Highway 61 Revisited

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you get really close to dying? I had one of those. I picked up somebody else's drink and was about to drink it... but there was a pop and the glass shattered in my hand. I look down at the broken glass thinking my mind is playing some kind of sick joke on me, but when I look up the bouncers are shooting at somebody outside the doorway. They all collapse and this guy walks in with a gun. It's a crowded restaurant, but everybody is frozen in place but me and the shooter. The shooter goes off to the other door, fires a few more shots and kills a few more people. My head is now telling me that I should get down... so I do that, and I just freak out because I know everybody is going to die and I wake up. Sort of a dark turn for my mind to take...

So. This is just Bob Dylan's way of punishing me for not listening to side 2 of Highway 61 Revisited in its entirety. I remember listening to "Queen Jane Approximately" (pretty song) and then I went to sleep had that awful dream. So after I was all shook up by that dream, I put on side 2 again, just thinking it would calm me down a bit, which it did... and after I've finished side 2 and went back to sleep, I had a rather nice dream.

Not much was going on, there was just a nice girl in it. I remember buying ice cream which I can't find myself doing anytime soon, but it was just nice that she was there.

So yeah. If you're going to listen to some Dylan, don't piss him off or something by not listening to complete sides to his albums. Dylan's curse or something... and then he rewards you if you do listen to the whole thing, so that's pretty nice. And you get a bunch of good things for your ears too.

la vs d

I think my brain will just leap out of my skull and say, "Fuck this, listen to your heart brother." I get absolutely torn between things when making decisions.

The World's Classiest Toilet

Ok. I've seen some really awesome toilets in my day. There's these really round urinals at the hotel my university runs, perhaps the fanciest most awkward urinal I've ever been involved with. I'm not like a toilet expert or anything. But I know when I see something that's above and beyond everything else.

Now I'm not talking about the bowl part here. That has been completely over done. Golden bowls filled with water that has diamond dust in it or something so when you make your deposit the thing glistens and shines brighter than the countdown ball on new years eve... you know how it goes...

The flushing mechanism. That's where the action is. These days it's either something gross you don't want to touch, like at the bathrooms in a public park... to the mid level thing where you just walk away and it does everything for you.. or something so fancy that it doesn't even need to be flushed, it goes straight down a pipe or something. But here's something really classy. When I saw it, I was afraid to flush due to a lack of classiness on my part... but you know what? When you flush that toilet, the intense classiness it carries gets transferred over to you.

So I went and followed the instructions, "Push Rod Down." Upon looking down where the arrow guided me I was met by a man in a tux perhaps on his way to his wedding, but no, he will take the time to help you flush. Now tell me, what is more classy than that? Nothing... well maybe a bear wearing a business suit in an elevator, but nothing else can come close. So here's to you Mr. Groom... I apologize for the delay. When the time comes you can go to your wedding, but until then, you will be the absolute classiest individual to ever walk this planet... even though your legs are fused together... I salute you good sir, keep on flushin'.




I apologize for the number of times I used the word 'class' in all it's forms and varieties... But really, that's the only way I can describe this thing. Fucking class!

Standing Pandas.

So far, there has been one thing that's just absolutely terrifying to me, hairy spiders. I don't want one crawling around me and if there is one around me, there's a very good chance I'll do something really weird to smash the hell out of it. I just won't be comfortable.

Now, to add to the list, standing pandas. Standing pandas. Why the hell do they look so creepy? I mean they're all cute when they're sitting or on all fours, but the second they stand, they become just really really creepy.

So... when I get the money and whatever resources I need to open a University, I'll open one in Anaheim. UCA. The mascot will be the Standing Pandas.

F-ing Terrrrrrifying... of the terror variety, not terrific.

Answer:

A) I got very light headed because I was blowing dust off of my keyboard. I was trying to be one of those cans of compressed air. Didn't quite turn out as I had hoped, and I feel weird.

B) I got very dizzy because I was listening to stuff with an extremely high amount of tremolo going on.

C) I have to poop.

D) All of the above.

April Fools

I have it worked out in my head that driving in reverse is pretty funny. So I'll be driving in reverse down the freeway or something... and I'll get pulled over, at least I really hope I get pulled over. That's when I tell the officer, "April Fools." and I probably get punched in the face and shot in the leg... the officer will also say, "April Fools." and drive off.