it. and before you say.. he done it.. he probably hasn't done it. it was off of some johnny cash thing.. where some guy went backstage or something and played a little tune for johnny cash. then afterwards mr. cash tells the guy that he has 'it.'

ok.. so i just found out that kobe bryant got 81 points.. what the hell? um.. takes one to know one. fucker.
Monday, January 23, 2006
the complete 3rd season.
Current mood: nap
today is rather windy. no? walking perpendicular to the direction of the wind is really difficult. i was like a kite today. i should drill a bunch of holes through me so the wind will just pass right through me.. but that won't be happening. what will be happening is.. a nap.

class at 7:30am.. and then class at 7:00pm.. but according to the lady that was in my statics class.. the 7:00pm class is just some guy cracking jokes.. i think she said they were dry or his sense of humor was dry. mine's probably wet. or maybe even moist.. whatever that means. and we'll also be watching episodes of the simpsons.. which i'll probably enjoy.. unless they're these awful 'new' episodes.

i have a chemistry test next monday. and now the chemistry class has lots and lots of mexicans. which i like.. because those fobs just wouldn't shut up.

fun.

who's idea was it to give the day these mood swings? i wake up and i'm freezing my ass off.. then later towards noon.. i'm heating my ass on. what the hell? why don't we ever hear about father nature? all we get is mother nature.. and now since we've never even heard of father nature.. we can start making up stories.. like.. did mother nature kill father nature and dump his body in the ravine?

if you know who hide is. you're great.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
not like an owl. or even a bat.
Current mood: back to the futured
i'm not very nocturnal. who's idea was it to have class at night? stupid vampires.. they can cure aids and any other blood disease.. and all they want to do is be dorks at night.

smoking is really funny. need something to be funny? give it a cigarette and let it puff away. have you ever seen a pair of shoes smoking? it's pretty funny.

people aren't as creative as they used to be. and when they are creative.. it's something awful. we have 9 years to make the world look like back to the future 2.. and we're not doing a very good job.. and 1.21 'jigowatts' means 1.21 x 10^9 watts. and it should be 1.21 gigawatts. or 1,210,000,000 watts. just so you don't sound like a dork.. and so you can sound like a nerd.

nelson's word of the day: peturb. and perturbation.

you know what i'd do if i were a ninja turtle? i'd tell leonardo to shut the hell up. fucker wants to act like the hero all the time. 'turtles fight with honor.' that's not how you enter a fight. that's what dorks say.. raphael too. he's just a dick. donatello wears purple.. which makes him royalty. and michelangelo is just great. primo notion!
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
i'm smart.
Current mood: perturbed
i scored 79 points on a test once.. it was out of 150. i'm smart.

ok. so kobe scored 81 points.. for the past couple days.. there's been an article in the paper about this.. every single day.. at least two articles each day. and today i found out people are giving him shit for scoring 81. people are stupid. way too many people either hate the guy.. or love him. and want to get raped by him. so.. if you do want to get raped by him.. shut up. because that's gross.. and it probably won't happen unless you've been watching family guy.. because then you know.. 'it's going to happen.' and also shut up about the 81 points. we're not retards.. we know he scored 81. and to those of you who hate him.. and say he's a selfish fucker.. you're right.. but to give him shit for scoring 81.. is just stupid. so shut up. everybody.

here's something we can all agree on.. he's no wang zhizhi.. that guy is 260% basketball material.. and at least 306% chinese. i'm only about 173% chinese. so.. you can see how chinese he actually is. chinese new year is coming very very soon. it's not about the money.. so don't be a retard and get excited about getting money.. there's more to chinese new years than that. read a book!

so the guy says.. 'outrageous!' and the german or norwegian subtitle says.. 'schitterend.' or something. that's fuunny. the extra 'u' is for.. ummm.

it's only wednesday? fack! when the teacher writes:
2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 2.4 c and e
what do you think that means? all of 1,2,3 and c and e for 4 right? well.. i was wrong. and that's how you waste time.

i'm getting really close to reaching a months worth of music.. that's.. a lot of music..
Thursday, January 26, 2006
i'm doing my homework.
Current mood: smelly trunk.
now i remember why i don't like physics.. it's the homework. it says.. find the EER. and i did that.. then it tells me to do some other stuff with entropy and that's when it gets confusing.. that naming stuff for chemistry is stupid too. why do we need to know this stuff? it just makes us look like even bigger nerds than we already are.. fuck.

hearing 2pac do his song about not calling somebody bitch mixed with john lennon's pianoing about forrest gump's description of china (no religion. no belongings.. etc.) is something that is very odd. even odder is hearing 2pac mixed with lynyrd skynyrd's sweet home alabama.

it feels like i finished all my homework and reading.. except i really haven't. my homework is on drugs. the reading.. the reading is off the drugs.. but for some reason is trying to get back on the drugs. my philosophy book is about some guy complaining about the entertainment industry. he's pretty boring... at least my physics book has pictures.

my old circa's for my left foot have a really worn out left side.

the only good thing about today is i have no prelab.. and the sun's out. the bad things are.. i have lab.. and the sun's ultraviolet b and c rays just might penetrate the ozone layer to give me skin cancer. today i'm going to find the shape of an atom.. or something like that. i better not get any glass in my eyes.. because that's bad.

now playing:
t.rex - metal guru

..because it's stuck in my head.
Friday, January 27, 2006
'america is a fucking paper tiger.'
Current mood: not finished.
chairman mao said that once. maybe even twice. and if he was really feeling it. he'd say it thrice. although i'm not too sure about him saying 'fucking'

my dream was pretty wierd. during the whole dream i couldn't keep my eyes open because i was really tired.. or somebody had tossed some onion juice in my eyes. so i was in class.. and we had to answer these questions.. the teacher told me to do b.. but instead i did a.. so when she called on me i had to read it.. and sit there and think about it. the question was really messed up too.. it was like.. 'joe has a car. pizza delivery. without D^d. $^@%**.. etc. does joe have a car?' and the answer i gave was.. no.. which was correct. some nerd next to me even explained how things were so fucked up in the question that there's no way he would really have a car. so then the teacher decided to yell at me for not using the question as a reference for my answer or something.. and that when i write.. i should use more references.. then i thought. vincent van gogh painted starry night straight from memory while he was in the nuthouse. so what the hell do i need references for? well.. mainly for art and stuff..

oh yeah. stupid machines at fjc stole $1.50 from me. so i paid $2.75 for a drink. best damn drink i ever had.

kobe will score about 30 today.. so everybody can stop comparing him to mr. chamberlain.

plan for today. finish phil 170 reading and paper. finish chemistry homework and mcweb. 'finish him' with a fatality. and finish some other stuff.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
new year.
Current mood: hapy.
when i get old.. and some little kid asks me for some red pockets.. i'll pick up a chair and throw it at them. then hike up my pants.. and shake my fist at them as they run away crying.. and if i don't end up in jail.. i'll laugh. greedy little fuckers deserve stuff like that. don't forget what you're supposed to be doing today.. or you'll really mess up your tomorrow. better let the bats and deer run around your house.. and make sure you turn the word for luck or something upside down.

so happy new year. you white people were a month early. or we're a month late.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
the real new year.
Current mood: c3h8
i watch too many cartoons..

enjoy your new year. for the white people their year is already old.

i had some dumplings today. if you're some hardcore chinese person you would stick a gold coin in one of them.. and whoever find the gold coin is supposed to have good fortune or something.. this all probably started when some ate some gold and pooped it out and thought they were twice as rich as they were before. stupid chinese and their puns. all the chinese new year traditions are puns. this sounds like that.. let's eat that then. fish is supposed to sound like some word that means something good.. but i had fish on friday.. also my mom said i can't do anything bad today or i'll be screwed for the rest of the year.. so instead of saying 'fuck' in cantonese.. i said stomach.. in mandarin.. which sort of sounds the same.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
super bowl.
Current mood: what he said.
it feels like i'm not learning anything.. this sucks.

so.. the prediction that i made before the football season started turned out to be wrong.. really really wrong. but now that i know who's in the superbowl.. i'm 134% sure that the steelers will win.. with a final score.
steelers: 27
seahawks: -4
the seahawks will decide to play golf instead of football on sunday. i don't know why.. but that's what they're going to do.

i'm going to fall asleep standing tomorrow..

this sucks`!

dorks say. 'what goes up. must come down.' and that's why they're dorks. relative to us.. down in china is up over here. and the thing about a spoon full of sugar helping the medicine go down.. sure.. the medicine will go down.. but then you're just totally up and jumping off of the clouds and diving into a large pool full of razorblades.. so you're like.. 'fuck! i'm hyper and drowsy.' and then you have food.. where sometimes.. things will go down.. but then come up.. then out of your mouth and down again.. and then splash all over your shoes..

so what does it mean when you dream about living in a mansion.. but then a bunch of scorpions attack your field of corn and somebody gives you instructions on how to step on them.. but all you have are flip flops.. and i think there was something about a flying car in there too.

this sucks[!]
Friday, February 03, 2006
plan b.
Current mood: like a cat.
i need to go down to chinatown.. pick up some shoes.. and maybe some illegals to help me build a railroad across mexico and down into columbia.. where some fuckers live.. so somebody down there had the great fantastic idea to stitch a brick of heroin to the inside of a dog's belly.. then send those dogs up to america where we'll just love the dog flavored heroin.. it's probably a lot better than that shit flavored heroin that comes in condoms and has been through the digestive system.. but really.. is that the best they can come up with? so.. anyway.. to make sure this doesn't happen again.. i'll get the illegals to make the railroad.. then we'll go ahead and toss on a couple of those american made death bombs we have lying around.. and we do have a lot lying around.. stick them in a box.. and give it a great big label that says, "unwanted drugs" and in small letters under it, "unwanted drugos" because their spanish or whatever they speak just might be as messed up as mine.. but if they do speak spanish.. we'll have to make sure we stick "vuelta!" on the side.. but yeah.. we'll stick some bombs in a box and send it down the railway to columbia.. and when it gets there the people will see the 'unwanted drugs' label and send it over to one of the druglords.. then the druglord will probably get pissed and decide to open the box with an ak-47.. which will then cause the bombs to go off and then all the fuckers who went to retard school to learn how to stitch drugs to the insides of dogs will get exploded.

my initial plan was to send the illegals down there.. and you know.. have them eat all the columbian dogs so they won't have any best friends down there.. but that's somewhat wrong too..
Saturday, February 04, 2006
your new home.
Current mood: comfortably numb.
i like having a fixed itunes. but if you updated recently.. you probably got assed over with 'spyware.' but apple fixed it. apple does good work. i also do good work. i finished all my homework yesterday.. and it's awesome. i went through about 4 hours of cartoons today because i had nothing better to do.

sticking itunes on shuffle was a good idea. thanks me. all those songs that i haven't heard in a while are.. um.. being heard.. again.

the latest fad: pink floyd - comfortably numb
itunes decided to shuffle through my songs and play comfortably numb.. then i decided it was such a good song that i'd listen to it again.. and again.. and then again.. and another again. right up to the point where i wanted to do drugs.. to possibly further its listenability. then i decided to stop. but then i played it again.. realizing you don't need drugs to enjoy this. in fact.. if you need drugs to enjoy something it's probably not worth your time.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
for me. [take 2]
Current mood: zz.zombied.
note to self:
go to sleep early so you're not zombied in the morning.

so when some nerd said.. 'it would be easier if he didn't base these things off of real life.' i had to do kill myself and make sure i didn't laugh. because the question the teacher had us do.. read something like this:
if most jedi knights don't cross over to the dark side, then uncle owen doesn't need to worry about luke becoming a jedi.
it's a logic class. that statement is cogent.. apparently.

i'm pretty awesome at this. engineers have these logic gate things that work the same way.. except i got a D in that class so.. i don't know why this is so much easier.

i saw some brown clouds up in the sky.. and i really thought they were some brown and greyish clouds up in the sky along with the normal white ones until my mom told me that there was a fire in anaheim hills. makes sense.. it smelled like hotdogs and burnt fish ass when i got the mail.

why the hell does fjc have a bunch of sheep right next to the parking lot? they smell. today was awful.. somebody must've given the sheep some laxatives.. because the whole parking lot smelled like duck piss.. the whole duck piss thing is another story though.
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THE superbowl.
Current mood: so comfortably numb.
i would've liked to see the score be a bit closer in the superbowl.. but i'm sure the people in vegas are happy about what happened. so in the 2 weeks before the superbowl.. seattle was saying a bunch of stuff about people thinking that they're awful and that they shouldn't even be where they're at or some stuff like that.. they had it summed up in one word.. but i don't remember that word.. well now that seattle's lost.. we can all be happy that we were right. 12th man my ass. and i'm sure people are going to bitch constantly about the calls that were made during the game.. those people enjoy living in the past.. rather than just going there for vacations.. i'm all over the vacations in the past. the best line during the superbowl.. was something that madden said.. it was brilliant.. but i forgot what it was.. and there for a close second was the thing about the guy being behind towels so his groin could get taped up. and did stevie wonder say 'fucking' or 'funkin''? and were we the only group that heard al michaels say 'sars' instead of 'stars'? just wondering.

since the next football season is so many weeks and months away.. i think it's the perfect time for next year's superbowl prediction. we'll have the redskins beating the packers to get into the superbowl.. brett favre will be taken out of the game because he'll kill shawn springs by throwing the football right through shawn's stomach.. and he'll even leave a trail of smoke.. and i guess we'll stick the bengals in there too.. because what the hell do i know about football. redskins win it..0 to 0. after the bengals board the wrong plane and end up in mexico.. only to discover their love for the game was really for futbol.. and not the futbol de americano.. so... after playing 30 seconds the refs will be tired of hearing the bengals scream 'MANO! MANO! MANO...' so they'll decide to call it a night.. and give the redskins the win.

you know what your eyes will enjoy other than sleep? disney's robin hood.. what's with all these stupid cartoonists now drawing with a computer by moving a mouse around with their ass cheeks?

it's a good thing i checked this 'broncomail' thing that i have for calpoly.. a really good thing.

and just because this song is totally stuck in my head.. and the guitar soloing in it is brilliant.. here's the lyrics.
Comfortably Numb
(Roger Waters)
Hello, is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?
Come on, now, I hear you're feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain
And get you on your feet again.
Relax, I'll need some information first.
Just the basic facts.
Can you show me where it hurts?

(David Gilmour)
There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child I had a fever
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain, you would not understand
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

(Roger Waters)
Ok, just a little pinprick.
There'll be no more aaaaaaaaah!
But you may feel a little sick.
Can you stand up?
I do believe it's working, good.
That'll keep you going through the show
Come on it's time to go.

(David Gilmour)
There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
i once killed a man with a box of orbit gum, a tank of gas, 2 pieces of 0.7mm lead, and a gun.
Current mood: homework.
i wonder why there's always a smart old guy in my classes.. and why there weren't any at uci. there was an old lady in one of my classes at uci.. but that class had like 200 people. the only time i saw her was when she ruined our childish fun by asking us what we thought of the lecture.. and we had to be really mature and not mention the uniboob.. or any of the other sexual oddities in that day's class. this old guy in my physics class is great though. he always has something to say.. so when we go into those long awkward silent pauses where the teacher is waiting for somebody to ask a question.. he'll say something.. and it always make me smile.. because i either don't know what he's talking about.. or.. it something that i think is funny. i also think that me falling down the stairs when i was little is pretty funny.. well. at least it's funny now that i'm older.

the chemistry teacher decided to go insane over the weekend.. and she just gave us a bunch of homework.. which i should be doing now.. but i'm a slacker.. as mr. strickland would say. he also think's i'm stealing his newspaper.

there's a small spider crawling on the outside of my window.. he or she probably says 'fuck you.'
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
you never thought that a parrot would kill a man for a cracker but it happens. quite often too.
Current mood: totally high score.
today's lab was easier than i thought it would be. it was just extremely time consuming. like if you stuck some time next to this lab.. it would be gone in a second.. like some fat guy and cheese cake or something.

i really shouldn't have played that 10 minutes of tony hawk.. because it turned into an hour.. and it will probably result in another hour later. high score!

i got myself an 88% on the chemistry test. i did some retarded things to lower my score.. which makes me great. what did i get last semster on the first chem test? an 88%. except this time the 88% is an A.

milk is wierd.

yesterday i thought 'deduction' read 'douchebag.' a good sign that i needed some sleep.. or i need to get my eyes checked.

under the current moods thing is.. 'touched.' aaahaaahaaa. i should do my homework.
Friday, February 10, 2006
the super duper mega monster killing los angeles angels of anahiem of the indo los angeles area
Current mood: ha!
well. we're going to look like a bunch of retards for a while.. at least to the baseball people. the other retards in the jury decided that the angels owner didn't violate some stuff when he decided to have everyone call his team the 'los angeles angels of anahiem.'

so what i'm getting from this is.. that he could pretty much call the team whatever he wants.. as long as he sticks anaheim in there somewhere. there were suggestions on renaming the team to maybe.. the orange county angels of anaheim. which i thought would be good.. or at least better than the los angeles angels thing. for one.. it might get people to start calling this place.. orange county again.. and it would be nice to actually get the area correct..

winter olympics are starting. which means it's time for some curling.. and possibly hockey and skiing and snowboarding.. if you're into that sort of thing. oh. and that thing where you shoot stuff on skis. so here's what's going to happen.. the soviet union is going to reform.. and i guess they could win some medals. china is going to ass things up.. really really ass things up. i don't know how or when.. but it's going to happen.

i don't know what the hell that's supposed to mean. but i do like how one of the black guys is totally happy because he's touching himself. or it could be that the yellowed asian guy is holding him. you can go on and on about this thing.. also notice how the negro on the right doesn't have his shoes and is wearing pink socks. art is great.

now playing:
new york dolls - pills

..again
Monday, February 13, 2006
it's spelled l-u-v.
Current mood: l-u-v.
people don't realize that things could be worse.. really worse. or a lot worse. like.. you could be end up dead or something. but people would rather be dorks about it. don't like valentine's day for some reason? you're stupid. people need this day.. to make new people and stuff. mexicans also need this day.. because they make large amounts of money by selling flowers and bootleg bears and chocolates at gas stations and at freeway off ramps. and forgetful people need those mexicans to sell them said items which will then be moderately overpriced because all we do is give mexicans shit for going out and busting their ass everyday. yeah. so.. take some prozac if you can't help it.

my dad has hired some workers.. who happen to be mexican.. to install a new lawn that's green all year round. they did some nice work and will be back on 'tomorrow's tomorrow' to install the green green grass of home.. johnny cash everyone. give him a hand.

but yeah. enjoy your valentine's day.. what i miss the most is those valentine's day cards you get that say stuff like 'you're out-raaage-ous!' and it'd have wolverine on it or something.. i don't know.. what do they got now? harry potter cards? that's stupid. it's probably says something stupid like.. 'come carve some lightning bolts on my forehead. and a heart if you have room.'

'i hear she's pretty bad.'
'well. she's good bad. but she aint evil.'

'is she tall?'
'well i gotta look up.'

ha. mr. thunders loves us all.. especially little babies.. but he doesn't want to fuck with your mother.. shuffling music is a lot better than shuffling cards.. with the music.. i get the random things to say. with cards i get.. red or black. some numbers.. or letters. if i'm lucky i'll get a old timey lady.. or the homosexual guy with the skinny mustache.. or the old man who grows tired of life.. that's not enough choices to be random.. and too many choices to be.. normal. or some other word.

now playing:
the postal service - nothing better [styrofoam mix]

it makes me smile.
3:49 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

nelson pi's theory of relativity made simple through the good use of style, diction, and syntax
Current mood: the end is near.
nelson has been listening to lots of pink floyd lately.. perhaps a little bit too much. nelson has also learned that this bright eyes character is pretty awesome. nelson has been doing all of his homework.. or at least most of it. nelson doesn't usually write in the 3rd person. or second person. or first.. depending on how you look at things.. nelson's writing tends to be in the 4th person range. because it's that good. your typical writers don't even know about the 4th person. because they only have two eyes.. one which is sometimes lazy.. so the most people they see is three.. and can only get their point of view.. for a total of 3 points of view. nelson however sees 4. not because of two lazy eyes. but because of his four eyes. nelson wears glasses. which the english often call spectacles.

that old lady lied to me when she said we'd be watching clips from the simpsons in my logic class.. luckily the class is pretty easy. except for the 2 chapters of reading a week.. which an engineer isn't used to.. but really enjoys because this reading makes sense. and doesn't require you to do questions at the end of the chapter.. but it's just as boring since the guy who wrote the book is some dork who thinks we're all retarded because of TV.

well.. it wasn't really china that assed things up.. but it was a chinese person..

i'll probably have more to say later.. it's all relative.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
it's something about a fish swimming around in a pool that was made for fat people who eat fish
Current mood: captain planet.
i got some pretty good news yesterday. i only have to go to half a class tomorrow.. minus the lab.. but plus the wasted time for actually going to the half a class.

i really felt that i could've been doing something a lot more productive this afternoon.. and that feeling has finally got to me. maybe i should read a book.. then teach some mexican kid how to read.

that chemistry test today.. was very interesting. sure i got answers.. and sure i think that they're right.. but that can all change when the teacher hands me my test with a big F on it for 'fuck you for being a fucker that doesn't know chemistry.' but i don't think i did that bad.

a single mexican guy put in a new lawn at my house today. and as he walked off. i reminded him that he forgot his jacket. like i said before.. they do good work.

i'm going for a run. i'm trying to collapse one of my lungs so i can get a new one.

the great king nelson, the terrible has passed away. which means he's dead. apparently his life was part of some sort of cash settlement for his illegal activities in monopolozing the monopoly business.. i just think he faked his own death and made off with the insurance money. too bad he didn't have insurance.. because then he'd be rich.
Thursday, February 16, 2006
monkey hat.
Current mood: yeaaaah.
i moved two mexican kids $2 closer to their goal of going on a field trip.. it must be some field trip too.. 2 bucks for some stupid chocolate. come on.. i remember i had to sell chocolate in elementary school so i could go to outdoor ed. which probably isn't as much fun as special ed.. but i went to the outdoor one instead. i had to sell as much $1 candy as possible.. and it was good candy.. see's candy if i remember correctly.. which i probably do.. but this $2 candy those kids sold me.. 'helen grace' chocolate.. what the hell? now.. if helen grace is some fancy chocolate brand that only white people know about then please let me know.. but for $2 i could've gotten 2 pack of the best tasting gum ever. orbit! citrus mint. or mint citrus.. they should just label it.. orbit.. best tasting gum ever.. because that's what i call it. oh well.. those fuckers better have fun on their field trip.. it all started when one of them said to me.. 'excuse me sir.. would you like to buy some candy.. for..' and i laughed inside because they called me sir.. but i told him i;d get some on the way out of fry's. so i went out got some candy from both of them.. and i really like how one of them gave me the 'krunch' style one and said that it was good.. and the other one gave me the plain milk chocolate one.. because it's probably hard to sell. i was hoping one of them would give me the toffee one.. but they didn't.. sure.. they asked which flavor i wanted.. but i took the gambler's path and told them to give me anything.. because i didn't care.. because i'm lackadaisical or something like that.

