I have strass and it's a pain in the ess. I don't know why I have it... I should be relaxed. So, Let me freak out for a few seconds... and I'll be ok........... OK!
Something interesting happened... something interesting usually does... but I got a phone call from the landlord saying they'll be coming by tomorrow to pick up the rent. Not a problem. Rent check is written and I left it out on the counter. The best part is not that I get to deduct the router money from my rent, but it's the fact that the landlord said, "Could you tell Jim? He called me, but I can't find his number to call him back." I said, "Suuure! :)" He could hear the smile..
He has the Old Man's number... I'm 100% sure that he has his number. I mean, he has my number... he called me.
This just means that the Old Man called the landlord and probably asked about something stupid... He sort of, kind of does that from time to time... I remember we got this flyer about how we can drop our e-waste off at the davis waste disposal place. I took a look at it, and thought, "Hm.. don't really have any e-waste to get rid of, but if I do I know where I can drop it off." When the Old Man saw it, he must've thought... "Oh. E-waste. Gosh it's sunny today, what time is it?? 3:00pm.... gosh it's sunny today. It's 3:00 pm and the weather is really nice... Well, I don't really have any e-waste... I think I'll call the landlord to see if they want me to throw any of their stuff away." I'm not sure why he decided to do that, ever since he's moved in he's been trying to throw their stuff away for some reason... because that's what somebody wants to hear... "Hi, I'm living in your old house for a really good price.. Can I throw some of your stuff away?" I mean, yes, it's really old stuff that they probably don't even need anymore... but come on... it's not in the way of anything, it's their house, if they want to leave piles of paper along the walls then go for it. He was actually telling me that he's embarrassed to invite people over because of all the decorations. Reallllly? That's why you're embarrassed? It's not because you live with a Chinese freak that's rubbing his 11th toe on your toothbrush when you leave or the fact that the same Chinese freak will take the smelliest shit then go out and touch all your stuff in the refrigerator without washing his hands? I'll let the reader decide whether or not any of these actions by me are actually true.
Ok. So that was neat. I tell the Old Man, "They're coming by tomorrow to pick up the rent." What does he do? He feels the urge to do yardwork. I don't know why he's doing it... like I said before... nobody's asking him to do this, he just feels like doing it... which is fine. but for whatever reason he's acting like it's this big chore that he HAS to do.
He tried to cut the grass a few days ago. He gave up.. I tell him the landlord is coming tomorrow.... he springs into action like some worried teenager who's parents are coming home after a long trip. Cut the grass, cut the grass, cut the grass..... make the air smell like gasoline.. cut the grass... I don't even know what he's doing with the gasoline to make it smell so much. The gas station doesn't even smell as bad as it does when the Old man tries to get the mower started.. I think he's spilling a bunch of it. So anyway... he cut the grass... really half assed like.. you know, just kind of dragging the mower along.. not really looking what it's doing. I should sprinkle dog food and laxatives over the grass so all the neighborhood dogs will come take a shit all over the lawn.
He then spends an hour watering the plants. After all that I get to treat my lungs with a bit of particulate matter because he turned the oven on. Yeah.... cut the grass and make the outside look nice, but don't do a thing to the oven and make the house smell like burnt farts when the landlord isn't here.
Oh. And here's what he does with the water boiler... he fills it with just enough water for himself.. What's the fucking point of that? Fill it all the way! it's holds like a liter and a half. Why even bother using that to boil a single cup of water? The reason this thing exists is to have instant boiling water whenever you need it if you keep it full.. so you know... use it... get your water... and fill it back up... and you're all set for next time. What does he do? He uses it like a baboon's blue ass and only fills it when he needs water... meaning the thing is empty 90% of the time, yet it's keeping this tiny bit of water piping hot. So if you're going to use it that way.... why not just stick your cup in the microwave and boil wter like that? Or how about you go back to boiling that single cup of water in a pot like you were doing before?
Why does this bother me so much? It's because he's using the water boiler the wrong way and the energy is wasted. and it's not even like he makes an effort to keep it full... when I fill the thing up... I get my cup of tea out of it... but he shows up and.. Oh, ok, he'll have like three cups of tea and fill his pot with boiling water so he can boil it some more and waste it all without filling it back up.
Really... I have plenty of information on things I can toss in the water that won't make him sick... but it'll really fuck up his water... but I'll probably just unplug the thing so he thinks it's broken.. and that will totally work.
There.. I went from having strass to having stress to having honey in my tummy. Back to work!
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