haz day

Let's see...

$1.99 for a bottle of D&G brand whiskey.
Something called "Haz Day." As in Hazardous Day.
And apparently people dance on Haz Day.
And there was a really steep walkway and a drippy parking structure.
Inside there was a supermarket where I saw the D&G whiskey.
And next to the liquor was cupcakes.



"What is this? Apple juice? Beer!?"

the dark.

I'll tell the world.

It pains me to feel so dark.

one more thing.

Oh. I almost forgot:

"My hair looks like I just got out of jail."



and Sheena is a punk rocker. I was reminded numerous times in a song.

strawberries and oranges.

You ______ like you've been sniffing glue and listening to the Vivian Girls.

A) Sound
B) Taste
C) Feel
D) Look
E) I'm fucking senseless and I don't know what the fuck is going on


Wait. People are supposed to have 5 senses right? That's why that movie was called "The 6th Sense." I forgot one... but I'm too lazy to think of which one. Oh. Nevermind. It was smell. When are we going to see the prequels to "The 6th Sense?" People will pay good money to hear such lines as:

"I smell strawberries."


Why do I always smell strawberries? Or oranges? I always think somebody is making jello. But they're not. How do I know? Because they never invite me over to eat jello.


dicks.

456

Do I look tired?

I know an ostrich that got scared, stuck his head in the ground, and drowned. Damn you groundwater. I'm going to have a rabid dog bite me before I take my midterm later, just so I can be that much more vicious. Can you imagine if James Bond were to have rabies? "Hello. Cheerio. Raaaah!" and only that kid from the Old Yeller story will be able to save us from that sexy english bastard.

Something's wrong with my right foot. I had to tie it up.

ad = surface
ab = inside

I need to figure out a way to remember that. ds and bi. perfect. hand held gaming and bi-sexuals.

I feel so cold.



ecstasy of gold
head on
sympathy for the devil

groundwater exam

Me? I'm not feeling well.. I'll press any button that's in front of me. Even if it's red. A big red button. I'll press the hell out of it. Blam! I think I'm going to vomit. Do you think that.. Do you think that? DO. YOU! think that.... this is just awful. I'm cold and all I have is a blanket from my childhood to keep me warm..

Back to the books. The groundwater exam doesn't stand a chance. When I'm done with it you'll need its dental records to identify it.


I have more to say... but I. I I I I i I'm not feeling well.

guh.....g.

Something's bothering me... or I have to pee. Hold on. I'm going to go pee.

No. Something's bothering me.



Sleep? I don't need sleep. Sleep is what retards do when something something... I'm going to sleep.

groundwaaater.

I'm pretending my water is some alcoholic beverage. It's the only way I'm going to get another single spaced page out of me. My professor wants me to write about China's groundwater. I'll tell her about China's groundwater.

China's groundwater is full of monkey piss and used tiger droppings. Chinese people don't deserve any water because they'll just piss in it and get sick when they drink it. They keep shitting in the water and dumping chemicals in it in hopes of creating a Godzilla-like monster so they can make some really cheesy movies too. Pretty soon Chinese people will lift that one child per family rule and start throwing people in giant juice machines to hydrate themselves and as always they'll use the bones to get erections.

Something like that... and relax I'm Chinese. It's my duty to say stuff like this.

commercials

I learned that 50 square feet = 100 pet urine spots... probably the most useful conversion since the whole foot to inches thing.. or the metric system. and the next commercial had a guy using an electric shaver underwater.


Too too too too too tooooo much!

briefcase in the hallway

Are you serious? Because that sounds kind of queer. But... "alas" it is neither serious nor queer.

This shitty bootleg coffee never does anything. I still don't know if it really does have caffeine in it or not. The important thing is that my mind thinks it does... I'm being such a damn owl it's not even funny. Please check the room of my floor (Yes, that's just as crazy as it sounds. I'm not fixing it.) tomorrow to find owl pellets filled with all sorts of furs and bones of rodents. You'd be surprised at what you find in those things. We dissected them in 6th grade. There were at least 4 skulls in there. And just a ridiculous amount of bones. We labeled most of them femurs or we said it belonged to voles or something. The teacher had us glue them down on shoebox lids. We were like loser poachers displaying their dumb hunting trophies of small rodents. So you know what? Forget about being an owl... I'm going to be a dinosaur. "I don't care which one, I just want to be extinct" as my old writing teacher put it.

People just freak out if you leave a briefcase in the hallway. They stop and stare. I found it all very odd. It's just a briefcase.

headphones

My ipod headphones broke. Well... the left one broke and then I broke the right one trying to fix the left one. I know, I'm very talented like that.

homework.

I'm not going to do my homework.


That's it.

how?

I'm sitting in the dark with a briefcase full of chocolate bars next to me. Just tell me this hasn't been done in a movie and I'm doing it...

Nevermind. Where's my guitar?