thought

I'm going to sit here and just think for a while.




That was horrible.

upgrade

I need new music to play in the car. The music I'm playing in there right now is good... but there is better music. So this stuff needs to get upgraded. Like sticking arms on an armless person. UPGRADE! Like putting wheels on a toilet and riding to work. UPGRADE! Like eating too much fish and attracting all the cats in the neighborhood to crawl around you... UPGRADE... if you're into cats.


"and heaven I think is too close to hell."

one THOUSAND words

tomorrow

The Dagobah System?

something.

Something something something something. Something something something? SOMETHING! SOmething something something something something something something something... something.

something sometimes someone somewhere somebody... something.

cigarettes.

I got it. A 3.28ft (1m, because my ass is metric) cigarette. Do you have any idea how ridiculous you'd look if you smoked that thing? Now... I get the giggles just thinking about it. I see... that generic guy you always see riding on one of those big old timey bikes. You know, well dressed, bowler hat, mustache... etc. And he's just pulling this long cigarette out of his custom made extended pockets... and he has to use two damn hands to smoke the damn thing. It's ridiculous. Even more ridiculous would be a crazy cigarette... sort of like a crazy straw but a cigarette. I'm full of great ideas like this. Oh. and about those custom pockets... if our hands were bigger or our arms were longer we'd have pockets that went down to our knees and were like potato sacks..

912. I dialed the shit out of 912.

I keep feeling earthquakes. I'm pretty sure there were two yesterday. And somewhat sure that there was one earlier today... the one I felt right now was probably my ass. My ass hurts. I've been sitting too long. And I must've misspelled cigarettes like seven times while writing this. It was coming out like... Cigaretets. Sounds like sugar tits... or a Vietnamese holiday that you smoke.

Woah... ok. I'm not listening to that song.

or this song...

or that one or the next one.

But this one..........


No. the next one.



"I'll come running to you, honey, when you want me."


Ok. halfway through that song I skipped to the next one.


Bonus Material (!!!!!!!!):
I think you stupid and you're a dummy and you smell like old cheese that's been licked by a guy that ate tuna and cat food and you like to kiss that guy after he does that which is why you smell the way you smell and you're dumb and stupid at the same time so two wrongs make a right so you're actually smart and that smell I was smelling wasn't really you but it was a fish that somebody threw under my desk as a prank and I never really found it until now and the smell really makes me want to throw up but I can't because it'll go all over my keyboard and it'll make it not work and it'll probably not feel too good and I saw where I threw up last week and it made me smile except I don't remember there being such a large splash so it's like it really spread out after I drove off and yeah I threw up right before I drove home because I ate too much lukewarm unmoist food at Chili's that night, which by the way, brings you some punctuation or something like that but you really don't care and you have no idea what the hell I'm even talking about and i'm not going to capitalized anything anymore because it's too much of a hassle and if i do somebody is going to call me a nerd and i'll have to tell them, 'fuck you!' and i'll feel bad for saying that but then i'll think of something else like that damn extended cigarette and i'll laugh and luagh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and lang and yeah.... good night.

missing. still.

Something's still missing.


"Smiling faces not forgotten 'cause I love you."

Missing

Something's missing here.


"Cause you know we go together like wine and Devo."

sometimes

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Write your own stuff today. My mind is a mess.

hero? part 2.

I have a glass of water on my desk. I bet the water tastes all gross because it's warm and it's been sitting there for a while. Annnnnnnd.... after consuming said water, it wasn't so bad. It was bland... like water's supposed to be. It's nothing like that Vitamin Water stuff. That stuff is great. I tried making my own vitamin water by tossing some Centrum into my water. It tasted like so much shit. This, of course, was before the time of swallowing your pills and stuff was really in fashion. No... not that stuff.

Hey! What the hell? I'm still a hero to someone. How does this even happen? At least with Spiderman it's like... "Oh no! That radioactive spider just bit the shit out of my hand and now I have to use my spider powers to beat up all sorts of sick freaks that have too much time on their hands. I. am. a. HERO!" What am I supposed to do? I don't even know. I'd go out and beat somebody up but I'll either get beat up myself or I'll get thrown in jail for beating up somebody that was holding two ice cream cones or popsicles or something. The fucker had two! One's just going to melt as he eats the other. Don't tell me that person is going to eat two ice creams in weather like this before one melts too... That's called a brain freeze. I'm just beating some sense into the retard because nobody likes sticky hands. Sticky Fingers on the other hand... is a pretty good album.

But no, seriously. I'm glad somebody's getting something out of this. I don't know who you are Gabba Gabba person, but thanks for reading. I take it by the "hero" comments that this stuff is making you smile or something... or maybe you're some villain type and this stuff makes you frown. I just killed a mosquito... and if you're a villain, I just don't know what to do then. Stop reading it if it's making you frown. Go read some evil shit that makes you smile. Like... Green Eggs and Ham. Green? And that pushy little hairy mandog character that pressures the hell out of the other guy into eating that mossy green stuff... If I didn't know any better, which I don't, I'd say that this is the single most evil piece of literature ever written.

I was supposed to sleep earlier today.



"And even though you're so near / You still feel so far away"

buckets

Fuck this... I'm playing Tetris.

How do you tell somebody you love them? You drink lots of chocolate milk or strawberry milk and hope the words come out in the right order. Oh. and you should also make sure that it's just words that are coming out of your mouth... the other stuff can send the wrong message. Like, "Get me a bucket."

you!

I'm sitting here shivering because I don't realize just how cold I really am. I am just melted. Melted by the perfect song at the perfect time. I don't care if I end up with a fever.

I miss her too.

hawaii

Let me tell you about Hawaii...



Some other time maybe.


Well, I'll say this. The second day I was back in California my skin was orange.


Hawaii is a dick.

Hope

You know what happens when you take the "p" out of "hope?" Yeah. You ruin it.

Random screening my ass.