class ended today.. at 6:20. which is much better than the usual ending of 9:45.

so.. when you want to use a really old push broom to sweep some things up outside.. you better make sure it's not a really old one that's made of wood. funny story.. i was pushing a push broom around.. when a splinter decided to jam itself into the palm of my hand. then i find myself pulling out a piece of wood from my hand.. good thing the broom wasn't metal.. because then this wouldn't happen.

um.. i think i forgot to wash my hands after lab a few days ago.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
really not worth your time.
Current mood: a.b.c.
necromance better be open tomorrow. because if it's not.. then i'm going to waste about 2 hours. not that i'd spend that 2 hours doing anything important.. but it's 2 hours that i can't get back.. and 2 hours wasted.. on something that wasn't part of my time wasting agenda.

i have to remember that they open at 12.. and the lady goes out to lunch really soon after that. so.. i should plan on leaving later.. unless i want to spend my time waiting in front of the store.. smiling at the owner's greyhound that likes to walk around inside. i also need to remember my money..

told you.
Monday, February 20, 2006
i said 'melrose tommorrows' yesterday. but i'm going there today.
Current mood: coked.
want to know what's wierd? seeing black people at the winter olympics. i saw some picture in the paper.. and just waited for the little voice in my head to say. 'hahaha.. negroes don't ski..'

i've seen the first half of cool runnings 3 times.. but never really made it to the end.. because i watched it in art class or something.. but seeing john candy order the scary looking black guy around has to give a the little white kids lots of confidence when facing scary looking blacks. disney.. you've done it again..

if i ever enter the winter olympics.. i'd try my best to be the 2nd or 3rd guy in a bobsled.. i mean.. why are they there? probably the easiest job in all of the olympics.. just fake your pushing for 10 seconds.. then jump in and relax.

my brother had this phillipino coke ad.. or infomercial.. or some advertising thing about coke in the phillipines. i don't know what subliminal messages they used.. but they sure did work. "and look at these happy fellas.. after a nice friendly game of tennis.. these two are going to sit down and have a nice ice-cold refreshing coke.. aah! thirst quenching.." hearing 30 minutes of that.. and seeing phillipino people can really mess with your head.

looks like it's going to be a nice day. enjoy. i need a coke.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
cheese flavored edible crickets.
Current mood: french american.
there were these edible crickets around the cash register at necromance.. i thought about getting them to see what crickets taste like.. but then decided not to after seeing how they dusted the crickets with that powdered cheese.

ugh.. i really should've gone with the 'death row cinnamon' rather that this 'black lung soothing lemon.' or had i known that these bubble gum cigarettes wouldn't be the same ones my mexican friends in elementray school used to share with me.. then i wouldn't have bought them at all. where's my fake smoke? what's the point of making candy cigarettes if they aren't going to give kids the fun of blowing fake smoke so they can become future smokers later.. and.. right when i said that.. possibly the worst chewing gum flavor jumped into my mouth.. sort of like dirt.. but some people would probably enjoy it a lot.. but only because they haven't had the best tasting gum ever.. what i purchased was some awful gum. so next time.. for the impulse buying.. i should probably purchase the possibly awful tasting crickets.. rather than the awful tasting gum.

remember those harry potter jelly beans. how terrible are we? we waste our jelly beaning materials to make flavors like.. vomit.. and grass.. and ass.. rather than shipping a bunch of food over to starving people in africa.. we're over here making food that's meant to be thrown away and not eaten..

i gave a homeless guy some of the change i had lying around in my car.. and he said.. 'bless you.' and as i drove away.. he yelled 'BLESS YOU.' and that surprised the hell out of me. some people think that giving money to homeless people is wrong because they might spend that money on drugs.. or possibly booze.. alcohol. i probably gave the guy about 70 cents.. and if he can get drugs or alcohol for 70 cents.. then let him. he's getting a damn good deal.

so the owner of necromance asked me.. 'are you a hide fan?' she knows what's going on. and that's pronounced hee-day. and it's always spelled with a lower case 'h.'
Thursday, February 23, 2006
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Current mood: hydrogen.
i had to wait for a train to pass by while i was driving yesterday.. it took about 5 minutes. i like how people got really impatient.. and started pulling u-turns. it made me smile.

i thought the billboard on the way back home said.. 'black party.' then after getting a bit closer.. i learned that it actually said.. 'block party.' what the hell is wrong with me?

somebody (not me) needs to change their last name to dumply.. 'hi. i'm mr. dumply. my father was a dumpster.'
Friday, February 24, 2006
if you want to think.
Current mood: hot air.
my brother showed me this thing..

(1/3) + (2/3) = 1

but then.. you have this stuff..

1/3 = 0.333333333333....
2/3 = 0.66666666666....

so if you add those together.. you get.. 0.99999999999... which isn't eqal to one..

so what the hell.. it bothers me.

"sucks to your assmar."
Sunday, February 26, 2006
super funk christmas in february.
Current mood: bongo.
here's what i'm going to do.. or not going to do.. i'm not going to study for this logic test i have tomorrow. why? well.. one.. it sounds like it's going to be pretty easy.. and two.. if you need to study on how to think.. you're pretty stupid.. and i sort of had this stuff at uci.. sure i got a D over there.. but this is philosophy logic and not engineering logic.. stupid and gates and or gates.. and let's add bill gates to that list too. they're all stupid. but one of them sure is rich.

what i should really be doing is studying for this physics test i have on thursday.. for some reason i thought that the test was next week.. don't ever trust yourself.

so it's like.. awesome! no physics lab this week.. but to replace the physics lab.. you have the physics exam.. so it's like fuck! and awesome! and the same time.. but it just isn't fucking awesome.

"please don't write on the test.. that means no ass marks."

what the hell?

life would contain less tests if people would stop acting like retards.

oh. and another what the hell.. is it the 70's again? watch fox news at 10.. because they've discoverd some sort of devil's music coming off our records when they're played backwards.. what's worse than the crappy news we get today.. is crappy rehashed old news from yesterday.
Currently listening :
The Slider
By T. Rex
Release date: 28 January, 1997

Monday, February 27, 2006
not the best tasting gum ever?
Current mood: raining.
so.. to add to the list of strange dreams.. is my marathon running at some mansion.. or it was a race.. i don't remember.. what i do remember is that i somehow bumped into the guy who's like the CEO of orbit gum.. like in the victory room or something. so what i did was offer him some of the best tasting gum ever.. only to have him tell me that it wasn't his favorite.. then as i asked which gum was his favorite.. yeah. i woke up. i guess my brain painted itself into a corner.. then freaked out and started rolling around in the wet paint to wake me up.. because it didn't know a better gum than the best tasting gum ever. and you know what.. even if i kept dreaming.. the CEO would've probably said something like.. truffle gum. truffle is really gross.. it's like rotten yogurt butter. so the only best tasting gum ever can only be the best tasting gum ever.

logic test today. anybody remember that pepboys commercial where the guy and his buddy are hammering away at this car and he's like.. 'don't worry. we'll make it fit.' and there's a flashback to them as kids.. and they're trying to get the sqaure peg to go into the round hole? i don't know where i'm going with this..

smile. it's raining. and you can smile even more when it stops.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
tests like some testicles.
Current mood: uck. with an f.
who or what the fuck is that?

testing this week. 2 to be exact.. much like the testicles. unless you have a serious medical condition.

when the teacher asks.. please explain how the theories of relativity and thermodynamics cause life to not get fucked.. i'll write.. "fuck! that's difficult." then go on to the next question. then.. after i've finished with all the 'easy' questions.. i'll go back to the one i skipped.. sit and think for 30 minutes.. then just write.. FUCK! really big like that.. and turn in my paper.. and be happy that the week is over.

studying only causes me to use the fucking 'f' word.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
up the drain.
Current mood: abcd.
i have a test in.. 4 hours? i have to be in class in 2 hours.. i'm also rounding the 3.5 up to 4.

to make sure i do well.. or not.. i've decided to clean out my brain. and leave nothing but physics. so.. i'll leave this stuff here.. and pick it up after the test. oh.. but i still have to remember things like my name and how to get to class.. and how to put on pants.. i'll just leave the useless stuff here.

tomorrow is friday. camera's take pictures. wires are easily tangled.. untangling them only let's them get tangled again.. so don't untangle them. i need to throw out the trash.. and clean my room. a jason pi is coming home this weekend. a nelson pi will being going to irvine.. and maybe chinatown if he feels like talking to the vietnamese who run the black market over there.. nobody wants to trade socks.. a fish has two eyes.. but only one of them works.. the other one is on defense. um.. eat your vitamins.
Friday, March 03, 2006
tested.
Current mood: untested.
will i ever get tired of being wrong? um.. no.

so.. right after i was telling a couple people that i hope the first question isn't on thermodynamics.. and after telling the class that you're guaranteed to get one question right because the first one is always the easiest stuff.. well.. the first one turned out to be on thermodynamics.. and it wasn't the easy type of question i was telling everybody they'd get right..

i think i did well.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
very.
Current mood: very. very.
thinking that you did well.. and actually doing well are very different apparently. so on the physics test that i thought i did extremely very well i got a C.. unless somehow there were mistakes made during the grading.. which there probably weren't.. and on the logic test.. that i thought was pretty tough.. i got an A. note to self.. stop thinking.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
andy maynard says..
Current mood: andy maynard always goes first.
how much did today suck? like.. it wasn't a bad day or something like that.. but damn did it suck. it's sort of like if you were blind and went to the movies.. it's like.. this sucks..

on a scale of 1 to 10.. this one caused us to purchase a new scale.. get it calibrated and stuff.. then call this day an 89. it sucks.

somebody changed to meaning of fun to suck today.. hopefully it'll get changed back to normal tomorrow.. like that one other time fun meant normal.. and the president called me to tell me about his dog and its worms. that was a fun day.. sort of like a sunday... um.. "he likes a sundae even on a monday."
Friday, March 10, 2006
king for an hour.
Current mood: door.

isn't that the best hair you've ever seen on a pez dispenser? that monkey is making fools out of us all.. just look at that hair. or maybe it's just making a fool out of me.. that's the head of a billionaire monkey if i've ever seen one.. all he needs in a monocle.. a tophat. and a cigar that was lit with a hundred dollar bill..

what was really awesome about yesterday was.. i got out of lab at 8:30.. except i thought it was 9:30.. so when i got in my car and looked at the clock it totally said 8:30 and i was like.. "oh shit! it's 8:30!" either i hit 88mph going home and went back in time.. or i got out extremely early.

crack a smile.. with crack!
Saturday, March 11, 2006
http://www.nelson.com/
Current mood: dinner.
"thomson nelson is canada's leading educational publisher, delivering complete customized educational solutions with the distinct needs of canadian learners in mind."

i told my mom to trademark my name.. or get it copyrighted.. or something so the fat cats will stop profitting off of my greatness..

clipart is the funniest kind of art.. and it always makes you think.

so i spent about an hour and a half trying to do my online chemistry homework. first i tried the shortcut way.. or in english.. random educated guesses.. but i kept getting the answers wrong. so when i actually did the problems the long way.. it actually took less time than my so called shortcut way.. moral of the story.. educate your guesses better or you'll have to do things the long way.

there's also this whole thing about calming down. if we were always calm life would be like an ass that's constantly being sat on.

the red cross really really wants my blood. i'm beginning to suspect that all those movies and tv shows i've seen are true.. and vampires are in charge of all the blood. but putting that aside.. the last time i tried to donate blood they told me to go back home with my free tshirt.. but no free pint of ice-cream because i've been in china within the past year. don't want dirty chinesed blood? then i don't know why they keep calling..

anybody remember that hand puppet from 'the tick' that was always telling us fucker kids to read a book?
Monday, March 13, 2006
it's cool. if you're not hot.
Current mood: chortle.
if you're going to be stupid.. at least do it right.

under the news section of this website of illegal activities (the downloading type.. not the drugs or immigrant type.) there's the headline.. "Canada Is The Leader In Piracy" then you click on the link and you get a bunch of words that make up an article about the topic.. then under that you have people commenting.. so. possibly the stupidest thing i've ever heard since george bush called me and said 'hi' is this guy.. saying ,"Not surprising, with all their Socialist policies it becomes a nation of theives because their all broke." this isn't a what the hell? it's more of a what the fuck? i really hope he was kidding..

then under that link.. you have "Christians Plan to Boycott Da Vinci Code." they're talking about protesting outside of movie theaters and doing all sorts of stuff to keep us from watching the movie.. even though most of us have already read the book.. hey and what do you remember about the da vinci code? i can't remember a thing.. but i do remember that one guy who's name was like.. teabag.. or something like that.

stop being so stupid.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
it's not 22/7.
Current mood: formatted.
command prompt makes you feel like you know what you're doing.. when you do things right.. and to think.. 15 years ago i knew exactly how to open up that train game called omni and go nuts and collect oil and build never ending tracks that looped around people's houses over and over again until they phoned into the the city to complain about my antics. of course.. this is 15 years later.. instead of 15 years ago.. boo.

pi day is pretty awful.
Currently listening :
The Complete Hank Williams
By Sr. Hank Williams
Release date: 22 September, 1998

Wednesday, March 15, 2006
ides. [part 2]
Current mood: up.
tomorrow we all need to kill julius caesar. it doesn't matter how you do it.. as long as you do it.

so kill him. and then call it a day.

there.. you can try killing him like that too. uncle sam is pretty great. as you can see.. his fancy americanized tophat is resting on the back of his head somehow.. of course.. i could be wrong.. seeing as how i'm pretty awful at perspectives and stuff. hitler must've showed him how to throw a 'blitz blow.' yeah.. that's really not my style.. i'd rather be throwing haymakers. but he sure showed that indian who's boss. next week's issue.. uncle sam goes to chinatown. USA! USA! USA! the chinese will be ready to give him sars and steal his vast amounts of moneys.

"The review for "Shark Sandwich" was merely a two word review which simply read "Shit Sandwich."
Currently listening :
Why Don't You Kill Yourself?: The CBS Recordings
By The Only Ones
Release date: 11 May, 2004

Thursday, March 16, 2006
ppthhththt.
Current mood: optic.s
today is the humdrummest day.

so i'm sitting in my room.. watching a quality disney cartoon that was made to pay off some debt or something.. it was about VD.. um. venereal disease. it starts off being very very funny.. then.. it gets very very gross. and the main narator super disease screams 'make everyday VD day!' then it expalins how comdoms do their work. then you get the 'THE END' and under that it says 'a walt disney production.'

ifilm - vd attack plan

Friday, March 17, 2006
patent pending. [ver. 2.0]
Current mood: gorgak.

and he says something like 'you fucking snakes are a bunch of fucking sinners.' but he says it a whole lot nicer.

maybe there's more to it.. but i decided to stop reading after that.uci is in the paper again.. there's an article in there today about some doctor giving a suicidal mental patient at the uci medical center some pills.. pills that caused even more suicidal thoughts (hopefully as a side effect) so the guy hung himself in the bathroom. there's probably more to that story.. but i decided to stop reading after that.

and we can all say hooray because america just lost in this world baseball classic. that'll teach us fuckers to think that we're so great. our problem is that we have a bunch of fat guys who eat too many slim jims before each game.. and also we tend to use baseball bats to beat people and smash things.. things that aren't baseballs but sometimes very close to being balls. that's probably not the real reason why we lost.. but it's a pretty good excuse.

no surprises here. but maybe you'll find some over there.

Currently listening :
Teenage Kicks: the Best of the Undertones
By Undertones
Release date: 01 July, 2004

Monday, March 20, 2006
rained in.
Current mood: rained.
i watched supersize me in class today. and so far from what i've read fast food nation is a lot better.. they're completely unrelated.. or possibly somewhat related. but if you're lazy i think they're making a fast food nation movie. and you like how i underline the title of books too.

so it starts raining that really light and fuzzy type rain at about 6:30 while i'm walking to class. then while i'm in class.. it sounded like somebody was standing on top of the roof trying to take a piss on some imaginary person next to the door. and after class there was just enough rain to make me moist as i walked to my car without an umbrella. being in the rain without an umbrella made me smile.

walking through the giant empty parking lot with the fancy looking orange glow lights that reflect off the wet asphalt is quite peaceful. if i were a writer perhaps i could make it sound better. but i'm not. but it had a nice vibe to it as i walked through. in fact.. it always does for some reason. i don't know why..

smile it's raining. and smile again when the sun comes out.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
"we're burning in the melting pot"
Current mood: ; - semicolon.

that monkey is brilliant. he's a big swinger with no dingers. so he's sad.

i still don't understand how baseball is the second most popular sport in america.. it's behind football.. the monkey really does the trick. i guess most americans are forced into liking it.. what with the 200 games a season.. and the hours upon hours of sitting on your ass watching other people who spend hours and hours sitting on their asses.. then we somehow get pissed off that cuba wants to play in this world baseball classic.. and we start the whole name-calling thing and the 'he said, she said' thing which i don't really understand..

posted on the site of illegal activities is the entire final game of the world baseball classic. between cuba and japan.. cuba lost.. but right under the download link.. there's a nice place for people to leave comments.. the first one saying.. "he he, amercian stunks at baseball. long live castro![sic]" that 'sic' thing is from my newspapering days.. it means i didn't fuck things up.. but that's what it said. and right under that.. "America choked and so does Castro.[sic]" and both of the quotes are coming from americans.. so what the hell? i think the first guy was probably trying to piss people off.. which is funny. i find anger very funny.

and of course.. more junk about george bush.. people are trying to get him impeached.. somehow.. i don't know how.. but it would be nice. a nice comment left below that news is.. " Fucking liberals cant make in the white house but on billboards on the side of the road.... Ghetto" refering to this: http://www.impeachbush.tv/.. that's very proper english he uses too. then on some other thing that was comparing bush to some of the worst presidents ever.. i can't find the link but somebody commented and said something along the lines of.. 'if you're so fucking unhappy then why don't you run for president. i think he's doing a decent job.' and another guy said something like, 'thousands of terrorists are dead. it's great.' i don't know.. if you support bush.. you're probably thinking 'fuck yeah!' of course it's sort of difficult to become president when you don't have the moneys.. and you know.. you're not white. and the thing about thousands of 'terrorist' being dead.. have you ever thought that maybe that's what they were thinking on 9/11?
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
my eyes are two visionaries.
Current mood: 8 hour sleep.
the intestines are pretty good at what they do.

not feeling too happy. i was about an hour ago. but not so much now. i guess i'm feeling like lukewarm water. but at least i wasn't feeling like lukewarm water an hour ago.. because then i'd feel the awfuls right now..

cure for the blues.. is yellow. to make yourself feel green.. or possibly red.. if you're into that purple stuff. or if you want to feel brown.. get some oranges. what i'm going to do is travel really really fast away from everybody.. that way i'll get red-shifted and my physics teacher will be happy.

'leaving las vegas' is a downer. an even bigger downer than those other downer movies. but it's interesting to see mr. cage (he let's me call him nick) pickle his liver. i shouldn't have listened to the doctor in 'supersize me' and i should've listened to my logic teacher..

the physics teacher also show the class a really neat trick to see stuff even without your glasses.. that is if you wear glasses. i won't shut up about this for a while. it's pretty awesome.

"quite exciting, this computer magic." (on video games)
"have.. a good time... all the time" (on a creed that one lives by)

spinal tap is quite good at being an upper too.
Friday, March 24, 2006
: - colon.
Current mood: death bus for ugly.
the red converses are a bit tight around the extra toe.. soo. what i need to do is skate around in them.. try and do some ollies.. and make a hole so my extra toe has some room to do its thing.. 'its thing' being.. taking up empty space that would've gone to waste. good job toe.

i understand my physics.. it's very unusual.. unlike being loved by anyone.. which is not unusual. watching old simpsons re-runs with tom jones is good stuff.

why are monkeys so funny?

no question. no question. no question. no question. no question. no question. no question. no question. no question. no question. no question.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
the opposite of speed is cocaine.
Current mood: dick nixon.
physics tests are like.. bottles that cut up your hand when you try to smash the end off.. because you wanted to cut up somebody who's been talking about your wife.. but if that happens you can always tell them that you have AIDS then rush at them with an extremely bloodied and glass filled hand.

if you're always shooting for perfection then you're just setting yourself up for dissappointment.. shoot for the area just under perfection.. and only shoot at it when its eyes are open or else it won't do anything. a good example is those bastard hands with one eye from mario64.. or you can think of another example because that's awful.

i think i'm pretty awesome at optics.. that sort of thinking will probably change after todays physics test.

uci is on drugs.. and they're also on spring break.. and so are a bunch of other schools. all on drugs.. and all on spring break. except for super cool fullerton college. we're the awesome-est.

'show your bones' is good for your ears.

and somebody asked.. 'so, are there going to be any surprise artists this year?' and you'll be the one that'll have to tell him.. 'no you fucker. because if you knew it wouldn't be a surprise.'
Thursday, March 30, 2006
number 5.
Current mood: number 5.
my new most favoritestsstssstssts.. number is the number 5. how awesome was number 5 on the physics test? it pretty much killed the whole class by being number 5. you would read number 5.. and your brain would just shut down.. or it would get scared and wait for you outside.. either way.. you're pretty much brainless the rest of the way.. so what i did was.. i used my ass. i started filling the page with equations and random variables.. and i tried to make it look like i knew what i was doing.. even though i didn't.. but after about 30 minutes of that.. number 5 did what it does to rocks.. to my hand.. paper destroys rocks.. and number 5 destroyed my hand.. by wrapping it up the way a snake wraps things up.. when it has a present to give somebody. so when i handed my test in to the teacher.. he asked.. 'what happened to your hand?' and then number 5 did what it does to rocks to the teacher's face.. and i was like "!!!" just like that.. if you were there you would've seen the '!!!' right above my head.. but long story short.. i threw number 5 out in the rain where it melted. and teacher decided to give the whole class A's for endangering our lives by creating such an evil problem that tried to kill him.. if only the world worked the way it does in my brain..

if anyone got number 5 right.. they probably cheated. unless that person was bob. because bob knows everything..

