Ok.. I'm not a horrible person... but I do get annoyed by things....... it's mostly stuff the guy upstairs does... So, like a normal person I write about it before I go up there to urinate on his belongings.
I seriously thought it was a company calling to set some stuff up with me... but it wasn't. it was the old man... with some bullshit. And I was at work. That's not what I want to hear when I check my voicemail as I'm walking to my car. I seriously wanted to do that thing were a person gets spooked by their phone and they drop it or chuck it against the wall... I was genuinely annoyed to hear his voice... and it goes onnnnnnnnnnnnnn.... for a while.
So give it a listen here. Richard is the landlord. We give him money:
http://youtu.be/399Md80Jix8
Ok. So I was supposed to leave my check out so Richard could pick it up, but I went to work pretty early and never got the text he sent saying he was coming by... so I have to do other stuff to pay him... but seriously... I know why he was calling me... it wasn't to tell me about paying rent.. it was so he could bother the shit out of me and complain because he hates it when the landlord comes by to pick up the checks.
So let's break this down...
"Hi, Nelson this is Jim." FUCK!
"Richard is here..." Cool. I like Richard. I like how he makes you feel uncomfortable. I like how he understands my broken chinese too.
"I think it's about 11 o'clock......... in the morning." The dude is so freaking obsessed with sticking times to everything except his cooking. Why!? If he leaves a note... he'll put the time on there... even with this voicemail... where my phone tells me what time I got the call and the message.. he throws this line in... and I know he knows how cell phones work because he has one too. So it's nice and all... but you know... it's such a pointless thing to do.
"and richard is here.." Ok. I didn't forget about that yet..
"And you didn't leave your check on the counter." woops! not much I can do until I get home though...
"Um... maybe you can call me back?" This is my biggest problem with the message.... why, why why why why why why the helll would I call you back? YOU and not Richard? Here's what would happen if I call the Old man...
"Hi Jim, you told me to call you back?"
"Yeah... richard is here. you didn't leave your check on the counter."
"Oh, yeah, sorry, but I'm at work, can they wait until I get back so I can write them a check?"
"Um... I'm not really sure. They left and they want you to call them."
"Fuck you, man."
Back to this...
"My number there......" I sped up the last few digits... which makes it sound like he's saying damn it. Neat.
"I guess you didn't leave your check down stairs.." Totally aware of that.... again. You mentioned it like... 2 seconds ago.
"So, call me back uh... let me know what time you're coming home. usually you come home around 2 or 3." So I'm guessing this is why he hangs around downstairs reading the paper when I get home... trying to stir up some small talk..
"So if you get this.. can get this message call me back please? Ok thank you." No... and I didn't call him back...
The entire message is basically him telling me everything 2 or 3 times.. it reallllly annoyed me. I left work and I had to pee, but I went downtown and walked around just hoping that Richard would be waiting at home and the old man would be getting all worked up because there's an old chinese man in the house that does legit Buddhist stuff.
Gah... fuck this... all I want is for him to start acting old. At least then I would respect him.
When I got home he told me they left... so I asked if they were coming back... he said no... then he said that they wanted me to call them... So there you go... I didn't need to hear your voice on my phone.
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