not a ghost

The Audacity is a band that sprinkles bits of opium on their musical notes so you get completely hooked by listening to it... and being Chinese, the sprinkles of opium is both the best and worst thing ever. But really that's all anybody can ask for. Music that'll bring you down and pick you up. So when you feel the awfuls, you'll get your dose of uppers... and when you're way up on your upppers the music will carry you back down to the even levels of mediocrity which will soon be elevated back up by the music... and you'll be stuck in some really really nice loop. Not if you're a robot though... you'll hate it then. If else if else if else if else if else....... Blam! And the sparks and circuits of your artificial head will splash to the floor... and of course a song like "Twilight Zone" will be playing in the background. Yeah this doesn't make any sense... but who cares. For all I know you're reading this while you're sleepwalking. Don't wake up though... I hear that's pretty bad for you. New cassette is on the way somehow... if not by magic then by something else. Bird.

heirhkugt

I'm sure we'd all have extremely long hair if cutting it caused pain... well those cutter types would have short hair. Everybody else would have hair dragging on the floor or something. At least the streets will be cleaner that way. But since it doesn't hurt to cut your hair, having it short is one way to go. The others being bald, medium, and long... and probably something terrible. Like... wearing spaghetti and the top of a mop on your head. I remember my professor saying something about hair being as strong as something... I can't remember. It was either steel or bones. But it's really weak because the cross sectional area is so small. I don't know... I got a C in that class. Ask me about water... I'll give you the answer and have to go pee after a few questions.

So, I cut my hair today. I had too many weird spots where it stuck out. I either have more of those spots or I evened things out... I don't know. The virtual image of myself in the mirror looked like it was even. It even mimicked my every move then punched me in the nose... what a dick. It turned out to be somebody else that looked completely different, but I was fooled. Perhaps I've spent too much time watching cartoons, but I'm almost certain that you're the one that hasn't been watching enough.

3 hours

I've been tired for the past 3 hours... why I'm not sleeping yet I don't know. I spent about an hour eating dinner... and another hour trying to figure out how to remap the calculator button on my keyboard to open up my music player. It works pretty well. For some reason I don't find using the mouse fun anymore. That leaves 1 hour free which I filled by trying to find the metaphoric hammer which will crack my skull open and let all the wonderful sounds in my head pour out like a great river. I would like any sounds that pour out to arrange itself in an ear pleasing manner. The strangest image dances around my mind now. Sound waves or notes or something with arms and legs all clamoring about to align themselves in the perfect order, but if that happens the credit will go to science or something.

This is the Song You Sing (and howl)
Written by: the guy who invented science and nature and the sine wave and those musical notes that put themselves in this order... now they're stuck in this order.
You're Stupider than Me Records

Being the psychic I am, the song will fail miserably but still manage to make its way on a late night television show about monsters terrorizing parked cars that they think are sleeping children... the picture was switched during their monster meeting which they ironically had under a child's bed.

Zip a Dee Doo Daaaaah!

Fart Amp

I am having dreams where I'm playing the guitar... I'm fairly good in my dreams. Enough to catch a groove and have quite the rhythmic pattern going... It all revolves around the C chord too. So, I need to figure out just what I'm playing when I wake up. I forget what I play when I wake up.

It just got really cold for some reason. Some raisin.

Note to others. I believe Link Wray stabbed holes in the tweeter portion of his amp... the tweeter part. Most amps aren't broken down into those parts. So trying to get all Dave Davies/Link Wray on your speaker cone may or may not make it sound like a fart when you play bass notes... my amp that I went all Dave Davies/Link Wray on sounds like a fart when I play bass notes. I wouldn't be saying it if it weren't true... hold on... wouldn't weren't... yeah. So I would be saying it if it were true.

Oh. And I'm sure she was supposed to be wearing pants... but she wasn't. It looked a bit odd.

Sunday Morning

The lack of fireworks in the sky on the drive home was a bit of a downer to a somewhat.... extremely somewhat good night. I guess I can't blame Mr. Mouse for not shooting a few rockets up into the sky at !:00am... capital 1 is not 1 apparently. So, aside from the fact that I knew one person coming into it probably contributed to it... but that one person is a good person. Aaaaaaand... she now owns a Burger Records bag. Siiii==ooooooooooooooooooo...... those were o's... If she uses it, perhaps it'll bring in a few customers to an already great establishment... You! Person who's reading this.... go here:

Burger Records

Make a few clicks and buy some of their stuff... it's very good. If you don't find it good... then you can go down to the Burger store in Fullerton and find something you like. I found Darklands and Psychocandy by the JAMC. This is stuff I couldn't find anywhere and the prices on eBay were slightly more than I'd like to spend. Psychocandy is especially interesting since the vinyl is super thick. You know how Captain America has that shield of his? I think this record is just as tough... if not stronger....... strongaaaaarrrr... I don't represent Burger nor do I speak for them... I'm just a fan of music and the same fans who admire a fine beat and a fitting tone. Again... I don't speak for them.. If they let me speak for them, they'd be in trouble... possibly with the Chinese government too. I don't think they allow hamburgers to be sold in China or something. I also do not speak for Chinese people. I can only speak for myself and maybe that one guy who thought I had something to say... but I really didn't at the time.

...That's when I realized "Sunday Morning" was playing on the drive home. So it all works out. Sunday morning. Early dawning.


I've got a feeling I don't want to know.

The Bootleg Series

I guess every band needs a bootlegger... but I don't know if I should release it because my bootleg that I recorded on my phone sounds like ass.... several of them. It's not the band... it's the recording. If the band sucked it would sound like so much ass that you'd be up to your ass in ass. I need a thesaurus... but if I look up ass I don't think I'd get anything.

I don't know where the wire is to hook up my phone to my computer... so I will withhold on the whole computer magic thing and close my eyes for a few hours... possibly more.

Good night.

"Sweet dreams please"

D'Addario strings

I'm sure there's somebody out there that swears by D'Addario strings. Well, I tried them out... and they're ass. They feel like ass when you play them and they crack and break like ass too. Seriously, I was down tuning my guitar and it snapped. How does that even happen? And don't you dare say "fatigue failure" because I'll call you a nerd faster than you can say, "ASS!" (just drag out the sssssssss...). And no, I wasn't turning the tuning knob the wrong way... I've made that mistake before and learned from it. Also, I was tuning the guitar in a well lit room... not in the dark like the other time I broke a guitar string. I grabbed the wrong knob. [insert inappropriate joke here].

So I will no longer use D'Addario strings, unless they somehow freely appear before me. Just like the set of free strings some person will receive from me... because I know somebody out there loves D'Addario strings... but really. More durable than Ernie Balls my ass... sure are a lot of asses in this one... ass!

Sweet dreams please. Good night.