Friday, March 31, 2006
creating space.
Current mood: yo yo yo.
water is a pretty good drink. you can never get tired of water. you get sick of other things.. but not water.

what's my problem with the news.. again? well they're constantly fucking with you. and they're constantly mixing good news and bad news.. without giving the viewers the option of either hearing the good news first or the bad news first.. and it's one thing to report about stupid things.. but they're sending people out to random locations to report on things pertaining to the ass. i think the best thing ever is rain in california.. they're always reporting on rain.. horrible terrible terrifying rain. it's like.. hey! it's raining in fullerton. let's send that new retarded guy and his raincoat over there so he can report about the rain while he looks like a retard because he's getting all wet and the wind is trying to blow off his hat so he has to look like a dork and hold it down. then we have the shootings.. they'll send somebody to downtown L.A to report on a shooting in.. san diego or something.. and they're just constantly constantly fucking with you.. every single channel has the same news to report.. and they all do it at the same time. so when you try and change the channel so you don't need to watch the commercials.. you get to hear the same crap over again.. just with some other old man reading the same lines. fuck you news. i shouldn't have started watching it.. so i guess its my fault.. i have misplaced my apostrophe or some sort of vampire thief has stolen it.

on this 'that's the way the cookie crumbles' thing.. i don't know.. how do these things get started? you'll hear somebody say.. 'darn, i didn't get the promotion.. they gave it to ass-face johnson because he has an ass for a face and i don't.. oh well.. that's the way the cookie crumbles..' how exactly does the cookie crumble? i don't know that either.. because i don't have any cookies. and if i did have some cookies.. they'd be eaten. please purchase some cookies for.. i.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
the first.
Current mood: fooled.
i accidentally ran over my cousin's foot.. which is pretty ironic because he's the star of his soccer team.. and they're playing in the championship game monday.

don't be a fool today.
Sunday, April 02, 2006
fall forward.
i do lots and lots of complaining. other people do lots and lots of drugs.. as well as lots and lots of complaining.

how can today be opening day for baseball if the angels are still playing an exhibition game? those are the types of people who do lots and lots of drugs.. as well as lots and lots of complaining about the millions of dollars they get paid to get fat and smash balls into orbit. the only non-complaining and occasionally non-ball smashing player i know is chone figgins.. and the 'ch' is pronounced the same way it is in chair. if the guy wanted to be called shawn.. he would've spelled it that way.

i'm pretty confused about where this hour goes.. it like disappeared last night while i was sleeping. so was there no 2AM this morning? that's perplexing. everybody should've ordered a pizza at 1:50AM.. because then it'd be free since you'd get your pizza sometime around 3:00AM.. 'that's one hour late mr. pizza hut delivery man. this pizza's free.' is what you'll say. but for some reason you'll still have to pay because they'll probably use some sort of logic and prove you wrong.

if i ever open up a store.. i'm going to have a midnight madness sale.. probably in march.. because that's when madness is pretty abundant. and the employees are going to have to dress up as werewolves.. and they'll have to stand around outside.. screaming.. 'our prices are.. low-ooow-aaaoooooh!' don't ever work for me.. unless i have better ideas than that.

i don't know about other people.. but i tend to fall forward when falling. and when we do 'fall back' a couple months from now.. who's going to catch us? that whole thing is based on trust.. and i really don't trust time to catch me.. last time i checked time is a big asshole.. the only good thing that time's done is turn bad milk into good cheese.. then a couple weeks later it'll turn that good cheese into bad cheese.. then that bad cheese into penicillin.
Currently listening :
Peel Slowly and See
By The Velvet Underground
Release date: 26 September, 1995

Monday, April 03, 2006
tracecart.
Current mood:
rain on my shoulders makes me smile. rain in my eyes makes it look like i cry. so what i do is.. push that rain in my eyes up onto my forehead so it looks like sweat the way hank hill says.. so when people see all that 'sweat' i can be like.. 'yeah. how's it going? i had a rough meeting with the boss.'

another monday.. and more rain. i've decided to enjoy the rain as much as possible now.. because a couple years from now.. we'll be growing oranges in alaska.. and we'll have no rain. i think i've been watching too much king of the hill. but with such an awesome show like that.. too much isn't quite nearly enough.. if that makes sense.

i'm upgrading my umbrella to a larger more michael jackson-like umbrella because turning in wet or mostly moist homework isn't good.

what i will be doing today.. while ucla is killing some floridians.. is being in class. and being awesome. and i will also be finishing up my lab write up for chemistry.. because i'm like noam chomsky when it comes to doing two things at once.

i'm really really surprised that there are only 3 students in the chemistry class that have a grade of 90 percent or higher.. and i happen to be one of them with a quality 91 percent. the highest grade is a 92.6 percent.. eh.. but i don't want to work slightly harder.. 91 is a pretty good number.. it's 19 backwards. can't go wrong with that.. or if you go outside the box.. 16. if it's upside down.. or 61.
Currently watching :
King of the Hill - The Complete Fifth Season
Release date: 22 November, 200

Tuesday, April 04, 2006
the brother.
Current mood: i got gout.
how awesome is my brother? he's more awesome-er than me.. and i'm pretty awesome..

yesterday he was on campus.. from 8:00AM to 5:30AM the next day. then he goes and sleeps in his car for 2 hours.. wakes up.. and goes to class.

i don't know.. i just thought that was extremely insane. and i'm talking about jason pi.. and not some black guy that i know.. who's cool with a non-brother calling him a brother.

'hahaha. i make fun of you.'
'shut up. i already told you to shut up.'
2:19 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

hp laserjet 1012.
Current mood: snell.
my problem is that.. i'll start studying.. then stop after 5 minutes because i feel like i know everything.. which i do. because i'm awesome. so i guess there really isn't a problem. hooray for me. i like the part when this week ends.

ucla got death-rolled by those gators. and as great as bears and bruins are.. they can't handle the death roll. although before yesterday i thought they could.. did you see that gator with its hat and sweater yesterday? he makes all of us look like dorks.

my printer is great.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
super great.
Current mood: greatly super.
i'm in an extremely good mood today. it's like.. i did some drugs and i feel really good because i did the drugs. except i didn't do any drugs.

i helped out this korean guy in chemistry today. he's great. he's extremely polite for some reason. always saying thank you and you're welcome and excuse me and please.. awesome-est part was when he raises his hand and says.. 'excuse me.' then tells the teacher that she made a mistake and corrects her mistake (she forgot the 'l' in chloride).. then after that the teacher says 'thank you.' and he says.. 'you're welcome.' ha. i got a good laugh out of that for some reason.

i probably really messed up on the multiple choice part of the exam again.. i think it's because i didn't do the reading. but at least i didn't waste my time reading about the things that weren't on the test like everybody else did.. .. and they still probably got a worse grade than me.. because i'm great.. super great.

anybody else see the rainbow at 7? stupid leprechauns and their pots of gold and homosexuality.

anybody else notice the hail around 12? stupid hail.. and its.. something and trying to be snow and rain.. but it's just hail.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
cold headed.
Current mood: dryer.
um. ummm.. i shaved my head for some reason. and now my head's cold. note to self.. don't do this again.. although that's what i told myself the last time i did it.. i should start listening to myself. and maybe stop listening to the voice in my head that kept telling me to shave my head.. while i was a couple scissor cuts away from being done.

nelson will be bald and cold headed for a couple weeks. laugh and call me a skinhead.. or a monk.. or the new clint howard.. that's this guy..

or you can continue calling me nelson.

HANK: So, are you Chinese or Japanese?
KAHN: I live in California last twenty years, but first come from Laos.
HANK: Huh?
KAHN: Laos. We Laotian.
BILL: The ocean? What ocean?
KAHN: We are Laotian. From Laos, stupid! It's a landlocked country in Southeast Asia. It's between Vietnam and Thailand, okay? Population 4.7 million.
HANK: So, are you Chinese or Japanese?
Thursday, April 06, 2006
van car.
Current mood: torpid.
after looking over today's lab.. it seems like chopping off all the hair wasn't such a good idea since.. today's lab.. requires some hair.. which we will be finding the diameter of.. through means of diffraction i think. oh well. i still have two lab partners with hair.. unless for some reason both of them shaved their heads.

for a while.. i thought today was thursday.. or i mean friday. i thought today was friday.. but it's not. i feel very tired today. i don't know why.

i'm going for the high score.
Friday, April 07, 2006
lucky land.
Current mood: lightning bolt!
so i helped my vietnamese lab partner cheat a little.. i did his online chemistry homework. my only problem is that if this thing keeps track of the ip number and all that other good stuff.. and the teacher actually checks that stuff.. then i'm going to have to cook up a story.. and i'll add a stick off butter to it.. because americans like their butter. no need to worry about this though.. teacher can't kick me out of class.. or her class average will take a hit and make her look like a bad teacher. bulletproof.

people are getting very excited that this one guy has like.. 30 something consecutive games with a hit. the record's, what? 56? and people are starting to get excited at 30-something? well.. everybody better get excited.. the record for stacking bowling balls.. is 10.. i'm 10 away fromt the record.. get fucking excited!

possibly the worst job in the world (for me at least).. would be baseball anouncer.. you have to sit through 182 games.. and just talk about shit that happens to you and the most random baseball facts.. like, the person who's gotten the most home runs while only one black guy was on the field while there was a full moon and it was raining.. after 15 games.. i'll be out of things to talk about.. so then i'll start making stuff up.. "so this one time i was in japan.. watching what they call.. baseuboru.. and i must've taken the wrong pills or something.. because a fish.. went up to bat. that's right a fish. so i'm sitting there.. freaking out.. that there's a fish wearing a hat and shirt.. but no pants.. knocking the dirt off his tail..waiting to bat. but before the first pitch comes in.. some crazed fan rushes onto the field.. and takes a bite out of the fish.. and a huge riot breaks out.. true story. you can't make that stuff up."
Saturday, April 08, 2006
ink drink.
Current mood: clear cola.
hmm.. maybe these converses were good for basketball back in the 20's.. but for today's kind of basketball that's dominated by blacks.. i don't think so.. there's a stupid hole on top of one of my toes. it feels very strange.. i don't know when it got there.. but i do know that it's there.

back to work with the ideas.. if i don't get lazy and finish it's going to be like you're on drugs.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
white corn.
Current mood: in a tube.
my physics teacher is a very good source for information.. we're getting into the fusion and fission stuff in physics.. so what he did was send us this fancy article from that new yorker magazine.. and he pretty much did all the reading for us which was great.. because i don't feel like reading it.. so i just went with what he said about the article. and after finding out a couple weeks ago that he has a phd in physics from yale.. i pretty much believe everything he says.

so what he said.. was that this article said.. that the bush administration was really really thinking about using nuclear weapons on iran.. because you know.. iran wants to start making nuclear weapons. we are soooo fucking clever. don't make that shit you want to make.. because we'll explode your ass with that shit you want to make.. that's the american way. this is sort of like.. me making some burgers.. and walking into a mcdonalds and selling them to the workers. it's like.. asking a cop to light or whatever it is you do to get your crack smoking started.. but then the cop will go rodney king on your ass and steal your crack and smoke it himself. it's like going in to rob a bank.. only to have the tellers rob you.. like they'll take your pants or something and toss a couple of ink bombs in your pockets and ruin them..

and just because we drop some nuclear bombs on iran.. doesn't mean they're going to stop trying to make them.. we're like.. giving them some free samples. it's just showing them how fucked other people would be if they had some bombs.. and we could also create a bunch of mutants if you use your imagination.. crazed 5 eyed, 9 armed mutants that want to eat your brain and use your tongue to paint their houses that are made of dirt.

we're going to end up blowing each other up.. and those aliens who need to study earth history in their high schools will all laugh at how america assed things up.

on friday. i was doing stuff in irvine.. and at the corner of michelson and culver.. i think it was.. there was a group of people holding some signs.. i thought they were having a car wash or something like that.. but then i saw what the signs said.. they said 'imagine. peace.' that made me smile. the world needs more people like this..

i sort of wanted to honk.. to let them know that they're doing good stuff.. but then again.. the last time i got honked at for my actions in irvine.. wasn't too pleasant.. so rather than having them guessing whether i liked what they were doing or whether i thought they were nuts.. i decided to not honk.

me getting honked in irvine? um.. election time.. stealing bush signs.. a crazed republican lady chasing me in her car and following me back to the apartment area.. i should've just ignored her to see how long she'd follow me on my insane walking path.. i was planning on taking a walk through the park.. that surely would've made for better story telling. oh well.. there's always the next election.. should've gotten some of those steve young signs while they were up too.

even if i agreed with everything george bush has done to america.. i'd still say he's retarded. now why can't other people do that?
Monday, April 10, 2006
pop group.
Current mood: you'll see.
people are strange. and i'm every bit as strange to them.. as they are to me.

i'm doing this stuff. it's very time consuming.. like a monster that eats time. so whenever i'm doing what i'm doing.. this monster shows up and starts eating my time. and when i try to scare it away with fire.. it just blows it out.. calls me stupid.. and reminds me that fire only works on mutants.. but not monsters. he's green. like most scary monsters are.. green with gangrene.. he looks really gross and he leaves rotten body parts around my house.

we should just make paint and markers and all that stuff smell like ass and chlorine gas.. next kid who tries to get high by sniffing that stuff won't ever touch it again.

v for vendetta has problems. why? because you got no spoilers.. how do you make a movie without spoilers? my car used to have a spoiler.. but i took it the hell off.. because my car isn't a movie.. and also because i never really had a spoiler on the car.. because it's a car.. and not a movie..

bob dylan with an electric guitar?
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
stupid lungs.
Current mood: part of a cow.
i don't like spiders. spiders are very unpleasant. the only good spider out there is that radioactive spider that bit peter parker and gave the world spiderman which would lead to the death of uncle ben.. which is very bad because i have an uncle ben. i've noticed that lots of uncles are uncle ben's. possibly the best one isn't mine though.. it's the black one that makes rice.

well.. i'm sitting at my desk.. and i see something orange moving around near all the wires.. because i don't have a mac.. and i do the wire thing with my computer. so i took a closer look.. saw some legs.. so i thought it was a beatle.. and before i could say.. 'oh, ringo. you stupid beatle. get back on the drums ringo. or john? you're not supposed to be alive..' eh.. i saw some more legs.. and realized it was a black spider with an orange ass. i caught it.. and got rid of it.. and felt very unsettled.. because that's what spiders do.. they unsettle things.

all this stop motion stuff is driving me nuts.. 1 hour for about 5 seconds of crap happening.. i'm going to have figure out how to speed things up.

i'm going to go for a very long run.. i will complain about my lungs being stupid afterwards.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
aaarr. arrrrrrr!
Current mood: 54321.
if i were a pirate.. all i'd do all day.. is go.. 'arrrrr..' just like that. 'arrrrr' and occasionally count my dubloons.. but since i'm a pirate.. i probably don't have any proper schooling.. so i wouldn't know how to count. so i'd just go.. 'arrr.. many dubloons have i.. arrr!' yarrrrrrrr.

back to work.. or not like.. real work.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
your pork.
Current mood: p = mv
i'm sick of this ass tv they have on.. the only good stuff is i love lucy.. because those people back then with their cigarettes knew how to write.

well. every now and then the news.. will give you some news. best part was the top secret force field that we're trying to make.. but i guess we can't really call it top secret.. since the damn news just told everybody about it.. and i don't know why it's being called a force field.. it's like a gun that shoots missles or something like that. if some terrorist fucker shoots a rocket at one of our tanks.. some radar is supposed to pick up its signal.. and track it down until it's within range of the gun.. then the gun shoots the dangerous part off.. but the rest of the missle will still keep moving and slam into the tank.. causing minimal damage.. well.. that's what i got out of it.. if that isn't what they meant.. they should've done a better job reporting on things.

inertia!

people who think they're vampires are wierd.. and gross.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
marlboro points.
Current mood: brain.

this is great.. john wilkes booth.. with what looks like a cigar.. picking a fight with the security guy.. and president lincoln.. well he's been shot by mr. booth. but the gun looks like a cigar to me.. but that's probably because my head's been stuck on smoking all morning for some reason. i don't even smoke.. what the hell. but do notice how relaxed the women look.. and how lincoln's wife is pretty much unphased by the whole incident.

i have testing.. every other week.. until may 24. no fun.

just once.. i'd like to see the rabbit get his trix. i've never seen anybody try so hard.. and get so close so many times.. only to have the only thing he lives for taken away from him.. well.. part of it is his fault.. he's always dancing around celebrating when he should be eating. don't be a retard rabbit.. get some rabies.. and start biting everything you see.. you'll bite into the trix eventually.

chemistry is very easy.. now that it's more math.. than the actual chemistry. the teacher's always talking about how the next semester of chemistry is going to be like hell.. she doesn't know what she's talking about.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
it was yellow when i got it.
Current mood: ring.

i don't know why i find that funny.. but it is.

no lab tomorrow which is great. but next week there is lab.. and there's also a test before the lab.. so next week is like.. as bad as things get in physics.

physics needs to be more like chemistry.. where everything sounds hard.. but they all turn out to be very easy.. physics is just the opposite.. a lot of things sound easy.. but are rather difficult.

i really like how little work i need to put into chemistry.. for other people it's different though.. because they aren't a super genius like me.. did you know when i was born the doctor had to do surgury on my brain because it was too big and he was affraid that i'd be way to smart and somehow deliver myself.. so he wouldn't get paid.. so he stole a part of my brain.. and then fed it to some cattle.. and that's how mad cow disease started.. that's like one of those extremely fucked up stories of why things are they way they are.. like the chinese one where a bunch of ants left a salt machine running and it filled the ocean.. which is why the sea tastes like salt.. a much better reason is we're drinking a bunch of whale piss that just so happens to be less dense than water so it floats around up top.. that's probably not true either..
Thursday, April 20, 2006
stone pots.
Current mood: halogen.
people smoke today.. or they smoke almost everyday.. but today they'll be smoking more than they usually smoke. and is it just marijuana? or could you smoke crack today? like when everybody's rolling their joints.. and you start doing whatever it is that you do to get your crack smoking started.. will everybody start looking at you funny? just say no. because that's what those dancing animals in elementary school told us to do.

some doctor gave my uncle these pills to help him sleep.. and it turns out that those pills had a nice little side effect that makes some people who take them get really paranoid and insane.. so he stopped taking those pills. marijuana doesn't make you paranoid and insane does it?

legalizing marijuana will only be bad for the people who, for some reason, oppose legalizing it now.. just go outside today.. and that's exactly how life would be if marijuana were legal.. anybody who wants to smoke marijuana is already doing it.. all we'd get is a whole bunch of new plants to exchange our carbon dioxide for nice breathable dioxygen gas.

somebody is doing very well in the chemistry class.. they have a 94 percent.. i have a 90 percent.. but that 4 percent is probably like 10 hours more work. so unless they're putting in less time than i am.. then i really don't care as long as i have an A. nelson likes cutting corners and taking shortcuts.. mario kart is fun.

it's very funny when people play video games and start moving around like it's really helping them dodge bullets and stuff.. you should see my cousin play tony hawk.. the chin goes up if he needs that extra bit of height.. of course with me.. i just turn things up to 11.. to get that extra push.. like.. yeah.. 10's fine.. but 11 is great.

i've also ruled out my 11th toe coming from my mom standing next to a microwave or any other super radiation producing device.. because radiation isn't too good at causing mutations.. still in the running for why i have an extra toe.. is.. my mom drinking.. or my mom smoking.. or my mom doing both.. beer in the left hand.. cigarette in the right.. although she tells me she's never done them before.. i have my doubts.. i think she just tells me that because she feels bad for having a child with an extra toe..
Friday, April 21, 2006
f_ _k.
Current mood: h. dumpty's.
there's lots of things you could fill those blanks with.. i suggest filling it with an 'o' and a 'r'.. to get 'fork!' other suggestions include: funk.. and fuck.. i really thought i could think of more.. feek isn't a word is it?

aah. you know how when you do something.. and you think you're finished so you put everything away.. but then you find out that you really aren't finished.. so you have to pull everything out again.. so that all those loose ends and stuff like that are no longer loose. yeah.. i had one of those things today.. except things are still loose since i'm not going to pull the vacuum out again so i can suck up some dust.. what i did was put my lungs to work.. and blew the dust into a trashcan.. or tried to blow the dust into a trashcan.. getting 30% of the dust in the trash is better than having.. 100% of the dust just sitting there.. i've also given that other 70% some kinetic energy.. so the cosmos will distribute some fancy karma accordingly.

i can't quite make micro-chips in my room yet.. so that's like.. i don't know.. i don't want to make micro-chips in my room. but i would like to have one of those spacey looking suits to be extra sterile in.

my mom just called.. she told me she might be home later today.. but i told her that she couldn't talk to her because she wasn't home right now.. she was at work. she decided to stop talking after that.

i had this really wierd dream last night.. but i can't remember what happened.. but i'm sure it would've made a very good movie.. or at least a terrible sitcom on fox that would only stay on the air for two and a half episodes.. the third will be interupted halfway through by a car chase.. which will end in an extremely bloody knife vs. the police gun fight.. the guy would twirl his knife around like that guy in indiana jones.. but then the cop would just shoot him like indiana in indiana jones. and all of this will push some child over the edge.. and they'll end up bringing a gun to school.. and shoot his foot.. and the politicians will blame the music industry for assing up our children.. but then the music industry will buy it's own island and call it.. america #1.. because the music industry likes its #1's.. i'm actually a fan of #2's as well.. so they make me the ambassador.. and i get to ride around in some reverse pope-mobile that keeps everybody safe from me. why the hell would you want to kill the pope? life would be very easy if everybody was blind.

it's nice to let the mind go outside of the box. just make sure you give it lots of airholes when it's in the box.. because bad things can happen if your mind doesn't have its airholes.
Monday, April 24, 2006
k .5^(t/T)
Current mood: urban.
if i didn't make so many mistakes.. i write with a pen more. pen writing is very classy. if you have no class.. then you get yourself a pen and you're halfway to getting some class. of course.. you could always stick with writing with a pencil.. as long as you don't erase.. that's what i don't like about pencils.. the erasing.. i often find myself writing as if i were writing with a pen. i prefer crossing things out.. scribbling out of frustration.. and the occasional spontaneous tearing of the paper and eating it out of anger.. um. i don't do that last one. erasing is awful.. i think. not only are you left with those little eraser babies that you have to push aside after you erase.. but you can never really get stuff completely erased unless you tear a hole in the paper.. so when you erase.. your mistakes are constantly there.. staring back at you.. mocking you.. until you just can't take it anymore and just say.. the fuck with this.. and stop doing your work..

this can actually be avoided.. lots of things can be avoided.. but who wants to avoid things? that's why you always pick the fat guys in mario kart.. so you can just smash through everybody and laugh at them as you drive by.. and because donkey kong is one of those fat guys.. and ties are very very fashionable.. especially since you're a naked monkey. but since i'm skinny.. and i don't smash through things very well.. i'm stuck erasing my paper over and over.. trying to get the stupid function to integrate correctly.. and then in the end after a fat man's ass load of work.. i finally got the answer in the correct form.. but i put the minus sign in the wrong place.. so that made things go slightly less smoothly.. but it's very easy to change a minus into a plus.. changing the plus into a minus.. required erasing..

there's this person in my logic class who enjoys making things more complicated than they actually are.. she tends to overthink.. and she ends up confusing herself.. then she asks questions.. and i'm sure her questions start confusing other people.. and she always leaves early.. and asks questions on things that were answered the previous week.. after she left. she went on and on for a good 5 minutes.. on how.. a 'cheap raincoat' is actually different from a 'raincoat.' rather than going completely into the stuff i'm learning.. all you need to know is.. a cheap raincoat.. is still a raincoat.. so... that means they're the same.

i paid very little attention today when the teacher was telling us about how to do the lab.. it's like.. sure you're my chemistry teacher.. but you're no hrant seffery.. hrant was somebody you listen to about chemistry.. he was the TA i had for lab at uci. this is what hrant told us.. 'do the lab.' then he'd sit down and fall asleep.. but if he was awake.. he'd show off his superior chemistry intellect.. by taking a bunch of latex gloves and sticking them in liquid nitrogen and smashing it on the floor.. he then poured some out on the desk and started freezing his papers.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
very not.
Current mood: verrrry.
this stuff is very not good. i have a physics test tomorrow. plus lab. plus i'm slowly running out the the best tasting gum ever.. and i should try to pick some up later this week.. or the following week.. it's very very orangey.. orange-y.

the chemistry teacher mentioned how.. what bush plans to do about our oil.. means gas prices are going to start smoking marijuana.. and get very high.. which isn't a very good idea since.. it's gas.. and smoking.. and fires.. and explosions.. but she's going to do some things with numbers.. and get some nice gas information for us on monday.. which is nice since it'll take up some class time.. and class has been very boring lately... and there's been talks that gas is probably going to hit the $4 mark pretty soon.. talks.. mostly done by the chemistry teacher since this is the first that i've heard of such news.

the definition of 'souper' in french isn't what you think it'd be.. i can't remember exactly what it was.. but i do know what it wasn't.. it had nothing to do with. soup.. or being super.

this is totally very not bad. very not bad at all.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
a piece of chicken.
Current mood: test.
a bunch of plates can be called china. but a very large nation which consists of billions of people with children who look like my cousin.. can also be called china.. i don't know why.. but every single one of them looks like my cousin.. makes no sense. i should start calling steaks 'america.' i would like my america medium rare served on your finest china.

