Land Sharks with Lungs

I hear a lawn mower struggling to start... no... nothing yet.. nope... not that time either.. oh!  no, totally thought he had it there..  seriously... how many times is he going to try this? ok.. so there's been about 5 tried to get the motor going so far... that's 6. Did he give up?  I think he gave up..

Yep. He totally gave up.  I went out to check the mail and it smelled like gasoline.. PAH (poly aromatic hydrocarbon) city.. or I don't actually know... but he's chopping up a tree.  You know... the tree that's to the side of the porch area that isn't in the way of anything... Yeah. Let's cut the branches off of that one.. but after 5 minutes of that he's done.  If I were him I would go and slice off that branch that teeters oh so close to the truck on the driveway.  I'm pretty sure the tree touches the hell out of his truck when it's windy.  I for one don't want a tree touching my car....  The sick perverted freak.  Always trying to get some sort of action by rubbing up on your car and leaving leaves all over the place... and then the tree shows up and my car becomes the saddest thing in the milky way galaxy... like a frowny face that has it's own personal frowny face.

Well good, I'm glad he gave up on this.  I was seriously thissssss close to genetically modifying some fish so I could tie hungry land sharks with lungs to his pants. I don't even think he enjoys yardwork... I think he does it so the landlord doesn't stay as long when they show up to pick up the check.  So fuck this guy.  The house isn't yours, dude.  But let's be positive about this.....

Hey! The sky looks awfulllllly grey... if 1 drop of rain hits the ground I believe I have permission to punch somebody in the face... My mom should be expecting a call from me tomorrow...

"Hi mom, I punched the guy in the face... and you were right... his mustache didn't come off... boy! is my face red right now.. ha... ha... ha....."

it's either that or...

"Hi mom, I punched the guy in the face while pulling on his mustache and his head exploded.  So I guess we were both wrong there.. but hey, remember how you used to tell me I talk like I belong in prison?  I think that's going to come in reallllly handy now. Ok. Love you, mom... BYE <3!"