Cabin Fever

WEll.thi s this is boring. Well this is boring. That's better.

The only thing that's been on my mind is going home. So I haven't done any sort of work. And I mean like... nothing. I'm inducing cabin fever, but there's nobody to kill so it isn't as fun as it sounds. No Indian burial grounds, no axe collections, no freak kids to beat up with a baseball bat, nothing... just boring old cabin fever.

It's probably nothing.

Giant Scissors

Hello. I would like to know where one may acquire a pair of the giant scissors millionaire types are always using to cut random giant ribbons that may be impeding construction of their mansion type structures of sorts. I ask, because I have a fairly large bear outside of my window that I think only an extremely large pair of scissors will scare off...

Really though, if I get that rich, I'm cutting my ribbons with a giant gun.... a laser if technology permits. Watch me cut this shit everybody! Speed of light... you're too slow. Ribbon cut. Tear down this school so I can build a petting zoo full of rocks you fuckers. All those pet rocks are now MY pet rocks.

Nap

I just woke up from a nap. The only thing I remember from my dream is I was playing basketball and somebody was driving towards the basket. So, I did the next best thing... As he went up, I bit the shit out of his fingers. I got away with it because it was like... I don't know why I got away with it. Sort of like it was a video game, so I could do that kind of stuff. Anyway. Basket averted. Human flesh tastes like Skittles.

De-fense!

What's that supposed to mean?

The world cannot construct a middle finger large enough to equal what I'm about to do.



I'm going to print my homework.

Dear stupid New York mutant person,

Thank you for reading this.