"fucking blue screen.. standby. bitch! fuck! fuck this... rarrrrrararRR."
Saturday, April 29, 2006
super land.
Current mood: reread.
i find it quite strange how people watch the draft.. you wait for 15 minutes.. and the highlight of that 15 minutes will be a name. but then again.. my views on the draft are a bit skewed.. since the redskins only have 2 picks.. in the first 5 rounds. go!

there's this thing about schools not being able to keep their mascots.. because their mascot just happens to be some sort of native american thing. eh.. if bears could talk.. they'd ask for some honey and salmon.. and they'd also ask for that little girl to stop stealing their food and sleeping in their beds.. because it's not 'juuuust right.' it's fucked up.. and they'd also mention how they're ok with teams being called the bears or bruins or california black bear (the best kind of bear that's not a bernstein bear).

i'd like to know where to send stuff to the white house and actually get a response.. other than the automated response that tells us how busy they are and can't reply to all the letters and how they didn't even read it.. but i have a pretty awesome idea.. since the US isn't looking too good to other nations.. i think we should change our name to 'super land.' who's going to mess with a country called 'super land?' if we had that name.. all we'd have to do is sit around and look nice.. if somebody decided to drop some bombs on us.. they'd get so much shit from everybody for bombing super land.. it'd be like.. 'dude.. you bombed super land.. now what are we going to do? we only had the one super land.. and now it's gone.. you fuckers are going to pay for this..' that'll only happen if somebody decided to bomb us.. and also if we change our name to super land..
Saturday, May 06, 2006

Current mood: porl/
i felt the awfuls today.

the good thing about the lakers losing is that retards will now shut up about the lakers.. hopefully they'll shut up.. but they usually don't shut up. and even though the losing part isn't too good.. seeing them go to game 7 was quite entertaining.

2 tests. every week. for the next 3 weeks.. who's idea was this?
Sunday, May 07, 2006
free germs.
Current mood: free germs.
why did the negro cross the road? because there was that chicken on the other side.. but we'd all go get some chicken.. even if it was across the street. chicken is pretty great. i mean.. sure. we could wait for the chicken to cross the road and come to us.. but nobody likes to wait.. which is why nobody plays the waiting game anymore..

'germ free adolescents' has been stuck in my head for quite some time. i think spring's really here. let's all get global warming going. because ozone is bad stuff. it's really explosive.. and i think it causes cancer. i too cause cancer.. can anybody tell me how magic johnson is living with aids.. the disease.. not the people.. anyway i think it's spelled differently. so forget it. well. the smell you get right after you cut the grass.. or that smell you get right when the rain starts to fall.. that's supposed to be ozone too. i remember there was a guy called ozone on that gi joe show when i got horrible.. meaning when all the characters started dressing in strange bright neon colors.. dayglo-ish. probably like you were on acid.. or like my physics teachers says.. 'i don't know what you're talking about.. what's that?'

if i were a rocket.. i'd fly up into space. and find a ufo to crash into.. and then i'll tell the aliens that we got strawberry ice cream on earth.. and they'll all come down to earth and we'll have a party.. with hats and those blowing things that make noises and if you're standing really close to somebody you can poke them in the eye with it.. and then the aliens will go back to mars.. and tell us to get the hell out of there. i like jupiter and saturn better.. no aliens there.

ho hum.
Currently listening :
Germ Free Adolescents
By X-Ray Spex
Release date: 29 March, 2005

Wednesday, May 10, 2006
press start.
Current mood: up.
just my luck right? tomorrow's lab is supposed to be highly educational and quite long. but at least it's the last lab.. and also when i get home i'll have some good tv to watch. oh and tomorrow's my birthday.. we shouldn't even have class.. it should be like a national holiday. but i think you have to be dead to actually get a holiday.. so when i die.. i'm going to haunt the hell out of the people in charge of the holidays.. and if you're still alive after i die.. and working.. you'll be very happy to be celebrating super ass day.. or i don't care what they call it.. as long as people get the day off.. if you're retired.. it'll be like any other day.. but you won't call the day by it's usual name.

more famous people need to be born on the 11th.. salvador dali is pretty awesome.. but i had no idea who he was until i looked it up. his paintings are very melted.

i really hope construction on the library continues during finals.. not that i'd like to work with a bunch of shit going on outside.. but if it means a certain somebody gets extra irritated by it then i hope for lots of accidents and stuff crashing around.. but i don't want anybody to get injured.. unless they get a really nice deal with the injury and they get lots of money and they're happy with it.

last semester it was.. what score do i need to get an A.. this semester it's.. what do i need to get to keep an A.. but still do the least amount of work.. make sure you let yourself evolve.. life is better that way.

anybody remember that greatexpectations book.. and that stupid girl bitched about the jacks being called knaves or something? yeah.. that's all i remember about that book.. that and some of the expectations were good.. but not quite great.

born to lose: the last rock 'n' roll movie.. not a happy ending.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
to me.
Current mood: not drunk.
here's what i can do.

a. get drunk tomorrow.
b. get drunk in lab today.
c. both a. and b. but not c.

so what happens when you pick c. is.. a bunch of confusing stuffs.. don't pick it unless you know what you're talking about.

i'm not liking how tonight's lab is sounding.. mr. crowell gives the worst gifts.

if P then Q
P
therefore Q

makes sense to me. i'm 21. old is spelled with an invisible H. and i really like how the english nerds in my logic class explained how 'invisible' can have many different meanings.. i only have one meaning for invisible.. 'i ain't see no shit.'

"don't talk when i'm fucking singing." - johnny thunders.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
xyz.
Current mood: jerries.
and that's pronounced.. 'ziyzizzyz.zzz.'

seeing that steak dinner on the floor partially digested wasn't nice to look at.. nor was it nice to smell. 2 more weeks and i'll do it again..

not feeling like sleeping last night.. i decided to pick up this book.. and i started to read it. good book.. so far.

two tests this week.. 3 if i feel like finishing chemistry early.. which i do.

i saw this video of this insane religious lady. i have no idea where these people come from.. but i don't like them.. you'll probably be a bit angry or something after watching it.. so i suggest not watching it.. you know.. like if that waiting period for that gun you bought is over.. and it's a pretty big downer to see a person like this.. but here's a link.

fox news baptist protestor

i don't know.. something is terribly wrong with these people.. not every person is like this though.. and that's really really good for the rest of us.
Currently reading :
The Dirt: Confessions of the World's Most Notorious Rock Band
By Tommy Lee
Release date: 22 May, 2001

Monday, May 15, 2006
"prostitues in spandex and needle-thin heels.."
Current mood: sunny.
"prostitues in spandex and needle-thin heels.."
i thought the 'needle-thin' part was pretty clever.. because he was just talking about cocaine.. and how he was halucinating.. and talking to imaginary people and looking for an imaginary dog.. where did it go?

this book on mötley crüe is pretty entertaining. it's something about the way it's written.. i think. it's not some crap that you really need to think about.. i do enough thinking.. reading a book that i'm not forced to read shouldn't require thinking.

funny story.. the person with the highest grade in the class really fucked up on the lab practical.. they got like a 66 percent or something.. and the really funny part about it is.. it just so happens to be that girl who is constantly kissing ass and acts like she's really smart.. you know the type of person who's always answering stuff first.. every single time.. raising their hand to correct the teacher.. or not really ask a question.. but they just want to hear the teacher tell them that they're right.. and they're always reminding the teacher that we need to turn stuff in.. that's the type of person this girl is..

i'm pretty bothered by her.. today after i left lab early.. because i'm quick like that.. she went and reminded the teacher that we still needed to turn in some graphs from 4 months ago.. what the fuck. 4 months.. what happened 4 months ago? you don't fucking know because it was 4 months ago.. and the shit is only 5 points.. 5 points isn't going raise your grade very much.. but people who can't find their graphs are going to get fucked. let's all thank the vietnamese lab partner for telling me i need to turn some shit in.. and also he needs a copy of those graphs because that girl is a bitch.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
knee grows.
Current mood: negros.
the bad thing about physics is.. that when you think you're doing something right.. you're actually doing it wrong.. and when you think it's wrong.. it's actually right.. and then everything just gets really confusing.. so then you stop doing it.. but then you remember that you have a chemistry test to study for.. which you don't want to study for.. so you go back to the physics and continue typing in the same wrong answer in lots of different forms into the online grading thing.. and it keeps telling that you're wrong.. and to try again.. so you get frustrated and start entering a bunch of crap.. and then it tells you that you entered to many answers within 3 minutes.. and that you should get help from the teacher because you're just guessing now.. but i have to wait until 4:30 to do that.. also i need to make sure i can get my lab checked off at 4:30.. or at lest make sure i'm doing the right thing.. so i can get it checked tomorrow.

the chemistry teacher has given us the choice of taking the final on friday rather than next wednesday.. i have my physics final on thursday.. to get a B.. i need to get one problem right.. to get an A.. i can only miss one..

i wish time would go by faster.

i think my guitar was really out of tune or something.. i don't have a tuner.. but i think it sounds pretty good right now.

i should do some studying.. or reading of text and stuff.

i've decided to relax a bit.. and make sure i'm not so stressed. i'll be done next wednesday at 9:00a.m.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
nelson is a whale's name.
Current mood: whale-ish.
my logic test didn't go quite as well as my physics test.. i completely killed my physics test (not really but i got what i needed to get an A). well.. don't be surprised if you see me on the news wanted for murder. but hey.. don't fuck with me.. i got an A in physics. and for some reason i feel like i know everything now. so.. punch me in the face. then tell my i don't know how to block punches.. and if i do block it.. punch me when i'm asking 'what the hell are you doing?'

during one of my many study breaks today.. i got a laugh thinking about names.. like.. a guy with the name leslie.. probably gets a lot of 'leslie's a girl's name' from people.. same thing with girls named chris or something. then my mind hit the name of a person in my logic class.. ouna or ohna or something like that.. and i had no idea where to categorize it. and as terrible as this makes me sound.. i thought that sounded like a whale's name.. so i guess when you're naming a child.. try not to make things too unique.. because fuckers like me will probably ruin it. but you have to admit.. that ouna does sound a bit whale-ish. but there is a good side to all this.. anybody who names their kid 'smokey' or 'winnie' can have them saying.. 'it's a fucking bear's name' when people ask them about it.

chemistry final tomorrow at 7AM. then freedom thanks to president lincoln.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
mememememememe.
without school. and now that most of tv has gotten pretty awful.. i've completely lost track of the time. like.. today. i think it's saturday for some reason.. but it feels like a monday.. but it's actually sunday. when it's 1 in the afternoon.. i think it's 4.

i don't like time.. people are always asking for more time.. i'd rather not have more time.. but less crap to do in the time given.

i think i got straight A's. no more of those homosexual A's for me.. and definietly no more oakland A's either.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
california raisins.
Current mood: the opposite of lard.
my eyes feel like raisins or something. and not just any raisins.. but california raisins.. stupid instrument playing freaks.. what the hell are you? because last time i checked.. raisins weren't.. these giant wrinkled purple things with arms and legs.. and one of them wore sunglasses and sneakers.. yeah.. last time i checked.. raisins were in breakfast cereal for older people (which by the way gets very soggy very fast.) or stuck in cookies or covered in chocolate.. but definitely not on stage dancing around and singing about.. i don't know.. drugs or something.

how the hell are you even supposed to play an instrument when your hands are that big? well.. i guess it's one way to play.. but he's left handed.. the one with the guitar that is.. for some reason.. left handed guitars look really really really messed up unless somebody's playing it.. or at least holding it. just.. look at one. notice how the singer has that eye shadow.. or whatever that blue shit above the eyes is. and i guess the guy with the sax.. has to reach over to get his fingers in the right spot because he only has 4 fingers on each hand.. also look at the angry neighbors looking in throught the window. one of them is a smurf i think.. and the red one.. is like some bootleg kool-aid man.

and yeah.. how fucked up are these things?

people should do less drugs when they need to figure out how to sell raisins.

for some reason i think i hear one of those trash trucks doing its thing with that mechanical arm.. um.. not that thing.. the dumping the trash thing. except.. it's thursday. and.. it's like.. 10 at night. well.. it might not be a trash truck.. but something's going on outside. my guess is going to be godzilla is being pushed around in a shopping cart.. and if the opposite of a raisin is a grape.. then what exactly is the opposite of california? and don't give me some political stuff either.. like.. saying the opposite of california is.. ass state on the other side. because i won't know what you're talking about.
Monday, June 05, 2006
feh feh.. feH!
Current mood: fFFeh!
i don't know.. my pinky hurts. my left pinky. as opposed to my right pinky.. and if anybody else has any other pinkies.. other than their left and right ones.. get yourself to the mütter museum.. unless you just call something your pinky.. in that case.. think of a new name.. because that's stupid.

i'm probably going to end up cutting my hand while washing a knife or something.. forgetting which end is the sharp end can only lead to bad things. unless you want stuff to get cut.. because then it leads to good things. but another unless for if the cutting happens to be the cutting of a person.. which could only lead to bad things.. like people being cut..

anson was saying stuff about taking the jack daniels.. and how he didn't have anything to drink with coke.. at first.. i thought.. hey.. they don't have coke at their place. and then i thought of stuff he could actually drink with his coke.. if he has coke at his place (he must be hiding it when i come over..). so i said.. drink it with pepsi.. that's exactly what somebody should do.. somebody meaning me.. but i don't have the time.. or i do have the time.. i don't have the money.. i get money and time confused.. because people are always saying 'time is money.' when it's really 'money is time.' or that's what a prostitute will tell you. but yeah.. mix some pepsi with coke.. and if it doesn't explode upon contact.. sell it as 'the best tasting cola ever' and you got some stupid marketing gimmick that only a retard.. me.. could come up with.

muddy waters is supposed to be the guy who could really make a guitar cry and moan.. if i could.. i'd make my guitar snort cocaine all day.. and then spend the nights laughing and crying in the corner of my room.. and did i say muddy waters? because it's supposed to be t-bone walker.

i find it odd.. how my aunt would find a turtle just as round as my old turtle that died around this time last year... he like.. grew tired of living or something.. so he flipped himself over and couldn't get back on the right side.. so he drowned. that's the way kings die. but this turtle that she gave me isn't going to die like that.. so it's probably not a king.

my foot's asleep. the rest of me should join it very soon.

'feh!' is the newest sound of disappointment.. it's pronounced.. ffffeawghph.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
last time i checked.. or i've never really checked.. i lied.
Current mood: numb faced.
i never understood the human number part.

today's supposed to be some bad day or something. with it being 6/6/06.. what's wrong with 666? the chinese think that it's a pretty good number.. it means.. 'shit's running smoothly.' we get caught up in this junk way too much. we also fuck around too much.. and i'm not just talking about the chinese.. it's everybody. we fuck around too much.. and we put way too much effort into things that are stupid.. effort's probably not the word i'm looking for.. but i don't feel like thinking.. that.. and thinking probably isn't my best option right now. we also have to remember that this whole 666 thing shows up everywhere.. from what i've seen on tv.. the devil is a pretty ok guy.. you'll get what you want.. but in the end.. you'll be fucked.. i don't know.. you have 999.. which is 666 upside down.. do is 999 supposed to be some good number? i'd end up rounding 999 up to 1000. with 666.. and you can do is bump it up to 670.. this really isn't going anywhere.. moving along.. moving right along. vom.

and if something bad were to happen.. when exactly would it happen? because china's like.. 16 hours ahead of california.. so are they going to get killed before us? or are we going to get killed early.. it'd be nice to know what time zone god lives in.. so we could prepare and stuff.

i keep seeing this commercial for 'geraldo at large.' it's telling me that shark seasons here.. or coming up.. i don't remember which.. but there's this product that could save my life.. but i have to wait until 11 to find out what it is.. and not just wait until 11.. but i have to spend my time at 11 watching that 'geraldo at large' show.. and they probably won't even tell me at 11.. they'll drag things on.. maybe tell me about how retards are stealing school books to try and learn on their own.. but the teachers aren't letting them.. and then.. i'll say around.. 11:09.. they'll cut to commercial.. and then remind me to keep watching so i can find out about this life saving product.. then i'm guessing around.. 11:32.. they'll finally get to the shark thing.. then waste some more time telling a story about how some kid gets attacked by a shark and loses his ass because he was swimming around like a wounded seal.. so.. finally.. 11:36.. we'll find out about this product.. and it'll be something stupid like.. shark urine.. or some water tazer.. that'll kill you too if you use it underwater. i have my own shark repellant.. it's called.. doing the hollywood stuff they did in jaws. that.. or.. the shark urine.. sharks will think you're a shark if you smell like shark urine.. just like if you go hunting you get the deer piss and rub it all over yourself so you don't smell like a human.. i wonder if deer rub themselves down with human urine if they want to blend in.. and along those lines.. why don't people piss on themselves if they want to blend in? last time i had to blend in.. i picked up a korean newspaper and pretended i was reading it. oh.. and next time you see a commercial like this.. go out for a swim and hope you get attacked by a shark.. then you could sue fox for not giving you the information sooner.

my head feels very heavy right now.

i finally figured out why these newer simpsons episodes aren't as great as the older ones.. it's not that they're newer.. certain new things are great.. um.... new.. new wave. that's pretty awesome.. nobody even remembers old wave. but back to the simpsons.. i've learned that the new simpsons do wayyy too much explaining.. you know how the jokes that need explainations aren't as funny.. and i typed 'ass' instead of as. i'm funny. like.. you'll get your explaination.. and then you'll laugh.. but it isn't as funny. that's what's wrong with these new simpsons.. like the one that was on today.. the crap about lisa being in a spelling bee.. first of all.. what the hell. stuff they show now requires too much setting up.. random humor is how you do stuff now.. and it's how they did stuff before.. i don't know what happened.. but i don't like the new simpsons.. and they're coming back for another season i bet.. come on.. you already beat the flinstones.. just stop now. it's starting to get awful.

wow.. i really don't shut up... and iron maiden's number of the beast is a good song for today.

i've hit that feeling. it's a nice feeling.
Friday, June 16, 2006
superman.
Current mood: A+
i don't like superman. him and his stupid thing about green rocks.. not even big green rocks.. but little tiny green rocks. usually it's big giant stuff that'll do the job with any normal person.. just imagine the AIDS virus walking down the street. you wouldn't don't what the hell to do. and it'd like crawl all over your car.. so then you couldn't drive it anymore. and you'd have to get the insurance thing going.. and explain to them that the AIDS virus just raped your car and smashed it.. but if there aren't any little green rocks around superman will stop that from happening.. but he might have AIDS afterwards. you don't fight a giant AIDS virus without something bad happening to you. that's just the rules or something.

so i cleaned my guitar. and it smells like lemons. but then there's the problem of my guitar not sounding very lemon-like.. it sounds sort of orangey. you know.. like.. chinese dessert.. minus the fortune cookies and that red bean stuff that i don't like. this is something superman can't help me with.

oh. today's hot too. nelson's solution.. have superman fly over there and punch the sun into another galaxy. you know he can do it... come on.. he's superman. and then when we need the sun back because we start freezing.. well tell him to bring it back.. basically superman's the world's bitch.

and there's another fast and furious movie coming out.. which is just awful news. somebody's going to end up in hell for this.. and they won't get to hang out with superman.. who'll be extremely depressed in heaven because he'll have nobody to save.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
read as in red.. but sometimesreed.
Current mood: bollocks.
i've learned that it's not reading that i don't like.. but it's hard reading. the type of reading that takes you an hour to read a page because you don't know what the hell you just read. i blame physics.. and the tv. tv makes things.. bad or something. commercials and the constant fucking with you that it does for the ratings. books do that too.. except it's all your own fault.. and maybe a little bit of the author's fault too. so it's not as bad. i'm reading more. which can only be good news. unless i happen to start reading mein kamf.. for reason's other than somebody's making me read it. i'm going to start reading faust.. for some reason.. either that or the homosexual writing of oscar wilde.

i don't read much.. so if i actually finish a book that i'm not forced to read. it's probably a good book.. also if it's not a children's book too. although some of those are pretty entertaining. yellow yellow is one of those.

so.. is it 'Korea' with a K. or 'Corea' with a C. because today a bunch of koreans had scarves that said.. 'Corea.' with a C. just to be safe.. we should consider spelling it.. Ckorea. but that looks really wierd. but the koreans have to be right about it being.. 'corea.' because when's the last time you misspelled your own name?

that's all i got..
Thursday, June 22, 2006
6:00 am.
Current mood: difficult and stuff.
some pigeons decided that the roof area above my window would be a quality spot for a new home. so what i've got for the past couple days. were certain moments of constant pigeon mating calls or something. and wild flapping and flying around my window. i enjoy watching them tear away at my neighbor's plant that hangs slightly over the wall too. as long as i don't get shitted on when i'm taking out the trash or something i'll be ok though.. and today there weren't as many pigeon calls and violent flapping. maybe because the sun was very shiny today. like.. stuffs that shine.

and who the hell needs a rooster when the pigeons will cause a ruckus around 6:00 every morning.. which i don't mind now.. because then i can get up and watch soccer in spanish. it's either soccer in spanish.. or soccer in korean. and since the koreans feel the need to put everything in korean.. so i don't know what's going on score-wise if i missed it earlier. sure.. i could learn korean.. but it's much easier to just listen to the mexicans and their 'gol... GOOOOOL.. GOOOOOL.. GOOOOLAASSO.. GOLASO. GOOOL!' and they say it just like that which i like. always with the really calm first one like nothing happened.. then they completely lose it.. i could only imagine what their doing in their announcers booth.. because the way they say it.. makes it seem like their smashing things with joy.. and jumping on tables.. and more breaking of things out of happiness. i also get to brush up on some spanish.. for example. a pelota is a ball.. that's.. pretty much all i've learned. because i knew everything else before.. or the stuff i need to know.

faust is hard. i'm on.. page 2. i forgot to water the plants too.
Currently reading :
Goethe's Faust
By Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
Release date: 04 December, 1962

Friday, June 23, 2006
slurrish.
Current mood: kk and k.
last night i had this dream where i was getting my lip pierced.. not actually my lip.. but that area right under it.. and they just couldn't get that needle pin thing they use to poke holes to get through. they got two good pokes at my lip area before i woke up.. there was some stuff before that.. but i can't quite remember.. i think i was stealing something. hm.. i can't remember if there was color either. i should check on that next time.

my interpretation: i'm not getting my lip pierced.. i have a tough lower face area.. which would mean i lack a glass jaw.. which also means i should become a fighter.. if not a boxer. needles don't work.. so i won't do drugs.. or if i do drugs.. i'm going to have to smoke them.. but my lungs suck. the bad kind of suck. not the kind of sucking they're supposed to be doing.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
i think this is long.. really long even.
Current mood: jack.
i don't know why i do the things i do.. but if i did.. you wouldn't need to ask why i did the things i did. meaning.. fuck. or something like that because i can't think of anything else.

i've been listening to a lot of television.. not the kind that you normally watch.. but the one that you normally listen to. the band.. and not the invention of that one guy i did a report on in 8th grade english.. um. philo farnsworth. i had to look it up again because i forgot who it was. but he's pretty great. all the other kids decided to do some other stupid person.. i don't exactly remember what we were supposed to be doing. but that's the guy i chose to do.. and it was a good choice.. even now it would be a good choice.. because you don't even think about the guy who invented the tv.. and yet most of us use it everyday. all we can think about is those american idols.. and ass dork on that one show.. you know the one.

another disturbing fact.. if you consider anything i've said a disturbing fact.. only 18 percent of americans have passports and have been outside the US. and yet.. 90 percent of us will say this is the best god damn fucking land on the whole entire planet.. and maybe even the universe, if aliens don't exist.. or if they did.. and they weren't so advanced as those alien types would make you think they are with their UFO's and stuff.. then maybe we could say it's the greatest place to live in the universe too. and also i made up the 90 percent thing.. but that's just the way i feel.. i'm included in that 90 though.. mainly because china has really sub-par facilities.. i can't piss when some guy is squating next to me and taking a shit in a little area that can't be flushed.. just not how i do things.. not how anybody should do things.

so.. greenland is melting either 5 times faster than 2 years ago or.. 2 times faster than 5 years ago.. or maybe even 5 times faster than 5 years ago.. i can't remember. check the front page of the LA times today. all i know is.. we're fucked. like.. just start calling earth the baby's mama because we're that fucked. i had a thought though.. maybe the ozone layer isn't as screwed up as we think it is.. maybe the sun is getting hotter.. but that's just stupid. you know who else is stupid? yes.. me.. but there's somebody else too. i'm sure you can figure it out.

the pigeons decided to come back today.. after leaving for a day.. and they were making these really awful noises too. sort of like they were cutting down trees with chainsaws.. and then making the awful noises they were making.

i started watching the office after my brother told me it was so good. and i couldn't stop wathing for some reason.. which made me come to the conclusion.. that watching good tv.. is like injecting heroin into your eyes.. you don't know why you do it.. but you keep doing it.. if i actually did heroin though.. this might be different.. i'd probably know what i was talking about.

why am i reading faust? it's this wierd poetic style crap that i find difficult to read.. like i don't know what the hell is going on. i'll read.. and read. and read.. but then i don't know what it was that i read. so i'll read it again.. and just keep reading the same thing over and over again.. it's sort of like the instructions that shampoo gives you.. lather, rinse, repeat.. except.. i just read and repeat.. and i also don't repeat when i wash my hair. maybe because my hair isn't quite long enough to deserve a repeat. repeats are for tv shows anyway.

i wonder why i stopped playing the violin.. it wasn't because of the teacher.. i thought the last teacher was great. he made me outline the 'correct violin stance' on a malina folder.. and stand on that while i practiced.. did i mention the fact that he was mexican? well.. he was. he also had a nephew named nelson which i thought was just.. unheard of or something.. since they were mexican.. and his name was manuel.. so i was expecting a jose or something.. manuel g. saurez. look him up.. he's a pretty good teacher.. although him leaving his computer on.. and having some really nice disney screen saver.. was a distraction. and i fell asleep a lot while i was there waiting for my turn.. my brother was there for his lesson. and he usually went first.. and i'd just.. sit back and enjoy the screen saver.. my least favorite one was the fireworks one. which manuel said.. 'who needs to go to disneyland when i got it on my computer?' my favorite was the one where goofy moved stuff around and got tired and pushed things around in such strange motions.. those are the only two i can remember...

trader joe's had a deal on jack daniel's.. so i sort of bought another bottle. and i drank some for some reason tonight as i watched the office.. hey.. i saved $2.. if i were jewish.. i'd probaby be extremely funny.. and i'd say saving $2 would be the deal of lifetime.. until you find a deal that saves more than that..

i've been looking up the facts on a bunch of the bands and musicians that i listen to. interesting stuff. but all this accomplished was.. i want to watch 'this is spinal tap' again.. so i can hear nigel talk about how 11 is higher than 10.. which it is. 11 toes.. is higher than 10 right? i don't know if you'd call mine an 11th toe.. it's maybe more of an 10.5th toe. i round up to make things easier.

i discovered a patch of what i think is peanut butter on the bottle.. i'm affraid to taste it to find out.. because it might be.. i don't know.. like.. peanut butter poison or something.. but it does smell like peanut butter.. does cocaine have a smell to it? or do you actually need to snort it to realize that.. 'yeah.. that's some cocaine.'

i read somewhere that futurama is coming back with some new episodes and stuff. me being the engineering type i find that to be good news. what's bad news is that the simpsons are still going for some reason.. it's not funny anymore.. come on. ever since king of the hill and futurama stole all the funny people.. the simpsons are like.. the black mark madsen of cartoons that have been on fox.. a black mark madsen.. meaning.. they went to stanford.. which means they're probably really smart.. which means they probably aren't funny.

if it were up to me.. the world cup would be played 6 times a day. where teams would play both morning and nights. i mean.. since all people can compare this to is baseball.. i think they can do it right? doesn't that tell you something? baseball is pretty much the only major sport where.. the same team can play twice in one day. even golf you don't do that stuff.. that morning and night stuff.. how can we see tiger woods if we do that? all i'm saying is that.. baseball is borning. in my opinion. don't get pissed at me. but if you actually time the stuff that happens.. i'd say baseball is 75 percent watching people standing around.. scratching their balls or other areas which require scratching.. and the rest of it is the actual throwing and hitting of balls.. the other balls. the balls that are meant to be hit.

my head hurts.
Monday, June 26, 2006
crap. lots of crap. like an elephant took a shit.
Current mood: abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.
see. there's this thing about me and music. i don't know what the hell acutally qualifies as 'good music.' in fact many people's opinoin on what good music is.. can be quit different. for example. the little fucker in kindergarten will say that 'm-i-c.. k-e-y.. m-o-u-s-e.. mickey mouse.. mickey mouse..' you know that song.. they'll say that's probaby some damn good music.. or maybe they;ll leave out the 'damn.' but they'll probably substitute it with another word which has the same impact.. like.. crayons. that song was crayons good. and crayons are pretty fantastic. see. what i listen to is stuff my ears enjoy.. and maybe my brain. but i don't think my brain should be in charge of everything. like.. my lungs.. and heart. they don't do things because my brain tells them to. they do things because they want to. you have to believe in yourself.. never give up.. stuff like that to be one of my organs.. i would like my heart to continue beating for a good 11 days after i die. my lungs should also continue breathing. my liver and kidneys will be useless since i'm not eating or drinking anything. unless i'm mistaken about what the kidney does.. which i probably am. because i don't exactly know what it does.. it does.. help me.. live. and whatever my skin does.. i'd like it to continue doing so after i die too. if possible it would be nice if my ears could just keep doing what they do forever. like stick an ipod or whatever we have thousands of years from now (because i think somebody will discover the fountain of youth.. but aliens will attack us so that's why i'll die.) but stick one of those in my casket.. and update the music every now and then. and my dead body will be happy. and at that point.. i won't even care what you give me to listen to.. because when you're dead.. all you have to wait for is for god or whoever's in charge to call it quits. a god that quits isn't a good god.. i mean my organs got a better resume going for them.

but what i'll tend to listen to.. is stuff which my ears enjoy. which is a lot of stuff. a lot of bad stuff mostly for some people. and some hints of good stuff. but there is a lot of stuff. i like music. but the thing about music.. it's usually good. even if it's bad. and i'm not making sense. so forget it.. but let's just say everything deserves a listen.. even the black guys who do some quality beats and nice rhymes and other such things.

ok. why do people not like soccer? like.. i'm fine if you don't like it.. but when you start talking shit. that's when you got problems. a sports writer wrote something like.. 'why does soccer need an analyst for a game that ends 0-0.. what is there to analyze?' see. it's stuff like that. couldn't the same be said about anything? why the hell do people need analysts for any sport? just people telling me how i should think. but you know what i think? i think.. sports is full of insane people who get so into it.. that they think the stuff they say is brilliant. people who call into those sports radio shows after a game.. and saying what they would've done to win the game after the actual team had lost.. you're retarded. there's a reason why coaches get paid their millions. and we also forget how people make mistakes.. when's the last time you messed up? probably today. me for example thought today was memorial day wheni woke up this morning. don't ask why... and we all now kobe bryant raped somebody. or we don't know that. all i know is people take their sports too seriously. watch it. enjoy it. shit happens.. just be glad you didn't get your leg smashed in a car accident.. unless that car accident was with your favorite sports star. and you got to share a hospital room with them for a week.. and then you'd spend sunday watching the football game with them and telling them how you'd give the ball to them every single play.. and then you'd end up dead because said favorite sports star would get tired of your ass kissing and kill you.. and then they'd spend the rest of their life in jail.. and your favorite team gets shut down or somehting. moral of the story.. aesop never wrote about sports. so there's no lesson to be learned. so when you fuck up.. you're done.

yeah. i've had a bit to drink. but i don't think i'm drunk. i don't think i've ever been really drunk yet. maybe once.. but i don't know. like.. if i can still think.. that's probably not drunk right? if no, why? explain. i hate test questions like that.

remember the SATs. some distant long lost cousin of mine said he got a 1800 on the new one they got going.. which is like.. damn.. he kicked my ass. i got a 1280 i think. stupid math questions and me being stupid.. but an 1800 on the new one.. is like average. which would probably be a 900 or so on the old one. if i ever become a teacher i'm going to give a test where you get points for filling in your name and taking the test. that probably won't happen.. but if anybody ever becomes a teacher.. you need to just mess with their heads. make a test where every answer is.. C. how paranoid to people get when they get 3 C's in a row? they need to go back.. make sure they read things right.. double check their answers.. and even after all that.. they still end up changing one of their answers.. and then they'll even get angry after finding out they were right before. hey. you fucked up. don't ever change your answers.

there's a lot of global warming going on. my solution.. which is the worst solution.. but maybe better than doing nothing.. produce an artificial ozone layer made of lots and lots of drugs.. heroin. crack.. the stuff that addicts just have to get or they can't function.. but see.. when all the addicts fly up to harvest their drugs.. they block some of the sun light.. so then it won't get trapped inside our greenhouse gas thing. either that.. or we can explode the sun with the many many.. many many many many many many mnay many many nuclear weapons we have. just blow it up. what has the sun done for us? skin cancer. the only thing the sun does is help plants. we don't need plants. we're human. we don't photosynthesize. or.. photosynthesyze.. if you want to be hip.. or if that's the right spelling. but the only thing we rely on.. is killing each other. just killing the hell out of each other. that's all we need. so who needs a sun to help us out with skin cancer from.. b and c type rays from the sun.. i don't remember exactly what those were. but the a rays.. are completely blocked. some b's get though and give us cancer.. and i think c's get through but they're rare.. like a stupid chinese kid like me. or a black guy who isn't black.

i say such awful things. apologies and stuff. i also didn't edit this at all. like most of my writings.. so count up the mistakes. i'm guessing 27.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
tvtvttvtvtvtvtvtvtvtvtvtv.
Current mood: tv.
i stopped reading faust. mainly because i don't feel like thinking about what they're trying to get at with their extra fancy talk. also.. because what i think things actually mean.. usually doesn't mean.. what it's supposed to mean. like when people used to say 'bad' and they actually meant good. i never understood how that happened.. but people stopped saying that for some reason. i should bring it back. saying 'bad' is bad.. but it doesn't work as well because i'm not mexican.

in place of faust. i've picked up the homosexual-ness of oscar wilde's complete short fiction. so far.. after 2 stories.. two animals are dead. and statue of a prince that could talk was melted down.. that probably means it's dead too. and they aren't even like.. good deaths.. they're like. shit happened.

i started watching the office. the american one. some people will probably want to tell me that the uk version is a lot better.. and to them i say.. i don't know what the brittish people are saying.. and they're not running around benny hill style wearing dresses and stuff.. so i'm really not used to it.. i remember this brittish comedy thing that was dubbed in chinese on one of my flights to china.. best part was probably this guy.. with a remote control that filled up a glass of beer with a push of the button. of course hearing him talk in chinese was the best part. then some guy in a dress burned his nose with a candle he was holding. other movies included a chinese gangster movie where a guy chased somebody around with a giant axe.. then beat him up.

i felt awful yesterday for some reason. i'm going to blame the sun.

i think i watch too much tv.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
!@.$%^&*()+=\][{}?><,./';|
Current mood: jes.
somebody once told me that i should change my name. actually nobody's ever told me that.. but if i were to change my name.. i'd probably change it to.. bruce wayne or something. so i get a bunch of mail from nerds and stuff asking if they can visit the bat cave or something.. or if robin is homosexual.. and why alfred hasn't died after so many years.. it's funny. because they're so serious about things.

after hearing all sorts of the explosive firework activities going on the past few days.. mostly in the morning for some reason.. they finally got it right and all the exploding was done at night today. can you say terrorist activities? i mean.. that dog just won't stop barking. i'm pretty sure it's terrified..

nelson doesn't like the sun being an ass. so today was quite nice.. because the sun wasn't an ass. when the sun's an ass.. we get a bunch of shit. today. the sun was more like a candy factory. so we got lots of candy.. and unhappy workers.. who are sick of candy and working on holidays..
Friday, July 14, 2006
lemon eyes.
Current mood: lemon eyes.
the last time i actually bought books for my own myself.. was back in elementary school when we had those book fair things. and those don't even count as books.. because i always got something stupid like.. a book about an ass that wanted to play football but couldn't because it didn't have a helmet so it made its own.. and then it took the team to the championship game where the helmet would break.. and he'd play without it.. and end up with a concussion. moral of that story? don't play football without a helmet if you're an ass. but after orientation on monday i had lots and lots of time to kill.. so i thought it would be a good idea to buy a book. because all the books i've been buying since elementary school were school related.. so i picked up this 'please kill me' book. which just looked nice.. because i think that's the heartbreakers on the cover. and it was one of the top ten books of some newspaper some time ago. and the first thing i learned from it was lou reed got some shock treatment because he had homosexual thoughts or something.. or i might have read something wrong.

somebody else knew about necromance.. which was strange. nobody knows about necromance.. it happened to be the cashier.. who said that 'please kill me' was a pretty good book. and she had written a paper on it.

i left the house without my rings.. and it felt weird.. so i went back and put them on.

i got glass stuck in my foot and it hurts.

i'm starting to write down all my stupid thoughts and crap into one of those composition books that a teacher told me to buy.. but then we ended up not using it.. so i'm filling it with a bunch of junk.

reading is like having to listen to somebody that you can't say stuff to.. and you can't stop listening to them unless you blind yourself.
Currently reading :
Please Kill Me : The Uncensored Oral History of Punk
By Legs McNeil
Release date: 01 September, 1997

Saturday, July 29, 2006
mostly about the word that starts with an F and ends with a K. and isn't funk.
Current mood: fuck.
stuff just makes you want to say fuck. stupid hot weather and such. and the fact that i don't have a pair of those cartoon shoes that will give me that amount of time to comically race toward the edge of some place before falling to my death.. better get some cartoon floors or cartoon other stuffs before i try out the cartoon shoes. or maybe some of that faulty acme stuff the retarded coyote is always trying to use..

when exactly is it appropriate to say 'fuck?' because it's always like a bad time to say it. run into mcdonalds.. and try to explain yourself.. 'i'm soooo hungry.. that i have to say FUCK!' people will just stare at you.. and not give you any food.. even though you're hungry.. hungry enough to say fuck. and when the police arrive.. you can tell them.. 'i'm sorry.. sorry enough to say FUCK!' and if they get it.. they'll know how sorry you are.. because if you're going to say 'fuck' just like that to some cops.. you're probably pretty sorry. or hungry. or some other thing that causes you to say it.

the fact that i have to use this pen that likes to not work occasionally.. makes me consider buying some new pens.. but these are quality pens.. or when they're working they are. cartoon pens? they don't make cartoon pens. can you believe that? ever since mickey mouse used it as a gun in that 'through the looking glass' type thing he did.. where he shot up a deck of cards with the pen. and said, 'you mother fuckers better get off case.. or i'll get angry enough to say FUCK!' the whole zero tolerance thing has been on their ass about that. 'they' being.. old people.. they used to be young. they watch wheel of fortune with my aunt now.

it's not about asking yourself why you don't kill yourself.. it's about listening to this 'another girl, another planet' song. and after you listen to it.. you can ask yourself.. 'was that song awesome enough to say fuck?' probably not.. but it's still a pretty good song.
Currently listening :
Why Don't You Kill Yourself?: The CBS Recordings
By The Only Ones
Release date: 11 May, 2004

Friday, August 18, 2006
who i once was.
Current mood: alive.
things had a certain niceness about them today. it was just nice today. couple of songs sounded extra nice today too. motley crue's home sweet home and the decemberists' grace cathedral hill. you'll get it later.

i need to come up with a word that means both thank you and sorry.. because i put some people through some shit.. just. thanks and sorry. or sorry and thanks. or maybe a made up word that i can't think of.

i need to find out what they wrote on my hand. it says.. 'you..' then something.

i woke up in the hospital. bunch of crap all over me. and a tube in a place that isn't supposed to have a tube in it. oh. and the paramedics beat me up too.

what i did was put myself in a bottle. then i tried drinking my way out. i went down to the bottom.. and sat down in that little area where the last drops of liquid have their meetings and stuff like that. didn't quite finish the bottle.. but i did manage to drink my way out. that's when i wake up naked and shivering.. because i was naked. and it was cold.. so i try putting pants on over my arms because they think this guy knows what he's doing. no. i was going to say that it was a pretty messed up jacket that they were giving me. but hey. how serious was this? did i almost die? sometimes you need to know. but i can't remember a thing. and i didn't ask. pieces are easy to pick up when there's a lot of them.

i don't know. maybe i needed this.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
hurt me.
if i were a rockstar.. i'd write a fantastic song about this. but i'm not.. i can try.. but it'll just end up being lots of noise rather than actual music. this is probably as close as i'm going to get to being one though. there's a guy by the name of billy murcia.. the original drummer for the new york dolls. he passed out from drugs and alcohol and got tossed in a tub of cold water.. then some people started pouring hot coffee down his throat. he died after that. luckily people just aren't that clever with their ideas these days. one step from death? no. nobody's going to let me die like that. hopefully. how did johnny thunders do this?

they wanted to see if i would respond to pain.. well things hurt now. my chest hurts a bit when i take deep breaths. i have a couple bruises and bumps and such. and urinating is still not as enjoyable as it used to be.. it's better than yesterday though.

i don't think i'd be able to kill somebody and get away with it.. because i don't think i could live with the guilt. either that or i'd be the stupid retard i am and just get caught.. rambo was never caught.. but i'm not rambo. also i never really watched those movies. so i don't really know what happens.. i can assume that rambo will take over a country with a machine gun.. a thing of bullets across his body. and a bandana.. and maybe an american flag depending on how serious things are.

my parents are being way too nice.. and it's driving me nuts.
Monday, August 21, 2006
borstal breakout.
Current mood: sham.
um. i have a rather large yellowish bruise around the opposite end of my elbow. i don't know what that part's called. like.. the elbow-pit or something. or is that whole general area the 'elbow?' either way.. it's yellow with hints of purple and blue.. but it doesn't hurt.. it just looks like it shouldn't be like that.

i enjoy the sound of fireworks. just pow. pop. pop. pop. pop. pow. one of the louder pow's scared the hell out of some crickets.. or they enjoyed it. because they started chirping a whole lot after that.

what i need to do is.. even out my stupid. like.. not do one really stupid thing.. but lots of smaller stupid things. my most recent stupid.. was pretty stupid. if i had to file this.. the file would be really big.. and heavy. and then i'd have to lift it up to the top drawer.. so i can stick it under 'very extremely stupid.' then have a mountain dew after that.. for the extremity of the stupid. i'm done with it. i won't forget it. but i'm done.

borstal breakout. see you on the streets.
Currently listening :
Rock 'N Roll
By The New York Dolls
Release date: 18 October, 1994

Thursday, August 24, 2006
needles and thread.
Current mood: not me.
here.. um. i spent about an hour looking for chalk around my house today. and i ended up not finding any.. not that it would've helped. since no cutting was done. just straight sewing. my problem is.. i'm not homosexual.. if the stereotypical homosexual is good at sewing.. and it's been a while since 7th grade when i had to sew that bag for that one class. stupid machine and it's tendencies to make me sew these really messed up lines of thread or something. and the whole deal about the stupid pedal and not having a slower speed.. or even a medium. it's a lot like the hare from the aesop's fable thing. stupid thing only goes fast.. or sleeps. at least with the pedals on your car you can step on it and tell it to go.. or go go. or go go gogogogogo. i have no idea how the little chinese kids do it in their nike sweatshops.

this could all be avoided if clothes actually fit me. but the average person wants to be wider than me. 'why be average?' asks the beck's beer commercial. because it's easier.. and a whole lot less painful than taking a knife and chopping your sides off to be more average like the way i'm average. and the much larger not so average.. but still slightly average person will tell you it's a whole lot better than carrying two garbage bags full of ground beef at your sides.. it's not really like that. at least i hope it isn't.

my neighbor is watching baseball.. and he keeps yelling stuff.. something about 'come on big man.. hit it in the hole.' he likes to yell, 'jesus christ!' and 'fuck!' i always like to check up on things when he yells. last time.. somebody hit the ball into a double-play. i haven't heard him woo! yet. and he's not clapping.. so that probably means the angels are losing. yesterday it was the dodgers. i think he likes sports.. a lot.

i'm great at threading needles. but the rest of the stuff.. i don't know.
Currently listening :
NicolÃ² Paganini: 24 Capricci For Solo Violin Op. 1
By Salvatore Accardo
Release date: 18 January, 1991

Saturday, August 26, 2006
nelson vs. the spiders.
Current mood: 2 legged.
i don't like spiders. i just don't. there are better things to like in this world.. like.. flowers. when's the last time you thought a flower was going to bite you and poison you or something.. maybe a few years ago when you had a very strange nightmare.. like one about a poisonous biting flower.. but with spiders.. you see one crawling your way you think it's going to bite you or take a shit in some open wound you have to infect it. sneaky little fuckers. and the bigger ones are just big sneaky fuckers. they leave their webs around these places you like to walk. so you walk right into them.. and when you try to get the crap out of your face or off your arms you don't know what the hell you're reaching for because you can't see it.. only feel it.

i encounter lots of spiders when i'm cleaning stuff. like.. when i was vacuuming my room.. and this spot next to my window had a bunch of dead spiders for some reason.. like some spider graveyard thing. so i just sucked them up.. but then the vacuum wants to be cute.. and something crawled up my leg... it was the wire. quite the startling ordeal however. and just this morning and black widow crawls out in my backyard.. and i had this broom. so i took a swing at it. and ended up smashing its ass.. and all this black stuff oozed out.. and it was not quite flailing about.. but it was doing it's thing. it was awful. spiders are awful.

i wouldn't call this a fear.. they're just fuckers. when i was in 1st or 2nd grade.. my brother and i got this dead black widow.. and i brought it in for some bug project we were doing. i stuck it in one of those little bubble things you get in those 25 cent dispenser things that i like to spend lots of quarters on just to get a superball.. just so i can do something stupid and lose it after 5 minutes. but i pinned it down onto some styrofoam and everything.. and the teacher wouldn't let me open it up.. but she would let the other kids show off their ants and rollypolies.. and beat up butterflies kids found at their grandma's house.. teacher just didn't know good work.. which is why i did so well back then.

spiderman's ok though.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
nelson and the music review.
Current mood: soup.
are there unicorns in the bible? from a fine gentleman's review of a band called the unicorns..

"If you believe the Holy Bible is the word of God, then you are obliged to believe in unicorns. Numbers 23:22 in the Bible reads: "God brought them out of Egypt, he hath as it were the strength of a unicorn." God is compared to a unicorn. God must be very strong indeed and this proves that unicorns existed! I don't think the Bible would lie or misinform human-kind! The Bible also claims that satyrs and cockatrices existed as well, so it has to be true! There are so many things in the Bible that people want to just sweep under the rug and ignore, but they should never ignore the word of God! God also commanded, "Thou shall not suffer a witch to live" (Exodus 22:18) and informs us that it's OK to kill our slaves because, after all, they are only our money (Exodus 21). Yet people want to pretend that witches don't exist and that God never condoned slavery - shame on these fools who want to "pick and choose" which passages from God's word they will follow!"

um.. is that stuff really in there? and is this guy serious? i'd check.. but i have no idea how to work a bible and i'm affraid to even talk to this guy. but i'm pretty sure you can see all the holes in his arguments. like the part how unicorns are powerful. people need to relax.

also, that's not how a music review should be written. i'd write something like.. when you touch the cd you get goosebumps. not like when you were little and you read those horrible goosebumps books and didn't get goosebumps. you might not actually get goosebumps.. i don't know. i was cold at the time. but then after you're done touching the cd in places that aren't supposed to be touched you'll listen to it and enjoy it. unless you touched it in a fashion so wrong.. that you have to take it out and clean it so it doesn't skip.

and breaking news. as i turned on the tv.. because i was tired of stuff loading on my computer.. the crocodile hunter is dead. some sort of stingray thing to the heart. very not enjoyable news. very not enjoyable at all.

bye bye.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
nelson and the possum. with terror.
Current mood: clockwork.
i for one.. would not like a bunch of cobras in my backyard. you know.. they're corbas. if you've watched g.i. joe when you were little.. you know they can really cause trouble. and for not quite the same reasons i wouldn't like a possum in my backyard. but that's what i got. it was laying inside of this cinder block that held up some orchids and stuff.. and we're cleaning it out because we're getting the house painted. when my dad took off the top. i saw this furry face peak out at me. and i was like.. what the hell. that's not right. so i looked again. and it was a possum.. and not my imagination. i wasn't thinking possum at the time though. i was thinking mongoose for some reason. rikki tikki tavi would be very happy. hey. if it was rikki tikki tavi then i wouldn't need to worry about cobras in my backyard.. but it wasn't a mongoose.. so i thought.. ferret. but before i tucked my pants into my socks.. i realized i was stupid and it was a possum. certain things were done.. that my dad and i aren't very proud of.. but the possum's gone. he told me his idea and added.. 'that's how we did it in vietnam.' so i went with it. can't go wrong with how things are done in vietnam. all we needed were those asian gangster fobs to come in and say. 'how we gonna do dis? vietnamese style, foo!!' no, we didn't eat it.

the number one fear in america is arachnophobia. and the last time i checked. terror and fear were pretty much the same thing. and webster even says that terror is 'a state of intense fear.' so i don't know.. just think super giant spiders on your ass. that's the worst possible situation. becuase you know they're there.. but you don't know what they're doing.. or going to do. that's terror. and of course there are some people who will say that spiders are nothing to be afraid of.. but they'll still be afraid of something.. or if they aren't girls like the rest of us. they'll tell you, 'i ain't fear nothin''. and must be some sort of super man.. but not superman. because he's a girl.. like the rest of us. but yeah. either you fear something or nothing. and usually that something.. isn't terrorists. ask anybody what they fear most.. and they won't say terrorists.

yes. a war on terror is very important. show people who's boss and such. tony danza made a terrible old person's show about that. war on terror my ass. go kill some spiders. then.. maybe i'll go back in time and vote for you..
Saturday, September 09, 2006
nelson and sports.
Current mood: dog poop.
i watched some college football. and there was this guy who decided to lift up his shirt as the camera passed by. then he started to point at something. and i don't know if he was pointing at his heart.. like saying, 'this team has a lot of heart.' or if he was pointing at his nipple.. saying. 'this is my nipple.' and then there was another guy who looked like he was vomitted on by some red paint monster.. because his paint job looked awful.. i'm thinking he ran out of paint.. or he rolled around on the floor before the paint could dry.

certain people have the strange thought.. that because kobe bryant wasn't playing on the US national team. and the US national team lost. that means kobe bryant is the best player in the world and had he played they would've won. it's sort of like the way i keep dragons and stuff from not showing up and destroying the world. i'm here.. and there's no dragons around.. so i must be saving the world from dragons. and the world still won't make me king.. what the hell.

superbowl prediction:

redskins - 42
colts - 17

there was an elaborate break out at a kennel. and a bunch of those dogs took a shit in the colts end zone. so the colts didn't want to score. because nobody wants to step in dog poop. or any poop. try bear poop. you'll lose a shoe in that stuff.

i like sports.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
nelson vs. his ears. my ears.
i'm almost certain that the weatherman on tv just said.. "a'ight!" but what do i know.. i thought a movie commercial told me. 'you ain't shit.' i should stop or pause the music when i'm seeing if anything's on tv.. or just not turn on the tv at all.. because nothing good is ever on.

and this 'fearless' thing that jet li's doing. i'd say it's good for a watch. if you enjoy jet li jumping about with ropes around him. but it just fucks with you. a lot. so i don't know. it's like two thumbs up.. but both thumbs have been chopped off the hand. or like.. two left handed thumbs up and a thumb down on a hand with six fingers. just something really screwed up. because that's just how i feel about the movie. it's just a bunch of stuff that happens.. which isn't a bad thing.. because i think i wasn't paying attention to what was going on in the movie. i was listening to the mandarin.. it's not like the oranges.
Friday, September 15, 2006
nelson and porch pizza.
Current mood: warm.
somebody rang the doorbell and then ran off. but they left a pizza box with a half eaten pizza in it. i don't get it. but it's suspicious as hell.. hell being quite the suspicious place. how does this not arouse suspicion? it's like seeing a guy with a pair of funny glasses on and a trench coat. half eaten pizza? what's going on? if it's a gift.. i would like a better gift. if it's laced with arsenic or something. then.. send a whole pizza and maybe i'll eat it. probably not. porch pizza probably isn't good for you anyway.

it was a pizza hut pizza.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
nelson and school.
i have to start stupid school again tomorrow. after most people have already started their stupid school months or weeks ago. and other people start their stupid school friday. it's stupid. if you like school. don't pay any attention to this being stupid.

if i had listened to those counselors at uci. i'd still be there as a sociology major.. but that's not something i'd like to do. something i did like to do was write. i'd write in such a terrible fashion that my teachers somehow felt sorry for me and gave me some pretty decent grades in my writing classes. then i continued to write that way in my history class. got stuck with an F on my first essay. then went and talked to the TA and found out that i had to be a bit more professional with my writing.. so i cleaned up my act and got an A on my second essay. but who wants to be told how to do things right? so i passed on being a sociology major. and never really thought that i could be a writer.. since i can't stand the way they want me to write. so i left and ended up in a better place. the non-death type better place. cal poly pomona. besides, i can write when i'm an engineer. and people won't give me shit for the way i write because i'll be working with a bunch of fobs and stuff. they'll think i'm brilliant with my writing.

they call it cpp. which i think is funny.
Thursday, September 21, 2006
nelson and school. with school.
this is really entertaining for me because my teacher sometimes sounds like george takei. it makes me want to laugh. but i can't because this dynamics stuff is no laughing matter. i just smiled. a lot. during class. what's going to be a problem is the kids who are really trying to impress the teacher so they'll be able to add. i don't think it works like that.. does it?

and in my earlier class i thought the teacher looked like a korean bill gates. which isn't quite as entertaining as the other teacher.. but if i ever wanted to stare at him. that's what i'd be looking at. he has the problem of really trailing off with his sentences.. which was really great with the simpsons.. but not as great with this teacher. you know.. 'um.. excuse me you didn't answer my question. you just trailed off.'

interesting side note. i got onto the 57 north thinking it was the 57 south. then sort of thought i was going in the wrong direction.. since i was passing stuff that i didn't pass on the way there. then i wondered why the the shadows of the mountians and stuff weren't showing up on my left.. which would've meant i was going in the right direction. then i saw a sign that said 57 north. i should pay attention and stuff. or i can just stare at my speedometer which decided to turn itself off yet again..

engineering paper is great. why didn't they ever tell us to use engineering paper at uci? it's blank on one side.. and you got a graph on the other. so when you draw stuff it looks really nice since you line it up with the graph.. but when you hold the paper up. there are no lines to be found. i can be a magician. where'd the lines go? and i'll pull them all out from behind the person's ear.. then i'll beat them up for stealing my lines. which is also what happens in hollywood.

i have a couple of easy homework problems. which i think is going to be just damn fun. if i approach things this way.. i will be more upset after i find out homework wasn't as fun as it sounded.. but at least it'll get me to do it.
Monday, September 25, 2006
nelson and his own glasses.
"billy joe was great when he wrote songs about jerkin off and gettin high. now he's a preachy little bitch who wears eye liner. eye liner!"

people are funny. is eye liner is that pencil thing? because if it is drawing in your own glasses should be really easy. so when the day comes and glasses are obsolete.. you can bring them back by drawing a pair of glasses on your face. and nobody likes preachy little bitches right? well. if you have a problem. you can always drop the 'r' and change things completely.. peachy little bitch.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
nelson and a dying battery.
the battery on my ipod decided to feel like dying.. it didn't really die. but it sure felt like it. so i had to not listen to it so i'd have something to listen to while driving home. i'd say something about hearing the wind while driving home.. but it'll just end up as some 'break wind' type junk. so the dying battery led to me walking around to the sounds of the birds and the clickety clack of the buckles on somebody's backpack. and when i got to the middle of the field i felt like laying down and staring at the sky.. i didn't. which was good because the sky was just really really blue and nothing else. you really need some airplanes doing flips or something if you really want to look at the sky during the day. but it was just lots of blue.. and the sun if you want to stare at that. i saw 1 fat girl who i thought was a guy. and 1 fat guy who i thought was a girl. so things even out like that. later i saw two large rocks and thought they were sheep. sheep can be very rockish at times. but not quite as rockish as maybe a turtle.

i drove home to music.

oh. i also saw a person who's forhead looked very strange and metal. then as i passed by him i realized he had one of those naruto ninja headband things. it was quite shocking. but i didn't laugh because i don't know what kick-ass-no-jutsu's he knows.
Currently listening :
The Crane Wife
By The Decemberists
Release date: 03 October, 2006

Wednesday, September 27, 2006
nelson and his books.
i've been wondering where my books were. and it appears that my books are in the bookstore. the meaning of 'shipped' in bookstore talk. means come get your shit because we're not sending it to you but we'll label things as shipped because shipped in our language means other things.. for example. shipped can mean you've been deported. or.. a very large ship just crashed through your house and ruined a very expensive chandelier and you just burned the roast that was in the oven and you have a bee in your bonnet and you stepped on said bee and it stung your foot. like. 'you got shipped.'

when a professor says. 'i was eating crows the rest of the summer.' you just might find yourself using such an idiom when the occasion arises. to 'eat crows' means to admit one's mistakes. so. it could be a while before i actually use this one.. or within the next hour if i don't lie about it.
Friday, September 29, 2006
nelson and the baculum.
what's a baculum? if you asked me yesterday.. i would've said some sort of sea creature. it sounds very sea creature -ish or -esque. 'a school of baculum just attacked the spanish armada..' something like that. you know how things work. that's just how it would be if a baculum was some sort of fish. but no. these naming people don't want to call any fish the baculum. they want to use stupid names like.. dog fish. cow fish. tiger fish. fish fish. and yet on land we don't see and fish dogs. or catfish dogs.. those dogs have very long whiskers and fat lips.. if i somehow end up with a dog. i'm calling it catfish. just to confuse it.. or make it happy if it likes that name. but this baculum.. it is neither land nor sea beast.. i'm sure the mink would be glad to tell you about the baculum.. its baculum. but we keep killing the minks so we can wear their ass furs.

i was looking through some osteology stuff and i saw this one bone. and the name just didn't sound right. penis bone? yes. penis bone. this is the stuff i'm missing out on. unless bio type majors haven't learned about this either. then we're all missing out on this stuff.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
nelson and stuff.
since the weather is now colder. people won't have to go to the supermarket and roll around in the packaged meats to cool off.

if i smoked i'd have a lighter. but i don't. and i'm not an arsonist. so i have no lighter. nor do i feel like grabbing a candle and some matches and doing things like thomas jefferson.. meaning the candle thing and not the sex with your slaves thing. i also don't own slaves. and trying to melt something in place isn't what stoves were made for.

i can't tell the difference between coke and pepsi. because i've never had both a coke and pepsi to drink at the same time. and i for one don't remember exactly how a drink tastes a week later.. pepsi tastes like coke. because coke was here first. and coke taste like cola. who cares about the other details.

plastic rulers shouldn't have the bumpy edges as the one i have does. if we can create plastic with nearly the same refractive properties as a diamond i think we can make a plastic ruler that doesn't let other objects dig holes into it. also i shouldn't consider purchasing plastic rulers at office depot or the homeless people will flash large amounts of money in my face before asking for money for food. and all i noticed was how clean and blonde his hair was when the rest of him was dirty and skin toned. it was very blonde hair.

we excluding i would like to invite you to attend some fancy gala type event with stringed intruments and wine that you spit.

it makes me laugh.
Monday, October 02, 2006
nelson and the hospital bill.
'i'm going to get a tatoo right across my chest. in big bold letters. B-I-L-L. bill!'

it's something any smart person would get on their chest in a heartbeat. if that person's heart is functioning properly.. or if they're homosexual and in love with a man named bill. or perhaps they don't need to be homosexual. and there's a woman named bill. or if some person's name is bill. and they want to let everybody know that that's their name. i however am not very smart. so i won't be getting 'BILL' tatooed to my chest. but if i wanted to it would cost me $25.. or $6700 without deals or coupons or something.

hospitals should give you coupons when you're born. like. 'buy one get one free' type stuff. or some other money saving device. i'm bringing this up because my money saving device is just a paper bag with a dollar sign on it. and a string taped to the bottom. the string can be attached to my hand or a fire hydrant.

why do i have strange thoughts. strange to you. but somewhat normal to me. as i was getting some rice for dinner.. i started thinking about how rice would be my favorite food. since i've had it almost everyday of my life. but then i thought.. you just can't have rice. you have to have something to go with it. then my mind went into this scene with a black person asking me what my favorite food was..i responded with. 'rice.' then he went on telling me that i couldn't just eat rice.. and that i had to have something to go with it. so then i responed.. 'chicken?' and that's when he said. in quite the excited and happy tone. 'now you're talking my language.' and all i have to say to that is.. what the hell is wrong with me.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
nelson and 'bring your zombie to school' day
school needs to be a bit more clear with the 'bring your zombie to school' day. i brought mine today.. and all it did was let out a groan whenever the teacher finished a sentence during lecture. the teacher stared at me for a really long time.. so i tried to look busy.. but didn't do a very good job of that. and it constantly went around looking for the smart people and asking for their brains because it was hungry. so.. 'bring your zombie to school' day. not quite as fun as it sounded. and not a very good idea when the zombie is you because you feel tired and stuff. still a good day though. the sky is bluest at the center.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
nelson and the dayglo vest.
dayglo vests are very fashionable these days. i for one could have been written up on safety violations had i not been wearing such a sexy garment. i call it sexy because it causes people stare at you. it also makes you warm and it has too many holes for pencils and stuff. who's going to carry around that many pencils? perhaps the holes were for bullets. and this was actually some dayglo war vest that people wear to draw attention to themselves as they rush into the war zone rambo style. which i enjoy doing in video games. you just be loud as fuck with warning shots galore and people will be scared of you until they sneak up behind you and kill you. but dayglo yellow isn't my color. i should go with the dayglo orange instead.

where's the bag that our leveling rod was in? i don't know.. because the teacher stole it and stuck it in the room to teach us a lesson. that lesson being keep an eye on the teacher so he doesn't steal your shit. and have the other eye on your shit so other people don't start grabbing your stuff. but we asked a very well dressed black man if he had seen a bag. and that was very enjoyable.

being fat is when your body parts begin to vanish. either because you can't see them. or they just vanish like the body part fairy just took them from you. for example that guy at katella that had no ankles.. or somebody i saw today who had no elbows. rather shocking.

i was driving home. and while i was on the freeway something flew in my window. hit my hand which my head was resting on and then fell down into that gooch-al area where things tend to gravitate towards when you're sitting. it was a penny. lucky? or was somebody throwing stuff at me.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
nelson and punk.
my shoulders hurt. if i were a bird i wouldn't be able to fly because it hurts to move my arms past my back. but i'm not a bird. and i don't do drugs so i wouldn't think i was a bird. and i just realized i have dos quizes on thursday. dos is 2.. i just don't know how to spell it. nor can i do that thing with my r's. you know. the rRrRrRrRr. thing.

i found this to be amusing. it's very clearly written. which is something i can't do very well. like. i paint pictures with my words and stuff. but it's always the same picture. which might be the reason why people do drugs. so new pictures can be made. i'm all for new pictures. but i think pictures i'd do on drugs would be just way way way too extreme. you'll just look at them.. and you'll have to get some mountain dew in you because seeing that stuff was just that extreme. but this is what makes the most sense..

'overnight, punk had become as stupid as everything else. this wonderful vital force that was articulated by the music was really about corrupting every form - it was about advocating kids to not wait to be told what to do, but make life up for themselves, it was about trying to get people to use their imaginations again, it was about not being perfect, it was about saying it was okay to be amateurish and funny, that real creativity came out of making a mess, it was about working with what you got in front of you and turning everything embarrassing, awful, and stupid in your life to your advantage.' -legs mcneil

i also managed to somehow sleep with my eyes open in class. i'm like a fish.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
nelson and floor books.
i always thought i kept my books very happy. they enjoy the floor. see. you stick them on a shelf.. and come earthquake time. they're pissed so they jump off not caring about their life anymore and hit you in the head before they fall to their death. or when you try reading them.. they close on you and bite you.. it doesn't hurt. but the hate is there. keep them on the shelf long enough and one day they'll kick you in the balls and run away. but if you let them lay on the floor.. they'll be happy. and they'll let you join their band. but then they'll yell at you because you don't know what the hell you're doing.. because they want you to play some ass chord. when you don't even know the butt ones. which will then force the books to kick you in the balls and run away. then they'll send you a letter informing you that you've been kicked in the balls and also kicked out of the band. last time i join a band formed by books..

robbing a bank with a banana is probably the best way to go.. if you get caught.. you just have to tell them you were having lunch. get one of those old brown ones to make it slightly more gun-like.. but still very banana-like. also toss in the word 'appealing' if you want to look stupid. like.. 'you might find it appealing to give me all the money in the bank.' terrible.
Sunday, October 15, 2006
nelson and the lazy eye(s).
talking to somebody with a lazy eye is very confusing. i had to delay my answer because i had no idea that person was talking to me.. it's somewhat my fault. because i didn't know the guy behind me had walked off. but those eyes were set on the area behind me. so i assumed.. this is why i don't like to assume. it always gets me in trouble. "..and that's when the doctor said both my eyes were lazy and that's why it was the best summer ever."

see. i'm always stupid. those times that i look smart is just everybody else being stupider than me.. but bird seeds don't grow birds. so we can all be a little upset.

during the few brief moments of rain that we had.. i basically turned my car windows into some blurry mess that forced me into purchasing some new wiper blades. 21" for the drivers side. 18" for the side where i put my books and garbage.

as i was paying for my generic wiper blades.. i was having trouble figuring out how the machine enjoys its cards. there was a very terrible picture of a card with an arrow. i also had to deal with some lady yellling at her baby because it was crying. she'll have to deal with some really smelly shit from the baby. so she'll get what she deserves.

where's the rain?
Monday, October 16, 2006
nelson and a flat tire.
maybe i wouldn't call it flat.. flat tires look flat.. this tire.. looked like somebody stuck it in their mouth.. chewed on it for a while. then didn't like the taste of dirt and rubber and spit it back out.. i don't know what i ran over. but it caused one of my back tires to rip open at the sides. the front tire is fine which i still don't understand.. but the back tire had some very large holes in it. like holes that i could put my hands in. do tires explode like that? because that would explain why the front tire is fine. i don't know. but it wasn't cool. and changing a tire on the freeway isn't enjoyable. it's very loud and windy with all the cars. it might be somewhat more enjoyable if i had a kite.. but still. i'd just end up losing the kite and start crying. it wasn't a fun way to start the day.

i'm going to say somebody got me with some ben hur wheel spikes.. and i should probably watch ben hur to make sure there were wheel spikes in that movie. also because it's supposed to be a good movie. but mostly for the wheel spike verification. and now i need some wheel spikes so nobody will ever try to mess with my astronaut car. astronauts drive my car.

my dad says my trunk smells like a dead cat.. it should really smell like 3/4 of a bottle of soy sauce.. that wasn't really thoroughly cleaned. but i try not to smell it.. it smells like dead cats now.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
nelson and the missing jacket.
things in my house get lost. i'm not going to rule out the possibility that ninjas sneak into the house at night.. and move things around and take things. but i'm going to blame the whole boxing business that's always going on. put that in a box. you can find the box later. but after about 10 boxes.. and not finding what you were looking for.. you give up. only to feel like you didn't look carefully enough.. and you dig throught those same 10 boxes. that's when you know something's probably lost. or you should check that 11th box. but if it's not in that 11th box.. you get really angry and cause a ruckus. with all sorts of box throwing.. biting and tearing apart objects like you were some dinosaur. and lots of profanities.

so i can't find this track jacket. it was a quality jacket. you could zipper it up over your mouth. which is a much needed feature in today's jackets. all this neck warming just doesn't cut it anymore. i don't know where it is.. but i'm going to find it. and this isn't school or some other place so you can't go to the lost and found or blame the other minorities for stealing it and the white people for not preventing them from stealing it.

i was rather edgy on the freeway area where the hole in my tire appeared. but i saw no chariots next to me.. so it wasn't that bad.
Saturday, October 21, 2006
nelson and the spiders. part 17.
always with the damn spiders. they see this light on my desk or hear the garbage coming out of my speakers.. and they start thinking i'm inviting them over to crawl on my desk while i'm doing this dynamics homework. well. this one dove into a pile of papers i have on my desk before i could catch it.. and when i went through the pile.. it wasn't there. so either i'm crazy. or that spider is very crafty. i'm going with the crafty thing. anything with eight legs is crafty.. because they can touch you with two legs.. and you'll be like. 'oh. somebody is touching me with their legs. but they have no more legs to touch me with' then six more legs will start touching you.. and you'll say.. where'd all these people come from? that's when you'll turn around and see that a spider's been sexually harrassing you. so you sue the motherfucker.. but our legal system won't let you sue somebody for being a mother fucker. so you're sad.

the other students were shocked to hear my surveying professor say.. 'a lot of poor people live there.' he was talking about south central.. i had no idea why they were acting the way they were. with the.. 'did he just say that!?' all he did was describe the area. it's sort of like me saying that china is full of these shit covered toilets that don't flush.. so the whole country smells. and that's just what i saw.. and smelled when i was there. maybe i missed something..

i spent half of today thinking it was sunday. i spent the other half thinking how great it was that today wasn't sunday.

i find too many things to be funny.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
nelson and midterms.
during the coming days i will devise a plan.. and maybe create some sort of death ray. to kill my midterms.

i should also consider purchasing a gun. so i could force myself to dance about while dodging bullets that i shoot at my own feet. because i'll be happy. unless i shoot myself in the foot. which probably would happen if i tried this.

i'll need to remember to bring an awesome eraser to erase awesome mistakes that i won't be making because my plan is the best plan ever. you could use it in iraq.. and the ak47's would be used to make people dance. rather than how they're used now.. mostly for shooting bullets up into the air to celebrate some stuff. only to have them rain down on you later. see. with my plan.. you go straight to the part where bullets rain down on you. and it's only raining on your feet.
Monday, October 30, 2006
nelson and the awfuls.
it's the awfuls. not just awful. it's the awfuls. you know exactly what the awfuls are.. you just didn't know they were called the awfuls. that's not a band name.. but after checking.. it actually is. it's a bunch of 12 year old kids from the netherlands.. or that's what they look like. something must be in their water. or they eat lots of turtles. turtles can't die of old age apparently. they're like immortality pills that you'd feel very uncomfortable eating. but not these kids. sick mother fuckers..

i didn't quite kill one midterm. and i have two more this week. but those ones are already dead. so i don't need to worry too much. but this one that i didn't kill.. i don't get it. i thought i killed it. but it's starting to look like just chopping off a midterm's left leg.. and letting it bleed to death doesn't work. and it's not just missing that leg now. it's also very pissed. so i don't know. i'm most affraid of it leaning up against something.. and swinging it's one leg at me in an attempt to get a good swift kick to the groinal area. this really isn't cool. it would probably be a solid B or even an A- with a curve.. but this korean teacher doesn't do things like that.. he's korean.

this is absurd. and that pretty much sums it up.

how'd my other midterm go? it's dead. won't come back to bite me in the ass or kick me in the balls like the last one. my english teacher said 'aced it... well done.' he's english. i want to ask him about tea time.. but.. i don't think i will.

this is not absurd. but pretty fantastic. and that sums this up.
Currently listening :
The Slider
By T. Rex
Release date: 08 November, 2005

Wednesday, November 01, 2006
nelson and and and and and and..
so. that midterm that wasn't killed. actually came back to me.. and asked to be killed. but i still didn't quite kill it. but with the extra credit and grading errors.. this one won't come back to bite me in the ass. or kick me in the balls. i took care of it. no more legs for that midterm. ha!

in the news. a fat lady didn't know she was pregnant. and a couple days later a baby was born. the baby was not eaten.

sometimes i feel tired. so i take a nap with my eyes open. and after about 15 minutes of that. i wake up. and i'm very refreshed.. and then i fall asleep.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
nelson and myself.
i'm mad at myself. so i will not be talking to myself for some time. but a good 20 pecent is the question's fault. why stick a 2d picture in there when 3d features needed to be taken into account. but it could've been avoided. had i read the part about a 'horizontal plane.' all i saw was this vertical stuff. so my equations.. had extra stuff in there. some people like the extra stuff.. but this teacher isn't like that. also i left out a couple things.. so maybe i took out what he liked and replaced it with something he didn't.. like giving him midol when he asked for flomax.. you've seen the commercials.. he has a weak stream and he goes a lot.

basketball is being played today.
cal poly pomona vs. ucla.
quality div. 93 vs. div. 1 action.

i didn't know we had a basketball team. i thought this school was for nerds. and farmers. and hotel managers..
Monday, November 06, 2006
nelson and all i have to say.
son of a bitch..

that's all i have to say right now.
Currently reading :
Mechanics of Materials
By Ferdinand P. Beer
Release date: 20 January, 2005

Tuesday, November 07, 2006
nelson and one shoe.
i'm wearing one shoe right now. i should work on getting the other on. or taking the other other one off. one shoe pretty much says it all though. so. that's how it's going to be.

i should probably go vote.. but it's all the way across the street. quite a long walk with one shoe. and the concrete is probably all hot and stuff.. because this weather is having its time of the month mood swings.. so.. i'll be using this time to do ass work.. that's homework. if you live in an ass. which we all sort of do since we elect these people to run the country. so it's like we live in their ass like that. like.. we elected bush.. because we thought he was constipated and we wouldn't get any shit.. but we're constantly getting this regular shit because he isn't.. and this just isn't what we wanted.. 'we' as in normal people. but there are some people who like getting pooped on which i don't understand. poop belongs in the toilet. or anywhere not on people if you really need to go. or if you're a cow.. your poop belongs all over plants. they love that stuff.. which i do understand. tell your neighbors.

doesn't make sense? take off a shoe. then you'll get it.
Currently listening :
Eisenhower
By The Slip
Release date: 07 November, 2006

Wednesday, November 08, 2006
nelson and the unclosed traverse.
the traverse won't close. so i yelled profanities at it.. and it still won't close.

when i asked about crab juice.. people thought i was serious.
Friday, November 10, 2006
nelson and ¼ syndrome.
'you're going to want to skip ahead to see how to say 'shit sandwich' in another language.'

i woke up around 6 in the morning. and all i could think of was this unclosed traverse. bothered the hell out of me all last week. 10 minutes later.. problem solved.. until the teacher says it's wrong. then i can go back to pulling out my hair.

my brain is like a bear trap. it'll latch on to all this stuff.. but it'll never catch what it's supposed to. how often do you see a bear trap with a bear in it? never. because i've never seen a bear trap. and because today's bears. are extremely smart. they know how to put on clothing. yogi bear.. with his green hat and tie gets my vote for best dressed.. because i can't think of any other bears.. winnie the pooh.. isn't a bear.. he's a pooh. what the fuck is that? but yeah. bear traps always catch things like people. because we're stupid.. or a well placed one will clamp right down on somebody's ass. as cartoons we've all seen in the cartoons.

politics would be a lot better if less people were involved. if we get more people to vote.. then the dorks are just going to spend more and more money to buy our votes.. and they don't do it with money.. the way i'd like them to. they pour all those millions into giving me a bunch of gifts i don't want. thoughtless gifts that i don't want. if there's some thought then it's all right.. but come on.. a recorded message from arnold and this mayor pringle.. who doesn't provide anaheim with free chips.. isn't money well spent. all these tv ads that i see.. the only one i remember was proposition h.. but only because it sort of sounds like preperation h. this is garbage.. just give me a couple dollars.. i'll go vote for your stuff. and you can call me a politician.

grayer days. colder weather. fuckers better not sneeze in my face while i sleep.. i don't want to get sick.
Monday, November 13, 2006
nelson and f-e-e-l all right.
sometimes you feel like shit. smelly. brown... and some other adjective used to describe shit.. you feel them all. there's nothing wrong with feeling like shit. just don't feel like shit all the time. because over time.. shit turns hard. and very gross. much grosser than before. because it's like a mummy took a shit. so you'll have all sorts of archeologist/anthropologist types following you around.. asking who's ass you fell out of. and you'll have to say that you came out the other end.. and they'll be shocked. and they'll write some awful thing about evolution.. which will force you to make a call.. telling them. you actually aren't talking mummy shit. but just a person. who feels like shit too much. see how complicated things get?

i'd be less bothered by this.. if they didn't spread it out over.. the 3 months that it's been. if i could just get all of it at once. that'd be great.. and if the guy from office space could say that for me. that'd be better.

i think somebody poisoned my cookies.. because i felt like throwing up after i ate them. not cool. but it does keep the cookie monster away.

'You can't win all the time. But you can't lose forever, either.'

they don't know me. f-e-e-l all right.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
nelson and mdl load total.
mdl load total. TOTAL could not be loaded. input total to execute. total. OUTPUT could not be loaded. so much shit.

maybe i didn't see a sign.. or looked at the wrong one. but apparently the study area in the library is for talking. mainly for white people to talk about classes.. or that's what i think they were talking about. they could be using new white slang that i don't know about.. but hey. they didn't shut up. it wasn't the fact that they were making the noise.. but it was the sort of thing.. where they weren't loud enough for me to hear everything they were saying.. which i'm pretty sure i would've gotten a kick out of.

when you take your piece of gum out of the paper you're supposed to keep.. do you lick up the leftover powdery sugar flavor stuff? i saw somebody do that.. and just thought.. that's a very fat thing to do.. other fat things to do include.. rolling down a hill because you don't want to walk. robbing a bank with a fork.. going to subway.. their sandwhiches are very good though.

i like walking through the empty hallways and listening to my footsteps.

'what's this? are you into demons and shit?'
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
nelson and starburst hard candy.
best candy ever. and i'm left with these 7 year old ones stuck at the back of my desk drawer. could they bring them back? i don't know. they want to be dorks and have people lose arms in barrels of acid trying to fish out the chewables. i don't even know why they're trying.. everybody knows the chewables market is ruled by the flintsones vitamins.. or some other shaped chewable vitamins. don't fuck with those people. they'll rough you up. and then you won't be chewing your vitamins anymore.. but recieving them through a tube that goes directly into your stomach. i'm tired of the uneven jaggedness of jolly ranchers. where's my smooth symmetrical candy? probably stuck in some 3rd world bargain bin for unsuspecting tourists to buy and get diarrhea.. then they'll eat the candy and feel better.

after starburst reads this.. they'll have to bring back the hard candies..

"what ever happened to the hard candies? i miss them ever so much. please allow them to make their triumphant return to store shelves.. then the not so triumphant return to my stomach. at least my stomach will be happy. as well as your wallets.

your special friend from sunny california,

nelson."

they wouldn't let their special friend down. this sounds awful. if i forgot the 'r' in the burst.. it's because they were threatening to sue me.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
nelson and his day at night.
there was a dog. the owner said its name was cookies.. but i called it po po. and everybody started clapping. then later. not having enough to pay the magician.. $200.. come on.. i don't even remember the tricks he did. i thought he could make money by acting gay and winning some discrimination case in court. i then said that this plan was air tight.. then people began to argue about that.. until we decided on 'bulletproof.' which it was. and they said it was a brilliant plan. after that. i mixed beer, rum, and jack daniel's. and ended up with a soured throat because it was awful. it happened to be somebody's birthday. i remember the restaurant looking very red and firey like the way hell appears on tv.. but it wasn't hot. i think i stole some erasers from a basket that was full of them.. but i'm not quite sure if it actually happened. then i woke up after recieving more applause for calling the dog 'po po.' a rather strange ordeal. unfortunately it was just a dream..
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
nelson and starburst and dorks.
In response to your email regarding STARBURST HARD CANDIES.

Thanks for contacting us about STARBURST HARD CANDIES.

Because we are reviewing our marketing strategy, this product is unavailable at this time. Your comments will be shared with our Marketing Staff.

The product cannot be purchased via the Internet nor directly from us.

Have a great day!

Your Friends at Masterfoods USA
A Division of Mars, Incorporated

that's exactly what they said a year ago. fuckers. you business majors.. tell them they're fuckers when you get to the top. and you know.. take over the company. and urinate all over the CEO's office. then it'll be your office because you marked your territory the way dogs do. then bring back the starburst hard candies.. and i'll be your number 2 customer.. some fat guy will be number 1.

it irritates the hell out of me the way this one guy acts. it's like he has a rod up his ass.. and that rod has another rod up its ass. and there's a bell at the end of it. so he knows when the rod might not be up his ass. just constant crap from this guy. he kisses so much ass that there's no more ass left for the other ass kissers to kiss. there was a guy sort of like this at uci.. but he did things in a much more enjoyable way. so i liked that guy. anybody who volunteers to hand papers out for the professor.. and dances around to lucy in the sky with diamonds while he's doing that is great. and the best part was this guy was filipino. and his name was pierre. and he enjoyed german pop. this other guy is just a dork.

there's something about this marquee moon. if i ever do drugs.. i need this with me.
Currently listening :
Marquee Moon
By Television
Release date: 23 September, 2003

Monday, December 04, 2006
nelson and finals.
two finals back to back on thursday. and these are awful classes where something like.. 16 problems make up 90 percent of your grade. no need to worry though. because i'm fantastic. i'll bring scissors. scissors cut paper. and finals are paper. i just have to make sure i don't run into any rocks.

so it's time to take a bunch of vitamin pills and stuff. because my mind is full of garbage and doesn't want to function properly. normally i'd just let it not function.. but since it's finals week. i sort of need it to work. just sort of though.. i don't want to end up like this guy.

terrible. terrible, terrible stuff.
Currently reading :
Engineering Mechanics: Dynamics and Student Study Pack with FBD Package (11th Edition)
By Russell C Hibbeler
Release date: 31 July, 2006

Saturday, December 23, 2006
nelson and santa.
dear santa.

you're old. that is all...

thank you.

enjoy your holiday. whichever one it may be.

also enjoy coca-cola.. those polar bears really like the stuff.. and santa just loves it.. as you can see.

Currently listening :
Lightnin' and the Blues: The Herald Sessions
By Lightnin' Hopkins
Release date: 17 April, 2001

Friday, December 29, 2006
nelson, and. gogh!
no more of this tao te ching 'if nothing is done. then nothing is left undone' stuff. time to start a bunch of shit.. and probably not finish it. but hopefully finish it.. but shit will be started. and lots of it too. it'll be like spilling so many gallons of so many different colors of paint over wet cement and jello waiting to be cut into cubes or stars and hearts if you have those cutters.. i'll need to find some signs that say.. 'wet paint and cement. and free jello.' don't try to clean it. you'll just make things worse.

gogh!
Currently reading :
Go, Dog. Go! (Beginner Books(R))
By P.D. Eastman
Release date: 12 March, 1961

Tuesday, January 02, 2007
nelson and i.
i started reading my fluid mechanics book.. and took a nap. i'm going to stick a bunch of spikes on my desk so this doesn't happen again. or if it does.. it won't be fun.

i'm like crackers. ritz. and such. you can go to the chinese stores and find a box of 'zips. the party cracker' they're pretty much ritz.. but they're called zips. which i think is funny.

drawings should only be done in pen. erasing just means you're forcing youself to draw.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
nelson and these big cheeses.
i was really confused about the time today. so i showed up an hour early to class. at least parking was good.

no. i'm just a lucky mother fucker. apparently i didn't get a C- in my uci math.. so there's no need for my professor who calls himself frank. and i too call him frank to drop me. he also calls himself the 'bad guy' he made a real point of that today.. except when he told me that if i did have a C- he'd be a 'good guy' and let me stay if i had a C or better in any of the last couple quarters.. but there's no need for that. so he can continue being the 'bad guy' and i can enjoy this stats class. he also mentioned that he liked to gamble. so if anybody's going to santa anita.. the place where the horses race. place a bet on the number 2 horse in the sixth race.. he wrote that on the board for us to see for some reason.. and he kept showing us his lottery ticket.. and he topped things off with a.. 'i'm the bad guy.'

and right before that i sat in one of those tiny old desks designed for square robots to sit in.. sure it had an ass groove.. but it sure wasn't a human ass groove must've been some sort of racoon-like creatures ass. these desks are the worst. you know the ones. they're made of garbage.

what i picked up from this class today.. 'bullshit. do you guys know how to spell that word?' and.. 'you'll see the killer whales beat the shit out of a baby seal.' it's a good thing he says all this stuff.. because i can't read his writing. we call him keith.. and only his parents can call him dr. arnold.. i didn't quite understand that..

i have one extremely difficult class. and one extremely difficult professor.. or that's what the other people say. but anybody who wears a flannel shirt, jeans, and a tie is ok by me.

people often come back from the dead as zombies in search of brains or possibly crackers and cheese.. and these are the biggest cheeses available. but there are no biggest crackers to accompany them.
Currently listening :
Fear and Whiskey
By Mekons
Release date: 22 January, 2002

Monday, January 08, 2007
nelson and livestock.
3 nights a week. i'll get to treat my nose to the scent of awful smelling livestock shit as i walk to my car.. i don't like it. i don't like it at all.. why exactly does it smell so awful at night? i don't know. maybe the sun going down just scares the shit right out of the animals. so you know. you're getting really concentrated stuff. guuuh..

i have music stuck in my head. it's pretty enjoyable because it's a good song.

why are they making a movie out of this where the wild things are? tell the little fuckers to read that shit and enjoy the pictures. and the next time your mom sends you to your room without supper.. you tell her.. 'bitch! gimme my supper and my where the wild things are book.' and it'll still be warm.. i should go buy that book.
Currently reading :
Where the Wild Things Are
By Maurice Sendak
Release date: 09 November, 1988

unday, January 14, 2007
nelson and this warcraft.
you know.. it'd probably be a good idea to go nuts with the world of warcraft stuff.. let's make some warcraft juice.. make it green. and it'll taste like apples and vomit.. but it'll sell like hotcakes. also we should make some warcraft hotcakes.. which should already be selling like hotcakes.. but at an alarming rate.. like.. 'that's alarming!' soon we'll have the term.. selling like warcraft hotcakes.. at an alarming rate.

i got a bunch of venom sacks from these spiders.. they had green stripes and i needed some number of the venom sacks to complete a quest. i think i got a bag. and that's all i could muster up during the hour or so i spent playing the world of warcraft a couple months ago. any game where it takes a person something like 5 seconds to swing a stick to kill strange creatures you shouldn't even be fucking with in the first place just isn't worth playing. sticks can be swung at a much higher rate. giant spiders and flaming tigers should be left alone. and my skin was purple and i had these glowing eyes. and i jumped out of this treehouse that was really high up and i died.. i was wearing a dress. which didn't quite have the parachute effect it has in cartoons. it was supposed to get fun after i put in a lot more hours of sub-par stick swinging and being chased by birds.. but those hours can be used toward sleep.. or not playing world of warcraft.

for people who do play.. this is something beyond addiction.. because normal addicts don't do their stuff or read about it while they're taking a shit. i don't know.. do people smoke or do drugs while they're taking a shit?

let's hope the colts win.
Currently listening :
Disconnected
By Stiv Bators
Release date: 14 September, 2004

Sunday, January 21, 2007
nelson and ducks.
ducks are very interesting. if they were to take over the world.. we'd all be chained to park benches forced to feed them bread all day. how fun.

read the fine print.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
nelson and bolo.

usually gold is involved when people make a face like that. but bolo isn't like that. no. this bolo isn't like that at all. couple of black objects will do just fine for him. i can't quite make out what he's holding.. but he sure is happy about holding them.. or he's going to throw them at someone or something. my best guess would be.. bolo's throwing this stuff at the television.. like after he lost at madden. and the guy who beat him is standing next to the tv and mooning him. so... you know. a couple large black objects thrown in the general direction of whatever angers you will do the trick.

bolo doesn't take any shit from anybody.

midterms and stuff. mostly midterms.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
nelson and one midterm.
i forgot to write a 2 down on my notecard. which would then lead to me not writing down said 2 on my midterm. and i went from a 98 or a 97.. to a 95. i was blinded by the many flashing lights of the photographers that were there to photograph me as i signed autographs for robots and alligators in tophats.. so i can't quite remember. but a 95 isn't too bad. although i could be stepping on people's throats if i had that 98.. you know.. like. TAKE THAT!! and they would ask very politely if i would stop. like. 'please sir. you are stepping on my throat. if i may ask you nicely to please be removing your foot from the area which my throat also occupies i would be most gracious.' and i'll wonder why i was stepping on their throat in the first place.

i also didn't get the 100 percent.. because i'm a retard. hooray!

twice upon a time. too.
Thursday, February 01, 2007
nelson and another midterm.
fluid mechanics is like a toilet. it can be really clean and fresh and smell like pine and lemons or a not so pleasant soapy bleach smell (which is still smellable.. but doesn't remind you of a christmas tree that grows lemons). or it can be full of shit. lots of it. and if it were a public toilet.. that shit would somehow find it's way on the ceiling and walls with all the graffiti. and it reaches a point where you just have a room covered in shit.. and nobody wants to clean it. now where are people going to do their drugs?

i have another midterm.

somebody's license plate frame said. 'ENGINEERS DO IT TILL IT HZ' and i stared at it. and kept thinking.. h z? what the hell is h z? then i realized what the h and the z meant. so.. it didn't say. i'm an engineer so i'm a nerd.. it actually said i'm an engineer and i know how to make myself look like an even bigger nerd than i already am. it's ok to cross the line.. but when you cross it twice in one go.. then you might want to consider wearing a paper bag on your head. a burlap sack that says 'idaho potatos' for clothing. and kleenex boxes on your feet. you should also be smoking a pipe.. and you should be on fire. it's a very very very fine line between stupid and clever.

colts. by 978 points. if brian urlacher wears the wrong jersey and plays for the wrong team.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
nelson and right.
so you're doing your fluid mechanics homework. and you're stuck on the first problem. and the combination of the music you're listening to and the frustrating-ness of the problem makes you feel like doing your wild flailing of the arms routine. but this problem has you tied to your chair. so you can't.. and your chair is bolted down onto some train tracks.. and there's a train coming in from both directions due to mistakes in the other kind of engineering. so you have some pick me up juice.. whatever that may be. and incredible hulk the hell out of both trains. dig a hole back home and put on some mozart (probably k. 448). do the problem.. finish it.. look at the answer and say.. 'grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRrrrrrrrrrrrrRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrright!'

and even if you're wrong. at least it'll look right. grrright!
Currently listening :
ID Music
By The Third Rail
Release date: 05 August, 2003

Friday, February 09, 2007
nelson and rocket science.
why do things get so extremely complicated when they're put in motion? fluid dynamics doesn't like me.

it's fucking rocket science!

and it's my job right now to figure out how to make it not so rocket science-like.

on the very plus side of things.. you have sonic's rendezvous band. it sounds like.. an electrical socket that somebody stuck guitar strings in. and that somebody is laying next to the setup shaking after receiving a really bad shock. and then a dog comes in and rescues the person. and the person's happy until the dog bites him/her. and after tasting human blood. the dog turns into a werewolf. and then it eats the person.. steals the person's clothes. picks up a guitar and plays music on top of several coca cola vending machines in the former soviet union. i guess that's what it sounds like. sort of.
Currently listening :
Sonic's Rendezvous Band
By Sonic's Rendezvous Band
Release date: 28 September, 2006

Sunday, February 11, 2007
nelson and h..airCUT!
if i had eyes on the back of my head i'd have to cut two holes in my hair so i could see back there.. or i'd just shave the back side of my head and draw a face on there. with a curly mustache.. and mutton chops. you know what? i don't need eyes back there to do it. eyes can be drawn in. and drawn in they will be.. then other people's eyes will be drawn in.. because it'll the worst thing they've ever seen. they'll either laugh. or vomit with rage because they didn't think of it first. when you get angry enough to vomit.. then you know you're pretty angry.

but i did manage to cut my hair extremely unevenly. so unevenly that my mom said it looked like a dog chewed on it. we don't have a dog.. if you're sneaking your dog into my house to chew on my hair while i sleep.. that's not cool. but i would have to say.. you have a very well trained dog.

something smells like blood. i don't think it's me.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
nelson and haha.
hahahahahahaaaaa..hahahahhahaha.. hahahahahahahaha. hahahahaha. hahaahhahaha. uhh. hahahahahahah. hahahahaha. ahahahah hahahah. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahhahaha.. ahahahahahha .hahhah. h.h h.h.h.h .h. h.h .h... aaahahahaha. ahahha.a hahaha.aha haa.ahah.aha.ha.ahah.ah.ah.aah .ah ah.a hah. ah a.h ah. .ah ha.h.ah.a h. ah.a h.ah.a.h.ha .h a.h ah. a.h a.ha .hah.a .h.ha h. ah.a h. ah.ha. ha. .ha .ha .h a.ha .ha. hh a.ha .ha .ha ha. hha .hah.ahahahahahahha hahahahahhahahahhaha...

remember in elementary school how we had those super valentines day things with batman.. or the power rangers.. those were great. you'd get one with mr. freeze on it.. saying some stuff about a cold heart. or melting it.. or one that i think is just brilliant.. but probably never existed. 'kiss me. i'm two face.' i don't know. things are fantastic. i drank this apple juice. i'm going to call it apple juice.

um. there was a dead duck on the outer area of the field next to the parking lot where i park my car.. and the people who drive subarus.. park their cars all over the lines like they own the place. but it is i who own the place. i own it with such ownership.. that i am called the.. 'owner'. no.. but back to the duck. i thought it was a rock.. then i saw some blood. then i saw a very sexually apealling green head. then i realized it was a duck. with a bloodied neck. and that just isn't the way a duck should die. i'm a very big fan of ducks. not ducks that play hockey. but ducks.. also not that insurance duck that's retarded and only knows how to say one word.. um.. the green head is for sex appeal right.. because if it's not.. i don't find it sexually appealing.

i sign up for classes tomorrow. they'll say.. 'please purchase orbit gum. or give me $200.. so i may spend it on such mindless impluse buyings.'

i can't imagine what i'd be like on drugs. but it'd be a lot worse than this.
Currently listening :
OK Computer
By Radiohead
Release date: 01 July, 1997

Monday, February 19, 2007
nelson and the devil. and a new year.
um.. so if i happen to be psychic.. and i end up in hell.. for whatever reasons. there's probably a lot. i'd meet the devil. who would probably stab me with a pitchfork. then laugh at me.. and explain how my arms resembled cigarettes. and how he could smoke them. which is exactly what he'd do. and that's how my arms would become the devil's cigarettes. yeah. what the hell right?

i got an 88 on my midterm. i lost 10 points because i looked up the values for .01 or .001 instead of .10. i don't know what i was thinking. i probably wasn't. and that isn't too bad most of the time. you should try it.

the chinese like their number 8. usually as 888. as well as 666. it has nothing to do with the devil.

and happy new year. if you think it's a month late.. well.. you were a month early. wear all sorts of red clothing because the chinese think it brings luck. if you're a blood.. you're all set.

i helped a chinese man purchase a parking permit.. he was thrilled about it. but not so much about spending $5 for a parking permit.
Currently listening :
I Wonder
By The Gants
Release date: 17 March, 2000

Friday, February 23, 2007
nelson and eye rubbing.
when all that's left to do is throw homeless people at poor people.. well.. that's when we'll know the united states has become a country full of assholes. i won't be living there though. i'll be living in this country called the united america.. which will basically be a couple sticks and rocks and some dirt i gathered together.. with a sign that has a really big.. 'UA.' on it. or maybe 'UA!! mother fuckers! don't tread on this shit. because it'll get stuck to the bottom of your shoe. and i won't have a place to live... no mo'..' you know something to that matter. also on the sign will be a picture of a bear trap.. to keep bears away.

ok. um.. we were seeing this stuff on fluid flow.. with streamlines. and streaklines. and a combination of those two things and some other thing.. and it was really nice to look at. and if anybody was on drugs.. they'd probably really enjoy it. i thought.. this is probably how everything would look if i took acid or something awful.. it was the sort of stuff.. that you have to look at.. then rub your eyes.. then look closer. then all those surprise lines will show up over your head. and an anvil will fall on you. which is why people don't rub their eyes as much anymore. it leaves you open for anvil droppings.. but since nobody owns anvils anymore.. i think eye rubbing will make a nice comeback.. the rotating fist seems to work best.

i watch too much cartoons.
Currently watching :
Walt Disney Treasures - The Chronological Donald, Volume One (1934 - 1941)
Release date: 18 May, 2004

Saturday, February 24, 2007
nelson and people who take coffee into the bathroom.
i find it very strange when people bring a cup of coffee into the bathroom. like.. couldn't you pee.. then get your coffee? or you know.. drink it. and use the bathroom after you made urine out of it. i don't know.. you also have to deal with being extra careful not to spill your coffee.. and burning certain areas that you'd rather keep un-burned. and if you set it down.. you have to make sure no chinese businessmen toss their cigarettes in there. or use it as.. bear penis cooking sauce or something. you know how us chinese are. this would only make sense if you wanted to urinate in your own coffee. because the break room is no place to be urinating in your own coffee.. but then again. there really isn't a right place to urinate in your own coffee.

i was thinking that bringing coffee into the bathroom would be like.. bringing a flaming pitchfork up to heaven.. with all the clouds and stuff that you see on tv. and god is 100 feet tall for some reason. then god would see the pitchfork.. and he'll be like. 'thanks buddy. i've been looking for this.' and you'll have a puzzled look on your face. then you look up 100 feet.. and you realize it's the devil. and you're actually in hell.. and not heaven. and the devil will stab you in the ass and pick you up and carry you over to a lake of fire.. and maybe you'd get the thing about only seeing one pair of footprints because the devil was carrying you. what's that from?
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
nelson and essays.
ok. i'm going to write these essays today and tomorrow.. even if they come out as large elephant or possibly whale sized piles of shit.. i'm going to write them. if i can get it down to rabbit shit. i'll be happy.

probably the best thing a teacher can tell you is.. 'just make up your data.' so i get to make up a bunch of charts and graphs until they look the way they should. and people will be like.. 'wau..' because they're foreign.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
nelson and the first essay.
my topic sentence is awful.. and i can't start with that in my essay. so i'll start with it here. then maybe i'll be able to talk about eutrophication in a professional manner.. without any such mention of asses. and people being stupid. so what's the deal with eutrophication? it causes dead zones. and dead zones are no fun. like.. fish like oxygen. they told me that once. and these dead zones are a bit lacking in the oxygen department. so the fish in these dead zones.. just say.. 'fuck this man.. i don't breathe no oxygen with these gills.' and they die...

the world faces many environmental issues, but one that is often overlooked is eutrophication.

that sounds like a good topic sentence.. but i'm not liking the is is is is-ed-ness of the end. but the hell with it. i'm writing this shit now.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
nelson and the second essay.
i really really want to start my other essay with something that contains the phrase 'soulful shit.' it's supposed to be about monolithic domes or some other type of dome.. but i feel a really good way to start it would be.. like.. 'this is some soulful shit.. domes... blah blah blah..' i think that's pretty solid. but i'm going to end up boring the hell out of myself because we have to be all professional about it.. maybe i can start the presentation with the 'soulful shit.'

'hi. i'm nelson pi. and i'm here today to tell you about some soulful shit..'

Currently listening :
Maggot Brain
By Funkadelic
Release date: 01 November, 2005

Wednesday, March 07, 2007
nelson and rocket ship studying.
it will all fall apart.. or i'll have a rocket that'll take me to the moon. or maybe even mars if i have enough fuel.. petrol, if you're into that stuff.

so. 1 week of this rocket ship style studying.. just to make gravity my bitch. then i could say stuff like.. 'bitch. give me an apple.' and an apple will fall from a tree.

then i'll have an apple. and the doctors will stay away.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
nelson and cookies.
yeah. i'm going to eat some cookies now. because cookies are fantastic. anybody who doesn't like cookies shouldn't be allowed to have children.. because those children will just grow up to be cookie hating fuckers. and the world could do without those types of people..

fuck you steve urkel. your urkel o's taste awful. i haven't actually had them.. but i'm pretty sure poison tastes better.. but poison might not be too good for you. i mean.. you just can't trust a box with steve urkel on it.. count chocula on the other hand.. there's a guy you can trust. with the sometimes brilliant work of turning my milk into chocolate milk.

if this is any different than how i usually am.. i blame the studying. or lack of cookies.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
nelson and finals. part 1.
i need a break. i can't stand this biology stuff. the answer to every biology question is always something like.. don't be such a retard and buy me a sandwich. but they word it in a much nicer way.. they say. 'please don't be such a retard. and it would be just grand if you would purchase layers of sliced bread, meats, lettuce, tomatoes, and certain condiments for my consumption and superior digestive abilities.'

i could not study and get a B+.. but something inside me is saying.. go for the A fucker. i usually listen to myself.
Currently listening :
Mozart: Concerto for Two Pianos; Sonata for Two Pianos, K448
By Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Release date: 11 April, 1995

Tuesday, March 13, 2007
nelson and finals. part... final.
it's pi day.. so find a killer whale and help it beat the shit out of a sea lion or a seal or something. so it can have dinner.

i don't make the rules...

i also don't need to study after today. final at 11:30.. finish at 1:30. have some person crash into my car as i drive home.. and i'll be sad..

some guy tried crashing into me today and then he goes and honks at me. so i'm like.. yeah man.. your horn works. but there are better ways to test it. i for one put a couple hamburger patties over the horn.. and if those flop out when i honk.. then my horn works pretty well.. or that's what i'd do if i were a vegetarian.. or if i wasn't thinking straight.. it's a pretty homosexual thing to do.

and why do horns go 'beep' now.. and not 'AAaaaOOOOoooga..' like they used to. if i ever win the lottery.. i'm buying an old timey car.. so i can honk the horn and laugh for an hour.
6:10 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

nelson and finals. part deux.
see. i don't like finals. my neck hurt after staring at tests for 4 hours. and they aren't nice to look at or anything. one more test requires staring on wednesday.

please do not challenge me to a staring contest. thank you.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
nelson and h(t) = (Qt / b tan80)^.5
ok.. screw making a time machine for the purposes of time travel..

a washing machine washes stuff. a machine gun.. shoots you if it has bullets.. and guns the hell out of things when it runs out. and my time machine will make time.. or take away time.. but that might be what a time bomb is for. that's terrible..

i don't know what that means.
6:16 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

nelson and finals. part... final. the last part.
you're stupid.
Friday, March 16, 2007
nelson and x-men vs. street fighter.
i woke up and thought it was thursday.. then i thought it was saturday.. then i remembered it was friday.. then i played a bunch of x men vs. street fighter. and now my fingers hurt. and my eyes aren't happy.

but it's a very enjoyable game.
Currently playing :
X-men Vs. Street Fighter

Sunday, March 25, 2007
nelson and pre-sale hearts.
class starts again. um... pow!

i read something about einstein today. it basically said.. don't stick what you learn in your ass.. because that's not where it belongs.

i had this dream. i was buying a little record by a band called 'the pre-sale hearts'. what's a pre-sale heart? i don't know.. and i don't know what they sound like. because i didn't have a record player in my dream. i can only imagine crazed cannibals lining up for these pre-sale hearts. then they'd all kill each other while waiting in line. lines only lead to trouble.. but that doesn't quite make sense.

they sell human hearts over in taiwan for $290,000. if you're smart you'll head over to the PROC and get it for half that. chairman mao gives you deals.

and after seeing a couple hearts get ripped out of people in the movies.. i wondered if they really kept beating like that.. because some of them start going nuts. especially that one in indiana jones. it just keeps beating faster. and faster. and faster. and then just bursts into flames.

jellyfish are of interest.
Friday, March 30, 2007
nelson and week 1.
i thought today was saturday. because i have no class. i'm like school during the summer. um.. or i don't have class on friday.

the lack of numbers and formulas in my classes is very strange.

why are they calling me 'steven pi'?

i think my music 100 teacher is not fond of my very crooked musical notes.. straighter notes will be used next time.

i never finished reading faust.. i should start reading that again.

casio or yamaha?

sure. i'll become a satanist. but i'll be a terrible one.. and end up in heaven.

and you might say something awful like.. 'hey baby. you must've came out of my ass. because i have beautiful shit.'
Currently listening :
Never Been Caught
By The Mummies
Release date: 05 November, 2002

Tuesday, April 03, 2007
nelson is oranged.
Current mood: oranged. and happy.
i was oranged today. and it was an enjoyable sight.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
nelson and a circus accident.
i need to get cut up or have something broken or some other injury.. so when somebody asks about it. i can say.. 'circus accident.' maybe i'll roll down a couple sets of stairs and stick some crocodiles at the bottom. roll through a few rings of fire along the way.. and maybe stick a few ferrets and steaks for the crocodiles in my pants. that'll mess me up. but as long as my vocal chords are in good enough shape to say 'circus accident'.. i'll be fine.

how am i going to drink soup with a plate?
Saturday, April 07, 2007
nelson and my guitar smell.
i was playing my guitar.. playing it very not well. and now my fingers smell like.. i want to say a rusty car.. but i don't think i've ever smelled one of those.. like i never really went up to a rusty car and smelled it in a way a dog would. you know how they like to smell stuff. like if you haven't seen some dog in a while.. they'll act like complete assholes until they smelled you. but after that they'll be ok with you.. but they won't stop sniffing your nuts. but i'll go ahead and label this smell as 'my guitar smell.' and the next time i see my guitar.. i'll smell it and remember that it's my guitar. and not bark at it or anything. if i'm really smart i'll bottle the stuff and sell it at macy's or something.. and the bottle will say. 'my guitar smell by nelson pi... for use on guitars or yourself if you wish to smell like a guitar and have dogs think that you're a guitar.'

cd sales are down 20 percent.. i should start a band that consists of an octopus on drums. a bear on bass. and something terrible like.. a three toed sloth on vocals and rhythm guitar.. and on lead guitar i'll need to toss in that talking smoke detector from the commercials that taught us how to be cool about fire safety.. seymore smoke.. i really want to say butts. but it was smoke. that was his name. he was such a fucker. telling us we're not cool. but yeah.. this probably won't help cd sales.. but i never said i wanted to.

the problem is probably 70 percent because of all the downloading.. and 40 percent because of the retards. that gives you 110 percent. and whenever you get something giving you 110 percent.. well that's all you can really ask for.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
nelson and banana peel.
i ate a banana today. and i ate it in my car. and then i went to class. that was around 9. and when i came back in the afternoon.. my car smelled like bananas. they stick trash cans way too far from where i park. and the sun doesn't help either.

it wasn't a terrible smell.. it just smelled like hot bananas. or.. a hot banana. because there was only one of them.. i decided that i would throw away the banana peel when i got home.. where trash cans are much closer to where i park.

then maybe i thought it'd be a good idea to keep the banana peel in my car in case of an emergency.. what emergency you might ask? well.. if some fucker has a red turtle shell.. that banana peel will cover my ass. and i'll be safe. or you know.. i could toss it out the window and ruin somebody's day.. that is.. if they happen to run over it. it could be me that runs it over.. and that'll just ruin my day.

so the banana peel is in the trash can now.. and it'll make any rats or trash digging monkeys or whatever weird thing eats banana peels out of the trash.. very happy.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
nelson and coffee. feeeee.
coffee's supposed to get me all wired. but this coffee i made isn't working. but i did treat my finger a nice burst of steam. which made things go from warm. to very hot. very quickly. hey.. if things weren't so damn mysterious.. i probably wouldn't be looking for answers. but mystery solved. i need more coffee.

studying retard biology is stupid. my bio textbook is like a fat magazine. with all it's smoothly printed thin pages and easy tearability. it has lots of pictures and stuff for retards like me to enjoy. but these pictures have nothing to do with the text.. such shitty artwork makes me feel like vomiting.. or it might be something i ate.

um. 2 hours until midterm actions take place. cold coffee when it's cold is awful. my feet are cold. my feet would not enjoy cold coffee at this moment.. or any other moment. please do not purchase coffee for my feet.. they prefer socks and shoes. and stepping on things.

i remember about 40% of this stuff from high school.. the other stuff is just nerd stuff that i don't enjoy dealing with.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
nelson and midterms. the ones between the first and the second ones.
i don't know why i feel like i need a new guitar. but.. that's how it is. i'm looking into it and stuff.. but i'd rather convince myself that nothing's wrong with the one i have. so.. i'll stop being such a retard. and maybe you'll do the same if you need to. it's hard to stop being a retard.

after producing such sexy computerized notes.. i found out that notes needed to be hand written for my midterm. so extremely un-sexy hand written notes will be used.. and my eyes will wish they had something better to look at. like.. the sun. stare directly into it for best results. and when you go blind you'll enhance some other sense that you can waste on stupid stuff. i'll probably waste it on touch or smell.. like.. this table feels more wood-like now that i'm blind. and the refrigerator keeps the food slightly more cold than what i've noticed before. also shit smells extra terrible. and i can smell when you're smiling. it smells like peanuts.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
nelson and writer's block.
yeah man. if i could start my essay with 'yeah man' i would totally do it. for instance. 'yeah man. music in england is great. it all dates back to the druids who ate babys way after chinese people did. also something about gunpowder should be mentioned.' but you know what? i really don't think the teacher would really buy into that. i'm just as surprised as you are.

but i do need to get this paper started. england can kiss my ass... is another improper way to start the paper. i need to sound classy.. yet entertaining. i'm terrible at this..

since i don't know what to write.. i'm working on this writer's hammer.. so i can smash the hell out of my writer's block.

yeah.. writer's block. get your own! this one's mine.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
nelson and horse racing.
i should watch more horse racing. and maybe before i do that.. i should start watching horse racing.

it's been like.. i don't know.. 3000 years since we've seen a good chariot race too. next president to have some sort of circus maximus-like distractions has my vote. the distractions president bush uses aren't very fun.

i can think of at least 8 things that are wrong with that picture.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
nelson and being sick. now with midterms!
i am not fond of being sick. nor am i fond of midterms. nor am i fond of not being fond of things.. and the double negative thing is confusing. so i need some drugs. good drugs. drugs that don't make you see stuff and feel stuff. unless that stuff is good. and the good stuff you feel should last longer than a couple hours or however long the illegaled drugs make you feel good.

i'm sort of tempted to see what the inside of my medicine tastes like.. since the outside taste a bit sugary. but part of me is afraid that it'll just taste really awful.. like.. masking tape, copper, and a broken dvd with ranch dressing. so down they went without further tastings.. and my digestive system took care of the rest.

my structures book is a piece of shit.. baby's shit. so it's all gross because babies eat that smashed up paste food. good thing i'm such a genius.
Currently reading :
Structural Analysis: Using Classical and Matrix Methods
By Jack C. McCormac
Release date: 13 October, 2006

Tuesday, May 15, 2007
nelson and nyquil.
i don't know what's in nyquil.. but it makes me feel pretty good. and i don't know what flavor that green kind is supposed to be but it's awful. make sure you get the cherry kind. it's still awful.. but at least you know what it's supposed to taste like... the green one i think says 'original flavor' on it or something.. i don't know what that is..

did i already mention how i should carry bread in my pockets? well if i haven't.. i should carry bread in my pockets. and even if i have.. i should carry bread in my pockets. why? so you're always prepared.. for ducks or some other bread eating creature.. like me. i like bread. it's already happened to me at least 6 times.. the ducks on campus are walking around and i have no bread for them. and this one time one of them was quacking at me.. so i felt pretty bad.. ducks are funny. i don't know why.
Currently listening :
Wailers Wailers Everywhere/Out of Our Tree
By The Wailers
Release date: 23 December, 2004

Saturday, May 19, 2007
nelson and presale hearts. again.
this is what i get for buying black guitar picks. when i drop them or they fall out of my mouth.. because the mouth is a very good place for picks.. they end up on the darkly colored floor and it's very difficult to find them. i went to that music store in fullerton looking for brightly colored yellowed picks. but had to settle for these super patriotic red, white, and blue ones because they didn't have any yellow picks.. so yeah. i'm just going to end up looking for the black one and sticking it back in my mouth and wind up losing it again. maybe i should buy a brightly colored rug instead.

i'm going to try and write in this other thing now. it's much more pleasing to the eye.
http://presalehearts.blogspot.com/

so yeah. that presale hearts thing has a nice ring to it. like one of those super high pitched ones you can't hear.. so like you hear it.. but you don't know you're hearing it. and it doesn't bother you or drive you insane.. unless you're a dog. or maybe a bat. bat's are blind and not deaf right? or are they neither? everything is now this presale hearts garbage.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
nelson and... ’i need to lay down’
Current mood: you’re looking at it.
upon the request of a stranger who's found my writing amusing.. i've been forced into writing something down here again. her words being (in my own words) 'hey you stupid fucker! did you forget how to write? or did you get your hands chopped off after you got caught stealing sand from the sandbox? yeah.. i know you chinks don't know english.. but fuck!' but it was nothing like that. it was a lot more pleasant sounding. like. 'hey dog, why you ain't be writin no mo. why that is?' again.. in my own words.

but seriously.. i feel like vomiting. unwanted side effects from pain killers and manually making your head spin through video games can do that to you.

and you can write your local news tomorrow. and wish yourself a happy holiday.. since the other one just passed. past. it's not past. but if you stare at it long enough it'll zoom way over to the left.. i need to lay down. lie down. take your pick. i don't make mistakes. you do.. if you choose wrong one. if you happen to choose the right one.. then awesome. that's the one i picked too.
Currently listening :
The Paisley Reich
By Times New Viking
Release date: 13 February, 2007

Presale Hearts

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Sunny side up.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Burger Records

Sunday, December 21, 2008

king tuff - staircase of diamonds

Friday, December 19, 2008

King Tuff - Staircase of Diamonds

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

LO♥E

Monday, December 8, 2008

HOLY SHIT!